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Dating: Time to break your deal breakers?

Single people we need a reality check. I include myself because I have been guilty of adhering to random dating deal breakers. Funny how I seem to meet someone really great who I have chemistry with but hit the brakes (no pun) when there is an issue with something about them.

It’s not just about having a “type” we like to say we prefer, it’s more than that. We extend our “I don’t do” lists so far that we talk ourselves out of a potential…something. We never find out what that something is because we don’t let it go further. We figure the deal breaker is protecting us from heartbreak, disappointment, confusion. Um, yeah… how’s that working out for you? (Said in my best Dr. Phil voice)

So let’s reconsider some deal breakers that we have that probably don’t really belong on a list of reasons to rule out someone, shall we? I will go first:

I never dated someone unemployed. Now, I am not trolling Georgia Department of Labor for dates or anything. I would however, give a guy a second look if he seems like a kind person. Circumstances arise that may cause some people to be in transition. Does that mean they aren’t dateable?

Ok, your turn. What dating deal breaker are you willing to reevaluate?

A quick poll of my single friends and I found that their deal breakers included: someone with full custody of their children; someone less educated; someone unfit or doesn’t work out regularly. What do you think? Are these legit or kind of ridiculous?

It’s almost as if we are meeting and dating, but when we spot a “human” thing, we just check out on the date or relationship.  Then less effort is made to take things further.  I can speak intelligently about this because I have done this too many times than I even want to admit to myself, let along you guys.  I am working on it though, this counts for something, right? Personal growth points maybe? It’s all part of the dating process, I think. Live and learn.

I just think that single men and women could both use a healthy dose of humility. Do you believe that men are more willing to overlook their “deal breakers” then women? Wait, do men still have dating deal breakers!?

Happy Thursday!

430 comments Add your comment

abc

July 15th, 2010
3:40 pm

The practice would be to ask her father for permission to ask her.

I don’t see as I’ve proved anyone’s point, Sassy. Just the same, while it seems that over 35 is a pretty good guess as to whether one has aged out of marital likelihood, I agree with Lucinda as well, i.e., just because a person isn’t married doesn’t mean they’re unhappy. I was happy when I was single, and it had absolutely nothing to do with character or even presence — or absence — of women. Fact is, I found first dates (as in the first 5 or 10! ha) to be kind of a drag, not that enjoyable really.

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:41 pm

Melo, I won’t even give him the benefit of the doubt you give, the cultural stuff. He just came off straight wacko, and always does. And there are plenty regular Americans that do the “ask daddy” thing first, I hear about them all the time, happened with some of my friends.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:41 pm

@kimmie ~ yep, forgot about that because I don’t do it. That’s my child’s responsibility.

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:43 pm

I am – Good for you.

Be careful, all I’m saying.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:47 pm

Melo ~ you acting like I’m 12. :lol: I was wondering can you ask her to marry, then go and ask the father for her hand in marriage? Do people put the cart before the horse some time or should you always ask the father before asking the daughter? What if you ask the daughter first, then her father, father says hell no and you find a horse’s head in your bed. What do you do next. Her heart is broken because you asked her first, you want to skip town now cuz you deathly afraid of her father, you don’t want to elope because again, you’re deathly afraid of her father.

So, guess it’s best to ask the father first before getting anyone hopes raised and lives cut short!!

Melo

July 15th, 2010
3:48 pm

And there are plenty regular Americans that do the “ask daddy” thing first

@Kimmie!

I wld expect that (as regular) from my dghters unless they have gone hollyweird and down right rebelled!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:48 pm

Next song….Salt-N-Pepa PUSH IT…..

Melo

July 15th, 2010
3:50 pm

Melo ~ you acting like I’m 12.

@Leggs..sorry, really thight u asked a legit qstion..no wonder the elaborate explanation.

My bad….woe my ink! :lol:

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:51 pm

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:51 pm

wld expect that (as regular) from my dghters unless they have gone hollyweird and down right rebelled!

Melo – I know, cause you don’t play!LOL!! Don’t scare all ya daughter’s suitors off, lest they end up “cat ladies”!LOL!!

It’s a sweet tradition, tho.

Well gang, I’m off. It’s been a real pleasure today. Don’t know when I’ve laughed so hard since watching the Hangover! Made the afternoon go by quickly!

Peace!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:52 pm

This is my first fresh peach all summer. So juicy and sweet!

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
3:57 pm

My point was that I didn’t believe what you said about the over 35 and not being married and oh lawd what us gone do now cause ain’t no more good men around. I wanted some stats to back up what you were saying b/c it sounded incredulously inaccurate…and you had no stats and that was my point. I knew you didn’t but I digress. Do you xyz. :lol:

Leggs there is a guy who sells produce here on Thursdays and today he had peaches 5 for $2 and they are HUGE n sweet…OMG.

Gotto go read y’all tomorrow.

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
3:59 pm

headed home, gotta tell mr.blue about today, sure he could use a good laugh too. ttfn, ta ta for now

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
4:00 pm

Now, I want a plum. A peach and a plum is my offical start to summer…this heat is nothing compared to that tradition.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
4:01 pm

Melo

July 15th, 2010
4:02 pm

mr.blue ??

thats an assistant to ur man blue-7/30??

I know him :lol: :lol:

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
4:05 pm

A plum would be nice…

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
4:05 pm

so silly melo, lol….nite Leggs

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
4:06 pm

Did Stan the Silly Man leave? I just went and got a moon pie…oh well, back to work.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
4:06 pm

@lurker_1 ~ just read your quote. You did fine. Didn’t mean to catch you off guard, but everyone is caught off guard when I ask (lol)!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
4:07 pm

BP Says No More Oil Going Into Gulf – BP says oil has stopped leaking into the Gulf for the first time since April.

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
4:09 pm

Do you xyz. ROTFL :grin:

I was wondering if he 1-2-3

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 15th, 2010
4:18 pm

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
4:21 pm

Thanks SexyC ~ I’m going to register. Wait, that’s her Sweet 16 B-day party!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 15th, 2010
4:33 pm

Afternoon All!! Hope everyone is doing well!

Just popped in to say whats up! Been on my grind!!!

Deal breaker to reevaluate : dating someone unemployed! Since I am not that unemployed person, I have a somewhat-within-reason outlook on dating an unemployed individual.

anonymousella

July 15th, 2010
4:49 pm

@steven q 1. no, it’s weird that you care about your sister-in-law being almost 30 and unmarried. and keep posting about it. repeatedly. and about other 30-something women and how single they are. you keep harping on 30. not 29. not 35. but 30.

2. the longer you wait, the more likely it is that you probably don’t care about whether you get married. which makes me wonder why *YOU’RE* so concerned about it if *SHE* hasn’t made it a priority. and again: i will refer you to the NYT. lots of newly married 30-somethings. new ones published every week. i know a half-dozen women who all got married after the age of 30…over 35 even. trust me, it happens.

3. no. men over 30 *do not* have their pick of younger and younger women — unless they’re rich, famous or immature. for real: ask a 27 year old woman about dating a 35 year old single man. she’ll want to know what’s wrong with him. at least, that was me at 27. and i know i wasn’t the only one.

4. … or they fell for that marriage okey doke, got hitched at 24 and divorced/dumped at 33. i know a few folks like that. men, mostly.

5. and how do you know your future sister-in-law isn’t one of those women? saying “i want to get married,” and acting like it are *not* the same thing.

Melo

July 15th, 2010
5:00 pm

nite Dealers,losers and winners!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
5:03 pm

End of Day Quote given by Raqi (who asked me to post for her)

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. That way some ”friends” won’t know you suspect them to be enemies and that you are keeping close to watch them. It’s better that way.” – Raqi

Good night!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
5:06 pm

I live by that quote!!!!

lurker_1

July 15th, 2010
5:08 pm

Thanks Leggs, you are the blog moderator…that’s a good thing