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Dating: Time to break your deal breakers?

Single people we need a reality check. I include myself because I have been guilty of adhering to random dating deal breakers. Funny how I seem to meet someone really great who I have chemistry with but hit the brakes (no pun) when there is an issue with something about them.

It’s not just about having a “type” we like to say we prefer, it’s more than that. We extend our “I don’t do” lists so far that we talk ourselves out of a potential…something. We never find out what that something is because we don’t let it go further. We figure the deal breaker is protecting us from heartbreak, disappointment, confusion. Um, yeah… how’s that working out for you? (Said in my best Dr. Phil voice)

So let’s reconsider some deal breakers that we have that probably don’t really belong on a list of reasons to rule out someone, shall we? I will go first:

I never dated someone unemployed. Now, I am not trolling Georgia Department of Labor for dates or anything. I would however, give a guy a second look if he seems like a kind person. Circumstances arise that may cause some people to be in transition. Does that mean they aren’t dateable?

Ok, your turn. What dating deal breaker are you willing to reevaluate?

A quick poll of my single friends and I found that their deal breakers included: someone with full custody of their children; someone less educated; someone unfit or doesn’t work out regularly. What do you think? Are these legit or kind of ridiculous?

It’s almost as if we are meeting and dating, but when we spot a “human” thing, we just check out on the date or relationship.  Then less effort is made to take things further.  I can speak intelligently about this because I have done this too many times than I even want to admit to myself, let along you guys.  I am working on it though, this counts for something, right? Personal growth points maybe? It’s all part of the dating process, I think. Live and learn.

I just think that single men and women could both use a healthy dose of humility. Do you believe that men are more willing to overlook their “deal breakers” then women? Wait, do men still have dating deal breakers!?

Happy Thursday!

430 comments Add your comment

Melo

July 15th, 2010
11:42 am

By thugs u mean what……tatted up guy,music mogul like Cash money but looking thuggish or rapper/singer/artist with thug mannerisms and style e.g. Jim Jones??

To me,anybody tatted up to the max is a Thugg,Big Time..

I aint coming close to u…worse when u have permanent gold teef. :roll: :roll:

whats uall definition?

King of Kings

July 15th, 2010
11:43 am

Isaiah 5:11 – 23

11 Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow strong drink; that continue until night, till wine inflame them!
12And the harp, and the viol, the tabret, and pipe, and wine, are in their feasts: but they regard not the work of the LORD, neither consider the operation of his hands.
13Therefore my people are gone into captivity, because they have no knowledge: and their honourable men are famished, and their multitude dried up with thirst.
14Therefore hell hath enlarged herself, and opened her mouth without measure: and their glory, and their multitude, and their pomp, and he that rejoiceth, shall descend into it.
15And the mean man shall be brought down, and the mighty man shall be humbled, and the eyes of the lofty shall be humbled:
16But the LORD of hosts shall be exalted in judgment, and God that is holy shall be sanctified in righteousness.
17Then shall the lambs feed after their manner, and the waste places of the fat ones shall strangers eat.
18Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope:
19That say, Let him make speed, and hasten his work, that we may see it: and let the counsel of the Holy One of Israel draw nigh and come, that we may know it!
20Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
21Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!
22Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink:
23Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him!

Oh, what a day it will be

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
11:43 am

Deal breakers so far…lying, cheating and flashy living.

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
11:43 am

Mel Gibson is so over. You can see crazy all in his eyes, tapes or no tapes.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
11:46 am

He hasn’t been the same since filming The Passion of Christ!!!

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
11:46 am

By Thug I mean dude that can handle his in the bedroom :mrgreen:

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
11:47 am

@I am ~ we women knew what you meant.

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
11:47 am

Melo
Thug = azz hanging out, trying to look hard, no smile, no life in eyes, multiple tats, gold teeth, narrow minded.

and my favorite: flat brim hat with tag still on it.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
11:48 am

However, there are some who really like the thug live and are magnets to it. The co-worker I told you about the other day is a Thugette!!

Melo

July 15th, 2010
11:48 am

flashy living

@Luvbug??

u hatter??

what if I got it and its more than urs?? I shdnt enjoy my trapppings coz u (interpret) think im flashing?? :roll:

King of Kings

July 15th, 2010
11:48 am

Revelations 22: 12-21

12And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.
13I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.
14Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city. 15For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
16I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star.
17And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
18For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
20He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
21The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
11:49 am

@abc ~ I’m aware that’s not a word. :wink:

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
11:49 am

Another taxi cab confession: Iiiiiiii, Luvbug, once found myself attracted to a thug. His name was Shyne. (Get up on the hood ma. I aint done yet)

I don’t know what it was about him. I shocked myself with that one.

Don’t judge me!!

SlimOne

July 15th, 2010
11:50 am

Leggs, speaking of pizza, I shole wish I was close to Avondale Estates area. I loooooove the pizza at Avondale Cafe. Mmmmm mmmm good.

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
11:51 am

Luvbug we’ve all had one or two…
but they aren’t good long-term prospects so we get over it.

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
11:51 am

@Lucinda – how about the ones who have to walk bow-legged to keep their pants up? saw a guy trying to cross the street almost get run over cause he wasnt walking just right and lost his pants, was tripping over them while the Explorer was headed his way,SMH

@Leggs – tampered with, is that what their saying now? naw, agree crazy is just written all over his face these days

Kym

July 15th, 2010
11:52 am

LMAO @Luvbug..Get up on the hood? Do I want to know what that means? Naww don’t tell me..I will consult my thug to english translator.

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
11:52 am

Whatever Midget Hater!!

If you got it and need it to feel good, that makes me disposable too. IMO, It’s like everything is always up in the air with guys like that.

SlimOne

July 15th, 2010
11:52 am

On the topic of being all tat, tat, tatted up…for whatever reason I find myself really attracted to Travis Barker (drummer for Blink 182)…that whiteboy could get it on a night when I’m in a drunken stupor. lololol

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
11:52 am

@Melo ~ I immediately thought of this dude that tried to holler at me. Him and his wife were about to separate. Both were invited to Aruba by their friends. He said the two of them were going and why shouldn’t he go passing up a sweet opportunity to go there. He could afford it so “they’re” going. I said fine, you go and hang with your soon to be ex-wife, but leave me alone. The entire scenario he laid out to me didn’t sit well with me.

mark

July 15th, 2010
11:53 am

my one and only dealbreaker is that i cant Date a sista if i found out she has dated a White man before i just cant get over that. i just cant trust or respect a sista that does that. i know im going to catch grife for this but its how i feel.

Melo

July 15th, 2010
11:54 am

By Thug I mean dude that can handle his in the bedroom

@I am??

so u talking about a dude that literally wants to chew ur nana off ur nether flesh as he licks on ya and then goes on to pound it with a 25 pound wang!??

It's me....lurker

July 15th, 2010
11:54 am

Mark – Whatever floats your boat…it’s your peragative. Melo don’t like short women…LOL

SlimOne

July 15th, 2010
11:56 am

Mark – why do you associate a sistah dating a white guy with ‘reason not to trust’? Just curious

DreamsMaterialize

July 15th, 2010
11:57 am

i know im going to catch grife for this but its how i feel.
What exactly is a grife, and how do you catch it?

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

July 15th, 2010
11:57 am

On the topic of being all tat, tat, tatted up…for whatever reason I find myself really attracted to Travis Barker (drummer for Blink 182)…that whiteboy could get it on a night when I’m in a drunken stupor

I thought I was the only one Slim. :oops: I was watching T I perform on the BET music awards last night and Travis was beating those drums somethin fierce and then I thought about …….

I don’t usually like guys like that but there’s something about him

Kym

July 15th, 2010
11:57 am

@mark no you wont you come in once a week and say the same thang..each and every time..

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
11:58 am

@Slim some of those whiteboys can bring it! Got me one with serious Skillz — but you’d never think that to look at him… Love what I KNOW when we walk around and ppl look at me like ‘wtf’. I jus think, well yeah, you wouldnt give him a shot, but he KNOWS what he’s doing and ummmmmmmmm yummmmmm <– followed by many other sounds

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
11:58 am

Thug = azz hanging out, trying to look hard, no smile, no life in eyes, multiple tats, gold teeth, narrow minded.

add to that spends more cash on his ride than his kids, smokes (not just newports), and for some reason has an aversion to haircuts

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
11:59 am

ALOL @ Thugette

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
12:00 pm

@Mark fine with me cuz i wouldn’t date your narrowminded azz anyhow

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
12:00 pm

Kym – He wants to continue on the car. LOL He was a rapper on the Bad Boy label (I think). The guy who went to jail for shooting in the club while he was hanging out with Diddy and JLo. I’ve never met him. It was a TV crush.

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
12:00 pm

@Kym – ROFL, i was thinking to myself “isnt that the same song he was singing last week?”

DreamsMaterialize

July 15th, 2010
12:00 pm

but he KNOWS what he’s doing and ummmmmmmmm yummmmmm <– followed by many other sounds
mark just caught “grife” when he read that. lol

Melo

July 15th, 2010
12:03 pm

If you got it and need it to feel good,

@Luvbug??

see,but who says i need that to feel good?? Is that not ur perception of them??

I know folks who wld see dude with his fly jalope but he just rubs them the wrong way and one look at him,they’re like…zssssssseeeeee(u know the high pitched snap with ur mouf).. and a look away..he gets on ma nerves…

Is that u?? :roll:

Kym

July 15th, 2010
12:03 pm

@Luvbug..ohhh..closest thug crush I had was LL Cool J..and James is no thug..he just has that NYC thang going on.

I am whatever you say I am

July 15th, 2010
12:04 pm

Melo: either A) you don’t get out much or B) you don’t get laid much

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
12:08 pm

@SlimOne ~ I use to hang out at the pizza shop years ago. I would stop after work everyday and get a slice before going home and cooking dinner. That was when my metabolism was high off the charts! :lol: :lol:

@blue ~ they’re saying it’s a very sophisticated tampering job. The clarity in her voice (some form of hidden chest microphone) and the distortions in his voice has some to believe the tapes have been put together from a series of phone calls over time. That’s just one theory.

Melo

July 15th, 2010
12:08 pm

@I am??

how much is much??

i'm swiss™

July 15th, 2010
12:09 pm

Lucinda, have we met? ;-) :lol:

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
12:09 pm

do tell Melo

Leggs

July 15th, 2010
12:11 pm

I think he meant to type “grief”

Luvbug

July 15th, 2010
12:12 pm

see,but who says i need that to feel good?? Not me.

Is that not ur perception of them?? No. That’s my perception of those who actually need it to feel good. There are poor people who feel the same way. I’m not against money or resources. I’m just not comfortable with people who based their value in life on it.

A person can have money and not be flashy. I’m talking about flashy folks. I’m not saying money=flashy.

Lucinda

July 15th, 2010
12:12 pm

@Swiss im hoping mrs swiss is enjoying the benefits

SlimOne

July 15th, 2010
12:17 pm

Sassy Me – yeah i’m not usually attracted to those types of guys but I too noticed how he was beating the hellz outta them drums on the awards show. Makes me think about making those sounds Lucinda was talking about her WB has her saying (ummmmmmmmm yummmmmm <– followed by many other sounds) :mrgreen:

'mark just caught “grife” when he read that'

@Dreams – :lol:

Melo

July 15th, 2010
12:21 pm

That’s my perception of those who actually need it to feel good

@Luvbug??

I dont know how u wld feel if were broke broke…certainly not good, i can tell u..money makes pple feel good about themselves,u included.

imagine if u didnt have gas money to get toi work..that wld suck im sure.

and folks have been talking about not wanting to date a dude with no job and no juice……

so u ok with a marta date nite with broke dude i guess,cruising from north point to the airport,then back on the next train going back in the opposite long ride to the top of that stop………

Cmeon Luvbug,hoping on ur guys’ ride instead, to that fun spot in town wld make u feel better im sure?? Thats money for u :lol:

Am i missing smething??

@Lucinda??

do tell Melo..tell what? I am qstion….??

If u promise to rescue me.

SlimOne

July 15th, 2010
12:29 pm

Don’t cha hate when you’re in a middle of a post, then you get sidetracked but forget to submit before you refresh….DAGNABIT!

blue-7/30

July 15th, 2010
12:35 pm

@Slim – lol, typing it again it just never sounds as good as it did the first time lol
@Leggs – i agree, the tapes do sound like she baited him, but he took the bait hook, line, and sinker. only problem now tho is after his last public rant (i think he blamed that one on alcoholism) the idea of him behaving this way doesnt seem so far fetched anymore

LURKER (I want some of dat)

July 15th, 2010
12:36 pm

Thursday….Knock the puddy loose day to everyone!!!!! YEAHHHHHH :wink: :wink:

Dealbreakers….

1. Constant Drama in your life
2. Over employed…Working 6 jobs
3. Bad hygienes

I have many more but on to the show…….. YEAHHHH

@Swiss…..Slimone has agreed to make a porno film…..Called LURKER gets swallowed by the CT…
@Slimone…..e-mail me for more details at mrlurker007@yahoo.com

CoolShadow

July 15th, 2010
12:37 pm

At or near the top of my list of deal breakers are:

Smoking – needs no further discussion.

Drinking – I can tolerate you taking advantage of the situation because I’m in the designated driver but a lack of self-control and belligerence from excessive drinking will kill any interaction from me hereafter.

Intelligence – ditziness can’t be dealt with long term especially when exposure to my business and social circles is a potential. Don’t have to be a nuclear physicist but have to know more than the status of American Idol contests and that reality TV ain’t really real.

Drama – we all go through drama in our lives in fashion and not always of our choosing. But when your life is a constant string of issues from bad decision-making and you’re trying to pull me into your whirlpool of drama, I gotta go.

Fiscal Drama – when your financial drama is a function of you trying to live a lifestyle beyond your means and then look for sponsorship rather than make hard decisions, that’s a deal breaker. Equally as annoying is constantly hitting me for small loans that are never repaid. The banks and airlines nickel and dime enough, don’t need you to get in that mix.