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Dating: Time to break your deal breakers?

Single people we need a reality check. I include myself because I have been guilty of adhering to random dating deal breakers. Funny how I seem to meet someone really great who I have chemistry with but hit the brakes (no pun) when there is an issue with something about them.

It’s not just about having a “type” we like to say we prefer, it’s more than that. We extend our “I don’t do” lists so far that we talk ourselves out of a potential…something. We never find out what that something is because we don’t let it go further. We figure the deal breaker is protecting us from heartbreak, disappointment, confusion. Um, yeah… how’s that working out for you? (Said in my best Dr. Phil voice)

So let’s reconsider some deal breakers that we have that probably don’t really belong on a list of reasons to rule out someone, shall we? I will go first:

I never dated someone unemployed. Now, I am not trolling Georgia Department of Labor for dates or anything. I would however, give a guy a second look if he seems like a kind person. Circumstances arise that may cause some people to be in transition. Does that mean they aren’t dateable?

Ok, your turn. What dating deal breaker are you willing to reevaluate?

A quick poll of my single friends and I found that their deal breakers included: someone with full custody of their children; someone less educated; someone unfit or doesn’t work out regularly. What do you think? Are these legit or kind of ridiculous?

It’s almost as if we are meeting and dating, but when we spot a “human” thing, we just check out on the date or relationship.  Then less effort is made to take things further.  I can speak intelligently about this because I have done this too many times than I even want to admit to myself, let along you guys.  I am working on it though, this counts for something, right? Personal growth points maybe? It’s all part of the dating process, I think. Live and learn.

I just think that single men and women could both use a healthy dose of humility. Do you believe that men are more willing to overlook their “deal breakers” then women? Wait, do men still have dating deal breakers!?

Happy Thursday!

430 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
2:21 pm

Aww dammit I didn’t do the strike through right :???:

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
2:21 pm

Slim, you have the position. You must provide your own safety gear and goggles. LOL We will be getting on the road around 4pm, don’t worry about packing any clothes. LOL

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
2:22 pm

If you don’t want my help, would it not be easy to simply ignore my comments?

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
2:22 pm

He gets crazier by the minute. I bet there are cats all over the place where he lives!

STOP it I say…. :lol:

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
2:23 pm

You could do us one better and not type that moistness…

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
2:23 pm

By right, can you give advice on heading down a path or road that you’ve not done yet? He’s almost married but is the voice of doom and gloom to women that are not? He’s selling wooden nickels.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
2:24 pm

He wants he sister-in-law. Steven are you the same guy who said a 35 year old man wants an 25 year old woman?

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
2:24 pm

Almost married = almost pregnant…either you is or you ain’t. Give advice from one lane of the other.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
2:25 pm

Steven, she is just calling you moist. That means gay.

Melo, where is BlackMagicWoman? I hope her B.O.B. did not get the best of her.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
2:25 pm

It’s me, LOL

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
2:26 pm

“almost” you all are funny. LOL

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
2:26 pm

Pretty obvious there is some truth to my comments that are representative of some here. A lot of eyes opened and they don’t like what they see. I guess when you live in a delusional fantasy land that is bound to happen.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
2:27 pm

I will retract my statement about a “slur on her character” because you did’t say anything about her other than her age!

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
2:28 pm

Purple, personal attacks on me do not bother me, she is free to say whatever she wants about me. If it makes her feel better about herself,. I will gladly be her punching bag. As I said, I am here to help. Pretty obvious from the responses to my comments, they accurately describe quite a few women here.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
2:28 pm

Dude, stop thinking you are the shyt. Everyone is bored and you are an easy target, until the next screwup. You are spewing more crap than that oil spill in the gulf. Give it a rest already.

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
2:29 pm

As I said, take all the shots you want, they don’t bother me.

Dirty Diana

July 15th, 2010
2:30 pm

I would rather have a tabby cat than listen to you whine all the time. Do you want cheese with that whine?

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
2:31 pm

death by masturbation; the return of Capn Save-a-ho, whos alter ego secretly wants his SIL, you all have been busy….

Melo

July 15th, 2010
2:31 pm

where is BlackMagicWoman?

@PR..Lurking proly!

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 15th, 2010
2:31 pm

Okay…HAD to jump in on this Stanley comment – “Most women dream about walking down the aisle the day they take their first steps.”

Um, yeah…I wanted to get married before I could talk?!?!?!? Now THAT is comedy.

Kym

July 15th, 2010
2:31 pm

StevenQ..when is your wedding. I mean you getting married right..are you in the count down? Did the wife to be make the running of the brides?

abc

July 15th, 2010
2:32 pm

Average age upon first marriage in the U.S. is 28 for men, 25 for women. Global averages are up to 5 years older in a few places, but for the most part, are about the same as the U.S.

While Steven Q. Stanley may seem a bit impolite and out there, there’s some truth to what he says. I’d say if you reach 35 and haven’t married yet, chances are pretty slim that you ever will.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
2:32 pm

You have to master something before you give any advice on succeeding that same something. Otherwise, you are delusional.

I have to leave, ciao

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ”
~ Ferris Bueller

Kym

July 15th, 2010
2:35 pm

Bueller.. Bueller… Have a good trip Purple Rain..bring me back a present.

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
2:36 pm

Thanks abc, i find it funny that people here so easily dismiss facts.

SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.

July 15th, 2010
2:36 pm

Stanley – Perhaps your “Tips for Old Ass Unmarried Chicks Over 30″ was posted on a day that I did not blog.

As I have yet to see any of this actual *help*, would you be so kind as to re-state this unquestionable knowledge that you seem to somehow possess regarding the state of single females everywhere?

(Because so far, all I’m seeing from you are attacks and snide remarks with no solid basis or supporting facts.)

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
2:37 pm

Too funny, we’re back to wooden nickels, stagecoaches and elixir to make you more desirable to the opposite sex (voodoo juice).

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
2:37 pm

You looking for a invite Kym, maybe you will meet someone? I don’t have many single friends left though.

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
2:39 pm

the return of Capn Save-a-ho, whos alter ego secretly wants his SIL

Yeah that’s probably what it is…he went after the older sister and got shut/shot down so he went at/for someone young n naive enough to actually believe what he’s saying. You know it’s usually like that when there’s a big age difference involved..you know the type of difference that makes people wonder if he’s her daddy when they’re in public :lol:

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
2:39 pm

What’s that story suppose to prove?

She did not die from being single or shock from the vibrator. It was a cardiac death from sexually related excitement. She would have likely die from the same excitement of being with a man.

If she never married, and were a nun instead, she’d still be alive today.

Steve Q, you’d have tried to save Mother Teresa too?

No need to respond. You have provided me enough laughs today. :lol:

Melo

July 15th, 2010
2:39 pm

I think Tiger is gradually getting his hunger back!

(hunger for golf and winning,by the way..jes to clarify) :-)

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
2:39 pm

Stanley Steamer Women who are so picky they break up with a guy over stupid little things, then they are 40 and the only guys left are unemployed wife beaters.

ABC, read between the lines buddy. Stan is bitter. Stan had a woman who was not yet 30,that dumped him over something he felt was stupid or insignificant for someone (she felt) better. While she may not have been successful in snagging said man that she dumped him for he gloats every chance he gets and is now convinced EVERY WOMAN does the same. He’s says in EVERY post, while not yet being married, that the woman is suppose is getting a good man. He thinks the love of his life had a good man (himself) and let him go no doubt for someone who she may have thought was better at the time but maybe didn’t quite pan that way and they never married. Because he still loves her and haven’t moved on, he gets a slick kick out of the fact that the dude she left him for didn’t marry her and he’s secretly gloats that he’s ALMOST married and whats to tell her, see you missed out on a good man. If it wasn’t for his pride he would go after her to get her back. But because he’s bitter, his pride won’t let him do it…..HE STILL LOVES HER THOUGH AND CANNOT GET OVER THE BREAKUP

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
2:39 pm

“As I said, take all the shots you want, they don’t bother me.”

@Stanley ~ not meaning to take any shots at you, but dude I picture you looking like “Carlton,” bowtie and all! (Do you know who Carlton is?)

Kym

July 15th, 2010
2:39 pm

@Steven ohhh nooo.. I leave the imaginary weddings and tea parties to my 4 year old niece.

I just figured since you keep talking about getting hitched you had some actually firm plans. I like Sexy C am waiting for you to actually provide some “advice” as you call it.

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
2:40 pm

2:32

You all are so predictable – I knew one of these regular blog dudes was going to find some “truth” to what he said!

Hillarious!

abc

July 15th, 2010
2:40 pm

I don’t know if there’s worthwhile advice to give to people that refrain from marriage. I figure they have their own reasons, or issues that hold them back, male and female alike. Marrying young is obviously not a prescription for marriage success, either — plenty of stats on that. I was first married at 21, and it was a rough 4 years. I was too young, but at a year older than I, she was really too young. Different strokes. Nothing says you have to ever marry.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
2:41 pm

I’m in hysterics that abc even joined in on the mess. Too much like right!

Kym

July 15th, 2010
2:42 pm

@Melo is he in the lead..John Daly had the lead yesterday..I bet he plays better when he is drunk. LMAO!!! Go John Daly Go Tiger!!!

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
2:42 pm

That’s my interpretation Stan. You say it EVERY time. Your almost wife is getting a good man. That’s what your former love had…isn’t it? A good man she let go…being you.

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
2:42 pm

love ferris bueller, too many nuggets of wisdom in that movie, the scene where they try to roll the odometer back just came up in a convo about skanks the other day……

abc

July 15th, 2010
2:43 pm

Hey, lurker, I don’t even want to evaluate hypothetical socio-pathology of Mr. Stanley, or anyone else here… just idea exchange, that’s enough for me. If someone wants to lie their butt off in order to make a point, or even just to troll, that’s not my problem — shall I say, that’s not our problem.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
2:44 pm

As ARed might say, nothing but Net, it’s me…..Well said!

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
2:45 pm

did i read correctly that not only is Superhero Stanley not married yet, but she is his “soon to be” fiance, as in no ones even proposed yet?

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
2:45 pm

love ferris bueller, so many nuggets of wisdom in that movie, the scene where they tried to roll the odometer back came up in a conversation about sk@nks just the other day….

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
2:46 pm

I’d say if you reach 35 and haven’t married yet, chances are pretty slim that you ever will.

whatever…I mean really where are you guys getting your stats from? And please don’t say some bullisht like Wikipedia cause that’s what it sounds like. How can you accurately account for that? Put out a link to the info or something….

i'm swiss™

July 15th, 2010
2:47 pm

Lucinda:lol: Mrs Swiss is, indeed, enjoying the benefits…

Dirty D — I’ve got some friends for you, but you have to understand that while they may be “swiss” there’s only one swiss™ When you’re not dealing w/ the original, results may vary… :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
2:47 pm

and the only guys left are unemployed wife beaters.

Leggs, my guess is that she left him for someone that beat her or later ended up with someone that beat her. He’s keeping up with her though cause he still loves her.

Stan, you are bitter. You even say the only men left over 40 are wife beaters. You think? I say if you still love her, put the past behind you, forget your almost bride and go with your true love. :)

LURKER (I want some of dat)

July 15th, 2010
2:47 pm

@Stanley…Man….You are hilarious why do the women have to end up with cats because they did not get married? That is funny…

@ABC ….Stanley partner steps in and explains it all to the blog women who are giving Stanley Steamer the moist treatment….Sassy that is goood … moist….. YESSSS

I bet when Stanley and his soon to be fiance are about to get it on the following occurs.

Stanley begins kissing future finance on the toes, up to the thighs, then skips straight to kissing her neck. (Foot Note) Stanley skips the puddy because he did not go to the puddy school of eating like Lucinda’s man, Swiss and Purple…YESSS :wink:

Stanley starts to get excited, then he suggest to his future fiance, baby I need to put on my captain save these hoes uniform, you know when I wear it I perform a lot better. YESSS :smile:

Fiance….I don’t care about you wanting to save these women I need you to learn the please your future fiance via the ORALLY program…I don’t want to have to pull-out my BOB!

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
2:48 pm

Sure thing Sexy Cool.

The biggest thing is to stop being so picky. Many women over 30 have watched too many movies and they have unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. They may meet a great guy, but because he doesn’t meet some idealistic, unattainable except in Hollywood, picture of what a man should be, they dump him. Worse even is a couple years late he finds someone who can appreciate he is a good man and is off the market.

The longer you wait, the less choices you have. Now everyone definitely deserves to be with someone who is goign to make them happy, but as time goes on you are going to have to be a little less choosy. Some of these “deal breakers”, you got to lose them.

A good man has a job, he works hard, he is a good partner, he won’t cheat on you, he won’t beat you, and he always wants to makes you smile. Maybe he isn’t the greatest looking guy in the world, or maybe he didn’t do some stupid romantic thing you saw in a movie once that you always wanted a guy to do for you. But he would make a great father and a great partner for life.

It’s common for women who do this to use phrases like “Mr. Right”, “My Perfect Man”, and “prince Charming”. They also dream of being “treated like a princess”. If you find yourself using this type of rhetoric, time to wake up and realize that if you were a princess you wouldn’t be 35 and single.

Now once you find one, instead of trying to find some stupid thing to dump him over, instead try to hold on to him. Now men like different things, but a few things are almost universal, and if you want to land a good man.

1. Learn to cook, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
2. Don’t talk too much. I am not saying be a subservient woman who only speaks when spoken to. I am saying don’t bore your man to death with how much you hate the other women at work, make use of your talk time with meaningful conversation and enjoy some moments of silence as well.
3. Don’t make him stupid things he doesn’t want to. A good man will want to go dancing or watch a stupid chick flick with you… occasionally. Don’t drag your man by his sack everywhere you want to go and make him do everyhting you want to do.

This is just a start of course. Hope it helps.

Melo

July 15th, 2010
2:49 pm

Kym..Tiger is in contention..altho 4 strokes back..since its the first round,,a lot will flop and flip etc..so u know…..he is in a good spot.

John Daly will flame out obviously..LMAO