accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The art of great first dates

Far be it from me to complain about the precious few dates so far this summer. I never want to appear rude or anything but I have to send a public service announcement out:

First dates can make or break your potential romance.

Yeah, I know this seems like a no-brainer, but ask any single person about their most disastrous dates ever. Chances are they were on the one  (and only) first date that failed miserably.

I have wondered why there is so much pressure to impress on a first date. You don’t have to really go all out on some grand gesture. Nor should you pluck ideas from these ridiculous reality tv dating shows.

You know what works best? Normal. No, really! Doing something you have already found to be enjoyable and pleasant. No surprises. No gimmicks. A perfectly normal activity or past time you like to do, but with someone you are really really attracted to.

The more normal the date, the less distracted you are. This way, you can catch any crazy behavior or horrendous manners that the date may display. You could also discover what a complete joy they are to be around.

So let’s dissect first dates today. What is the art of a great first date in your book?

What first date rituals do you go through to increase your chances of being relaxed and ready to charm?

What should you absolutely avoid on a first date?

Do your part people! There are innocent single people being subjected to awful, no good first dates and it is up to us to help them.

Happy Friday!

385 comments Add your comment

abc

July 16th, 2010
11:21 am

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
11:22 am

@Dreams

I had to google oriental Lilly, who is you dating that would know what that is?

We need to hang out buddy, Ion know no chicks like that…

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
11:28 am

I liked ABC’s poem.

First date? Easy.
Meet at venue, no pick up or drive bys.
Light/easy conversation, fun things about you/him or her.
Somewhere fun and enjoyable
Everybody stay upright….no horizontal nothing.
No grouch/negativity.

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
11:32 am

Melo – i’m not blaming dude for playing spades with me at all. So I think you were mistaken when you assumed that I cared. lol I didn’t type all the minor details of our conversation but in response to your post….OTAY ;-) Whenever a dude is last minute all the time on asking you to do something, you best believe you were not his first choice. We know where each other stands and it’s definitely not on the active batters list. More like the injured reserves… :lol:

‘Actually, it’s dinner, a movie, AND a 30+ minute drive. If you live down the street, then you have to do dinner and a movie 2 times’

Dreams – you have me cracking up! :lol: You know how they have those little wallet sized tip cards that show you if your bill is X amount then your tip should be Y…well I guess you need to mail me one for the DATE to ARSE calculations card.

DATE
Coffee/drinks = church hug
Dinner = reverse church hug & a kiss
Dinner & Movie = hand job while in theater or afterwards on ride home
Dinner,Movie, & Drinks = Tonsilectomy
Dinner,Special event, drinks = back seat of my jeep action
Vacation = PUDDY-Free-for-ALL Black Card

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
11:32 am

He said he asked all his friend their opinion and went on to say he couldn’t believe he made him drive all the way back home after going out and didn’t give him any bootay

Amazing! You gotta now give out azz because somebody drive 45 minutes out of their way?

Leggs

July 16th, 2010
11:34 am

“1) If you’re not sure whether you’re going to get some (at least on this date) it can help prevent you from acting too thirsty & killing your chances of ever getting some.”

I appreciate what you’re saying and again it makes sense. BUT, it seems like you’re saying if one doesn’t pre-cum, controlling the “horny” factor is difficult to do. Sorry, I had to laugh at the visual of a man twitching in his pants being all fidgety. Is this really hard for men to do! :wink:

@Melo ~ was in the elevator when this guy asked about my workload today and if I was able to help him. Told him I had a lot to do, that I was getting a stomach ache. He said “well, the angst of having a lot of work to do on a Friday may contribute to your stomach ache.” I laughed out loud and he looked puzzled. Had to tell him I know someone who uses the word “angst” often!!

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
11:34 am

I had to google oriental Lilly, who is you dating that would know what that is?

Dan – They were used in my youngest brother’s wedding. I see them in nicer floral arrangements.

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
11:36 am

@Slim/Lurker

Now really, if dude had said “meet me half way”, then he’s either cheap or don’t wanna ‘chase’.

So he makes the (required) extra effort to drive 45 minutes one way and then can’t get no love? An offer to the couch? Something?

Y’all are killin me…

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
11:37 am

It’s lurker…the funny part was the fact he went back to discuss with his boys if he was crazy to feel shafted for not getting any arse. He said all his friends agreed that she was wrong for making him go back home with blue ballz.

Fellas, do you REALLY expect to get some on a first date?

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 16th, 2010
11:38 am

Off Topic – I’ve been telling this chick that I play softball with that I would hang out with her for drinks sometime. Now that she’s actually texted me and asked me to hang out this weekend, I’m realizing that I don’t actually like her enough to spend time with her outside of softball.

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
11:39 am

Ummm, halfway? Azz? Halfway? Azz. I’ll take the “meet me halfway” Alec.

Heck no. No love on the first day….cause you drove 45 minutes. Heck I’d rather just give you some ON THE FIRST DATE cause I like you. But not cause I’m obligated cause you drove for a date in which you participated as well.

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
11:40 am

Dan – my 11:39 was for you :)

Slim – It’s getting cwazier by the minute

Rick James

July 16th, 2010
11:40 am

Fck yo’ couch!

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
11:40 am

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
11:41 am

‘Now really, if dude had said “meet me half way”, then he’s either cheap or don’t wanna ‘chase’’

Dan – I am perfectly fine with MEETING the dude at the spot we plan to go to OR meet up with him at some location then ride with him on to our destination. There isn’t really much to do in Conyers so i don’t expect a dude to drive out to timbucktoo just to turn around back towards the city, THEN have to bring me back that way. So if I can drive to meet up with a dude at, lets say, Atlantic Station and is able to make it back to my crib…then a grown azz man can drive 45 mins for a date, then take his butt back home afterwards without the expectation that you gonna spend the night. Just sayin’

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
11:41 am

Fellas, do you REALLY expect to get some on a first date?

Slim – The less-impressive dudes do I guess, especially since some women have set the bar so for the rest of the ladies out here.

:shock: smh

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
11:42 am

@SC

Go on the date…

@Lurker

I figured. And that’s prolly the reason he went home with desert d@@#k, she’en like him.

abc

July 16th, 2010
11:43 am

Well, first dates where I didn’t get some, I always thought it was because I didn’t want it. Plenty of first dates, I did. I can’t say I expected it, but I didn’t expect not to, either. A few times a chick would tell me “I was starting to think you never would!”. For the most part, I always found the girl to be pretty much ready even before I was.

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 16th, 2010
11:43 am

The DATE!?!?! Huh???
Methinks you misread my post.

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
11:44 am

He either misread or changing topics..LOL

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
11:45 am

“she’en like him.”

That works

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
11:46 am

@SexyCool – lmao, how you gonna get out of that one?
@its lurker – agreed, obligated? makes it seem more like that probation period when you start a new job than a date.

Melo

July 16th, 2010
11:46 am

Fellas, do you REALLY expect to get some on a first date?

@Slim??

depends on how u appeared to him??

and a guy can only ask!

45 minutes tho aint that much of a drive….it takes me about 35 minutes to work,in good traffic..so an extra ten minutes?? i cant expect no bootey for that unless from jump, when we met,u were smelling of and dressed like a wang and puddsy smoothie! :lol: :lol:

@Leggs LOL

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
11:46 am

No “he” didn’t

You’re playing softball with another woman, she asks you out for drinks? What do you think that is? Keep in mind that it is 2010….

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 16th, 2010
11:48 am

blue730 – I just texted her back and told her that I’m off alcohol for the rest of this month because I’m trying to reach a weight loss goal (which is the truth).

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
11:48 am

Well, first dates where I didn’t get some, I always thought it was because I didn’t want it. Plenty of first dates, I did. I can’t say I expected it, but I didn’t expect not to, either. A few times a chick would tell me “I was starting to think you never would!”. For the most part, I always found the girl to be pretty much ready even before I was.

Every bit of this is funny to me and seems slightly unbelievable. I know all women aren’t saints, but I can’t imagine women throwing it out everywhichaway being the norm.

Not saying that you’re saying it’s the norm, but that’s how it reads on my end.

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 16th, 2010
11:49 am

LMAO – Dan, *YOU* stoopid.

Melo

July 16th, 2010
11:50 am

SexyCool ??

how about telling her that ull be out with your Dude this weekend..u kill two birds with one stone in case shes a switch hitter.

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
11:51 am

Dan – That’s the misadventures of living in Atlanta. EVERYTHING is probably 45 minutes away, depending where you live & where you’re going. Heck, I WISH my commute to work was just 45 minutes away! So no, it’s not like dude had to walk 10 miles in the snow! Even then, it would have been his choice.

A stand-up, classy(Oriental lillie bringing) dude isn’t going to expect a woman to put out on the first date just because he drove 45 minutes or 2 hours and yall know it. He had the choice of either driving 45 minutes or keeping his dating options around the corner if he’s that tired. And yeah, unless he’s stuck in a snowstorm, uh, no couch either.

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
11:51 am

‘Well, first dates where I didn’t get some, I always thought it was because I didn’t want it’

abc – I’m not exactly why but this is hilarious…lol

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
11:52 am

@Melo

UNless she wants to play on that team…what part of 2010 aren’t y’all getting?

Melo

July 16th, 2010
11:53 am

For the most part, I always found the girl to be pretty much ready even before I was.

@abc??

were these prostitutes,loose women or upstanding chics ur age coming outta good homes??

Melo

July 16th, 2010
11:54 am

what part of 2010 aren’t y’all getting?

@Dan..

I miss the qstion…UNless she wants to play on that team are u quoting me here?? I never typed that??

SlimOne

July 16th, 2010
11:55 am

abc/melo/fellas

What are reasons that you would pass on poking the puddy?…especially if the chick is obvious with it.

Purple Rain

July 16th, 2010
11:55 am

Just finished a round, the wife is at the Spa and my employer thinks that I am working from home. LOL, no just checking emails to give the impression that I am. :)

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
11:56 am

Luvbug – your 11:48 – I agree.

But yet, we have such an “air” about ourselves at times!

smh

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
11:57 am

blue 7/30 – makes it seem more like that probation period when you start a new job than a date.

Exactly

abc

July 16th, 2010
11:59 am

Slim, it brings to mind the chick who told me all about her and her kids’ arrest and prison records, then inviting me to her place. She turned one way and I turned the other coming out of that parking lot. Or one where she was really pretty and sweet, just not my type personality-wise, and I thought it’d be wrong to take advantage. Lots of times, a man just plain doesn’t want it from a first date — especially from a first date! The illegal immigrant from Chile that had someone else pretend she was her until we actually met was a doll, but I didn’t want to deal with her immigration status — that’s probably the biggest online fraud I encountered. The bombshell from the gym that couldn’t stop talking about herself was just a turnoff, it wouldn’t have been worth having to listen to her talk that much more. There are lots of reasons why.

Purple Rain

July 16th, 2010
11:59 am

Slim, If she were trying to just put it on me, I jut would not want it. I like to the first time to feel like some sort of achievement by me, not a gift or mandate.

Luvbug

July 16th, 2010
11:59 am

Kimmie – It may be true. I’m learning day by day that the norm on this blog is somewhat different than what I experience in my life. I’m obviously disconnected. LOL

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
11:59 am

@melo

Unless she wants to “play on the team” [of SC and her guy]….come on man!

@Kimmie

If she can expect, hope for, flowers; I can have my expectations too. Nah!

@Slim

She’s either not cute, breaf stank, or the dude hasn’t had enough alcohol….<– only 3 reasons

i'm swiss™

July 16th, 2010
12:00 pm

Melo — In case you haven’t noticed, I have no shame. So, yeah, I’d discuss that w/ pretty much anyone & they can think whatever they want… ;-) :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 16th, 2010
12:01 pm

it brings to mind the chick who told me all about her and her kids’ arrest and prison records, then inviting me to her place. She turned one way and I turned the other coming out of that parking lot.

LOL

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
12:01 pm

If she can expect, hope for, flowers; I can have my expectations too.

Melo – Then he needs to KEEP HOPE ALIVE! :lol:

Melo

July 16th, 2010
12:02 pm

What are reasons that you would pass on poking the puddy?…especially if the chick is obvious with it.

@SlimOne??

I wld not poke a prositute’s puddy unless I initiated the transaction…condsider that in the same vein with a chic I am with…..

I personally wld want to poke the puddy that I pursued and gave indications first that I wanted it and then got the affirmitive response….

Anything unsolicited and downright given on a platter to me is suspicious,no matter that she was as genuinely thirsty as I was…..

If she is my girlfriend,thats different.

blue-7/30

July 16th, 2010
12:04 pm

@SC – good one…side note – dropping the alcohol really works for yuor diet? ive heard thats plenty of empty calories, but am partial to me peach margaritas and tequila shots when we head out….

speaking of heading out, anybody know a good pool hall? my pool cue is gathering dust……

kimmie

July 16th, 2010
12:04 pm

I’m learning day by day that the norm on this blog is somewhat different than what I experience in my life. I’m obviously disconnected. LOL

Luvbug – Girl, naw, I bet a lot of this is probably wishful thinking!

But yeah, I guess I’m disconnected too! And don’t feel a bit bad about it!LOL!

Dan - simply...

July 16th, 2010
12:06 pm

@7/30

It’s a joint on Peachtree right by the military surplus store, can’t think of the name.

CoolShadow

July 16th, 2010
12:07 pm

What is the art of a great first date in your book?

Engaging in simple activities in which you can interact with your date to confirm your initial impression and to see if there will be a second date. Avoid high-cost entertainment if possible to minimize your frustration should the date not go well. Strike a balance by not coming off as a cheapskate but not flossing like you’re a trust fund baby.

What should you absolutely avoid on a first date?

Movies unless it’s one you both want to see. If it’s dinner & a movie, do the movie first so you can discuss the movie afterwards. Also, don’t make the event too exotic if the person doesn’t reflect the openness to your activity, i.e., if she’s a strict chicken & waffles girl you might want to reconsider that Mediterranean restaurant.

Melo

July 16th, 2010
12:08 pm

@Dan..i hear u..maybe Scool shldnt be close minded about it either….good fun! :lol: