I received a question from a reader who has a little dating dilemma. Her new boyfriend makes significantly less money than she does. It did not seem to bother either of them in the beginning (most things don’t!) but as the relationship is progressing, things are becoming awkward.
She has already bought him clothes, paid for a vacation, and last week he asked her for a loan. It is making her feel like a “sugar mama” at this point. How does she handle this without ruining the relationship?
Is it a bad idea to lend money to the person you are dating? Do you think this type of thing alters the dynamics in how a man and woman relate to one another in a relationship?
Should you disclose the amount of money you are making to someone you have just started dating?
When do you bring up money?
360 comments Add your comment
Wise Diva
July 21st, 2010
8:30 am
Good morning! It’s Hump Day! I can see the weekend nearing yes!
gourmetcook
July 21st, 2010
8:36 am
Never , ever, ever loan money to anyone and especially family or someone you date. I’d say this relationship probably won’t last for the long run unless he steps up his game. Shame on him for asking his girlfriend for a personal loan. Red flags all over this relationship.
Happy Hump Day!!
Foolproofdiva
July 21st, 2010
8:39 am
Hmm… Does she watch any judge shows? LOL I’m just sayin, when it comes to “lending” money to a girlfriend or boyfriend you have to distinguish between gifts and loans. And if they are loans there needs to be a contract of some sort. You bring money up when it becomes an issue, in this case it is an issue… Who was providing for him before she started dating him?
I think she can handle this by telling him, “Hey I’m really feeling you but when it comes to my finances I’m about business and I hope you can respect that.” I don’t think you should disclose how much money you do or do not have when you’re dating. And yes this definitely alters the dynamics in the relationship.
2CPTG©----nobody's cake daddy!
July 21st, 2010
8:42 am
Mornin y’all
Wait a second…..this happens all the time; Except it’s usually the other way around – with dudes being the one on the giving end. The operative words in your post, Diva, is this, “Her new boyfriend makes significantly less money than she does.” SIGNIFICANTLY….sounds to me like she’s white collar, while he’s just barely makin it…She’s the one who’s gotta put a stop to the hand-outs; if not, dude gon’ drain her dry…
East Point's Own
July 21st, 2010
8:46 am
It may be too late for this relationship, she should have never gone down that path. I don’t disclose my income or my financial situation beyond what types of dates I am willing to finance to anyone until we are far down the road into a relationship… Sure you want to help the person you think you may love, but you have to resist the urge to go farther than you should too soon.
I have something new for you guys… click here http://fcinf.com/v/bkbr to help me measure how many people I can reach via the internet that’s all you have to do… then you can read about the project and determine if you want to participate.
SexyCool
July 21st, 2010
8:48 am
A man *borrowing* money from his woman has different connotations than a women getting money from her dude. Unfortunately.
today
July 21st, 2010
8:48 am
@Wise what happen to yesterdays’ topic? I dont see it. Thanks
anonymousella
July 21st, 2010
8:51 am
ooh. been there. done that. didn’t end well. i grew to resent him because i always had to come out of my pockets when this fool really needed to stop doing stupid s##t with his own. why did you loan $20 to your broke a## friend when you’re broke and then gotta come ask me for money? lost so much respect for him because he just wasn’t responsible with his cash and i couldn’t afford to support two people on one small salary.
i think she should start saying “no.” i can almost understand vacations. a hotel room for two is the same as a hotel for one. and you want to share the experience with someone you love. but buying clothes? loaning money? no. what is he doing with his cash that he can’t buy an outfit and has to come borrow?
dude should kick rocks. in some kicks he bought himself.
yeahyeahyeah
July 21st, 2010
9:00 am
boy these women have really flipped the double standards around on us guys. they want equality; they got it. they want good jobs; they got them. they want to wear the pants in the relationship; they got it. but don’t ask them to hold up their end of the bargain that comes with all this power and responsibility. they don’t want the bad stuff that men have been putting up with from women since the beginning of time, just the good stuff.
East Point's Own
July 21st, 2010
9:02 am
When is it ok to ask your date/mate for money? I mean I feel as if you should go to family & friends before you hit up a person you have been dating for only a few weeks or maybe less than 8-12 months…
http://hispointofview.com/2010/07/whats-yourmy-level-of-influence-online/
Friend or S.O...doesn't matter...
July 21st, 2010
9:08 am
…you should not be loaning money to anyone unless it is a pure business relationship. Be like Mike – just say NO!
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
9:08 am
GM all.
@anonymousella – here here. resentment builds this way, unfortunately. if we are both contributing financially to this reslationship, relative to how much we can afford, fine. if i wanna do red lobster and you can only afford applebees on special, so be it, but at least pay for applebees on special, and i’ll pay for red lobster. dont leave me to pay for both. and if it becomes obvious your just down right irresponsible with your money, oh he!! no.
IMO we dont need to start discussing financial particulars until we are talking some kind of commitment, we’re moving in, sharing bills, getting married – that kind of stuff. we still have independant households, dont see a need for you to know how much i make. either i can afford it or i cant, and thats as far as we need go. just leads to one or the other of us deciding how much of the others money they can “help” spend.
@Sexy – agreed. seems man borrows money from woman, its just that, borrowed. dont expect anything special because of it, and i said id pay it back, most likely didnt say when. woman borrows money from man, he agrees thinking now shes obligated to do the naughty. IMO
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
9:10 am
That is her fault, she from the story that is posted she knew his bank account was not up to par when she started dating him. Now it’s an issue all of a sudden? She should have never compromised from the start. Has her standard changed from when she first started dating him? Was she lonely and sacrificed her standards just to have a man and now she has realized that this man is not up to one of her standards? Better to be lonely than with the a person in which you saw a “flaw” (in your mind) from the start. LOL, silly lady you dug your own grave by even entering a relationship with a guy of which whom is not meeting your financial needs for HIMSELF. LOL
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
9:14 am
Morning
If she was really a sugar mama, she wouldn’t be loaning him money, she’d be giving it to him. lol Dude shouldn’t be asking his girl for money, and chicks shouldn’t be asking their guys for money. We’re all grown and should be supporting ourselves. Now, Wise we need a few more details. Is old girl always wanting to do expensive activities she knows dude can’t afford? Did she buy him new clothes because SHE (not he) was disatisfied with the ones he had?
Mrs. Tazzee
July 21st, 2010
9:16 am
dude should kick rocks. in some kicks he bought himself.
So true.
I think she got caught up with trying to prove she’s NOT a gold digger; trying to prove she can date a ‘good man’ that doesn’t make a bunch of money. Been there, done that…
Unfortunately I think that if she starts saying no now, he’s going to flip the script on her and try to make her feel like she’s not ‘ride or die.’
Yes, it is a bad idea to lend money to someone in a dating relationship. I don’t think it should be done by either sex, so stop with all the double standard BS.
I don’t believe in disclosing the amount of money I’m making early in a relationship. But if someone flat out asks, I tell them.
I think money should be brought up when needed. It varies in a relationship. It might come up when you decide to do something expensive together like go on vacation. Or it might not come up until you become exclusive and you start talking about building a life together.
Lurks
July 21st, 2010
9:16 am
She has already bought him clothes, paid for a vacation, and last week he asked her for a loan. It is making her feel like a “sugar mama” at this point. How does she handle this without ruining the relationship
She needs to close the purse and show him how she does it. If he can’t go or be white collar, he needs to learn how to get his hustle on. Nothing more sexy than a man doing what he got to do to make it. Nothing more trifling than a man sitting on his hands and allowing the women to do it. I can’t do it.
yeahyeahyeahbut don’t ask them to hold up their end of the bargain that comes with all this power and responsibility. they don’t want the bad stuff that men have been putting up with from women since the beginning of time, just the good stuff.
Whatchu mean? It’s not a woman’s “responsibility to take care of and carry some dude. “Hold up their end?” Hold up my end means taking care of me and my household. Heck he ain’t even her husband. So there’s no such thing, especially in this case of holding up her end.
abc
July 21st, 2010
9:21 am
Money is an issue for her if she thinks it is, and she evidently already thinks it is, so there you are.
You don’t loan money to SOs or family members; you give it to them, and if they give some back, fine. If you can’t give it freely, don’t give it at all, and don’t call it a loan. That goes for men and women alike.
If someone you’re newly dating asks you how much money you make and you don’t want to tell them, that in itself tells you that money could very well be a problem between you and that person — whether you don’t want to tell them because it’s more or less than you think they make, or whether you think they’re asking as part of a qualification quiz — and whether you’re male or female.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
9:22 am
I do not think you should lend money to anyone you are dating. I also think that you should not lend money unless you are a bank. Do lend anything that you expect to get back. Only if you can stand not getting it back should you lend it. In the initial phase of dating, by the persons job you should have an idea of how much they make no need for exact amounts until you get really serious. Id someone asked me upon first meeting I would think that they had ulterior motives. If you buy clothes or gifts for someone you are dating that is just what it is, a generous act and you should not EXPECT it to be done in return. Even later down the road, those thing were done from the heart, not something to be held over the persons you are dating’s head. She paid for a vacation, did they have to go right then could he have not saved some money to go later? I would not go on a vacation and not contribute if in fact I did not pay for the whole trip. A fool and his/her money are soon parted. It sounds like we are not getting the full story, maybe there are some other issues that highlighted the financial standings. He was good enough for her in the beginning, did she think he was going to get a raise or promotion or something? LOL
Kimmy
July 21st, 2010
9:23 am
Hi,
I don’t think people should bring up money until they are either getting married or going to live together. Prior to that it should be a combined effort paying for things. I you enjoy things that cost a lot of money and care about the person why are you keeping a box of reciepts?
Angel
July 21st, 2010
9:26 am
Unless this guy is a significant other I don’t advise releasing information such as amount of income, or spending a lot of money on that individual as well. How would you know where this person’s heart is if your consistently buying things for him? Whatever happened to chivalry? Have all men gone soft?
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
9:26 am
theres a difference between i cant do all the expensive things you may wanna do and i need you to help me support myself. how was he handling all this stuff b4 she came along?
@PR – she knew his bank account was not up to par when she started dating him – maybe so, doesnt mean tho that at some point he isnt just taking advantage.
oh, and melo did not deliver your message yesterday, lol
@Dreams – lol. that is true tho. suga mama wouldnt expect the money back, just some suga ,lol
@Lurks – Nothing more sexy than a man doing what he got to do to make it. Nothing more trifling than a man sitting on his hands and allowing the women to do it. ^5
Apollonia
July 21st, 2010
9:27 am
A man/woman that does not work does not eat – let alone get vacations – SMH
YUP, I said it!
July 21st, 2010
9:28 am
Yes, that is one sure way to end a relationship QUICKLY…start loaning money out. You can’t help but to have less respect for them- especially if you’re not in a position to loan in out in the first place.
I can see if you were dating and then suddenly he/she lost his job and needs a little help or the car breaks down, or an unexpected emergency happens and a little financial cushion may be needed. Then MAYBE you might get a pass….but to loan money just for the sake of loaning it unecessarily? He/She will definitely be back to ask you again, since you were so easily willing to part with the cash. This is never a win-win situation.
Nah…cain’t do it…I just CAIN’T!
As granny used to say, “Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing”.
Grace
July 21st, 2010
9:28 am
My one question is are they physically involved? It’s funny how we place money over our bodies and then complain and make a big deal when someone asks us for help but we can lay down with them so easily. Maybe I got it all wrong here.
Cindy
July 21st, 2010
9:30 am
Here’s my take: In today’s economy, more women than men are bringing in the bucks and jobs are still very difficult to come by. However, how long have these two been dating? Are they living together? Where do they see this going? These are questions that must be answered before money should be exchanged or given. And frankly, she needs to say something. Resenting someone is only the fault of the person doing the resenting. She has a choice: she can speak up and say that she’s uncomfortable, or she can chose to keep letting herself feel used. If she can’t talk with him about this due to lack of comfort or something, then this relationship isn’t worth keeping. But think about it–He may have no clue as to how she feels! Or, what if he’s got a brilliant idea, business plan, etc, and needs that loan money to show her that he’s on the verge of something great? We always have to try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes before making up our minds. She just needs to speak up and be honest; tell him that she’s feeling used and that she cares for him and doesn’t want to resent him. Ask him if he has any plans for making more money. And if they’re living together, she may have to realize that she has to boot him out (maybe get a roommate if need be) for the time being. (This doesn’t mean break up, but rather get out of each other’s hair.) It stinks, but I think it could help.
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
9:35 am
If you are not comfortable providing loans to friends or partners, don’t do so. Now how you communicate it is up to you. I am comfortable just saying no. Some may say no and give an explanation to soften the blow.
Lucinda
July 21st, 2010
9:35 am
Why would you disclose the amount of money you earn to somebody you just started dating? There are many, many other things that are more important, like learning about the person’s character. You can usually guesstimate what somebody’s income looks like based on the type of work they do. I’m always wary of somebody who drives too nice of a car, or who has too much stuff based on the work. It smells to me like somebody with a lot of debt and not very fiscally responsible.
If the relationship is becoming serious, then yes of course you have to talk about money. If I’m considering marriage, I want to see a credit report (and you can see mine), and whatever money you have in the bank, 401K, etc. It’s basic due diligence so I know what I’m stepping into.
As for Sugar Mama, if she’s feeling put upon, she needs to stop lending dude money and TALK TO HIM about it.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
9:35 am
blue, she knew his job standing she should not allow herself to be used. LOL. If he has the same job and no money how in the world can she expect to lend him money and he pay it back? Where is the influx of cash going to come from to payback what she loaned him. They both are at fault, he should have never asked and she should have never gave. Is she one of those “helper captain save him” types that just give? He probably got comfortable with her giving. LOL They should have never entered a relationship with each not due to him making less money, but because they did not have a plan. Does anyone here think she carries some fault for even paying for a vacation and “loaning” money?
Grace, good point.
M. (pronouced M dot)
July 21st, 2010
9:36 am
“Should you disclose the amount of money you are making to someone you have just started dating?
When do you bring up money?”
Good day. I absolutely think you should NOT disclose your earnings to someone you are dating. Dating is not a legally binding agreement at all. You are working, I am working, lets leave it at that. Why do we need to disclose figures? If I am not on the street, know that I am good. You never bring up money unless you guys are serious and moving to the marriage level. If he is able to take you out and keep his lights on, what is it to you then?
Reasons guys should not reveal earnings:
1. You don’t want to turn into a Captain save a ______! Take off your cape!
If she was making it before you came along, what changes now?
We aren’t here to be sponsors!
2. The dynamics may change either way and not in your favor. If you make a lot, then she may want to start getting in your pockets. If you don’t make a lot, she will subconsciously lose respect for you and may end up leaving anyway, EVEN if she says the money does not matter. Trust me it does!
3. It can put you in a dangerous situation. What if things grow sour and she gains contempt for you and gets you set up and robbed? It can happen! She knows your business!
Reasons women should not reveal earnings:
1. It will make you look like you are ready to spend. Why are you revealing your earnings? I know you want to look independent but you don’t have to tell your business.
2. It could also scare off the guy in the relationship if he makes less. You may chip at his self esteem.
3. It could cause conflict when your dollars are up and his are down. You going on another vacation? Getting this or that? Static!
SlimOne
July 21st, 2010
9:36 am
Hiya folks….check back in a little later.
Apollonia
July 21st, 2010
9:37 am
Wait – she might be the one trying to floss in front her friends, dressing dude up like a ken doll, I’m sure it’s not all him. The story does not sound like a relationship built on mutal respect and someone just needing a little help. It sounds like she is trying to make someone fit into her lifestyle.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
9:38 am
Would you feel more comfortable giving a person a money or giving them your “body”? Grace, I like where you took the topic. Some will give up the “goods” but not the money very quickly. LOL
Who are all of these new bloggers?
blue, what message?
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
9:44 am
@Apollonia – it sounds to me too like she is trying to show him off or revamp him, as PR said “helper captain save him”. maybe hes more of a project than a date and she’s ready to put him in the garage and find a new hobby? thats why now the spending is bothering her when it wasnt b4
@PR – how she expects him to pay it back, good question. i agree both at fault here. with her vacations and all she has led him to beleive this is how their relationship is, he asks or looks longingly at and she pays. but again, at some point, isnt he just taking advantage?
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
9:44 am
So, ladies, say you start dating a guy who makes much more than you. He likes to travel often, and he wants to do a two week trip to the Mediterranean, stay in an exclusive villa, the whole nine. You KNOW this is not within your means. You tell him this, and he says “Don’t worry. I got you.” Do you decline?
Lucinda
July 21st, 2010
9:44 am
I’m not dating anybody who can’t handle their own financially. And don’t ever come to me with the “I got a buisness idea” line. If you do, go to a bank and get a loan. I’m not an ATM. Been there, done that. Makes one lose all respect for the dude. You need some money? 1. Get a job. Even a crappy job is better than no job. 2. Get your hustle on. Do what you need to do.
CoolShadow
July 21st, 2010
9:45 am
She has already bought him clothes, paid for a vacation, and last week he asked her for a loan. It is making her feel like a “sugar mama” at this point. How does she handle this without ruining the relationship?
@Wise Diva – do you know at what point that the reader started feeling like a Sugar Mama? Was it when he asked for the loan? She needs to assess his trustworthiness to pay her back and if she can’t come to that point she shouldn’t do it—assuming that she even make loans. There are people who have a zero loan policy.
Is it a bad idea to lend money to the person you are dating? Do you think this type of thing alters the dynamics in how a man and woman relate to one another in a relationship?
It depends on your philosophy of money lending and the reliability of the borrower. Loaning money becomes a problem when the borrower fails to repay the loan, but that could potentially damage or end any relationship.
Should you disclose the amount of money you are making to someone you have just started dating?
Only if you want to date them really bad enough to submit a financial statement.
Grace
July 21st, 2010
9:45 am
Purple Rain, it’s a sad shame when money is place on a higher platform than our body. If she knew the guy made significantly less money than she did, why even go there with him in the first place??
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
9:49 am
Dreams, good question. I think a woman would still go on the trip. LOL
Lucinda, the guy she is dating has a job, it just not pay enough “for her”, according to her
See what happens when you settle? LOL
abc
July 21st, 2010
9:52 am
I never felt that I needed to hide my income from people. While it’s among the top 10%, I saw no risk of becoming some chick’s financial savior based on my income alone. I always thought it was very telling that they would ask. I never ask anyone about their income, no matter who they are. It never leads to a positive result: the one who makes more will feel a bit awkward about it due to the one who makes less feeling a bit resentful about it. Nobody is ever okay with the answers, so I never ask — but if someone asks me (and we’re not at work or co-workers) then generally, I’ll just tell them.
Short version: asking somebody how much they make is a clod’s move. Polite people don’t ask. Impolite people and clods are removed from dating potential.
Grace
July 21st, 2010
9:52 am
continue-if she knew he could not afford the lifestyle she lived why date him? Somethings are simple. If you’re okay with dating a person who is not on the same financial boat as you are go for it, but know full well that there maybe many many many times you will be footing the bill alone, if you have a problem with it then simply don’t date em.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
9:52 am
@Grace – good point. gota wonder about a womans priorities if the naughty is a no brainer, and a loan makes her think twice.
@PR – i was wondering who all these folks were too. figured being fairly knew myslf i just needed to catch up, lol
message, from yestereday our convo about eligibility to vote. will admit, your statement caught me off guard, but you make good jokes, so you cant be all bad, lol
Grace
July 21st, 2010
9:52 am
Dreams I would go on the trip.
Cindy
July 21st, 2010
9:53 am
@DreamsMaterialize: Exactly.
I feel like we don’t have all of the facts here. We’re only seeing one side! And, really, ladies? I get the feeling that a lot of you would still expect the man to take care of the two of you even if he were in a lesser financial position. Or you wouldn’t even look twice at someone if he makes less than a certain figure. Is this why women claim that they can’t find any good men? What year are we living in? Times have changed. Men supported women for so long (I know, I know–not really in our control), don’t you think that maybe it’s now our turn to help out? Or are we still in a 1950’s mindset…
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
9:54 am
Grace, that is a shame.
Lucinda
July 21st, 2010
9:55 am
@Dreams Depends on what the expected exchange is. What does he really want from me?
Now you know we’re going to get into the ‘double standard’ discussion, but at the end of the day, men have historically been the providers, most men WANT to be the providers, and expecting ‘equality’ in financial matters doesn’t really work out in the real world. A woman carrying a man long term creates problems, probably because he feels badly about it, no matter how much he says otherwise. She will resent it too.
Grace
July 21st, 2010
9:55 am
most men= if i’m getting the booty i have no problem giving you some money.
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
9:56 am
but know full well that there maybe many many many times you will be footing the bill alone, if you have a problem with it then simply don’t date em.
Then guys would almost never date. lol
Dreams I would go on the trip.
So, it shouldn’t be a problem that the guy in Wise’s story went right?
beentherestillhere
July 21st, 2010
9:58 am
I’ve been where she’s at. Our 1st date (Out Back) he forgot his wallet, I paid. I didn’t think much about it at the time. He wanted to purchace a 76 TransAm that was sitting in the middle of a field and needed $500.00, so I loaned it to him. My Grandmother died in Texas, so I had to purchase two tickets, because he said he was going too. He didn’t have anything to wear to a funeral, so I when we arrived in Texas, our 1st stop was a Western shop. I must say he looked dashing in his western Jacket and cowboy boots. My kin fell in love with him. Such a charmer!! Anyway, we have been Married today 15 years and I am 1/2 owner of a beautiful restored 1976 white & red TransAm, that he restored his self, 4 wonderful grown Children & 6 darlin Grandchildren. Yep, it all worked it self out. I guess the love over rules money every time as long as God is the leader of your lives.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
9:59 am
@Dreams – id go. i was up front about what i can afford, you made your decision. lets go. but theres a difference between he invites you knowing your financial constraints, and me asking/telling him to take me to the Mediteranean (is that spelld right? lol). one im accepting a generous offer, two im jus ttaking advantage. if she had offered the loan rather than him asking, i think most women would see a difference.
also, would not allow him to get extra “payment for it”. i think most women feel that pressure when dealing with men, the reason Sexy mentioned there being different connotations depending on who was carrying who. if we werent on that level b4 the vaca, dont think now cause you footed the bill we’ve made that leap.
abc
July 21st, 2010
9:59 am
That’s what I was going to say, DM — lots of chicks will get suspicious of a guy who offers an all-expenses-paid couple of weeks in an exotic locale. They’ll think that you want them to be like a paid companion. Better to keep the trips smaller and less expensive, especially if she has determination to pay for her end by herself.
That’ll backfire, though. Men display affection by giving gifts and providing things like that. If you don’t let him do it, he’ll find someone who will.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:06 am
blue, LOL no problem I have said it all on here before. Did some time, got out got a degree and live a better life spiritually,mentally and financially than most who have never face any adversity…so what is their excuse? LOL
I did not know how much money my wife made until a few weeks after we got married, I never cared to ask. Money is not an issue as my job pays me really well, my wife knows I would not care if she worked or not. When we go out sometimes she stops me from paying and pays herself. We both like to shop for clothes and jewelry, and sometimes when we have been out and the total is up there she just pays
I pay the major bills, she does the minor, we both contribute to savings. What is mine is hers and I really believe what is hers is mine. Never been faced with a financial issue as of yet, if it were to come up I do not think that we would look down on each other.One day I just asked her how much is her salary and come to find out she makes more than me. Nothing changed, just in my mind I had an extra level of comfort because I know her spending and saving habits. Not the amount just the habits and her as a person. And she is mine all mine. LOL
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:09 am
Grace, another good point. If I am having sex with a woman I have no problem spending on her.
What women in her right mind would go on a vacation out of the country and not expect that they guy is going to want to have sex, no matter who pays for the trip?
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
10:10 am
Should you disclose the amount of money you are making to someone you have just started dating? Two words: HELL NO!
And, how long has this been a NEW boyfriend. Less than 6 months? Less than 3 months. Buying clothes, paid for vacation, etc. He’s a moocher who happens to need financial help and she’s there for him. She probably feels for him more than he feels for her.
@WD – is there a significant age gap?
Good morning everyone! I just laughed so hard I literally spit on my keyboard over an email about a poster and a cat! I was in a little funk, but this email pulled me right out! Hip Hip Cheerio…..
CoolShadow
July 21st, 2010
10:13 am
I have a question for the lady bloggers:
If you encounter an unemployed man who has an interest in you that lost his as a result of the recession, would you give him consideration assuming he basically met your other first glance criteria? Mind you, I’m talking about men who were productively working prior to being victimized by the economic meltdown and not trifling men who are actually looking for a Sugar Mama.
What would say/do about that scenario?
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
10:14 am
Nothing more sexy than a man doing what he got to do to make it. Nothing more trifling than a man sitting on his hands and allowing the women to do it
well spoken!
Hey ya’ll!
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
10:14 am
Grace – Sex and money are two different currencies…unless you’re exchanging sex for money. Sex has a subjective value. You may decide that your sex (or sex in itself) is more valuable than money. Everybody may not agree with that.
How exactly should a woman rate the value of her sex…to avoid shame of course??
**This reads harsh, but I don’t mean it that way. I’m just trying to get your full take on it.
Teresa
July 21st, 2010
10:14 am
Why would a man ask a woman for money that he has just started a new relationship with?!!! Why would he even be comfortable accepting money from her?!!!! That’s why some men today are like Tyrese from the movie baby boy!!!!!! Girl I would not give him ISH!!!! I been down that road. That’s not your problem that he makes less money than you. YOU have to make the CHOICE to Fugg with that or NOT! Because later on TRUST it will BE and ISSUE! Most men I have dated made less than I, some felt all to comfortable accepting my dough and asking for loans that they NEVER paid back!!!! Then I had the dudes that felt some type of way accepting my dough. Point is know what you want! This situation could result in you feeling neglected and you will begin to resent the situation. Just sayin!
beentherestillhere
July 21st, 2010
10:15 am
abc, I like the way you think!!
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
10:15 am
You don’t loan money to SOs or family members; you give it to them, and if they give some back, fine. If you can’t give it freely, don’t give it at all, and don’t call it a loan
I had a teacher who always said if you can’t afford to lose it don’t loan it.
CoolShadow
July 21st, 2010
10:15 am
Correction: meant “lost his job”…
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
10:16 am
@beentherestillhere ~ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
10:17 am
Good morning!
Very interesting discussion!
Dreams – To your question, it depends. Me personally a few things would factor in, and this is ME talking, not speaking for other women or the average woman. Have we been dating for awhile? I would not feel comfortable accepting it if it’s a new relationship, I don’t care if he’s balling like Jay Z and it’s a drop in the bucket to him. But if we’ve been together say a year, he knows I’m not banking like that, so okay. Not only would I have to feel comfortable leaving the country with him, I need time to come up with at least some spending money so I can at least pay for a meal, contribute something on the trip.
Be back with comments on the topic
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
10:21 am
@PR – whats the degree? will admit, the whole higher learning thing i find interesting, but just cant seem to commit to degree level time, lol.
@Cindy – agreed, times have changed. expecting/demanding that he take care of you seems just unrealistic, selfish, and where is your own self respect to take care of yourself.
now dont get me wrong, do expect you to maintain a decent financial stature, both to actually do what you need to do and to have an ambition to get past whatever is keeping back. but understand there are issues – sudden unemployment, illness, things like that. the military sent mr.blue home with some lovely parting gifts that have limited his employment abilities. for me, that doesnt mean that now hes unworthy cause he cant meet me halfway, its just time for me to pick up the load for a bit, because as PR said “What is mine is hers and I really believe what is hers is mine”
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:23 am
Leggs, how is he a moocher if she bought him clothes and did not ask for them and paid for them to go on a vacation that he did not ask her to go on? If I meet a woman and see something nice I buy it for her and I want to take her on a vacation, I just take her. I do not think that she is a moocher and it would not strike me as odd if I have shown her a lavish lifestyle and she thinks I may have some extra money then she asks me for a small loan. She is the woman I have been gifting, sleeping with and taking out town. Since I laid the ground work that I am spending money, who else would she ask first for money besides me. The woman in the case dug her own grave by setting the spending precedent, she can say no to the loan and she should have never been spending lavish on a budget if it is a problem. LOL
abc
July 21st, 2010
10:24 am
What’s mine is hers and what’s hers is hers. The last thing I’d ever do is let a woman support me. Man, that would be hard! I’d rather live under a bridge in a cardboard box.
Teresa
July 21st, 2010
10:24 am
@ Mrs Tazzee good points!!!!!
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
10:25 am
If you encounter an unemployed man who has an interest in you that lost his as a result of the recession, would you give him consideration assuming he basically met your other first glance criteria?
CoolShadow
I would have to think long and hard about that one, simply because I’ve learned that a man who is worth his weight is not confident when he does not have the means to provide.
I hope that makes sense.
abc
July 21st, 2010
10:26 am
And seriously, per the couple described by the topic, that relationship might as well already be over. She feels like a sugar mama, that means she doesn’t have respect for him. She needs a man of a different type, and he needs a woman of a different type.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
10:26 am
PR, we don’t know if he asked her or not. He could have put a guilt trip on her where she felt she should buy the clothes….moocher!
Natalia
July 21st, 2010
10:26 am
I don’t think he should have asked her for a loan, that alone puts them both in an awkward situation. Also, she needs to ask herself, does she want to live her life supoorting this man, because it’s leaning that way already. Eventually she will start to feel used, trust me I’ve been there!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:27 am
blue,B.S. in Mechanical Engineering
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
10:27 am
Exactly, abc!
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
10:28 am
They will be arguing about money very soon if they aren’t already.
Grace
July 21st, 2010
10:29 am
Luvbug a woman/man should value their body/sex as pricless as it is. You should be as protective with your body as you’re protective with your bank account pocketbook wallet, cell phone, iphone etc etc. Somehow somewhere things have been turned around.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:30 am
Leggs, exactly we don’t know so why do you think he is the guilty party? The guy was working doing his thing and she started doing the extra spending. If he did not have a job I would think he was a moocher. I think she is trying to “upgrade” him to her standards and now has seen the error of her ways or she has met some other guy who has more money and is trying to get with her and she is looking for a reason to leave the blue collar guy alone. She is simple and very dumb, IMO because she DUG her own grave, even if he did ask she should have been woman enough to say “NO” if she felt she could not tell him “NO” and had to spend on him she is even more dumb and she has a long road ahead.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
10:32 am
Carlito,
you are goin in on ole girl today
I’m just waiting for you to say
“she ought not have started spending”
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:33 am
Save before you spend, have a minimum of 3 years worth of bills saved up. It is not that hard to do, IMO. Base everything off of one income, do not give what you can not stand to lose to anyone and always have a backup plan, keep your resume updated.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:37 am
Princess, lol I should have said that. LOL. Some are saying the guy is in the wrong, If she would not have started spending, it would not have been an issue. She could have not bought clothes, she could have said no to a loan. She has a pattern of doing stuff for this guy whether he asked her to or not. She paid for a vacation, who does that? Was it someone she wanted to go and did not want to go by herself so she paid his way? It is funny to me how a woman can be all into a man, then some problem arises and he is now the bad guy, she laid down with him, she bought him “GIFTS” and she is still with him. But yet he is the bad guy, he must be doing something right to have her doing all of that stuff, sending a topic to Wise Diva and still with the guy pondering what she should do. She needs to grow up and be a responsible adult and stop trying to “buy” a man.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
10:39 am
simply because I’ve learned that a man who is worth his weight is not confident when he does not have the means to provide.
Princess – I’ve learned this too.
I cannot respect a man that is too “comfortable” in a situation such as Wise’s friend. Just as I’m so not comfortable if it were me and the situation were reversed. Unless it’s a bday or Christmas gift or we were married, I’m not comfortable with a guy buying me clothes like he’s gotta take me “back to school” shopping or something!LOL! I’m a grown woman and can buy my own clothes. If I’m broke but need an interview suit or a dress for a special occasion, I know how to hustle, find bargains, go to consignment shops.
It’s a pride thing and maybe my pride is to my detriment, I don’t know. But borrowing from my man is the absolute last resort. Just recently I had some unexpected expenses come up at home. I’ve been bringing my lunch and hustling the last month and I’m finally out of the woods. Although I know my man would help me, I’ve taken care of it on my own. I expect any MAN I deal with to be the same way.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
10:40 am
@PR – interesting study. silly me over here, finished my course to get my MCSE, cant get the guts to take the cert exam, i can be a big woosie sometimes…..lol
@CoolShadow – id have to think on that, guess partly it would depend on his level of ambition to find something new now that he’d been laid off.
@abc – agreed. that lack of respect, from either side, is a killer. doesnt sound like either of them have much respect for the other….
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:41 am
If I am dating you, I am not buying you a car, I am not paying your bills. I may buy you some groceries if we are at the point when we are intimate, I will even keep your car washed and grass cut. But if you open your mouth to “ask” me for some money, I will start to end the dating. If I get you “gifts” those are just gifts, I expect nothing back from her.
MusingLee
July 21st, 2010
10:41 am
Morning All,
I would never ask to borrow money from some chick I’m dating. My wife makes more than I do and I still don’t ask her for anything.
Mrs. Musing: Baby why don’t we go shopping and get you some new shorts?
Musing: What are you talking about? I’ve had these pants for 3 years!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:42 am
kimmie,
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:44 am
Who sent the topic in? It says a reader.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
10:44 am
If I get you “gifts” those are just gifts, I expect nothing back from her
Carlito, that’s how I feel also.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
10:49 am
I don’t think you have to have “the talk” to gauge how much a person makes when dating. Point-blank finance talk should be had only if you are about to shack or get married. Before that there are ways you can gauge not only the range of money one might be making, but how they are managing it.
Look at the obvious – living situation – home, apartment, living with roommates or family. Type & age of car driven or are they riding Marta. Expensive or bargain clothing and jewelry. Neighborhood they live in, fancy tv’s and furniture, college degree or GED, type of job they have. Do they eat out often or live on ramen noodles? What type of dates do they suggest? Concerts at Chastain and dinners at Bones or matinee movies and coffee?
Of course there are exceptions – they could have inherited money or jewelry and they may have a fancy car but it’s paid for, etc.
If one is observant and listens to their head and not the heart so much, they can find out quite a bit and have few surprises.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
10:52 am
@Grace…she gave him money and bought him clothes coz the johnson was daaaamn good!
No woman buys a man clothes unless they are getting flipped right and their brains are in a maze.
@Dreams…yeah,she aint a sugar mama at all. Shes just an average woman whose man is handling hiz damn bizz in the bed. Thats standard behavior there from a woman who has (hopefully) temporarily,lost her daamn mind.
Morning folks!
Grace
July 21st, 2010
10:52 am
Purple if i ask you to buy me a car, you’re going to buy me a car! sugadaddy
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:54 am
Grace, yes a Hot Wheels Car that is on sale at Target for $0.99
Grace
July 21st, 2010
10:55 am
Melo that johnson might have been good but not good enough to keep paying for
Grace
July 21st, 2010
10:57 am
Purple will it be rolling on dubs??
RT
July 21st, 2010
10:57 am
This is why younger men and older women or “cougars” if you like – should have sex but not date!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:58 am
She has tasted a new johnson with cash benefits and needs to get rid of the old johnson that she has been spending on. LOL
The same thing you did to get a person will be the same thing you have to do to keep them. LOL
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
10:58 am
i love hot wheels!!!!
i like the little tiny monster trucks, lol….
alrite, we are in the office, you’re wearing headphones, i should not be able to hear your music from 3 cubes away. and i dont like country
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
10:59 am
Grace, it will have all of the accessories that is included in the $0.99 price. LOL
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:00 am
Look at the obvious – living situation – home, apartment, living with roommates or family. Type & age of car driven or are they riding Marta. Expensive or bargain clothing and jewelry. Neighborhood they live in, fancy tv’s and furniture, college degree or GED, type of job they have. Do they eat out often or live on ramen noodles? What type of dates do they suggest? Concerts at Chastain and dinners at Bones or matinee movies and coffee?
Kimmie
What you said is true, but at the same time, some people live above their means and have you thinking they are “balling” when they are swimming in debt. On the flipside, you might think someone is making little money, but they just believe in living within or below their means.
Elijah ( Today is a good day!)
July 21st, 2010
11:01 am
Good Morning Everybody!
It is hot out here,yes it tis.
I agree with most of the comments oh girl either has done this before or he hit it real good. Men should always be prepared financially when dating. If you are not prepared spend time trying to get prepared. Try to build up reserves for bills and dating.
Mr. PurpleRain why in all your post you got to have sex with the lady first before you give something to her? If she does not give you sex on the first or 2 date will you not pay for the date?
Kimmie sweet beautiful sista, it is o.k. to allow your so to assist you sometimes. See, I would pay close attention to what you might need, I can assist your stubborn self. I know you have a lot of pride but because I believe you would give me some much it would be my pleasure to put a smile on your beautiful face.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
11:02 am
In the topic story, if it were me, – I don’t “dress” grown men, “take” them on vacations and unless we’re in line at the store and you are $5 short until we get home my name is not Wachovia.
Money is a sensitive issue. Some people associate it with power. I’ve dated where I made more than the guy, but we still did it within his means, where we both felt comfortable with what was being shared. It’s uncomfortable expecting one party to live a SIGNIFICANTLY different lifestyle in order to date the other, whether it means living the high life or scraping the bottom of the barrel. That’s where issues of power start coming into play.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:02 am
The Beyonce song “Upgrade You”, it was cool to upgrade a guy when it was out. LOL But before that she had a song about a guy paying her Bills Bills Bills. LOL
Melo
July 21st, 2010
11:04 am
How does she handle this without ruining the relationship?
@Grace…that johnson might have been good but not good enough to keep paying for
but see how the johnson is wrecking her brains apart….she wants to solve the problem without losing it(him-relationship)
the man is still the same man she got,the only problem is he has a good dycck.
The man shld do nothing in my view.. he shld continue maintaining his lyfe on his own terms…..the way he was be4 she czme on the scene…
I applaud him,at least he has a skill even tho its not apparent to the naked eye of every woman except the one he is laying with.
Good dizzle counts for something!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:04 am
Mr Elijah, because I do not have sex right off of the bat, dating is dating and that involves many women, relationships are different than dating IMO. I have been known to wait a long time and I did say that I give “gifts” and expect nothing in return. It’s just how you read it.
abc
July 21st, 2010
11:04 am
I can’t say I’m completely unsympathetic to the man in the topic though. I know that I found myself in a position where my girl was having to support me, whether due to injury or whatever kind of misfortune, I’d have a really, really hard time with it. If I wasn’t able to recover from the personal financial malaise for some reason, I can only imagine how difficult it would be for me. It’s almost like it’s a character flaw in me or something. I don’t know how I’d be able to reconcile myself to it.
When I transitioned careers from the arts to technology, for a year or so my (now ex-) wife made a little more than I did. She told me about it pretty often, and told other people about it all the time! It was if it was both a point of pride for her and, in her view and everyone else’s, a point of shame for me. I came to resent that quite a bit. After a couple years I was making twice what she did, but even still, money was a problem between us from then on.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
11:06 am
@pr ~ not only do I think he’s the guilty party, but I also think she’s guilty as well. She’s having misgivings about all she’s done, so she’s the fool. If you’re uncomfortable helping out your SO, then don’t do it. Also, being uncomfortable lends me to think they’re not a match for each other anyway.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
11:07 am
it is o.k. to allow your so to assist you sometimes.
Elijah my love, it is something I am truly working on and I do admit I have gotten better! Part of it though, is me not wanting him to take up the slack for my poor planning. If I had managed my money a little better, I would have been better prepared for emergencies. Gotta be ADULT about the situation. We talked about it though.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:08 am
But before that she had a song about a guy paying her Bills Bills Bills.
Carlito
If you listent to the words of that song, she is only asking him to pay the bills HE ran up
…now you been maxing out my cards, giving me bad credit buying me gifts with my own ends..haven’t paid the first bill but ya steady heading to the mall….and then you use my cell phone, calling whoever that you thinks at home…
I’m just saying
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:10 am
Leggs, they are both lost, IMO
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
11:10 am
seems to me its time for one of those “tough conversations”……be interesting to see if he avoids it……..
Grace
July 21st, 2010
11:12 am
she wants to solve the problem without losing it(him-relationship) you nailed it on the head.
CoolShadow
July 21st, 2010
11:12 am
Look at the obvious – living situation – home, apartment, living with roommates or family. Type & age of car driven or are they riding Marta. Expensive or bargain clothing and jewelry. Neighborhood they live in, fancy tv’s and furniture, college degree or GED, type of job they have. Do they eat out often or live on ramen noodles? What type of dates do they suggest? Concerts at Chastain and dinners at Bones or matinee movies and coffee?
Some people can “front” a lifestyle thus it might take a minute to figure that out, especially if you have a life and engage in other activities without them and they’re not always around. If they’re sustaining said lifestyle via credit and then start looking to you for support, it’s time to jet.
Conversely, there are people who have resources but choose to live a conservative lifestyle as it relates to materialism. A man/woman living with family at first glance may possibly be a turnoff until you discover that they moved in to help support a parent or family with hardships, not because of an inability to be self-sustaining.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:12 am
Princess, give me your credit card so I can buy you something and let me borrow your cell phone also. LOL, yep nothing wrong with her either. LOL Who does that? Dummies.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
11:14 am
@Princess – lmao, exactly.
their my bills cause i was the one with the good credit to get the card, phone whatever, and now your running em all up. i dont know a ray-ray jones in pheonix, and i sure as he!! aint call him! i dont shop at big ‘n tall, so this shyt has got to be yours! wasnt asking for support, was asking u to cover your shyt.
2 different things.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
11:16 am
Princess – You are so right about folks “faking it” and having you think they are balling when they are not. Not bragging, but I’m pretty good at deciphering fakers though. You have to be VERY observant. I also recognize “real” when it’s trying to be incognito.
Things have to add up and alot of times we get so caught up we miss the obvious.
abc
July 21st, 2010
11:17 am
Regarding family support, I’ve told my parents and hers that when the time comes they’re welcome at our house, but we aren’t moving into their place. Sorry, they’ll just have to clear out of the old homestead and deal with our world. Kind of a role reversal when contrasted with our childhoods. I have some friends that have moved back to their parents’ homes though, in order to take better care of them. It’s a sacrifice, but is the correct thing to do.
Lord knows when that time comes for me, I seriously doubt my own kids will step up! I hope it doesn’t come to that.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:17 am
Carlito,
I’m just saying LOL, maybe she didn’t give him the card maybe he “borrowed” it and the cell phone.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
11:18 am
@PR ~ Tyrone and his friends would do that.
SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.
July 21st, 2010
11:19 am
I do have this one observation.
So, it was cool for her to *flash* her money, UNTIL he ASKED for some of it?
Sandra
July 21st, 2010
11:20 am
I see nothing wrong with buying a shirt or two as gifts around birthdays or holidays like Christmas. If she is talking about just going out buying the man clothes because he needs them, I don’t know about that. He wasn’t naked when she met him. I buy my boyfriend shirts on his birthday. Of course when we first started dating, he offerred me money that I was afraid to take because I hadn’t started sleeping with him and was trying to hold out until marriage. I think a loan isn’t that big of a deal. If my man wanted to borrow two hundred dollars, I would lend it to him in a minute. He has borrowed and paid me back. The key was I started borrowing first or he asked me to borrow instead of getting money from these check cashing folks. We make almost the same. I think I make a few hundred dollars more per week than he does but you wouldn’t know it. He manages his money much better than me and has a 19 year-old to take care of who just graduated from high school. I plan on making more in the future and he does too. I think you can tell if someone is trying to drain you or if they are committed to you and just needs some help.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:20 am
dont know a ray-ray jones in pheonix, and i sure as he!! aint call him!
Blue
CLASSIC
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:22 am
So what you all are saying is that women let guys ruin their credit by giving them access to their credit cards and bank accounts. LOL, that’s stupid.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
11:22 am
A man/woman living with family at first glance may possibly be a turnoff until you discover that they moved in to help support a parent or family with hardships, not because of an inability to be self-sustaining.
Cool Shadow – This was true of one of the best educated and wealthiest guys I knew. His dad made good money too, but his mom had passed and his sister was ill on and off. He stayed with them until he moved out when he got married.
I like your whole post and you are absolutely right. What I’m saying is notice the surface, obvious stuff but then look BEYOND it. What you FIND is the information you need to make a good decision.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:24 am
So what you all are saying is that women let guys ruin their credit by giving them access to their credit cards and bank accounts
Carlito
Correction SOME WOMEN
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:26 am
I have missed out, I could have done a few things differently in the past. LOL
abc
July 21st, 2010
11:27 am
It seems to me that if a woman’s credit and bank balances get trashed by a man who either steals her cards, phone, etc. or one to whom she provides these things willingly, then she shows a serious lack of judgment and discernment. The man is a scumbag loser, for sure, but failure to recognize him as such is almost as big a failing.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
11:28 am
@PR – that is true for some women – continute listening to teh song
You triflin’,good for nothing type of brother
Silly me,why haven’t I found another
but now why did she let him use all those things –
At first we started out real cool,(cool)
Taking me places i ain’tnever been
But now your getting comfortable
Ain’t doing those things that you did no more
Your slowly makin me pay for things
Your money should be handling
so he starts out holding up his end of the deal, and when it looks like he may need some help, shes willing to cause he was holding it up b4. now hes sitting back with is feet going girly got it, and shes done.
whoda thought a destinys child song mite have redemptive value……
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:29 am
Blue
yesssssssssss!
catlady
July 21st, 2010
11:31 am
Been there. Done that. Big mistake. Husband was a moocher and a chissler. Divorced after 18 years of it. Waited 14 years. Started seeing a man who did not like to spend my money but could get over his discomfort. I got tired of that. Now he does not ask.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:31 am
The man is a scumbag loser, for sure, but failure to recognize him as such is almost as big a failing.
@ abc, i agree, at some point those type of issues cannot be chalked up to “youth”, you a grown @zz man/woman know your worth.
Apollonia
July 21st, 2010
11:31 am
Okay – this conversation has really got me really appreciating my man right now.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
11:35 am
Cool Shadow – Another thing I’m afraid of is someone that might be financing a lifestyle illegally. I’ve actually come across that a few times and once I got whiff of it had noting more to do with them. They weren’t living off any credit at all, but where you keep getting those big STACKS of money? Are you stealing, selling drugs, embezzeling, etc?
So I’m really not impressed with all your fancy possessions unless I’m reasonably sure you came about them honorably.
CoolShadow
July 21st, 2010
11:37 am
It seems to me that if a woman’s credit and bank balances get trashed by a man who either steals her cards, phone, etc. or one to whom she provides these things willingly, then she shows a serious lack of judgment and discernment.
That behavior usually smacks of a woman has low self-esteem and/or is afraid of being alone and extends her credit and resources as a means of acceptance and might even ignore red flags– until her credit is thrashed by him.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:38 am
So I’m really not impressed with all your fancy possessions unless I’m reasonably sure you came about them honorably.
Kimmie
AMEN! Not to mention that fast money mentality is a doozie to deal with.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:39 am
blue, she lacks good decision making skills. LOL
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
11:39 am
Apollonia – Not only appreciating my man, but appreciating our “partnership”. There is respect and no one is trying to take advantage of the other. So when one is truly in need of help, we got each other covered.
Grace
July 21st, 2010
11:40 am
@ Apollonia
Melo
July 21st, 2010
11:43 am
this conversation has really got me really appreciating my man right now
Apollonia??
coz u drowing in his mula,sponging off his money??
most women luv to spend men money.
CoolShadow
July 21st, 2010
11:45 am
@kimmie
Your 11:35 post makes a valid point. Not a good look to be recognized from being caught on surveillance tape rather than your Facebook page.
Jay
July 21st, 2010
11:48 am
What the hell is wrong with American women? They eat all day and a lot of them are as stout as linebackers. What is so attractive about a woman with 30″ thighs?
—
The heffer must not be his equal that is why she needs to do whatever he asks to retain the man. She dated way beyond her league.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:49 am
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
11:49 am
@PR – shes making the decision, in teh song anyway, “get the @#$% out”, lol
@kimmmie – good point. dont need presents from you, only to be arrested for receiving stolen goods.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:51 am
Romance with no finance is a nuisance. LOL
Broke people should date broke people, and there should be know intermingling of classes. broke for broke, entry level for entry level..etc LOL
abc
July 21st, 2010
11:52 am
America is getting fatter no matter the gender. Old Roy and Karen on the AJC front page this morning (actual paper, that is) look like a couple of oinkers. Great leadership — double and triple sized candidates is almost like getting 2 for the price of 1.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:53 am
Carlito!!!!!
OTC
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
11:53 am
blue, she should have caught it before it got out of hand. How can a man spot a gold digger so quickly then just relegate her to “sex only” for a fee but yet a woman misses out on a gold digging man and still falls in love then has to fall out of love. LOL, us men have this being used thing down to a science. HEY!! Is that my horse coming this way? LOL
SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.
July 21st, 2010
11:54 am
Co-sign blue730.
I have a friend of a friend whose boyfriend is into some activity that causes me to turn down any and every invitation to their house or to hang out with them period.
No use in me having to deal with legal fees because THEY got raided while I was at their cookout.
Apollonia
July 21st, 2010
11:55 am
coz u drowing in his mula,sponging off his money??
No, because like Kimmie said, “appreciating our “partnership”. There is respect and no one is trying to take advantage of the other. So when one is truly in need of help, we got each other covered
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:59 am
Carlito
don’t act like no dudes fall in love with gold digging women, come on son!
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
11:59 am
yet a woman misses out on a gold digging man and still falls in love then has to fall out of love.
Purple – A lot of people “play” blind to the obvious. That’s what happens when you compromise too much of yourself just to have a man, any piece of a man. Yeah, she’s got a “man” alright. She knew up front what she was getting into but now it’s “awkward”. It would have awkward from jump to me. That’s why I have a major problem respecting a man who would feel comfortable in that kind of situation.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
11:59 am
Lunch time! I’ll be back!
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
11:59 am
@PrincessNik ~ if the woman gives her boyfried her credit card and her cellphone, he didn’t ruin her credit, SHE DID!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:01 pm
Leggs, 11:59 I could not have said it better. LOL, here take my horse for a spin. LOL
Princess, but men know what it is whens he is a gold digger and they don’t mind paying the fee, women act surprised. LOL
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
12:01 pm
SCool – Your 11:54 – wonder if we know the same people?!LOL!!
I know what you mean, and I’m not getting caught in the crossfire!
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
12:02 pm
heres a question, while we’re talking about finances, for the men folk out there.
it was mentioned about an unemployed mans confidence. while your also talking about a woman who can hold her own and isnt expecting to get to spend your money. so your with a woman, dating, married, whatever, at a time in yuor life where you need some help. she doesnt make an issue of your finances, no harping on when are you gonna pull your weight, she either says “no worries babe, we’re in this together” and handles it, or she just handles it without a word. you’ve got a woman who is a)willing to work and not be ms.spoiled diva, b)not trying to make you feel inferior, and c)is doing what needs to be done. so why do so many of you now act as if she has thrown off the balance, shes the problem?
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
12:05 pm
Grace – Priceless? To some maybe, to others maybe not. Hopefully the two folks getting it on are both on the same page with that one…but if (by chance) it’s saved for bidding, then the value becomes clear…it’s worth whatever the income (status and other attributes) of the guy the woman is having sex with. Sex as a commodity may no longer be a good look for women…if it ever was.
I wish I had time to read the blog today.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
12:07 pm
@PR – men know a golddigger when they see one? really.
for all those Boondocks people, let me remind you of the episode where Granddad moved the trick in house, talking about how in love they were, the whole while Riley is screaming “she a hoe granddad”.
Huey runs down the check list while you see Granddad having flashbacks:
1)can she run real fast in high heels?
2)does she always wanna go shopping?
3)does she run from police?
4)does she hide when dude in a purple suit walks in?
and Granddads flashbacks show she meets all criteria, but their in love. he didnt admit it till A Pimp Named Slickback showed up to gather his “merchandise”
Kym
July 21st, 2010
12:09 pm
Afternoon all,
Neither a borrower nor a lender be..In a relationship. I am not sure if y’all still on topic but
I think ole girl set herself up. Like I said the other day…you finish how you start.
You start out giving presents and gifts you have to keep it up. No need to act brand new now.
She knew the deal going in.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
12:10 pm
blue – One of my best friend’s is in that very situation you described with her husband. In her case, hubby WALKED AWAY from a good paying job, without another lined up and he was the breadwinner! She had been a stayathome mom(his request). So, she tries to be understanding, does what needs to be done and gets out & hustles and gets a temp job & then a permanent one – been carrying the family for 6 months now. He has shown his behind this whole 6 months, nothing she does is right! He just got a very good new job, but she says he’s still tripping a little. I’ve never heard her complain or speak ill of him, but for the first time, she actually mentioned the D word a few months back.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
12:10 pm
so why do so many of you now act as if she has thrown off the balance, shes the problem?
blue-7/30 ??
thrown off balance how…..??
in that scenario,either the man has low self esteem broght about by his stuation or he does not and recognizes the value an support of his girlfriend/wife and keeps on plugging along untill his situation is resolved.
what is ur qstion blue-7/30 ??
abc
July 21st, 2010
12:11 pm
While I’ve known a few men that have found themselves in that position, blue, none had women who exhibited the behavior you describe. One guy had a struggle in the early 80’s with money and his wife pulled up the slack for about a year, and he still hears about it regularly. And that’s around 30 years ago! He’ll be hearing about it until he’s in the grave.
It might conflict with so-called modern and contemporary lifestyles and all, but a man that doesn’t provide still catches hell for it, just because that’s life. I’d say there’s no such thing as a man who has to rely on a woman for support, and the woman and everyone else doesn’t beat him down about it.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:12 pm
blue, that is a cartoon. He was an old man and had not other options but a gold digger, that was a cartoon. LOL . I can’t answer your other question, I have never been in that situation and if I hit a bad spell, I can always move back and work on the farm and make money.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
12:15 pm
and the woman and everyone else doesn’t beat him down about it.
@abc??
u are right…when they are doing some in the house,at some point somebody outside has to know…
i bet her mama will know and some of her friends will know..they all talk too much…
SHE: yeah Sherry girl I cant go out with you guys today since i have to put in some overtime at work, uall know im handling the bills here since my husband quit his job and his azz is at home……”
she has to find a way to say it somehow so she feels better!
and thats the problem.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:16 pm
abc, some women tend to hold things forever. LOL, if I started to struggle I think my pride would prevent me from asking for help even though I know she would. I would just do something to handle business no matter the sacrifice rather than ask for help from my wife. LOL
abc
July 21st, 2010
12:17 pm
Yeah man. I’d cut off my arm and sell it if that’d keep me from being in a position of being financially beholden to a woman.
It's me....lurker
July 21st, 2010
12:19 pm
Cool Shadow’s 10:13
Absolutely. Given the fact though, him being a good man and all and just down and out due to the recession will resonate. If he’s a bum, the bum will come through. If he’s a good man fallen on hard times, that won’t change his character….he’ll be resourceful and too prideful (still with no job) to bum off you. You’ll know if he’s truly down and out or if he’s perpitrating and just an undercover bum.
SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.
July 21st, 2010
12:19 pm
blue – P-Lito – Real life example – Anna Nicole Smith.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:20 pm
Let alone make a wrong turn and she knew you missed the turn and always bringing it up…..can’t imagine “asking” for money. LOL
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:21 pm
SecxyCool, I agree, I hope he knew she was a gold digger. I think after a certain age some men just don’t care as long as they are getting their limp wrinkled pecker tended to. LOL
It's me....lurker
July 21st, 2010
12:21 pm
from my 12:19….we’ll be dating and doing crafty, thoughtful things. All events calling for money will simple have to wait. He can come over and cook, we can do walks in the parks, I’ll help with his resume but nothing involving cash or spending will come up.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
12:24 pm
@melo – i guess my question is, as in kimmies example, why does she now become the target of your insecurities, rather than you showing appreciation for her understanding, support and solidarity?
@abc – that is unfortunate. i guess its experiences like that that make it harder for us good women out there. but ?, what exactly is catching hell. strictly “when are you gonna get a job ” (agreed there, if he is trying at least) or “well, we are kind strapped for cash at the moment, so no, sorry you cant head out with the boys this week”. cause have seen the good gal catch it for both
@PR – cartoon yes, but as we’ve all commented b4, a comment on life. that type of thing happens to men also, granted for different reasons at times than women. doubt men are as upset by the constant “when you come home for holidays you always come alone, when are you gonna find a nice ____”. but they have other reasons than sex for keeping a woman around who may not be the best for them, and sometimes they arent the first ones to see it, their friends and family are.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:27 pm
blue, and I am saying most men know what it is and do not mind it. In some men’s mind we are paying regardless if it is a hooker picked up from the corner that we are paying for the hours we are with her or if its a girlfriend, wife, FWB we are paying. SO some men have accepted the fact that there are a few things that are certain in life. Death, taxes and a woman is going to cost you money somewhere along the line. Yep, that is my horse, move your little pony. LOL
Melo
July 21st, 2010
12:31 pm
why does she now become the target of your insecurities, rather than you showing appreciation for her understanding, support and solidarity?
@blue-7/30??
the mouf..!!
the women’s mouf is one of the most corrosive thing ever invented by God. The puddsy will come in close second.
a man’s self esteem lowers even more when he is being scorched at home by the woman’s mouf.
There is nothing as demeaning to a man as having his bizz told to every possible relative/close friends u can think of by his woman and him being demeaned at home.
Kym
July 21st, 2010
12:34 pm
Hookers and wives the same? Did I miss something in these post?
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
12:36 pm
@PR – DO NOT INSULT THE PONY…hes fragile….let Leggs watch him, she and lil leggs gave him spagetti, who gives a pony spagetti? had to get him new shoes last week, they hurt his wittle feet……lol
men have accepted some facts. women have accepted some as well, life is pain and compromise, we are still referred to as “the lesser sex” no matter how strong we actually are, and their johnson is the center of any mans life
@melo – do you men not talk to your boys/closest relative(mom, sister, brother whatever) about your woman and/or relationship?
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:37 pm
Kym, LOL sweet Ebony Brown. blue, did you see that episode?
I believe after a certain age, 80 years old+ it is better for a man to have a hooker rather than wife a hooker. Oh heck it doesn’t matter as long as the viagra is kicking in, because death will soon be knocking. LOL
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:39 pm
blue, I do not believe that men share intimate details of relationships. Maybe broad issues but not intimately with someone close. They may just remain anonymous on a blog. LOL
It's me....lurker
July 21st, 2010
12:40 pm
Can we get this bottled?
ABC – Yeah man. I’d cut off my arm and sell it if that’d keep me from being in a position of being financially beholden to a woman.
SlimOne
July 21st, 2010
12:44 pm
Mayne it’s so dayum hot! So what’s this I hear about paying the wife with the hookers money?
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
12:45 pm
PR – dont think so, what was that one?
Kym
July 21st, 2010
12:45 pm
I saw that episode PR. I also Sunday’s with Grandpa on the weed
too funny!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:46 pm
Silm, I need you to be my wife or hooker. Give me your credit cards and cell phone along with access to your bank accounts. I need you to buy me gifts and pay for our vacation. This is not a reflection on you because you are perfectly sane. It is just me. LOL
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:48 pm
Kym, grandpa on the weed was funny. LOL
Melo
July 21st, 2010
12:50 pm
do you men not talk to your boys/closest relative about your woman and/or relationship?
@blue-7/30??
to my guy friends,all u women are the same..that is the extend that we talk..nothing specifics about whats going on tween the two of us…
to my mum.sisters or brothers..NO…the moment i tell them whats going on and thats negative on ur(my woman) part ,they take it as gospel and in their mind,my woman is this that and the other..even after we have resolved our differences..so thats a No..Never!
the only person(s) that I could tell whats bothering me and proly str8 up is my Dad( coz like me,he regards women as the same and wld give me advice thats str8 coz he dealt with my mum too) and or my or ur close auntie(dad’s sister) or ur auntie that ur close to/ with and is more of a parent_teacher kinda with u(not ur mummy).
My dad wld never hold what i told him about u negatively if hes a real dad.
siblings and friends are a no go as far as ur issues tween u and wife are concerned…
Ur buddies can easily become ur enemies too so u have to be careful, what u tell them..always!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:51 pm
People hold grudges even when you have forgiven the person you were talking to them about. Best to keep your personal business private.
IDK
July 21st, 2010
12:54 pm
What if the man had been the one treating his SO to shopping sprees, expensive excursions and five-star hotels, and decided to ask her for money and/or assistance? Could it be a test or an actual need…do men try to gauge whether a woman is interested in them (by helping) or just what they have to offer at the time?
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
12:55 pm
Like if the people that today’s topic end up having a great relationship. Some of us are going to continue to think that she is crazy or that he is a moocher or both. LOL
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
1:10 pm
I don’t thing the guy is a moocher…he WORKS. I just think, because he makes significantly less, he can’t afford the lifestyle that she wants them to have.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
1:15 pm
Dreams, I agree with you
SlimOne
July 21st, 2010
1:18 pm
Prain – and what would I be getting out of the deal again?…some bangin dizzle?
Melo
July 21st, 2010
1:19 pm
She is with him the same way Opprah is with Steadman
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
1:21 pm
Slim, that’s all I have to offer. LOL
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
1:25 pm
Dreams
what’s the drink special today
Wet Wednesday
July 21st, 2010
1:28 pm
With their lips still locked, Billie somehow managed to find her keys and open her apartment door. They stumbled onto the couch, passionately tearing off each other’s clothes as they went. Jay laid down on top of her, covering her soft, curvy body with his strong, lean one. He slipped his hand between her thighs and felt her grow wet beneath his fingers. He ran his tongue along her body and flicked it inside of her. She uttered a low groan. Boldly she grabbed his face and pushed him into her most sensitive spots. Jay continued to run his tongue against her until Billie couldn’t stand it anymore. “Take me now, Jay,” she panted desperately. Jay pressed his chest against her heaving breasts. Billie gasped as he slid just the top of himself into her. Then, he sunk in deeper and deeper until her body ached with anticipation.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
1:34 pm
ogghhhhhhhhhhhhh…..oooghhhhhhhhhhh
I tore the zipper portion of my pants!
SlimOne
July 21st, 2010
1:34 pm
PP – well I regret to inform you that we are not currently accepting any New Dizzle applicates right now. However, we will keep your submission on file for the next 30 days.
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
1:36 pm
Princess what’s good? Today’s drink is my own new concoction called “Show Me the Money”. It’s a delicate but potent mixture of top shelf liquors. One glass is $54. If a dude/chick buys you one of these, it’s a clear sign they have money for you to spend.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
1:38 pm
Slim, but you can write a song or book about us not making it. LOL
Dreams, give me two of those and put it on Slim’s tab.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
1:45 pm
If a dude/chick buys you one of these, it’s a clear sign they have money for you to spend
IDK
July 21st, 2010
1:45 pm
Hello All. (forgive me for not following protocol) How rude of me to enter your blog w/o acknowledging this dynamic bunch!
Back on topic:
Do you think it’s harder for the wealthy or those less fortunate to find mates?
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
1:48 pm
I think it is harder for the wealthy to find mates.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
1:48 pm
IDK
I would say the wealthy, because if they are known to be wealthy, they probably have a hard time determining if the person is there for the love or for the money.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
1:50 pm
enter your blog w/o acknowledging this dynamic bunch!
@IDK…that will always attract somebody’s attn….Why,u feeling too much wind around u..empty room or u heard ur echo..??
you think it’s harder for the wealthy or those less fortunate to find mates
ur qstion dont make sense to me!
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
1:57 pm
Desk lunch…
Great convo so far. I’m all late but…
Dreams – I would let him pay if we were serious.
Kimmie – Yeah, things are not always what they seem. A guy could be living above means on the family dime. I don’t count family money as his. It usually counts against a guy when you can tell that the guy is including unearned income and spending as such. Granted he may likely have more than average later (better opportunities/resources for future earns) or easy access to family funds, but spending beyond what you see in the moment is a character trait that’s usually flagged.
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
2:06 pm
Dreams, give me two of those and put it on Slim’s tab.
PRain that’s the ticket. way to find yourself a sponsor. lol
think i’ll pass, don’t want anyone getting the wrong ideas, lemme have something light and fruity, what do you suggest?
Princess ok how ’bout a baby sip for $2? lol
IDK
July 21st, 2010
2:08 pm
Could someone tell me why women are so quick to turn their heads (and look down) on a man that makes less or doesn’t have a job, but will put up with a wealthy man that may take their love for granted? We know the former will probably make her look like a *Sugar Mama* to the outside world (esp. friends/family), even though the man may have their best interest at heart, prepares meals, treats her like a queen, and puts it down in the bed (that’s for u, Melo) while looking for employment and hustling on the side. And the latter can surely supply all of her needs til the well runs dry or he decides to move on to a younger version…lol
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
2:09 pm
how ’bout a baby sip for $2?
dreams
reminds me of when Chris Rock used to do that sketch “good lawd that’s a lot of money, what can i get for __ ?” LOL
at any rate a baby sip won’t do today, gimme the best bang for my blog buck
abc
July 21st, 2010
2:15 pm
Because, IDK, a woman’s strongest need is for security, and financial security trumps emotional security from a practical point of view.
Conversely, when a man is given a choice of a women, one wealthy and one not, he’ll most likely choose the one with the biggest t1ts!
Human nature, gotta love it.
LURKER (I want some of dat)
July 21st, 2010
2:15 pm
SHOW me the MONEY!!!!! YESSSS
Women give up that moneyto your man….If she got it spread it around and have a good time doing it.
Mr. Lurker is somewhat of a player like that W8 dude…..The women luv to buy me clothes, take me on trips etc…..That because they know Mr. Lurker will give them give diesel….YES….
You women are selfish talking bout buying your guy a shirt ot tie around his birthday…Lurker would kick you to the curb…..Your Puddy is not golden…It has been access and downloaded by other users therefore it is not special…….YEAHHHHH
If you got money it is easier to find a woman….Well maybe not broke dudes are breaking in puddy all the time. YESSSSS in fact quite a few of you women have support broke dudes in the past, they were lunching on the food and the puddy….A win,win for everybody….Except when you needed to have that talk about when are you going to pay a bill around here!
Melo
July 21st, 2010
2:17 pm
Could someone tell me why women are so quick to turn their heads (and look down) on a man that makes less or doesn’t have a job
@IDK
becoz diamonds(or the appearance of them) are a woman’s best friend.
A man with diamonds and puts it down in bed = PRICELESS(man to die for) to a woman
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
2:20 pm
Could someone tell me why women are so quick to turn their heads (and look down) on a man that makes less or doesn’t have a job, but will put up with a wealthy man that may take their love for granted?
I don’t know why some women do this IDK, but the same may be said about men when it comes to women and beauty (physical or that other one).
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
2:20 pm
We know the former will probably make her look like a *Sugar Mama* to the outside world (esp. friends/family),
IDK – This is key in your post. A real woman don’t give a ish about what others are saying. I know I don’t, but I will acknowledge it took some growth and maturity to get here. In any case, unless one of those “family/friends” is paying my bills, they don’t have any say cause I’m grown.
Plus, I don’t care how nice dude is or how helpful, if he has no ambition or hustle to pull himself out of his unemployed or low-pay position, is a slacker, how can anybody look at him with any respect? If he’s out there busting his hump and trying but just hasn’t caught a break, then bump whomever looks down on him. Anybody could find themselves in the same situation.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
2:20 pm
still doing poor man/rich man?
and can i get one of those drinks? cause ol’ girl over her with loud azz headphones is gonna drive me crazy…..
kent
July 21st, 2010
2:22 pm
do any WASP’s write on these blogs?
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
2:26 pm
@blue ~ I ran out of food and when I saw him heeing and hawing at the spaghetti I have it to him.
Also, turn up Shelia E and air drum the song to her with your teeth clenched. She’ll get the point.
@Wet Wednesday ~ don’t know why no one acknowledged your post, but that was good!
Women will let a man with money belittle her or even ignore her because financially, she feels more secure. I do not see the need to look down on a man because he makes less than I do, esp. knowing this when I went into the relationship. If we work together, fine. If I see him continually eyeing my purse, we have a problem.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
2:28 pm
Leggs
If we work together, fine. If I see him continually eyeing my purse, we have a problem.
^5
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
2:31 pm
@kent – whats a WASP?
@Leggs –
maybe a stupid question, but can someone explain this Wet Wednesday thing? is this weekly occurence?
Lord Velonese
July 21st, 2010
2:31 pm
Awwww poor girl…… Welcome to world of what it’s like for some guys, cry me a freaking river.
LURKER (I want some of dat)
July 21st, 2010
2:32 pm
Plus, I don’t care how nice dude is or how helpful, if he has no ambition or hustle to pull himself out of his unemployed or low-pay position, is a slacker, how can anybody look at him with any respect? If he’s out there busting his hump and trying but just hasn’t caught a break,
@Kimmie….What kind of foolery comment is this? If dude has a low paying position and is a slacker how can anybody look at him with respect? What about men and women who are content in there low paying jobs does that make people look at them with no respect? You need to quit judging folks…A lot of folks are content with what they have just make sure you don’t get with one of them…….QUIT JUDGing folks….Judge not, Judge Not…
Simply put if that person does not fit you criterial of what you want out of a mate keep it moving….
What it do princessNik? Do I need to come over and cut you grass?….Sweet tea is a good payment to start…. YEAH….
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
2:35 pm
What it do princessNik? Do I need to come over and cut you grass?….
LURKER
Funny you should mention that the grass really does need cutting, What kind of tea do you like
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
2:35 pm
Kent, I think “Swiss” is the closest thing to a WASP on here
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
2:40 pm
Reading is fundamental
If he’s out there busting his hump and trying but just hasn’t caught a break, then bump whomever looks down on him. Anybody could find themselves in the same situation.
Does that sound like judging? Don’t think so, but hey, whatever.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
2:42 pm
blue – WASP – White Anglo-Saxon Protestant
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
2:43 pm
WASP – White Anglo-Saxon Protestant
wow
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
2:43 pm
@kimmie – thank you! and no, doesnt sound judgemental to me.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
2:44 pm
@Princess – u wowing me, am i that behind the times, lol
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 21st, 2010
2:45 pm
Blue,
not wowing you, wowing the definition LOL
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
2:49 pm
@blue ~ Wet Wednesday is akin to Freaky Friday.
[S]he’s merely trying to jump start a freaky convo. Melo didn’t even bite!
@PrincessNik ~ you have never heard of a WASP? How about a BAP?
LURKER (I want some of dat)
July 21st, 2010
2:49 pm
@Kimmie….. Um I stated what if he is content with his low paying job. See you put low paying job in that sentence. I am asking you Princess of being to hard on yourself with all these societal rules if he is context with his low paying will you still look down on this man? Will you not give him respect? Is he a slacker because he is content with his current low playing job?
Does that simply this for you?
abc
July 21st, 2010
2:50 pm
Now, yall are saying you didn’t know that acronym, really?! No offense, but that’s worth a ‘wow’. How about yuppie or buppie — Young Urban Professional, Black Urban Professional? Still in use, although origin is about 20-30 years ago. I’d say there’s a few on the blog.
Kinda cracks me up when people say ‘Suburban Yuppies’. Like, what? Oh yeah, sure. Just because it roughly resembles ‘hippie’. As in, ‘one who is hip’, a hipster in 1940’s parlance. Pretty stupid acronyms all the way ’round, really, when you think about it.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
2:50 pm
@Princess – ok, dont feel so slow now, lol. definition is interesting tho, makes me wonder what my acronym would be……gonna have to think on that now….
LURKER (I want some of dat)
July 21st, 2010
2:52 pm
@BLue it does sound judgemental because a person excepts their low paying job people will look down on them! Who gave anyone the right to look down on a man/person/woman because he is content with his low paying job?
Because what is the difference in you mind between a person who is a slacker and does not want a better paying job or a person who is content with their low paying job? What is the difference? YESSS LURKER it’s time to put these women in their place TODAY….
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
2:55 pm
Someone please answer LURKER because I really want to know. Was in that same situation.
Kym
July 21st, 2010
2:57 pm
Why not date the guy who makes less and do things that fit both budgets? Like instead of taking expensive outings and trips..go places and do things both can afford. I mean one of my favorite authors is an attorney married to a plumber..wait that might be a bad comparison..cause plumbers can rake it in.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
2:57 pm
@blue ~ you sound like a BAP.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
2:59 pm
@PrincessN/blue??
how about YMP??
u know what that means??
abc
July 21st, 2010
3:01 pm
WASP is an especially nonsensical one, though. Anglo-Saxons were white by definition; they were pagans, Germanic tribes that invaded England around the 5th century. So if you’re of Anglo-Saxon heritage, you could have ancestors in England, Germany, or the whole of Great Britain or Europe. It starts to lose any specific meaning. You might as well say ‘Caucasian Protestant’, although even the ‘protestant’ label loses some significance. You could say ‘the majority of American population’.
It’s just a pretty stupid designation.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:01 pm
..cause plumbers can rake it in.
@Kym??
so u think thats why the attorney married the plumber..the ability to rake it in??
wait..i hope we talking about raking in the same thing!
SlimOne
July 21st, 2010
3:02 pm
“Dreams, give me two of those and put it on Slim’s tab.
PRain that’s the ticket. way to find yourself a sponsor.’
Prain & Dreams – I don’t have my own tab…i’ve been using For Real’s Black Card. So unless you both plan on giving him some beenie weenie, you might want to rethink making those charges
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
3:03 pm
@Leggs – BAP – have heard that to mean black angry person. me, nope, if i were angry more of a MAP – mixed angry person, if i were angry, lol
@Lurker/Leggs – i think the key word here is “content”. in my experience, folks who are content with those kinds of jobs are also the ones who are content being supported by other people, cannot manage their bills themselves or drama, ie. less than mature. and lets face it, most folks consider those types of jobs for teenagers.
if a grown person has one of those positions most of us would consider/hope it was transitional, not a career choice. its a job because minimum wage is better than nothing, and your trying to do what you need to do, but if you had a choice between flipping burgers and taking a position at a Fortune 500, youd take the latter.
and im pretty sure most women (good women anyway) would be alright with that. again, content is the key word.
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:04 pm
Okay I am sorry but this is just too dang funny not to share!!
A COUPLE having an affair were injured when they fell from a flat window during a secret sex session.
The cheating pair ended up naked on the pavement after plunging from the first floor flat in the German city of Lubeck.
Neighbours said the couple often met at the apartment for covert romps.
One said: “We didn’t see them but we could hear them.”
Cops said the pair were engrossed in their lovemaking on the windowsill when the woman toppled backwards out of the open window taking her partner with her.
But incredibly — despite being discovered naked together on the pavement — the woman insisted they were NOT making love and were just “messing around”.
She said: “We weren’t having sex, we were just mucking about. I don’t remember anything about the fall at all.”
Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3062912/Romp-couple-fall-from-flat-window.html#ixzz0uLSoTco3
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
3:06 pm
Lurker – Let me explain it for you. I was responding to IDK’s post – why a woman would look down on a guy that makes less or doesn’t have a job. By low pay I’m talking it does not begin to cover your bills. Not something you took to make ends meet until you can get something to support yourself. You are “content” with not being able to support yourself, much less anyone else. You are not trying to do better. If unemployed, you’re not trying to find a job. You are content laying around the house on someone else’s dime.
Sorry, but I have no respect for slackness. If you call that judging, so be it. But don’t take what I post out of context and put words in my mouth. Don’t judge me.
I’m not talking about people that are working in traditionally lower paying jobs, like teachers or cops, and are content. Some people don’t want to chase the dollar or climb the corporate ladder. I don’t – I’m content with what I have and so is my man. And neither of us is slacking.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
3:06 pm
@blue ~ perhaps now it may be referred to as black angry person, but I grew up with it being referred to as “Black African Princess!”
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:07 pm
@Melo I am sure she married him because she loved him..not because of his occupation. But as plumber I am quite sure he is not going hungry.
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
3:07 pm
[S]he’s merely trying to jump start a freaky convo. Melo didn’t even bite!
Leggs – If you’re talking about Wet Wednesday, I think Melo may have been the only one to respond…something about a torn zipper. I tried to take it all in, but I got stuck on Billie and Jay. LOL
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
3:09 pm
Why not date the guy who makes less and do things that fit both budgets?
Kym – That’s the perfect solution and one I eluded to earlier. That way, no one should feel “awkward”.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
3:11 pm
@melo – i’ll bite (may be sorry later, lol) – YMP?
@Leggs – ahhh, had not heard that one. wierd up bringing, wont bore you with the details… Black African Princess – thats a good thing right, not like “Diva” type Princess, but like Nubian Princess?
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
3:13 pm
blue – Your 3:03 – you explained it perfectly.
Most of the time I don’t respond to LURKER because he seems to have some weird facination with me. He often takes stuff I post and twist it into something that was not the intent, to put me down. He says I’m a princess and reside in Fantasyland. Don’t live in such a place, but I wear the crown proudly!
abc
July 21st, 2010
3:14 pm
Black American Princess, I think.
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
3:14 pm
But as plumber I am quite sure he is not going hungry.
Kym You got that right. I felt kinda violated anytime I had to call a plumber. “Well sir, it seems your clogged system is a result of tree roots that have grown through microfractures in your pipes. We’ll have to dig a trench from your home to the street, cut back the roots, remove the old pipe, and put a new one in. That’ll be $8000. Or we can just snake the pipes $1200, but the roots will keep growing back in the pipes and you’ll have to keep calling us out here at $1200 a pop.” I’m like WTF!
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:14 pm
@kimmie yep..no awkward feelings..win/win for both..I would rather date a guy who is lives within his budget, than a guy who is living above his means and trying to floss like he got it. One of my friends sent me this quote..We need to focus less on buying things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t know or like, who we don’t really care about in the first place.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
3:15 pm
@blue ~ some say in the Diva sense and others say it like I meant it…respectful.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:17 pm
What is a BAP?
I am whatever you say I am
July 21st, 2010
3:17 pm
“She has already bought him clothes, paid for a vacation, and last week he asked her for a loan. It is making her feel like a “sugar mama” at this point. How does she handle this without ruining the relationship”
Well …um….she did but those things so it’s not wonder she feels that way. she’s a dummy
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
3:17 pm
thats a good thing right, not like “Diva” type Princess, but like Nubian Princess?
blue judging from the movie BAPS, it would be ghetto fabulous type princess. lol
I am whatever you say I am
July 21st, 2010
3:17 pm
typo: buy
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:18 pm
@Dreams..I am trying to meet me an exterminator..mosquito, wasp, termite treatment, 500.00 to start..then a mere 250 a year. To kill small bugs that live outside…and underground.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:20 pm
Slim, I do not like you anymore.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
3:20 pm
@abc ~ I think you’re right. Couldn’t remember if it was American or African.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
3:20 pm
@kimmie – lol, he did seem a bit, focused lets say. but hey, im new, still learning personalities
@kym – agreed, lets just stay within our means, unless theres a need to do something else, need not want (gotta make allowances for emergencies, right?)
@Leggs – thanks for the clarity and the compliment then, but i guess i’d be more of a MAP then, Mixed American Princess
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:20 pm
I Am, come sit over here with me in the “She’s a dummy” section
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
3:23 pm
blue-7/30 – In some ways I see where you’re coming from, but if the examples were modified (less extreme), I may differ.
Sometimes it’s more about comfort of lifestyle…however that may be defined. If I had to choose between a guy who made an average income as an established business owner and owed nothing on his home and a guy on a high earning corporate track who is starting a mortgage…I may favor the business owner. Partly b/c I’m usually more attracted to entrepreneurs and partly because I would assume he’s a more financial safe bet, more available to his family, free spirited and resourceful.
There are scenarios that may fall in the favor of the lower earning guy.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:24 pm
melo – i’ll bite (may be sorry later, lol) – YMP?
blue??
Young Mandingo Professional
AmazonRed™
July 21st, 2010
3:25 pm
Dang good topic today. Hate I missed the fun.
If a man makes less than ME, he probably makes license plates as an inmate at the prison.
We’d just have to do free stuff. I ain’t never loaned money to a man and have never asked a man for money!
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
3:27 pm
Kym looks like you’ve done your research. High earning potential plus the practical benefits of his skills. In that case I wouldn’t mind meeting an Executive Chef. lol
but i guess i’d be more of a MAP then, Mixed American Princess
blue or CAP (Coloured American Princess) ain’t that right melo?
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:28 pm
If I had to choose between a guy who made an average income as an established business owner and owed nothing on his home and a guy on a high earning corporate track who is starting a mortgage…I may favor the business owner.
@Luvbug and blue?? in ur 2 way convo???
uall are in ur element, as females for sure!
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
3:28 pm
Young Mandingo Professional = Escort!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:29 pm
Amazon. how are you?
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:30 pm
YIP,
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
3:30 pm
Kym – 3:18 – Girl don’t sleep on the exterminator! The bug business is BIG and profitable. My real estate agent’s hubby started out with Orkin and a few years later started his own bug gig. He is often the only AA at those bug conventions and he does EXTREMELY well.
Dreams – I feel the same way you do about the plumber, A/C man, electrician…….. – they have skills that will always be in demand, practically recession-proof! You almost need to take out a second mortgage to pay them!
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
3:30 pm
Wait, Melo, perhaps you meant that as a young man in the corporate world doing his thing.
To many of us women, “mandingo” means one thing only!
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
3:31 pm
Melo – Really?! The men’s pocket is my element?
Whatever LOL
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
3:31 pm
If a man makes less than ME, he probably makes license plates as an inmate at the prison.
ARed you work in a sweat shop? I think you’re a tad bit overqualified.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:31 pm
Men, does it matter how much money a woman makes?
Women, does it matter how much money a man makes?
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
3:32 pm
ARed btw how are you?
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:33 pm
@Dreams..dude I am not sleeping on the blue collar guys at all. My daddy’s an electrician and have uncles and cousin who work construction, brick masons, mechanics, truck drivers..oh yeah and don’t forget my love of men in uniforms.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
3:36 pm
@melo – 2 way convo? female element? did luvbug and i become exclusive somehwere and i missed it? coulda sworn i was answering a guys question….and why is it always eyeing a mans pocket, why isnt what the guys were screaming earlier “showing good decision making skills”? if he wont, and i say wont not cant, support himself, what else is there to talk about?
@Leggs – Escort – lmao.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:37 pm
The men’s pocket is my element?
@Luvbug??
NO…im liking how u females(u and blue) are making a determination based on what the men do,which equates to money..etc…(women being in ur element) and not what the men are in terms of their individual personalities.
sex and money=women
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:38 pm
blue, did melo get under your skin. You mad? LOL j/k
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:41 pm
@PurpleRain..As long as he is living within his means..its all to the good..I just don’t want foolishness.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
3:41 pm
not what the men are in terms of their individual personalities.
Melo – But isn’t today’s topic about MONEY? Not whether the dude has good character, a nice sense of humor, family-oriented, spiritual, responsible, good hygiene, etc! LOL!!
LURKER (I want some of dat)
July 21st, 2010
3:43 pm
@Princess Kimmie….I get your point….My question still remain to many of you a good man who makes less then you will you still date him? Because he cannot take you on the Tom Joyner Morning cruise but he can take you to the ferry boat at Cobb’s waterpark….
@PrincessNik….E-mail me and LURKER will be there early in the morning cutting, trimming and edging for a glass of sweet tea…….
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:44 pm
@PurpleRain..you know the Vikings play the Saints on September 9th?
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
3:45 pm
Melo – In a broad stroke, I related what he would be like (a stereotypical guess) with what he did and how safe I would feel financially with how he spent his money. He could not own the home either, but I included it to show superior responsibility of maintaining his finances which may put him ahead of the other guy.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:45 pm
@Kimmie??
read 3.23
its too much about money.
todays topic is about how somebody uses their money(decision making) not how u choose them for their money. LOL which 3.23 is.
i bet u chose ur guy,not coz he is a lawyer who makes money but coz he is a good guy who happens to be a lawyer….see 3.23 again and u tell me. lol
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
3:47 pm
kimmie they had me rethinking my career choice. lol Started thinking to myself “I could be a plumber.”
@Dreams..dude I am not sleeping on the blue collar guys at all.
Kym Yeah you seem to have your head on straight. Whatever the “collar”, I’m sure they’ll feel pretty lucky.
don’t forget my love of men in uniforms.Do slacks and a button-up (corporate uniform) count? lol
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:48 pm
@Lurker..because I am cheap…I am not taking myself of the TJMS cruise…I can get 2 cruises for the price of that one….so yes if he made less we could go out.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
3:49 pm
@PR – i’ll admit a tad there. but cant have that, you know us light skinned people, we start to turn shades of pink and red when we get mad, then the beet jokes start flying, and it all goes downhill from there……..
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:49 pm
Kym, I did not know that. We will beat the ‘aints. I have been pondering buying some Falcons Season tickets since they are so cheap.
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
3:49 pm
todays topic is about how somebody uses their money(decision making) not how u choose them for their money. LOL which 3.23 is.
Wow Melo. You complete missed the point if you thought it was about money.
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:50 pm
@Dreams..the slacks and button down would be fine..long as he knows how to relax and enjoy a good football game, some ribs, and play a game of spades. Now if he is too stuffy for that..he might need to push on.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:50 pm
blue, it is funny how you get to know people over the internet. I read what you typed and was thinking, she is a bit perturbed. LOL
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:51 pm
@Luvbug??
my bad then
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:51 pm
Kym, I would like to be a stunt double until you find your man in uniform. I can eat ribs, play spades and watch football.
Kym
July 21st, 2010
3:52 pm
@Purple Rain..lawd…why you go an mention the Falcons….I am still stewing over having to buy tickets for a preseason game…you too will have to make such horrible sacrifices for your kid.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
3:53 pm
I have something very important to say to the blog:
“Only you can prevent forest fires”
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:53 pm
To many of us women, “mandingo” means one thing only
@Leggs
what??..i thoght it meant african
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
3:55 pm
@LURKER ~ in the example you’ve given, yes, I would date him. I will not date the man who makes less than me, is unhappy with the check he brings home, always sitting on the couch complaining there aren’t any better jobs out there but to afraid to actually find out if his analysis is true or not.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
3:57 pm
@Lurker – im more a ferry type of girl anyway, cant swim, need to be where there are fewer distraction so they can pay more attention to ME when i fall overboard.
i like simple but enjoyable, not flashy and pointless, so yeah, we could go out
@PR – LOL, guess you are getting to know me. and cant remember the last time i heard someone use the word perturbed, most folks need me to define it hwen i use it, lol. forest fires….smh lol
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
3:58 pm
LURKER – The man I’m seeing now can’t swing the Joyner morning cruise cause it costs 2k a person!
But seriously, most of the guys I’ve dated in the past made less than me. It’s all relative and there are other factors to take into account. Like Luvbug mentioned, he could make much more than me but have a lot more debt and be a paycheck away from foreclosure or the street. I don’t make nearly what I should, but the only debt I have is my house. A similiar dude, even one who made a little less than me would be fine. I’m also attracted to intelligence, so I’ve never wanted to date a dumb jock, who makes way more but can’t carry an intelligent conversation. I know folks who make considerably less than me but manage it way better than I do and folks that earn triple what I do but are always having money issues. So stuff like debt owed, earning potential – those are factors.
If I had Oprah money I could date a Stedman – if that Stedman could support himself and got satisfaction from what he was doing and making a contribution to society.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
3:59 pm
we start to turn shades of pink and red when we get mad
@blue??
do the skid marks show on ur neck and belly after ur man has given u some luving the previous nite??
thats why i like the dark chics…
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:02 pm
@Melo ~ it does. Perhaps it’s just my circle of friends. When we hear the word “mandingo,” we immediately think “hung heavy,” and “he knows how to stroke.” Sorry, perhaps it’s just us.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
4:02 pm
Leggs – Your 3:55 – I avoid “malcontent” dudes like that like the plague! Don’t sit around making everyone else miserable!
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
4:05 pm
Melo – He’s a nice guy that happened to be a lawyer, so yeah you are right.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
4:05 pm
@melo – have you ever heard the phrase “dont poke the bear”? lol, im perturbed with you remember!
will say tho, sometimes folks have been giving me looks like ive been attacked by a vampire. but i figure hey, im married, whats your problem? they cant tell about the spankings tho
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:05 pm
I wonder how much Stedman makes and what he does.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:06 pm
Oprah is shopping a Publix, Stedman at Food Depot
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:07 pm
When we hear the word “mandingo,” we immediately think “hung heavy,” and “he knows how to stroke.
@Leggs??–
U,ur friends and I need to hang out at Dugans more often!
lurker_1
July 21st, 2010
4:08 pm
Sorry to jump in here off subject, but today I haven’t felt so low and angry since the day I was watching the news and those cops got off for beating the ish out of Rodney King. I think every black person, in this country, should be a little sick from what has occured in the last 48 hrs.
No response required.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:09 pm
10 million a year, not bad Stedman
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:10 pm
but i figure hey, im married, whats your problem?
@blue!
I hear that..i can imagine the looks from the single chics with no dudes……no dudes single chics are the most envious heffers…
squirming on their seats in their cubicles..!
envious of ur hickee
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
4:11 pm
Dang I’m in the wrong business! The INTERIM UGA Athletic Director is getting an extra 10K a month!
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:11 pm
lurker_1
u race baiting?
AmazonRed™
July 21st, 2010
4:12 pm
@Purple Rain/Dreams – I’m good. Could be better. But good things keep happening for me, even when life throws me curveballs!
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
4:14 pm
Oprah is shopping at Publix, Stedman at Food Depot
Purple you wrong for that!
But no, Oprah is shopping at Whole Foods. And she owns it. Several of them and throw in a few Publix for good measure! LOL!!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:15 pm
blue, LOL
Amazon, can’t complain about good things happening.
Good to read you.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:15 pm
could it be such a bad idea if i paid a really good girl to come in and do a tripple with us??
i been feling this for a long time……
im thinking better that than cheat,right….
what uall think ladies…to keep my marriage intact
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
4:16 pm
@melo – lol, there is that.
alrite, good people, play with yall tomorrow. nite nite!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:17 pm
kimmie, I wonder if Oprah feels like a Sugar Momma, I know that Stedman makes 10mil a year but, he just can’t spend like Oprah does. He makes less than here i am sure she owns the yachts, planes, house etc. I BET Oprah sent in today’s topic to Wise Diva. LOL or Demi Moore.
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
4:18 pm
@melo – ok was leaving, and saw that , lol. gonna have to see later what the women respond, c just how much im in a class by myself. but will tell ya, the extra company will make a nite you’ll remember. ask mr.blue
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:19 pm
blue, I was just about to get started with you.
bye. lol
melo, your wife is your wife mind body and soul, do not share her with anyone. Nothing wrong with letting another women watch though or you sharing yourself with the other woman….just don’t share your wife. LOL
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
4:19 pm
dont know about the paid part tho, not so much feeling the cash transaction lol. nite!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:20 pm
blue, the more you blog the more comfortable you get. You and Mr blue had a 3some? Details please. lol
blue-7/30
July 21st, 2010
4:22 pm
@PR – told you i was complicated person
. ask me tomorrow. buenos noches
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:22 pm
melo, if you ask your wife and she does not agree, do you think that she would think that you are playing elsewhere because you broached the subject? And if she says yes, but her stipulation is the first time you add a woman then the second time you add a man. LOL, to many variables. LOL
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:22 pm
@lurker_1 ~ If you’re referring to what I think you are, I was just talking about it at lunch today. It’s a damn shame when they’ve been doing it since The Middle Passage!
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:23 pm
I like blue, she is spanktastic
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:24 pm
Who in their right mind would be envious of a blood clot???? Now, if you’re talking about the the “art” of acquiring one, that’s a different subject.
kimmie
July 21st, 2010
4:25 pm
dont know about the paid part tho, not so much feeling the cash transaction lol
Speaking of cash transaction, did any of you catch The Client List on Lifetime the other night? It was about this couple that was about to get foreclosed on. The husband got injured and lost his construction job and the wife was a physical therapist that lost her job too. She applied for this job that appeared to be for a massage therapist. The place ended up being a brothel! She turned it down at first, got desperate and accepted it and didn’t tell hubby. The money got real good to her. Hubby didn’t find out until he saw her on the evening news being led out in handcuffs – police raided the place! It was good!
AmazonRed™
July 21st, 2010
4:26 pm
Thanks Purple Rain. Thanks for asking. Good to read you too! Hope you and Julia are well!
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
4:26 pm
I’m good. Could be better. But good things keep happening for me, even when life throws me curveballs!
ARed The curveballs are often the precursor (or even the catalyst) to the good things. Getting curveballs could even be a tribute to your character and fortitude. Some people couldn’t handle such adversity.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:27 pm
Naw, even the “art” of acquiring one isn’t grounds for envy.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:27 pm
Leggs, you grossed me out until i figured out blood clot mean hickies.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:28 pm
Now, if you’re talking about the the “art
@Leggs??
u making it complicated….that is like a broke man saying “dont say I am broke,understand how I got broke!”
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
4:28 pm
Melo – Please don’t ask your wife that crap. If you didn’t state it in your vows, it’s off limits. LOL
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:29 pm
but will tell ya, the extra company will make a nite you’ll remember
@blue??
u may have to give me some heads up tmrw!
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:29 pm
Dagnabit, kimmie ~ I wanted to see that movie. Well, it’s Lifetime. It will be on again and again and again.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:31 pm
@Luvbug??
but I want to bring some spark in our 15 yr union(sexually) without jeaopadizing the relationship
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:31 pm
LOL, I’m not making it complicated. That’s what a hickie is, nothing more, nothing less…a blood clot! Passion mark my behind.
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
4:32 pm
There are other ways. Ask the married people. They know what to do.
Purple Rain
July 21st, 2010
4:34 pm
Amazon, we are doing bette, thank you for asking.
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
4:34 pm
Melo – You the only blog guy that aint caught a blog lady on the side?? j/k
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:34 pm
@Melo ~ you need to sit down with Queen and ask for her suggestions to sprucing up the sex life all the while assuring her it’s still all good, but wanted a little more spice and see what she says, or what shoe she throws at you. If it’s a pump, she’s entertaining the idea. If it’s a flat shoe, you’re stuck with the sex the way it is.
lurker_1
July 21st, 2010
4:37 pm
Yes, Leggs CNN is currently playing the full unedited version of her speech. I’m sure they will have it on their website. It’ll be worth your time.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:40 pm
You the only blog guy that aint caught a blog lady on the side??
@ yes and i thinking im being targeted and stereotyped for my immigratiuon status..
Enter u Luvbug,and ur fair mindedness and good heart…..
can u fix some for me??
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:40 pm
@lurker_1 ~ thank you. The entire situation makes me cringe!!
AmazonRed™
July 21st, 2010
4:41 pm
Dreams – Good point. I hope you’re right.
Purple Rain – Better? Did did I miss something? (works been busy!!!) Glad to hear things are moving in a positive direction regardless.
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:44 pm
lurker_1??
the Obama admin needs to have a stronger back and not jelly backing all the damn time to the fox pple and the right wing machine…
this is the 4th time something like this has happened.
They must learn to say ‘Phlucck U” to them and mean it!
LURKER (I want some of dat)
July 21st, 2010
4:45 pm
@Princess Kimmie….. What if you man thought since you are not thinking about going to a higher position that you were not worthy of him? How would you feel about?
To all the blog women thanks for engaging the lurker….. Does society dictate how we date? Is their something wrong with a woman asking a man out and paying for it?
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
4:46 pm
can u fix some for me??
If you mean give suggestions (the only meaning I will honor), people who have experienced and come out successfully in your situation are best suited for that.
How I go from a money grabber to a fair minded and good hearted person?? I swear, guys will say anything to get in something. LOL
Besides, I aint one of the caught blog ladies.
DreamsMaterialize
July 21st, 2010
4:46 pm
Dreams – Good point. I hope you’re right.
ARed Triumph is only defined in the context of struggle. You have to overcome something in order to be victorious. Embrace your struggle…you got this.
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:46 pm
Nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out and paying for the date. Nothing wrong w/that at all!
LURKER (I want some of dat)
July 21st, 2010
4:47 pm
Fellas make sure you write in you vows when you get married after 10yrs of sex you can bring in another woman for sex…..YEAHHH
ON that note I am out of here!!! YESSSS
I really like Princess Kimmie….She is truly one of kind…..
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
4:51 pm
LURKER – See, I knew it. Your vetting Kimmie to make a big play for her in the future. Love licks. LOL
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:52 pm
How I go from a money grabber to a fair minded and good hearted person??
@Luvbug?/
come on sweetheart,u dont take my posts seriously an d personally all the damn time(as im looking seriously at ur chest)
Besides, I aint one of the caught blog ladies
I didnt say that…u one of my favs
Melo
July 21st, 2010
4:54 pm
Nothing wrong w/that at all
@Leggs??
and getting her cobs cleaned in the same nite?
her ride
her gas
her food money
her bed
her towels
her water
her ride back to his crib to unload him
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:55 pm
lurker_1
July 21st, 2010
4:55 pm
Melo, agree!!
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
4:56 pm
come on sweetheart,u dont take my posts seriously an d personally all the damn time(as im looking seriously at ur chest)
No, I don’t take anybody’s posts personally. How could I? I don’t know and haven’t seen any of you.
Stop looking at my chest MELO!!
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:57 pm
@Melo ~ there’s no soap on that list!
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
4:59 pm
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals”
Enjoy your evening!
Luvbug
July 21st, 2010
5:02 pm
Great quote…right on time (for me)
Leggs
July 21st, 2010
5:04 pm
Then put your eyes back on the prize, Luvbug!