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The art of great first dates

Far be it from me to complain about the precious few dates so far this summer. I never want to appear rude or anything but I have to send a public service announcement out:

First dates can make or break your potential romance.

Yeah, I know this seems like a no-brainer, but ask any single person about their most disastrous dates ever. Chances are they were on the one  (and only) first date that failed miserably.

I have wondered why there is so much pressure to impress on a first date. You don’t have to really go all out on some grand gesture. Nor should you pluck ideas from these ridiculous reality tv dating shows.

You know what works best? Normal. No, really! Doing something you have already found to be enjoyable and pleasant. No surprises. No gimmicks. A perfectly normal activity or past time you like to do, but with someone you are really really attracted to.

The more normal the date, the less distracted you are. This way, you can catch any crazy behavior or horrendous manners that the date may display. You could also discover what a complete joy they are to be around.

So let’s dissect first dates today. What is the art of a great first date in your book?

What first date rituals do you go through to increase your chances of being relaxed and ready to charm?

What should you absolutely avoid on a first date?

Do your part people! There are innocent single people being subjected to awful, no good first dates and it is up to us to help them.

Happy Friday!

385 comments Add your comment

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:49 pm

Hooot Pocket!!

Run4Life

July 16th, 2010
12:49 pm

Wow! I had no idea that women were giving it up on the first date. I haven’t done that since college. No wonder I have such stiff competition when trying to date the ‘bad boys’. I am sure they get bored with me.

I won’t normally give it up until I begin to really start feeling someone, which is about 4 or 5 weeks, if you make it that long. Usually first date is a hug, second date is a smack on the lips just to see if I’m feeling you. If I’m not feeling you, then maybe a smack on the 3d date, and then no 4th date. I know…I take no prisoners. LOL

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:51 pm

hot pocket, lol, now i got the commercial jingle running thru my head “Ding, HOT POCKET”, lmao

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
12:52 pm

Dirty Di-anaaaaaaaaa what’s going on chica?!

blue/it’s me satin scarves are the isht…if you tie them right of course they’ll do the job but when things get to poppin they can come off quickly…

Run4Life

July 16th, 2010
12:53 pm

Wow! I had no idea women were giving it up on the first date. I haven’t done that since college, but I was married for a long while between. No wonder I have so much competition with the ‘bad boys’. They probably get bored with me. LOL

On a first date, the guy probably gets a hug if he hasn’t been too offensive that night. Second date is a smack on the lips to see if there is any chemistry. If I am not feeling you by the third date, then you get another smack. Then there is no fourth date. If I like you by the third date, then you get a full fledged french kiss you will not forget. j/k. I know….I take no prisoners.

For Real

July 16th, 2010
12:54 pm

Jesus-Cudda Cat according to Webster means: Females that believe their puddy is sooooo that it can change lives. Amen!

“Problems as in she’s crazy and may eventually be obsessed with you” – No not obsessed… If she think sex is a binding agreement. aka..Now that we had sex when can I meet your mamma
“her hot pocket may be so good that you may be obsessed with her??” – No such thing.

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
12:54 pm

Me, too, blue:lol: I’m headed straight home today & telling Mrs. Swiss to drop them drawls so I can snack on her Hot Pocket! :lol: :lol:

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
12:55 pm

@CoCo

Thanks…I’m not grumpy though

However, we are accepting mood changing applications…..

For Real

July 16th, 2010
12:56 pm

“Wow! I had no idea women were giving it up on the first date. I haven’t done that since college” – Example No. 5 million and 13 of women irrational thinking.

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
12:58 pm

back from lernch

SO the consensus is a line from Tu Pac….”tease me, cause I don’t want it if it’s that easy”

You don’t want it on a Gold Plated Platter because that brings about cause for concern…yet if she is closed up and iron clad, you trip to your boys about how you spent $19.50 on the movies and about a quarter of a tank of gas on your 45 minute drive, but didn’t get no Puddy for the date expenses….Interesting.

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:59 pm

No such thing.

Okay Real. I’m sure that’s never happened to you. Maybe others…

Aint that right Steve Q??

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
1:00 pm

Slim – Yet we’re the ones that are irrational! :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
1:01 pm

but when things get to poppin they can come off quickly…

LOL Sassy, Precisely :) I don’t like feeling restrained…it makes me feel clostrophobic. Closet, cuffs, small room, prison…no can do.

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
1:02 pm

@Slim

Don’t believe the hype.

Ain’t a dude on here that has or would turn sex down on a first date.

As for the dude’s that “feel some kinda way” about it, they have no sense of self. An actualized person can accept and appreciate someone acting on their desires, without judging them.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
1:02 pm

@lurker@sassy – lol, they have their place, and yes keep the keys handy. trust if i tried to put them on the mr, would not go over well lol
@kimmie@slim – dont you just love the logic?

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 16th, 2010
1:03 pm

@Blue I am not saying that this was your situation, but a lot of times when break-ins like that occur it is usually someone that has been in your home. A lady at my job experienced something similar and it was the older brothers/cousins of her son’s friends. I guess they knew about all the electronics through the kids talking about what games and systems they played.

@luvbug I don’t think too many people are pulling real life thugs (sterotype version), however must are pulling the those that are educated with, with limited social skills etc. I would venture to say if a woman has pulled all of these wonderful, educated, top notch men in the past–why is she still single? If she does not want to be married, why is she not in a long term exclusive relationship (similiar to how the gays do it…buy houses and cars together). IMO

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
1:05 pm

’she think sex is a binding agreement’

For Real – like that comedian said once, if we have sex…WE GO TOGETHER! lol

lil lurk

July 16th, 2010
1:07 pm

dudes who caint say no or always tryin to hit on the first date just aint used to gettin any on the reg

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
1:08 pm

Jesus-Cudda Cat according to Webster means: Females that believe their puddy is sooooo that it can change lives. Amen!

Gotcha

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
1:10 pm

“Ain’t a dude on here that has or would turn sex down on a first date.”

True, Dan. Even if I wasn’t attracted to the chick at all… Hell, I’ve already wasted a night on this trick, I’d might as well nutt…. :lol:

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
1:10 pm

@Diana – thats been our thought too. esp since we always have a house full of kids from the neighborhood. they kicked in my door shortly after i went to work. our guess was they knew the routine of when we left in the morning, and figured the house was empty.

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
1:11 pm

‘Females that believe their puddy is sooooo that it can change lives’

Angels come in many forms. ;-)

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
1:13 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: —-> swiss I think I almost heard you say that. But if you aren’t attracted to a chick, how are you able to Rise to the occasion?

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
1:14 pm

Dirty D – Yeah, that’s a reasonable question, but my response to abc was based on his blog presentation to date being extremely critical of behaviors that he’s only now admitting to participating in. If you act superior, are hyper critical of those you feel are inferior and date the same supposedly inferior folks, it’s misleading to people who accepted your first persona.

Every none-thug is not a topnotch guy…and every single person claiming to pull topnotch guys (which I have never claimed) is not downing others while knowing they’ve been carrying on relationships with people they’re constantly downing.

IMO, the subjects are apples and cars difference.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
1:14 pm

@swiss – d@mn, y’all really will stick that thing anywhere wont cha? lol

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
1:15 pm

Slim “Jesus Cudda Cat” — If I can rise to the occasion for my hand, I can rise to the occasion for a real, live hot pocket — no matter what kind of she-beast it’s attached to… :lol: :lol: Just close your eyes & use your imagination…

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
1:17 pm

if we have sex…WE GO TOGETHER!

I haven’t heard that phrase in sooo long….to cute :lol:

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
1:17 pm

I would venture to say if a woman has pulled all of these wonderful, educated, top notch men in the past–why is she still single?

Diana – I know you were talking to Luvbug, but I agreed with her earlier post on this. I took her post to mean she didn’t get approached by thugs or dudes with thug-like tendencies or dudes that presented themselves like thugs. Neither have I. Don’t mean that every dude that steps my way is marriage-material, just decently respectful.

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
1:17 pm

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
1:18 pm

@Swiss

for that 1:15…..{slow clap}…..

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
1:21 pm

she-beast….just d@mn :lol:

Kym

July 16th, 2010
1:22 pm

Okay what’s the topic now…are we all still going to die single and alone..or have we moved on?

Melo

July 16th, 2010
1:25 pm

Ain’t a dude on here that has or would turn sex down on a first date.

@Dan

ewwwwwwwwww @ u buddy!! :lol:

since I became a mature adult..28+, and was so confident in my game and that any girl that accepted my date potentially liked me and i could smash, I wasnt that thirsty to want anyhting and everything that was presented on a platter.

There are plenty chics that I wld meet,exchange cards with and they wld subsequentlyblow my phone up repeateadly untill they gave up and others who wld do crazy just for me to hit…

I passed! I swear!

DreamsMaterialize

July 16th, 2010
1:25 pm

it’s me…lurker silk work well too. Ask some of my neckties how I know this. lol

But if you aren’t attracted to a chick, how are you able to Rise to the occasion?
Slim we get woodys eating a bowl of cereal or doing absolutely nothing at all. sometimes attraction has nothing to do with it. Also, a dude can turn down puddy whenever he wants. I know lots of chicks think their cooch is platinum laced with diamond topped with sun glazed sapphire and that only a gay dude wouldn’t want it, but it’s not true.

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
1:25 pm

i’m swiss/Dan – You will take it even if you can sense that the lady wants a relationship with you and not a one night stand??

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
1:27 pm

Kym – the men are all talking about the hoit pockets they like to eat…which flavor do you like the best :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
1:28 pm

Dreams, silk ties? I sure they’ve all had a “turn.”

Woodys? If the wind blow, it’s an occasion….LOL

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 16th, 2010
1:29 pm

@Blue yep I bet is was some of those kids.

@Kimmie/luvbug As for the sterotypical “thug” which I hate using that word, because Bernie Madoff is a thug (I digress). Most guys that are thugs are looking for a women that fits into his world. Again, as stated in my post I don’t think too many women are pulling (sterotypical thug), must are pulling the undercover thug, you know the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Instead of pulling the *thug* in the box chevy, we are pulling the same mentality with a college degree riding in a BMW.

That is my point, I hope you ladies get it.

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
1:29 pm

@Melo

Really? “Ewww”? From you?

Stop it.

But to each his own.

@Luv

Informed consent

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
1:31 pm

swiss – I bet Mrs Swiss stays in stitches cuz yous a skrait nut in a hut. :lol:

Dreams – I guess i’m thinking from a womans POV because if i’m not attracted to a dude, I feel totally disgusted if he tries to be intimate with me. I recall this one dude who I totally enjoyed talking to, hanging out with, etc but I just wasn’t physically attracted to him. When he tried to push up on me I felt like Celie from Color Purple…he was trying his best to talk me into it but it wasn’t happening…then the fact that he started breaking out into a sweat when we weren’t even doing anything made it worse. :shock:

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
1:32 pm

We went from dudes being miffed cause a lady wouldn’t give it up on the first date as payment for dude’s gas he burned driving 45 minutes to her house

to

dudes talking about not turning it down if it was offered on a first date, silver-platter, paper plate or napkin on the first date!

Hillarious! :lol:

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
1:33 pm

“…the men are all talking about the hoit pockets they like to eat…which flavor do you like the best “

There’s probably no need for me to answer this, but I will anyway: Dark-chocolate, with the cherry center. :lol:

Kym

July 16th, 2010
1:34 pm

@Slim honey I don’t eat hot pockets..real or renamed to mean something else.

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
1:36 pm

@Kimmie

That’s a gross misreading (at least from my perspective).

The conversation evolved from dude “expecting” something on a first date, to expectations in general, to would a dude turn down sex on a first date.

To my mind, no one was mad at ole girl for her decision.

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
1:39 pm

@Luv

I’ve never taken what wasn’t offered to me. So “take” it? No. Will I accept her offer? Yeap.

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
1:39 pm

“…yous a skrait nut in a hut”

That’s funny, Slim… “Nut in a hut” is Mrs. Swiss’ pet name for me when I’m up in the hot pocket… Small world… :lol:

Melo

July 16th, 2010
1:41 pm

@Dan??

for a guy to be batting 100% all the time or most times on a first date like abc was pulling,a cpple of things gotta be happening:

1. the chics are well below ur proper league..so all the time.they gotta be thirsty..

2 u dating pros(if there is ever such a term)

cause while i can accept that ur league chic here and there may feel u that much to want to smash,how many chics on the regualar are like that unless there is smething wrong with them morally???

And they want to go to ur crib,theres or the hotel/motel all the time….

Then u gotta check ur dating pool…its corrupted!!

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
1:42 pm

hot pocket, nut in a hut, y’all r a mess, lmao

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
1:42 pm

Diana – When you put it that way, yeah I get what you’re saying. A thug isn’t neccesarily dressed in thug attire(wolf in sheeps clothing).

Just haven’t been stepped to in the manner described by some today, that’s all. They seem to know I would not fit in their world. Not to say every man has been perfect and some haven’t tried to push things fast.

Lady-Resilient!!

July 16th, 2010
1:47 pm

Happy Friday Good People!!!!!! Who’s going to Chastain this evening to see Frankie Bev & Maze this evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!