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The art of great first dates

Far be it from me to complain about the precious few dates so far this summer. I never want to appear rude or anything but I have to send a public service announcement out:

First dates can make or break your potential romance.

Yeah, I know this seems like a no-brainer, but ask any single person about their most disastrous dates ever. Chances are they were on the one  (and only) first date that failed miserably.

I have wondered why there is so much pressure to impress on a first date. You don’t have to really go all out on some grand gesture. Nor should you pluck ideas from these ridiculous reality tv dating shows.

You know what works best? Normal. No, really! Doing something you have already found to be enjoyable and pleasant. No surprises. No gimmicks. A perfectly normal activity or past time you like to do, but with someone you are really really attracted to.

The more normal the date, the less distracted you are. This way, you can catch any crazy behavior or horrendous manners that the date may display. You could also discover what a complete joy they are to be around.

So let’s dissect first dates today. What is the art of a great first date in your book?

What first date rituals do you go through to increase your chances of being relaxed and ready to charm?

What should you absolutely avoid on a first date?

Do your part people! There are innocent single people being subjected to awful, no good first dates and it is up to us to help them.

Happy Friday!

385 comments Add your comment

Leggs

July 16th, 2010
1:48 pm

“Wow! I had no idea women were giving it up on the first date. I haven’t done that since college, but I was married for a long while between. No wonder I have so much competition with the ‘bad boys’. They probably get bored with me. LOL”

Now, I understand! :wink: :wink:

“he was trying his best to talk me into it but it wasn’t happening…” Dang, if a person has to be talked into it won’t be good sex!

czBrat

July 16th, 2010
1:49 pm

Most guys that are thugs are looking for a women that fits into his world. Again, as stated in my post I don’t think too many women are pulling (sterotypical thug), must are pulling the undercover thug, you know the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Instead of pulling the *thug* in the box chevy, we are pulling the same mentality with a college degree riding in a BMW.
luv that post, profesora! immediately brings to mind all three of the guys i’ve dated seriously since my divorce. although i would never claim to like the bad boy type, they generally end up having that edge.

and wth is a chocolate/cherry hot pocket? should i even ask :shock: just never mind.

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
1:50 pm

To my mind, no one was mad at ole girl for her decision.

Dan – Sorry I didn’t put lol at the end of my post.

Cause I was joking. It’s not that serious!

LOL :lol:

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
1:52 pm

Kym – it’s just COOOOMMMEEEDDDYYY. ;-)

‘Dark-chocolate, with the cherry center’

swiss, yeah she told me how you like to partake of the cherry center first and eat the outsides last….sort of like how I eat my oreos. :lol: and Nut-N-ah-Hut gave me a crazy Mental picture. :shock:

LURKER (I want some of dat)

July 16th, 2010
1:52 pm

Happy FREAKY Friday……3 daily letters……P S H. that is good for us men! YESSSSS

@ Women Lurker…….Silk satin scarfs are coming to you via UPS for a Monday delivery I will take you out this weekend so you will not feel you gave it up to fast…. Because LURKER wants the puddy… YEAH :wink: :wink:

@Slimone…..I guess Dry Humping was not enough for dude huh? He should have fed you more liquor…If you talk game is not woking go to the alcohol….It works 90 percent of the time..YESSS

@LURKER wants it on first date, the 2nd date and the 3 date to see if the puddy gets better with age……YESSSS

@Luvbug…..So you want to be handle like a thug in the bedroom huh? I see you need that bootey spank……YESSSS :smile:

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
1:53 pm

then the fact that he started breaking out into a sweat when we weren’t even doing anything made it worse.

Slim – eeewwwwww!!!!

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
1:54 pm

@Melo

I never said I was batting 100 percent

What I stated was “that no dude on here has or would turn it down”, granted, using ‘has’ was a bit presumptuous on my part, but the point still stands.

If it is offered (which it isn’t always), then few dudes (that I know) would turn down sex.

abc

July 16th, 2010
1:54 pm

Luvbug, I can’t really speak to what you may or may not have thought my persona was all about. I’m just words on a screen here. I stand by whatever I’ve said, though.

Melo, I wouldn’t say that in my dating experiences I had 100% success. Sex wasn’t my only criteria, anyway. I’d say I was 95% or better, though, in getting whatever it was that I was after. I wouldn’t say that was due to any deficiencies in the women involved. I’d say it was because we were simpatico. Some people don’t connect as well, and many have difficulties when dealing with the opposite sex. I’ve never really had that problem.

Meeting women is easy, all you have to do is have a general idea of what they want, and be willing and able to provide it. What do women want? Most of all, security. You have to be able to capture their interest, in at least a couple of ways, and you can’t be a toad. Even some of the toadies have success with women due to being interesting, and willing and able to provide that which women want the most.

Kym

July 16th, 2010
1:54 pm

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
1:55 pm

Melo – Your 1:41, I agree. Somethings definitely “off”.

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
1:55 pm

“LURKER wants it on first date, the 2nd date and the 3 date to see if the puddy gets better with age” <– that's funny

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
1:56 pm

Oh no, Slim, you got it backwards… I like to slooooooooowly work my way around the chocolate exterior, so that by the time I get to the cherry center, it’s ripe & juicy… :lol:

Melo

July 16th, 2010
1:59 pm

Dan??

during my days with my boys,the joke always was,if a chic is that thirsty that she wants u to score that much,she must have an STD bothering her,so she needs somebody scratching her from the inside to ease that angst..RUN… :evil: :evil:

(kinda like the angst u get from the itch inside ur ear) :lol: :lol:

RUN wld still apply today! :lol: :lol:

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
1:59 pm

@swiss – see, now when SO of bloggers get jumped when said bloggers get home, folks like you will be to blame lmao, cherrys and hot pockets…..

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
2:00 pm

@melo

Again, that’s you.

I’m not going to litigate my decision making process with you homie, so let’s just agree to disagree.

abc

July 16th, 2010
2:01 pm

Dan, I’ve turned women down lots of times. Maybe they were married or otherwise attached, maybe they didn’t appeal to me, maybe I just plain didn’t feel like it at the time — mostly, I’ve turned it down because of being unwilling to get wrapped up in their lives. Once I was past the age of 21 or so, I started to find that it came with some implied or explicit obligations. I wasn’t always willing to fulfill the obligations, so I’d turn them down.

Once a couple of married chicks — married to friends of mine — had a contest among themselves to see who could score a short list of men they considered would be the most difficult to get. I was on the list; neither of them got it from me. They put concerted effort into it, too. I was well past 21 at that point, though — maybe stuff like that works on kids, but not on a grown man — at least, not on this one.

Dig That

July 16th, 2010
2:01 pm

Wassup erybody

Who schedules damn near an all day meeting on Friday. Whew!!! I skimmed thru a little and this is hilarious.

How is Friday treating erybody?

Kym

July 16th, 2010
2:01 pm

I am so bored..where is Stanley Q? I need a laugh to get to the end of the day.

Melo

July 16th, 2010
2:04 pm

I’m not going to litigate my decision making process

@Dan!!

OK its adjudicted!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

(on the legal tip uall) :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
2:04 pm

Now this ABC I can believe. Somethings may be tempting but you gotta weigh the pros and cons. Sometimes, it just ain’t worth the trouble.

Once I was past the age of 21 or so, I started to find that it came with some implied or explicit obligations. I wasn’t always willing to fulfill the obligations, so I’d turn them down

Why did I laugh when I read this —>where is Stanley Q? I need a laugh to get to the end of the day.

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
2:04 pm

‘I guess Dry Humping was not enough for dude huh? He should have fed you more liquor…If you talk game is not woking go to the alcohol….It works 90 percent of the time’

LURKER – No dry humping at all…didn’t get to that point…and after drinking a whole bottle of wine I still was saying N to the izzO lol

swiss that post reminded me of that Tootsie Roll pop commercial with the Owl in the tree tombout how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop. :lol:

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
2:05 pm

I am so bored..where is Stanley Q? I need a laugh to get to the end of the day.

Ditto…

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
2:05 pm

@abc

You’re deviating from the bell curve.

Of course on the edges there are decisions made for specific instances, but at the crest of the curve (generalities) is where this conversation was going, not the statistical deviations.

In specific instances, specific people do specific things…..

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
2:06 pm

If ya’ll gonna summon Stan the Silly man, please let me get some M&Ms or something so I can munch and laugh. He was hi la ri ous yesterday

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
2:06 pm

blue — You’re welcome. And tell mr. blue (balls) he owes me a beer. ;-) :lol:

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
2:07 pm

all of this pontificatin n what not…give me a break.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
2:09 pm

@swiss – i see between you and melo im gonna have to find a new name for him, lol

Dig That

July 16th, 2010
2:09 pm

Dry humping?

Dirty Diana

July 16th, 2010
2:10 pm

hey czbrat…

@Lady wasssup up Diva! You better have a hall pass or excuse stepping in late missing homeroom.

@Kimmie…yes it is busy at work today, and I did not read all of the post…I just popped in.

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
2:10 pm

“…that post reminded me of that Tootsie Roll pop commercial with the Owl in the tree tombout how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.”

Slim — I knew there was a reason that commercial always used to give me a woody….

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
2:10 pm

Stan the Silly man

Okay soo Stanley Steamer = Stan the Silly man….comedy :-)

Kym

July 16th, 2010
2:13 pm

@Sassy..are you going to play internet scrabble..now? LMAO!!

Lady-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

July 16th, 2010
2:14 pm

DD too funny I have my pass signed by my favorite AP honey!!!! I am str8!!!!! What is going on with ya!!!! I am sorta kind of catcching up and still lost lol…….but i think i have a good overview…….

I am whatever you say I am

July 16th, 2010
2:15 pm

First dates: Think outside the box. Dinner dates are okay but they are so played out.

I had a date where we grabbed a bite to eat (Geisha House), saw the Bodies exhibit, and finished the night off at Intermezo.
Yes, we did dinner but the bodies exhibit was thinking outside the box and I had a wonderful time.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
2:15 pm

alrightee, checking out, everybody have a great weekend!

Kym

July 16th, 2010
2:15 pm

@Sassy I say that because we all on big word alert right now..

Dan honey its Friday..big words are banned on Fridays

Lady-Resilient!!

July 16th, 2010
2:16 pm

the normal first date hmmmmmm……..have anyone spent 2 hours chatting it up at the gas pump @ QT???!!!???

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
2:17 pm

1….slurp!
too hoo hoo….slurp!
thrrrrrrrreeeeee…..slurp!

Kym

July 16th, 2010
2:18 pm

Good grief Tiger you are nine shots off the lead..

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
2:18 pm

I am – me loves some Intermezzo’s…can be a bit pricey tho.

Lady-Resilient!!

July 16th, 2010
2:20 pm

slim very pricey but a great spot…….lol

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
2:23 pm

Okay soo Stanley Steamer = Stan the Silly man….comedy :) :)

I was torn between the two

Dirty Diana

July 16th, 2010
2:26 pm

Lady two hours at QT…hmmmmm

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
2:27 pm

I say that because we all on big word alert right now..

I know right?…

Lady-Resilient!!

July 16th, 2010
2:29 pm

hmmmm what DD……

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
2:29 pm

Dan honey its Friday..big words are banned on Fridays

!!!!!!!!! SassaFrass blog hollering…stop it I say.

Dirty Diana

July 16th, 2010
2:30 pm

Lady,

I had a melo moment!

Lady-Resilient!!

July 16th, 2010
2:30 pm

i am sitting her blogging with a 4 year old playing in my hair….lol……yawn….i want to go to sleep….pray i make it to chastain! lol

Lady-Resilient!!

July 16th, 2010
2:31 pm

oh my ok got you! lol

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
2:34 pm

Dirty D – Got your point. :lol:

I rarely pull an undercover thug either…average in character

One can only guess why many in the average pool (such as myself) are not in a relationship or married. A person would only know that by spending time with me…or they can assume I’m crazy, diseased, ugly, broke or (insert negative comment). LOL