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The art of great first dates

Far be it from me to complain about the precious few dates so far this summer. I never want to appear rude or anything but I have to send a public service announcement out:

First dates can make or break your potential romance.

Yeah, I know this seems like a no-brainer, but ask any single person about their most disastrous dates ever. Chances are they were on the one  (and only) first date that failed miserably.

I have wondered why there is so much pressure to impress on a first date. You don’t have to really go all out on some grand gesture. Nor should you pluck ideas from these ridiculous reality tv dating shows.

You know what works best? Normal. No, really! Doing something you have already found to be enjoyable and pleasant. No surprises. No gimmicks. A perfectly normal activity or past time you like to do, but with someone you are really really attracted to.

The more normal the date, the less distracted you are. This way, you can catch any crazy behavior or horrendous manners that the date may display. You could also discover what a complete joy they are to be around.

So let’s dissect first dates today. What is the art of a great first date in your book?

What first date rituals do you go through to increase your chances of being relaxed and ready to charm?

What should you absolutely avoid on a first date?

Do your part people! There are innocent single people being subjected to awful, no good first dates and it is up to us to help them.

Happy Friday!

385 comments Add your comment

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:10 pm

It’s a joint on Peachtree right by the military surplus store, can’t think of the name

blue 7/30 – I think it’s Barley’s Billiards….check the net though to be certain

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:10 pm

@abc – lmao, thought this one was bad enuf “the chick who told me all about her and her kids’ arrest and prison records, then inviting me to her place”, but “The illegal immigrant from Chile that had someone else pretend she was her “, too funny…
@luvbug@kimmie – if this stuff is the norm, im too scared of being single again….think id get left in the dust with the old cat ladies…

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
12:11 pm

Avoid high-cost entertainment if possible to minimize your frustration should the date not go well.

This is a great suggestion, Coolshadow!

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:12 pm

Pool…”Corner Tavern” or Midtown Corner Tavern….corner of Huff and Ellington Blvd. Downstairs underneath Condos. It’s a’ight

Melo

July 16th, 2010
12:12 pm

blue-7/30 ??

which side of town u on?

abc

July 16th, 2010
12:13 pm

Yeah, that Chilean girl was hot, too! If she’d just have been honest, and legal, we probably could have gotten along just fine. I’d have taught her English. :-)

I think that’s one reason she had someone else pose as her, online and on the phone — she was self-conscious about her English skills.

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 16th, 2010
12:13 pm

While I am aware that there are *many* butch chicks that play softball. This chick is not bi or gay – at least not from any vibe that I get.

I played in an extra game with one of her teams a few weeks ago and she said that she owed me a drink for coming out and at the time, I said yes. I changed my mind. That is all.

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
12:16 pm

blue – I think it might be more prevalent than yesteryears, but not the norm at all for those with class. Class never goes out of style.

But yeah, if that was the expectation of all I met, definitely would have to go the cat(or goldfish) route! :lol:

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:16 pm

blue-7/30

I’ve been to two places, but my suggestions wouldn’t be of much help.

— One was a pool hall on West Peachtree (I think…I remember it being in that area), but I can’t remember the name of it. It was adequate.

— Another was a bowling alley that offered pool out in the boonies somewhere. Don’t remember the location of that one either. It was the same…adequate.

I am bad with locations. I’m a chronic passenger.

abc

July 16th, 2010
12:16 pm

…she’d leave me VM like “ABC, why you no call? You no like me?” That’s the part of first dates I really, really didn’t like, was women who would want a second date, and I’d have to let them down. I got really tired of that. Online dating was especially low percentage as far as wanting 2nd dates, the main reason I gave up on that in fairly short order.

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:19 pm

Barley’s Billiards!!

It’s me – Thanks. That’s the name of the first place I was trying to remember.

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:20 pm

Who schedule conference calls at lunch time? If I didn’t think my manager was somewhere watching from NC, I’d drop this call.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:20 pm

@its lurker – I know where Barleys is, always thought ti was just a restaurant tho, gotta see
@melo – im southbound, clayton co way
@luvbug – chronic passenger, lol

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:21 pm

Luvbug, sometimes I walk on my lunchbreak and if I’m REALLY walking 2 or 3 miles, I often pass that plac. Some of the guys here though hang out there…they seem to like.

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 16th, 2010
12:22 pm

For some reason when I read abc’s 11:43 I pictured him looking like an older Alfred Neuman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_E._Neuman

Melo

July 16th, 2010
12:22 pm

@abc??

was online partly the reason why u were scoring on first dates all the time??

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:22 pm

blue – check it out…they like it here.

That Corner Tavern is fairly new. I’ve gone. There’s always a nice crowd starting Thursday through Sunday

Melo

July 16th, 2010
12:23 pm

@abc??

100 % batting average :lol:

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 16th, 2010
12:23 pm

blue – Yeah, alcohol is a diet killer. Crazy calories and then the way it metabolizes in your system….not a good idea when you’re in super serious fitness mode.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:24 pm

@its lurker – im more familiar with the Army store (they have handcuffs for me ;) , and U.S.M.C stuff for the mr), but Barleys does seem to be pretty popular

Melo

July 16th, 2010
12:24 pm

im southbound, clayton co way

@Blue??

sworry,cant help u….. :lol: :lol:

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:25 pm

“ABC, why you no call? You no like me?”

Stop it abc. Just stop it!! LOL

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:26 pm

blue – handcuffs eh?

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
12:30 pm

abc – I remember awhile back you dismissed it when the topic was online dating. Kinda looked down your nose at it. Most of the time you come on like you have such high moral standards – won’t even watch Tiger or other scandalized sports figures because of their loose standards.

Yeah, just what I thought.

abc

July 16th, 2010
12:30 pm

Melo, it did seem like all the online dates were ready to go on the first date, yes. I only did the online thing for a couple months, 10-12 chicks. But it’s always been my experience that there was never any hesitation on the part of chicks on first dates, online or not. I remember one who said, “but you won’t respect me if I do!”, and I said, “hey, I don’t respect you now!”. Bingo.

That one was a long, long time ago! I would sometimes tend to go on rampages in my younger days.

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:30 pm

it’s me – Yeah, I enjoyed myself when I went…casual…easy environment…and the person I went with was both casual and easy to be around, so it was a win win.

It wasn’t crowded when I went though. I imagine it can swing slightly uncomfortable if the crowd is too big and unknown…but that’s me.

CoCo

July 16th, 2010
12:31 pm

@Dan – for Mr. Grumpy – Happy Friday!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FlLH-WmAvc

abc

July 16th, 2010
12:31 pm

Kimmie, I’d say that I don’t comment much on things I don’t know anything about. I was a mean old man, I was an ornery cuss.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:33 pm

@its lurker – can do all kinds of fun things with them, gotta be the steel ones tho, those rubber things are cr@ppy.
had to replace mine last year after some crazy stole mine. bad enuf they took my Wii and my laptop, but who steals handcuffs out of the master bedroom? just ewwww

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:33 pm

Luvbug – No crowds for me either. Too uncomfortable.

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
12:35 pm

Interesting assessment @12:30 Kimmie…I was thinking along those lines,too.

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:36 pm

just ewwww

I know right…he probably smoked them. My welcome mat was missing from my porch and I said, they probably rolled it up and smoked it and my daughter fell out. I say that to everything cause only crackheads(not literally) steal.

No hand cuffies here….don’t like feeling chained (no pun)…LOL

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:36 pm

@abc – I remember one who said, “but you won’t respect me if I do!”, and I said, “hey, I don’t respect you now!”. – what was her expression then, cause i can imagine anyone overhearing you burst out laughing

Melo

July 16th, 2010
12:37 pm

@abc…..10-12 online chicks??

:evil:

Daaamn, u waz a player abc!!!

how many u score on land(onshore) be4 u got the current??

CoolShadow

July 16th, 2010
12:37 pm

What are reasons that you would pass on poking the puddy?…especially if the chick is obvious with it.

@ SlimOne

Although from a utopian standpoint that may seem like it would be great for first dates, the reality is that it would throw up my suspicions, especially if there was no mutually sensual vibing going on. If her persona reads needy and stalker-like, then I’m not taking the bait.

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:38 pm

blue – satin scarf maybe

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:38 pm

@its lurker – lol. once i got over being angry, just had to laugh tho, cause i still have the keys, have fun with those dumb@ss!!!

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 16th, 2010
12:38 pm

had to replace mine last year after some crazy stole mine. bad enuf they took my Wii and my laptop, but who steals handcuffs out of the master bedroom?

Dayum where they do that at?…

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 16th, 2010
12:38 pm

remember awhile back you dismissed it when the topic was online dating. Kinda looked down your nose at it.

@Kimmie I remember that, but I did not want to say anything.

@abc lately you have been talking out your mouth and both sides of your neck. I guess if you blog long enough the truth comes out!

wassup sasssssssssssssssssssssssy

abc

July 16th, 2010
12:39 pm

Blue, she laughed, and it was on.

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:39 pm

I hate to say it, but that crossed my mind too kimmie. How does a person who presents himself so poshly attract such an ‘interesting’ bag of women?

Hell, I’m not hoity-toity, but I have yet attracted a street roamer or real life thug. I’ve not specifically turned them away. They don’t even approach. They look and be like, “Heyal naw. I’ll pass on her”. :lol:

I can’t say that reflects good or bad on me, but how’d he end up in dating scenario with these folks?

For Real

July 16th, 2010
12:39 pm

What is the art of a great first date in your book? – DAA: Drug, Achcohol and a good Alibi

Sex on the first date? – See above

What should you absolutely avoid on a first date? – Running out of gas while driving the get-a-way vehicle

What are reasons that you would pass on poking the puddy?…especially if the chick is obvious with it. – If I believe she is going to cause me problems afterwards. I try to avoid those chicks with the Jesus-Cudda Cat.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:40 pm

@its lurker got those too ;)

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:41 pm

Jesus-Cudda Cat

Please explain

abc

July 16th, 2010
12:41 pm

Now, how can I say anything about online dating if I’ve never done it myself? I think it’s a drag because that’s my experience. What a zoo. It’s shopping for people in an online catalog, only you wind up with sweater when you ordered a golf shirt. False advertising.

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:43 pm

who steals handcuffs out of the master bedroom? just ewwww

Yeah – That’s crazy!!

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
12:44 pm

Hell, I’m not hoity-toity, but I have yet attracted a street roamer or real life thug. I’ve not specifically turned them away. They don’t even approach. They look and be like, “Heyal naw. I’ll pass on her”.

luvbug – Same here, sister!

Dudes know

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:45 pm

@Sassy – clayton co! lol, one of the reasons mr.blue’s ready to go back home now lol. took my laptop, dig camera, handcuffs, sons DS, my Wii and all the games, tried to take my desktop but couldnt get it out of the desk. was reeaaal special, and not birthday special

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
12:46 pm

If I believe she is going to cause me problems afterwards. I try to avoid those chicks with the Jesus-Cudda Cat.

Problems as in she’s crazy and may eventually be obsessed with you, or her hot pocket may be so good that you may be obsessed with her??

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
12:48 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: @ “hot pocket”

I’m gonna have to start using that one….