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Dating: Time to break your deal breakers?

Single people we need a reality check. I include myself because I have been guilty of adhering to random dating deal breakers. Funny how I seem to meet someone really great who I have chemistry with but hit the brakes (no pun) when there is an issue with something about them.

It’s not just about having a “type” we like to say we prefer, it’s more than that. We extend our “I don’t do” lists so far that we talk ourselves out of a potential…something. We never find out what that something is because we don’t let it go further. We figure the deal breaker is protecting us from heartbreak, disappointment, confusion. Um, yeah… how’s that working out for you? (Said in my best Dr. Phil voice)

So let’s reconsider some deal breakers that we have that probably don’t really belong on a list of reasons to rule out someone, shall we? I will go first:

I never dated someone unemployed. Now, I am not trolling Georgia Department of Labor for dates or anything. I would however, give a guy a second look if he seems like a kind person. Circumstances arise that may cause some people to be in transition. Does that mean they aren’t dateable?

Ok, your turn. What dating deal breaker are you willing to reevaluate?

A quick poll of my single friends and I found that their deal breakers included: someone with full custody of their children; someone less educated; someone unfit or doesn’t work out regularly. What do you think? Are these legit or kind of ridiculous?

It’s almost as if we are meeting and dating, but when we spot a “human” thing, we just check out on the date or relationship.  Then less effort is made to take things further.  I can speak intelligently about this because I have done this too many times than I even want to admit to myself, let along you guys.  I am working on it though, this counts for something, right? Personal growth points maybe? It’s all part of the dating process, I think. Live and learn.

I just think that single men and women could both use a healthy dose of humility. Do you believe that men are more willing to overlook their “deal breakers” then women? Wait, do men still have dating deal breakers!?

Happy Thursday!

430 comments Add your comment

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
12:38 pm

@Melo the question was how often you gettin some… and is it enough?

Melo

July 15th, 2010
12:41 pm

how often you gettin some… and is it enough?

@Lucinda??

Hell Naw,neva enough!! u kidding me??

(dont just ask me qstions when there is no desire to quench the thirst) :roll:

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
12:44 pm

im definitely needing to quench my thirst but won’t see WB til the weekend, daaayyuuuummmm, what am i gonna do?

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
12:50 pm

ok, i havent been here long but -
melo – dont just ask me qstions when there is no desire to quench the thirst)
lucinda – im definitely needing to quench my thirst but won’t see WB til the weekend, daaayyuuuummmm, what am i gonna do?

@lucinda – seems you just opened yourself up for trouble there, lol

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
12:53 pm

Melo/Kimmie…

…stepping back in late.

The reason I mentioned the Marta date is because someone told me about a 43-45 year old dude trying to get back on his feet. His idea of a date is riding Marta together, so that he can talk and people watch with his date. I mentioned maybe they get off the train somewhere like Lenox and hit the food court. The lady told me said he was full. He will take a date to the Varsity or something. Guess what a few women have dated him (more than once). That is not my cup of tea, though.

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
12:54 pm

so u ok with a marta date nite with broke dude i guess,cruising from north point to the airport,then back on the next train going back in the opposite long ride to the top of that stop………

Nope, not if he keeps flashing me his high-tech cellphone, watch and fancy blinged out marta pass.

Yes, you’re missing my point if you’re talking about money and I’m talking about being showy. Those aren’t hand and hand to me. What’s hand and hand with flashy (to me) is being braggy and flamboyant with your resources…be they rocks or gold.

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
12:55 pm

Over employed…Working 6 jobs

LOL LURKER. Now that’s a new one!

Kym

July 15th, 2010
12:57 pm

Senate got 60 votes to pass finance reform..Scott Brown is working the Senate big time…I like him.

Melo

July 15th, 2010
12:59 pm

@Dirty Diana 101°/Lucinda!!

I actually did the marta date with the fam on week end..they liked it..it was so much fun for them….

u know thats not a bad date actually coz u get time to talk..then go eat afterwards…..

hmmmmmm. but u gotta do it with someone when the convo is flowing..no awkward silent moments!

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
1:00 pm

LURKER you don’t want an over employed woman. I forgot MR LURKER like taking his women to the mountains and to vegas and stuff.

Dirty Diana 101° ♠

July 15th, 2010
1:01 pm

Melo,

Dude told the lady he was already full from “supper” after they finished riding marta…he did not buy her any food. Yes “supper” at 1:00 pm.

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
1:13 pm

Diana/Melo – Not my cup of tea either. I don’t have a problem riding Marta or the bus either, but not on a date. Not taking on any man “projects” anymore. Gotten too old for that.

I worked long and hard for what I have to do better.

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
1:13 pm

Melo : getting some with your hand does not qualify as getting some
and no, you don’t go out much.
I think of you as socically inept :|

LURKER (I want some of dat)

July 15th, 2010
1:17 pm

@Dirty Diana….. LURKER needs to time take his woman on vacation so I can elongate the puddy morning, noon and night…..YEAHHHH :wink: :wink:

@Kym….The financial reform bill was already a done deal. The opposition party always have to put up a media fight for there constituents. Although this bill will slow the appetite for risk from the major investors it does not go far enough in terms of penalties levied against those who lose/destroy stock holders value.

Melo

July 15th, 2010
1:17 pm

I think of you as socically inept

@I am…

I dont mind u think that..but no matter how much pining inside I may have,im never gon walk around and about without my underwear on..trust me on that. :idea:

:lol: :lol:

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
1:18 pm

Just read a story about a 30 year old nanny who died pleasuring herself. Another reason to find a good man early ladies.

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
1:19 pm

*Not taking on any man “projects” anymore. Gotten too old for that.*

@kimmie you got that right. Rather be on my own than taking on a mess.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
1:19 pm

Deal Breakers:
1) Had a sex change
2) STD
3) Likes drama even if it is not her’s
4) Has a sour disposition more than she is happy
5) Not affectionate
6) Not Julia :)

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
1:19 pm

Diana, my girlfriend, soon to be fiance is in here 20s. Her sister is pushing 30 and not even close to finding a husband though.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
1:20 pm

Deal Breaker:
Was dumb enough to ever date “mark”

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
1:21 pm

Wonders never cease. Sad and funny at the same time.

smh

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
1:22 pm

Dealbreaker

1. Old, one-trick pony that can’t spell.

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
1:24 pm

@ Purple “not Julia” awwwwww, sweet!

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
1:24 pm

Melo : good to know.
I would be mad as hell if I caught you like that :evil:

Lady-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

July 15th, 2010
1:25 pm

poppin’ in for a brief sec……what’s good peeps!?!

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
1:25 pm

It’s pretty sad when someone just wants to help you and you attack them for it.

please

July 15th, 2010
1:25 pm

Steven Q. Stanley -You sound so pathetic, who dogged you out so bad, guess you wasnt as good as you though you were, lol, what a joke you are, cause if u were so happy u wouldnt be on here EVERYDAY saying the same thing.

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
1:27 pm

who dogged you out so bad

I’m guessing the pushing 30 sister he’s trying to ’save’. LOL

please

July 15th, 2010
1:28 pm

Diana, my girlfriend, (soon to be) fiance is in here 20s- What makes u think she is going to say YES, lol. You sound weak & women dont like spinless men like yourself with all this whinning u do, lol.

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
1:28 pm

please, life is great for me, thanks for asking. I hope one day it can be good for you too. If its “pathetic and sad” to want to help others experience the same happiness you do, call me such. Being called a few names is a small price to pay to try and help those in need.

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
1:29 pm

Hey Lady!!!!

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
1:29 pm

please, the fact she doesn’t want to die alone. She found a good man and a good partner for life.

please

July 15th, 2010
1:30 pm

STeven-Try focusing on your own relationship..if u really have one..& dont be concerned about other women, what REAL MAN is concerned about women not being married, u sound like a weakling

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
1:30 pm

Purple, your number 6 is sweet!

Lady-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

July 15th, 2010
1:31 pm

please

July 15th, 2010
1:32 pm

STeven She’s young and have plenty of time to find a REAL MAN that doesnt whine all the time about other women, so dont count on her marrying you or being faithful, u just dont sound manly

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
1:33 pm

Yeah Carlito!!! I think that your # 6 is very nice.

Anybody have any lunch ideas? I sho is hongry!

anonymousella

July 15th, 2010
1:33 pm

@sassy, @slimone thirding travis barker. and adding tommy lee (um, once they get that Hep C vaccine on the market).

*sigh* steven q. so young. so inexperienced with life. so convinced that 30 is some magical tipping point when life ends.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
1:34 pm

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
1:35 pm

what REAL MAN is concerned about women not being married, u sound like a weakling

Nuff said…

Steven Q. Stanley

July 15th, 2010
1:35 pm

please. My life mission is to keep women life yourself from dying alone. Women with obvious personality flaws that makes them unwanted by any man long term. Women who are so picky they break up with a guy over stupid little things, then they are 40 and the only guys left are unemployed wife beaters. Women who are going to die alone in a room full of cats.

If you don’t like my comments, ignore them. Obviously they struck a personal chord with you, that would not happen if there was not some truth to them in your own life. But some women are not content to die alone and appreciate my wisdom, don’t make them suffer because you get upset over someone pointing out some things in your life you are not happy with.

Best of luck to you in your personal life, in all seriousness hope it works out for you. Nothing makes me happier than to see a man and a woman, or two of the same for that matter, in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship.

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
1:36 pm

lolololololol!!!!!!!

LURKER (I want some of dat)

July 15th, 2010
1:37 pm

All righty then,,,,Women of the blog…How many of you have tatoo’s located right above the top of your buttocks? LURKER likey a woman who has a tatoo right above the bootey…. YESSS :wink:

GOLDEN NUGGET TIME

@If you are an unemployed man you do not need to be dating.
@Do not host a drinking party for your teenage kids then post it to the internet. You will get arrest.
@Parents do not let you daughter walk around in booty shorts….
@Take advice from Stanley Steamer….
@Men run when you see I AM….Me thinks she is kinda crazy….j/k
I luv the idea you go around walking with-out no panties
@If you are a regular blogger why are you changing your name moniker to respond to someone…That show a sign of weakness….

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
1:37 pm

anon – Funny thing, I get the feeling ole boy is not so young! Bet he’s an old geezer, wishing for those long gone days when he was a young whippersnapper!LOL!!!!

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
1:38 pm

This guy I’ve been talking to on the net is so hard pressed to have me come over his house :shock:
I have never met dude and I definately don’t know him to go over his house for a meet and greet.
What happened to wanting to meet in person and he calls me wanting to have things my way for making this suggestion.
Add this to the list of deal breakers

kimmie

July 15th, 2010
1:40 pm

I am – That would be a red flag, don’t talk to him any more on the net. It’s easy to find out where you live and he could show up. Be careful.

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
1:40 pm

Steven, that is your life purpose?

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
1:41 pm

so dont count on her marrying you or being faithful, u just dont sound manly.

:lol: :lol:

thirding travis barker. and adding tommy lee (um, once they get that Hep C vaccine on the market).

Too funny with the “thirding” ella…there’s just something about Travis…

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
1:43 pm

I Am, i just figured since we blog all the time that you should just come over to my house.
“IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN, OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!!!”

Purple Rain

July 15th, 2010
1:44 pm

Crooked teeth are a deal breaker, so is bad breath.