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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: Time to break your deal breakers?

Single people we need a reality check. I include myself because I have been guilty of adhering to random dating deal breakers. Funny how I seem to meet someone really great who I have chemistry with but hit the brakes (no pun) when there is an issue with something about them.

It’s not just about having a “type” we like to say we prefer, it’s more than that. We extend our “I don’t do” lists so far that we talk ourselves out of a potential…something. We never find out what that something is because we don’t let it go further. We figure the deal breaker is protecting us from heartbreak, disappointment, confusion. Um, yeah… how’s that working out for you? (Said in my best Dr. Phil voice)

So let’s reconsider some deal breakers that we have that probably don’t really belong on a list of reasons to rule out someone, shall we? I will go first:

I never dated someone unemployed. Now, I am not trolling Georgia Department of Labor for dates or anything. I would however, give a guy a second look if he seems like a kind person. Circumstances arise that may cause some people to be in transition. Does that mean they aren’t dateable?

Ok, your turn. What dating deal breaker are you willing to reevaluate?

A quick poll of my single friends and I found that their deal breakers included: someone with full custody of their children; someone less educated; someone unfit or doesn’t work out regularly. What do you think? Are these legit or kind of ridiculous?

It’s almost as if we are meeting and dating, but when we spot a “human” thing, we just check out on the date or relationship.  Then less effort is made to take things further.  I can speak intelligently about this because I have done this too many times than I even want to admit to myself, let along you guys.  I am working on it though, this counts for something, right? Personal growth points maybe? It’s all part of the dating process, I think. Live and learn.

I just think that single men and women could both use a healthy dose of humility. Do you believe that men are more willing to overlook their “deal breakers” then women? Wait, do men still have dating deal breakers!?

Happy Thursday!

430 comments Add your comment

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:10 pm

i’m rolling over here….Stan poked holes in his own theory. He doing the backstroke and retracting cause he assumed from reading every dang body on here is single…how narrowminded is that. He didn’t know folks are married, divorces, working on #2,3,4…whatever. Holes in his theory. You should NEVER make a blanket statement or assumption that all folks are a certain way cause life sux.

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
3:11 pm

Let us pray no woman is going to get with these men.

hope you don’t get with any of them either….just moist.

Kym

July 15th, 2010
3:11 pm

@Leggs..can’t you just hear Steven cheering some old widow or divorcee on., “YOU CAN DO IT CAT LADY!!” YOU CAN DO IT!!

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
3:12 pm

lurker, never assumed that at all. I have said many times here my comments are for those are never married. I know many here, myself included, are divorcees.

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:12 pm

Steve when is the date? Are we invited?

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
3:13 pm

Dirty Di you dead wrong for that 3:09 :lol:

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
3:13 pm

myself included, are divorcees.

Stick a fork in me…pleeease.

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
3:14 pm

Still working on the details lurker, sometime summer of 2011. Will let you know!!!

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:14 pm

I don’t have statistics to back up the 35 and over thing, it just seems that way to me.

BLOG REGULARS – remember this from abc the next time he goes spouting off his “statistics”!!LOL!!!

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:14 pm

I gotta mute my phone (conference call), cause I’m laughing so loud.

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
3:15 pm

@Kym – d@mn it Kym, didnt i say no more laughing, ROFL….i can play it off as a sneeze……

@Leggs – Sheila E….Awesome….thats what i forgot to put in my Ipod….

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:16 pm

sometime summer of 2011

Per yesterday’s topic, why the long “almost” engagement? Layaway plan? Hummmmm!LOL!!!

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:16 pm

Stan the man – sometime summer of 2011

well that is an “almost”…that’s next to never given you’re giving out advice and helping your potential SIL. I though you was almost married, like this year. Does she know you’re almost married to her? Does she’s know ya’ll getting married next summer or are you just saying that for the sake of your ex and all cat ladies?

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:17 pm

@Kym ~ why you go and do that? I had just come from the water fountain calm and collected then I read your 3:11. If I was much older, I’d probably would need to change my Depends!!!!

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:18 pm

For your sake Stan, I hope your almost bride knows. If she rejects your almost weeding, a blow like that can be devastating.

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
3:19 pm

Kimmie – I’d put the brakes on too, if my guy (self proclaimed fiance) was obsessed with my sister. :lol:

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
3:19 pm

I said almost engaged. I have to wait to ask her father, their tradition, and not sure next time I will see him. After that engagement will be official.

The plan now is to be officially engaged whenever we get past this father thing, might not be until Xmas, and get married next summer.

Glad you are so interested.

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
3:20 pm

Sassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy/blue

what about men, do they have any flaws that keep them from being saved from the despair of singledom?

I guess they will get a few pit bulls to fight, maybe pop a viagra here and there ,and find a lady with some cats to party with while as he clean his dentures and pick his toe jam

Melo

July 15th, 2010
3:21 pm

Congrats Steven Q. Stanley!!

u could have posted something yesterday,come to think off it….

so u have already done the “will u marry me stuff?? and she said YES YES YES??

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
3:21 pm

@its me… oh wow, can you imagine if this one turns him down….just imagine what the posts will be like then….

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
3:21 pm

Steven Q. what is your race, and what is her race? you are not getting past her daddy. I don’t see a daddy letting his daughter get a pie man

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
3:22 pm

Good day to all, may you all find happiness. See ya next time.

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 15th, 2010
3:22 pm

Since the blog today is obviously Comedy Central….check this…

MEXICAN WORDS!! The teacher told pepito to make sentences with his spelling words:

1. *cheese*
Maria likes me,but cheese fat.
2. *mushroom*
When all my family gets in the car, there isn’t mushroom.
3. *shoulder*
My friend didn’t no how to make tacos, so I shoulder.
4. *texas*
My friend always texas me forwards.
5. *herpes*
Me and my friend shared a pizza, I got my piece and she got herpes.
6. *july*
Ju told me ju were going to the store, and july to me!! julyer!!
7. *rectum*
I had two cars but my wife rectum.
8. *chicken*
I was going to the store with my wife but chicken go by herself.
9. *wheelchair*
We only have one soda but its ok wheelchair.
10. *chicken wing* My mom plays the lottery so chicken wing.
11. *liver*
A bully was messing wit my sister and i told him to liver alone
12. *body wash*
I wanted to go to the bar but no body wash my kids.
13. *budweiser*
That woman over there has a nice body, budwieser her face so ugly?

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:22 pm

so u have already done the “will u marry me stuff?? and she said YES YES YES??

Melo, read his 3:19, he said “almost” engaged. He hasn’t even asked her yet!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:22 pm

@blue ~ Sheila E is a must to have on musical rotation. I can play the air drums right along with her bad a$$!

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:23 pm

I said almost engaged. I have to wait to ask her father, their tradition, and not sure next time I will see him. After that engagement will be official. The plan now is to be officially engaged whenever we get past this father thing, might not be until Xmas, and get married next summer.

Stan, seriously, you are NOT engaged. You’re giving out advice?! Cut it out.

Kym

July 15th, 2010
3:24 pm

LMAOOOO!!!! There are just no words.!!! Steven Q take a bow..you are the BLOG BUSTER OF THE WEEK!!!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:25 pm

“so u have already done the “will u marry me stuff?? and she said YES”

Wouldn’t that be backwards??? I thought he asked the father for his daughter’s hand in marriage then proposes to her. How does that thing work anyway????

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:25 pm

SCool – Cut it out!!! :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:25 pm

so u have already done the “will u marry me stuff?? and she said YES YES YES?? Ummmm, obviously not…HE’S NOT ENGAGED. See that’s why you can’t believe everything people write.

blue/730, that’s not gonna be pretty if he’s turned down. Good thing we’re all virtual, he just might snapped. Right now he seems awfully depressed.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:25 pm

@DirtyD ~ exactly why I don’t want an old man! That was funny!

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
3:25 pm

mr.blue will be glad to hear he saved me from a perilous, cat filled future…

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:26 pm

you are the BLOG BUSTER OF THE WEEK!!!

I ain’t heard nothing on this call….I AM ROLLING

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
3:26 pm

Stan does have a point about the number of eligible partners decreasing the older you get. When you are in your 20s, more people in your age range are ‘eligible’ than when you are in your 40s, or 50s. That’s just true.

HOWEVER, given the several BILLION people on the planet, even if 80% of the people in your age range are ineligible for whatever reason, that still leaves many, many to connect with. It might require more effort as you get older, but they are definitely out there.

And, I think Stan also has a point about SOME people having too many unimportant criteria for a suitable mate. That’s not the exclusive domain of women, plently of men focus on unimportant things as well.

HOWEVER, to suggest that a woman who is single — regardless of her age — is necessarily desperate and miserable is misguided and likely born of a lack of exposure to dynamic, health and happy women in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and beyond.

Poor Stan.

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:27 pm

Stan does have a point

Not you too, Lucinda! :shock:

Kym

July 15th, 2010
3:28 pm

I have to wait to ask her father, their tradition, and not sure next time I will see him. After that engagement will be official. The plan now is to be officially engaged whenever we get past this father thing, might not be until Xmas, and get married next summer.<<<Translation Russian mail order bride..

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:29 pm

Translation Russian mail order bride..

bwah ha ha ha…cut it out pleeease

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
3:31 pm

I hate I didn’t a moon pie to eat….reading today is like being at the movies…almost….”ALMOST” Stan

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
3:32 pm

@kimmie but he does, to a limited extent. I can seperate his “I’m going to save everybody I think needs saving” mindset from the one or two things that are true.

Noted though: If he REALLY wanted to ask her father, he could call him or MAKE IT HAPPEN to see him face-to-face before December.

I smell a rat.

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:32 pm

Why does it gotta be cats? Can’t it be goldfish?

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
3:32 pm

I don’t have statistics to back up the 35 and over thing, it just seems that way to me.

Thanks for proving my point and saying so….some of your counterparts should take note and follow suit…

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:32 pm

Ouch, just bit my tongue with mail order bride…please stop…I so want to collect another paycheck!!!

Kym

July 15th, 2010
3:33 pm

I’m out folks good night!!

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
3:34 pm

@kimmie ~ go sit down…goldfish take maintenance, cleaning the fish tank, etc. Cats take care of themselves…all you have to do is throw some toys around, a bowl of food and a bowl of water…DONE!

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:34 pm

Lucinda, that stuff you mentioned is common sense though. We hear that stuff on here so much, till we’re blue in the face! Even a broken clock is right twice out of the day!

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
3:35 pm

Leggs, don’t forget cleaning out the litter box!LOL!!!

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
3:36 pm

@kimmie – i could go for goldfish, got an older friend (divorced, hmmmm) who has bowls of betta fish all around her house. in each tank she’s thrown a piece of jewelry the ex gave her (including her diamond engagement ring). he gets sooo po’d every time he comes to get the kids and sees the fish swimming over it, lol

Melo

July 15th, 2010
3:36 pm

How does that thing work anyway????

@Leggs??

from that asking for the “father’ hand” stuff,he sounds Indian or may be Middle eastern.”" dont know..

In my culture,if u dating, at some point u interract with the parents and if they dont like u,they have already told the girl…….so there is possibly no more asking for the father’s hand in marriage any,more coz its DONE.

However,all things being equal and all families are happy,u can go ahead an propose to ur girl however way u want to,if u want(I never did it like that,u know that Already right) and then others may even have an engagement party…then u arrange to have the customary stuff where all parties meet for the bridal price stuff….

on that day,the parents of the female may insists or demand that they want a white wedding for their girl…..

U then start the ball rolling to do that.

Otherwise,after the custoamry wedding stuff,its a Wrap and u go to the courthouse if u want just so u make it legit in the “white men’s eyes”(meaning,for official purposes)

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
3:38 pm

Steven Q. please don’t leave yet…I have your award. You made my pie list!

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
3:39 pm

Kimmie at your 1:50
Mark my words: I am not easy to find.