Good to you vs. Good for you
There comes a time in every person’s dating career when you have to stop dating inappropriate people. I know we like to think there is something about those folks that bring you thrills and excitement, but trust me that grows old really fast. Besides, you can’t compare the excitement you feel when you are with the right person!
It’s not always easy determining who is good for you because a lot of us get caught up in how “good” they make us feel. How do you know when you are dating someone who is good for you? When do you figure out they are the marrying type vs. the dating type? I’ve always heard that men know almost immediately which category they will put a woman in. What’s their secret?! (Seriously guys, spill it).
If you are trying to weed out the inappropriate people (crazies, hot and little else to offer, etc.), what do you observe and pay attention to the most?
If you are seeing someone now, are they good for you? How do you know?
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413 comments Add your comment
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:17 pm
4Real – Naw I’m coming at it as Sunday being Game Day for dudes, especially football season.
But yeah, if you only want to see me on Tuesdays at 9 pm and you are non-existent Prime Time – Friday nights and Saturdays, Houston we may have a problem!
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:17 pm
Leggs – Don’t I dare what?
Leggs
July 26th, 2010
4:20 pm
“I’m going to start being one of those ‘you better put a ring on it!’ whiny women now.”
I was saying don’t you dare to the above (yes, I know you were joking).
blue-7/30
July 26th, 2010
4:23 pm
as far as that im not getting married thing, yeah their honest, but d@mn when you’ve decided not to waste time with that since you know you do want marriage, and yuo were thinking about marrying them but oh well. you move on, do your thing, fast forward to when youve gotten married and d@mn if old “im not ever getting married” dude has gotten married after all. SOB
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:23 pm
I was saying don’t you dare to the above (yes, I know you were joking).
No, i’m not joking. The easy going way hasn’t worked.
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:24 pm
d@mn if old “im not ever getting married” dude has gotten married after all. SOB
Yeah! Egg the limo at the wedding!!!
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:24 pm
old “im not ever getting married” dude has gotten married after all.
blue – exactly! That’s what I was telling 4Real.
For Real
July 26th, 2010
4:25 pm
I think we have had a first here on the blog. Run 4 asked a question and answered it in two post.
Kimmie: Some woman don’t want to get marry too. Either never been married or they are divorced.
Ared: 10yrs and it did not end badly. I talk/see her almost everyday. And don’t be fooled into thinking money and/or a certificate provided you with somekind of security. If a person “got you” they “got you” because of who you are not because of your money or some certificate. Don’t believe me ask your parents. Hey but I understand the desire for your first certificate.
Dirty Diana ♠
July 26th, 2010
4:26 pm
Yeah, now I’ve lost my trash taker outter, my bug killer, my handy man and 6 am airport chauffer.
abc
July 26th, 2010
4:27 pm
Nobody is going to get married. Then they meet the one they want to marry, and poof.
Some folks get married without caring about it very much. They just figure, why not. It’s not the best way to go into it. Better to marry someone that really cares about you, intending to be good to you and for you, rather than having a ‘why not’ attitude themselves.
If you don’t meet one that you really want to marry, then don’t. Talk about emphasizing the obvious!
blue-7/30
July 26th, 2010
4:28 pm
@Ared – lol. missed my opportunity for the egging. funny thing is, now he’s less than happy lets say. finding it hard to keep my mouth shut on that one.
abc
July 26th, 2010
4:28 pm
…that is to say, all people really mean when they tell you they aren’t going to get married is that they haven’t met anyone that they’re going to marry yet.
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:29 pm
And don’t be fooled into thinking money and/or a certificate provided you with somekind of security.
No, I’m a realist about that. But I do know I want to be married. Not just with someone long term.
For Real
July 26th, 2010
4:29 pm
Blue: “d@mn if old “im not ever getting married” dude has gotten married after all.” – Men aren’t stupid, when we get old we marry so someone can take care of us. Preferably a young chick cause they strong enough to lift and wipe in one motion.
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:31 pm
I am sorry to hear that Ared, now if he knows how to mop I say keep him and go with the flow…mopping is the worst.
Thanks DD. This is the toughest one to let go of since my first heartbreak.
I ain’t never seen him push a mop tho. Hell, he’s never seen me do so either.
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:31 pm
Preferably a young chick cause they strong enough to lift and wipe in one motion.
Dirty Diana ♠
July 26th, 2010
4:33 pm
Ared nothing is forever, but you have more power being married than shacking up for a 100 years. That certificate may entitle you to part of is 401k plan, that certificate will entitle you to his SS benefits, that certificate will give you more. I’ll be damned if I lay around with some man shacking and be left out in the cold. And, that my friend is real talk. Not to mention that thing call alimony if the marriage ends and it is applicable.
blue-7/30
July 26th, 2010
4:33 pm
@For Real – lmao. now how many men you think have let the best thing that ever happened to them get away that way?
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:33 pm
Some woman don’t want to get marry too
4Real – I realize that. Same thing with alot of them too – say one thing, do another.
Melo
July 26th, 2010
4:34 pm
Hell, he’s never seen me do so either
@Ared??
what kinda of floor do u have in ur kitchen that u doint mop??
u have domestic help?
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:35 pm
DD – I want to have non-fornicating sex too.
Otherwise, if the commitment is there, I might be good with a life partner… 
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:35 pm
melo – I clean the floors when he’s not there. We didn’t live together.
blue-7/30
July 26th, 2010
4:36 pm
@Diana – i just need to be able to show why my birth certificate and SS Card dont match……naw i see what your saying. i dont need to be told, after 20 years of “lift and wipe in one motion” that im not entitled to anything we built together simply because i have no piece of paper to show.
For Real
July 26th, 2010
4:36 pm
Ared: “But I do know I want to be married. Not just with someone long term.” – I know what you are saying but it reads kinda funny tho.
Dirty Diana ♠
July 26th, 2010
4:36 pm
(((hug))) to you AmazonRed I was cheering for you, but you are a strong woman and I know you will get through this one. Maybe next go around you can let Melo, play like he is your daddy and ask all the tough questions on the first date. Actually that is my plan…I am going to Melo in some suspenders, stacey adams and a stetson hat like my grandpa wore and say he is part of the family and let him go in. If there is a second date I know I am working with a winner.
Leggs
July 26th, 2010
4:38 pm
Oh, you were’nt kidding. Well, that’s not a good look either. You’ll probably yield the same results you’re yielding now….Zilch on marriage proposals. No man wants a woman to nag him into marriage. Nor should you want a man you badger into marriage.
Like this dude said on Michael Baisden…don’t spell it in his grits! He’ll pop the question when he wants to and not because you were so thirsty kool-aid is dripping out the side of your mouth (lol).
czBrat
July 26th, 2010
4:38 pm
ARed, i’ve often wondered if i should become the whiny, needy, can’t-live/eat/breathe/think-without-you type of woman who seems to ALWAYS have a man’s arm to hang off of, but i just don’t have it in me. i don’t think i could pull that act off even if it were just for yucks
. i have to trust that a strong man who is not looking for a weak woman will be the right match 
For Real
July 26th, 2010
4:41 pm
“That certificate may entitle you to part of is 401k plan, that certificate will entitle you to his SS benefits, that certificate will give you more. I’ll be damned if I lay around with some man shacking and be left out in the cold. And, that my friend is real talk. Not to mention that thing call alimony if the marriage ends and it is applicable.” – Ahhhh there you have it folks the essence of marriage. Don’t you want to join?
Melo
July 26th, 2010
4:42 pm
I clean the floors when he’s not there…We didn’t live together.
@Ared??
so he has seen u when u are all made up clean for the most part,never in ur work clothes…..
u need to invite him over(the next one) even when the house is dirty,u are in ur home clothes,ur skirt is wrapped aroiund ur nikkers and u down on the floor mopping…suggests a hard working woman at work..and send him out on some errands too.
how wld I know u can clean,cook, fold clothes…etc if all i see is u at the restrant etc when we meet to go clubbing,dinner etc and not when u down and dirty doing some homely stuff??
just saying…
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:42 pm
wasis a good one. I guess time will tell.I know he was commitment minded when we met, he even asked me up front if I had kids cuz he wanted to be with a woman he could experience that “first” with. Of course he doesn’t remember that. And like life, things change, so ultimately, I know it’s all for the best. Now I’m free to find someone on the same page.
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:43 pm
how wld I know u can clean,cook, fold clothes…etc if all i see is u at the restrant etc when we meet to go clubbing,dinner etc and not when u down and dirty doing some homely stuff??
He’s seen me in that mode. The kitchen has to be cleaned after dinner is cooked and such.
Leggs
July 26th, 2010
4:43 pm
@Melo ~ this is the 21st century…I don’t think anyone gets down on the floor and mop.
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:44 pm
Zilch on marriage proposals. No man wants a woman to nag him into marriage.
Yeah, so that’s when I’ll just get pregnant!
Melo
July 26th, 2010
4:44 pm
@Leggs…whatever way u do it
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:45 pm
i have to trust that a strong man who is not looking for a weak woman will be the right match
czBrat – Well does you man have a brother?
blue-7/30
July 26th, 2010
4:45 pm
@For Real – seems thats more the essence of divorce than marriage. and as Diana said where applicable, wouldnt the woman be entitled to it then?
For Real
July 26th, 2010
4:45 pm
“Yeah, so that’s when I’ll just get pregnant!” – Dayum now that’s funny as hell!!!
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:46 pm
whiny, needy, can’t-live/eat/breathe/think-without-you type of woman who seems to ALWAYS have a man’s arm to hang off of,
Brat – I eluded to this earlier. There are thousands of women who seem to to everything WRONG, everything these dudes come on here saying NOT to do, that have sealed the deal! So much that I stopped listening years ago about what men supposedly want and just learned to be myself. If you can’t hang, tough. LOL!
AmazonRed™
July 26th, 2010
4:46 pm
Ahhhh there you have it folks the essence of marriage. Don’t you want to join?
You fell into the matrix at one point too!
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:48 pm
Of course he doesn’t remember that.
Amred – They all love to play that AMNESIA card!
Leggs
July 26th, 2010
4:48 pm
@kimmie ~ I remember asking a guy I stopped dating why he chose this whiny, nagging, mean biotch over me and he said “she showed that cared more for him than I did.” Dumb cluck!!!! Yes, they’re divorced now as well.
Melo
July 26th, 2010
4:48 pm
@Ared??
dude sold u a good lie tho as far as the breaking up is concerned.
For Real
July 26th, 2010
4:50 pm
Blue: “seems thats more the essence of divorce than marriage” – No it’s the essence of marriage because if you remove the access to his assets how many women would be so ready to get married?
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:50 pm
she showed that cared more for him than I did.”
Leggs – Dang if dudes are not using the SAME playbook! I’ve been fed that “she cares more” line too! DANG!!!
czBrat
July 26th, 2010
4:51 pm
LOL … no more at home quite like him, ARed. but you know what, he is who he is today because he’s been dogged (and did his share of dirt) in the past. i told him if i’d met him 20 years ago i would have avoided him like head lice.
kimmie, it helps to take a close look at the men they attract and realize that’s NOT the type of man for me anyway. so, to each his/her own.
Leggs
July 26th, 2010
4:51 pm
@kimmie ~ still mistaking whining, key cars, tire slashing and drama, drama, drama as a form of I Love You Pookie! You can have her!
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:52 pm
Brat – you right.
For Real
July 26th, 2010
4:54 pm
Ared: “Dammit For Real. You fell into the matrix at one point too!” – Yes I did and I have no regrets but I also tried to grab a Kenny-Fiddy-Cent out of a fire and I want be doing that again either.
Melo
July 26th, 2010
4:54 pm
coz as much as i been a good liar myself in the past, i ve never been that good and courageous to sit face to face with a good chic and tell them,babe,look,lets end this,its not u,its me…
and we have a happy ending…..
If u good enough to pull that off,u good enough to tell a chic any lie.
kimmie
July 26th, 2010
4:55 pm
Leggs – I baked this dude some cookies I had been seeing for a few months. Somehow word got back to his “ex” and she went over to his place and cut the fool! He told me her crying and screaming really got to him so he was going to give her another shot!
Of course he came crawling back a few months later after they broke up again. I told him miss me with that foolishness!