Dating: Time to break your deal breakers?
Single people we need a reality check. I include myself because I have been guilty of adhering to random dating deal breakers. Funny how I seem to meet someone really great who I have chemistry with but hit the brakes (no pun) when there is an issue with something about them.
It’s not just about having a “type” we like to say we prefer, it’s more than that. We extend our “I don’t do” lists so far that we talk ourselves out of a potential…something. We never find out what that something is because we don’t let it go further. We figure the deal breaker is protecting us from heartbreak, disappointment, confusion. Um, yeah… how’s that working out for you? (Said in my best Dr. Phil voice)
So let’s reconsider some deal breakers that we have that probably don’t really belong on a list of reasons to rule out someone, shall we? I will go first:
I never dated someone unemployed. Now, I am not trolling Georgia Department of Labor for dates or anything. I would however, give a guy a second look if he seems like a kind person. Circumstances arise that may cause some people to be in transition. Does that mean they aren’t dateable?
Ok, your turn. What dating deal breaker are you willing to reevaluate?
A quick poll of my single friends and I found that their deal breakers included: someone with full custody of their children; someone less educated; someone unfit or doesn’t work out regularly. What do you think? Are these legit or kind of ridiculous?
It’s almost as if we are meeting and dating, but when we spot a “human” thing, we just check out on the date or relationship. Then less effort is made to take things further. I can speak intelligently about this because I have done this too many times than I even want to admit to myself, let along you guys. I am working on it though, this counts for something, right? Personal growth points maybe? It’s all part of the dating process, I think. Live and learn.
I just think that single men and women could both use a healthy dose of humility. Do you believe that men are more willing to overlook their “deal breakers” then women? Wait, do men still have dating deal breakers!?
Happy Thursday!
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430 comments Add your comment
Melo
July 15th, 2010
10:15 am
Good morning Dealers!!
Marriage deal breaker:
1. comes from a crawzy fam
2. her education is not right
3. is less that 5 ft
4. her tatas are below recommended size
5. fat leggs
6. no bootey
7 does not speak good english
8 her cootie appears to have had lots of OT(over time)
9 is sexually more experienced than myself
10 cannot cook
11. her hygiene sucks at all levels
bonus deal breaker:
11 is light skinned
Smashing deal breaker:
1. Has no tramp stamp
2. no tongue ring(thats a Huge tuen off…. Big No no)
3. has no crib of her own
4. shares a room with a mate
5 does not have a nice car/job
6 no psh skills to brag about
7. has no personal portfolio of sex tapes
8. not confident about her bed room game
9. has herpes or other communicable contagion
10 does not smoke collards in bed
11. has no nice colored tats near and/or around (her) the smashing triangle(groin,belly,cootie area)
Howdee folks!!
should be a nice blogging day!!
anonymousella
July 15th, 2010
10:16 am
my deal breakers are deal breakers for a reason, and my deal breakers are reasonable and based on experience. and even if they seem unreasonable, they’re still reasonable.
why? because i firmly believe that if a man or woman is The One, you will overlook his crooked toe, he will overlook that extra-long chin hair you got, and y’all will make some hairy-chinned, crooked toed babies.
they say love is blind, so if you ain’t blind to (some of) your love interest’s faults, you might not be in love.
@steve q i promise you, if a man is 30+ and got dumped, he was NOT a “great guy.”
SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.
July 15th, 2010
10:18 am
kimmie – even with a regular smoker who brushes his teeth, their kisses still taste like tobacco. So, yeah, a smoker would be a *pass* for me as well.
blue-7/30
July 15th, 2010
10:19 am
@Slim – i second that motion, males arent the only ones who like a show
@Kym – agree on being well rounded. im a big reader, and i try to understand that mr.blue isnt. but when i got to talking about mythology one day and his entire half of the convo came from the Thor comic book, i just had to hang my head…told him he was lucky id already married him lol
Kym
July 15th, 2010
10:19 am
I like Tats..just no neck tats. Ohh and no tats of flaming skulls or naked chicks..some tats can be quite beautiful.
Fresh-----JAM ON IT!
July 15th, 2010
10:20 am
1. WOMEN WITH GOLD FRONTS. 2. DIRTY KIDS 3.SUPER LOUD 4. WEARS POUNDS OF MAKE-UP 5. WORN OUT SHOES
Run4Life
July 15th, 2010
10:21 am
For the record, I love tatoos on guys. Them having three or four is such a turn on for me. Especially when they are clean cut gentlemen, and the tats are hidden until their shirt comes off.
Okay…okay. Its too early in the day.
SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.
July 15th, 2010
10:21 am
Kym, LMAO – TheDude has one tat. It’s of two flaming skulls.
Kym
July 15th, 2010
10:22 am
Personally, I don’t think a guy should be trying to date until he gets a job and gets on his feet. Just creates issues.I say this from personal experience.<<<<< I second this emotion.
SexyCool - Joy bubbles over.
July 15th, 2010
10:24 am
Dealbreaker – Folks who type in ALL CAPS!
I am whatever you say I am
July 15th, 2010
10:25 am
Worst tat ever: White Chick who was dating a black dude had a tat on her ankle that stated “Black Man”
blue-7/30
July 15th, 2010
10:28 am
i love tatts as well, but tatts in good taste. rebel flags and naked chics dont work for me. the names of your kids are ok, but your 3 exwives names, each crossed out, doesnt work for me. and please have them placed in such a way that you can hold a decent job. all mine can be covered easily if needed lol
@anonymousella – lmao, hairy chinned crooked toed babie, too funny, but agreed some things that have always been on the list may get overlooked if the person happens to be the One. (love the name, anonymousella, lol)
DreamsMaterialize
July 15th, 2010
10:29 am
Ends sentences with prepositions
Chelly this is an antiquated English grammar restriction which really never had any foundation. I know we all learned it in elementary grammar, but it just isn’t correct. This restriction is a requirement in Latin and cannot be applied without exception to English. The greatest writers in the history of the English language have used prepositions at the end of sentences.
Dirty Diana 101° ♠
July 15th, 2010
10:31 am
The flaming skulls, tear drops, naked ladies, his name tatted on his arm is super duper lame. IMO. I have seen some nice tats that are a work of art, but those flea market tats—>BOGO free is a deal breaker.
It's me....lurker
July 15th, 2010
10:33 am
Melo, some things folks didn’t have a say in the matter
1. comes from a crawzy fam
3. is less that 5 ft
4. her tatas are below recommended size
5. fat leggs
6. no bootey
11 is light skinned
kimmie
July 15th, 2010
10:33 am
Especially when they are clean cut gentlemen, and the tats are hidden until their shirt comes off.
Run – My SO all the way! Oh yes! Never been into tats before, but he does tats the classy way!
blue-7/30
July 15th, 2010
10:33 am
@I am – friends boyfriend (previously married w/2 kids), had a family tree tattooed on his back. only things was, he started with wifeys grandparents. they get divorced 2 years later. he now has strike marks through her half of the tree. killer part for me was this was the third woman he got tattd on his body, each tatt bigger and more elaborate than the last. had to wonder, when was he gonna learn?
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
10:35 am
@blue/anonymousella ~ you just gave me room for concern…lil leggs pinky toe is crooked!! Awww crap, many men will pass over her because of that one toe!
Dirty Diana 101° ♠
July 15th, 2010
10:36 am
As for the preposition a man said that one time and I asked him what is a preposition and why is it important. He went quite. I never heard him say anything else that night.
Personally, I don’t think a guy should be trying to date until he gets a job and gets on his feet. Just creates issues.I say this from personal experience.<<<<< I second this emotion.
Hmmmm I don’t think this is a guy/gal problem it is a problem for the person that is trying to date him/her. If a guy wants to date and he does not have the money to date…s/he might find someone that is willing to ride the train all day and talk to him. This is a freebie depending on how much money is on the breeze card. Maybe a walk in the park and he will bring the water…so it is up to the person to decide if they want to deal with him/her.
Personally I think it is worse for a woman to go out broke on a date. My daddy told me to always have enough money to pay for my stuff and to get back home.
blue-7/30
July 15th, 2010
10:36 am
@melo – tramp stamp – is it about the placement or what its a tatt of that makes it a tramp stamp?
Melo
July 15th, 2010
10:37 am
some things folks didn’t have a say in the matter
@It’s me….lurker!
I know but if it aint my pref for short chics and u got no tall genes in ur fam, im proly not the right one for u.
Are u ok dating one of those lil short midgets, urself???
It's me....lurker
July 15th, 2010
10:38 am
Melo, you’re funny. No not a midget…not an amazon but not a midget
It's me....lurker
July 15th, 2010
10:39 am
and Melo, you right, we all go with what we pefer….nothing wrong with that
I am whatever you say I am
July 15th, 2010
10:40 am
Blue at your 10:33: Ah Lawd!!!!
CoolDD
July 15th, 2010
10:41 am
The quick run-down, from a man’s POV:
Smoker ( I agree with the majority here)
Unintelligent
Fake body parts, just because (breasts, hair)
Lack of education
Lack of manners (again, with the majority)
No job or ambition
Gold digger
Self-absorbed
Not adventurous
So ladies, what say you?
I am whatever you say I am
July 15th, 2010
10:42 am
Leggs: I’ve seen men date women with mustaches.
There is hope for lil Leggs if she has a crooked toe
Lucinda
July 15th, 2010
10:42 am
1. Use, or threatened use, of physical force/violence.
First time, whatever relationship we have is over.
2. Bad hygiene
Brush your teeth, trim your finger and toe nails, smell nice.
3. Not a gentleman
Yes, I CAN open the door myself, but I WANT you to do it, thank you. In return, I will always be the lady in the living room and… you know.
4. Lack of confidence
Be strong, be the man. No need to be arrogant or an ass, but bring what you bring with strength.
5. Felony history.
Okay, it might not be fair, but you can’t get certain loans, can’t get certain jobs, and your head may be messed up. I’m not dealing with that.
6. Excessive bitterness/anger regarding ex relationships.
Yes, she screwed you over, lick your wounds and move on. I am not her.
7. If you are over 40 and your finances are not in order.
Sorry, but I’ve worked hard to keep my stuff straight. If yours isn’t, it shows a lack of maturity that will carry over into other areas.
I am whatever you say I am
July 15th, 2010
10:42 am
Quoting Sir Mix A lot: Silicon parts are made for toys
Melo
July 15th, 2010
10:46 am
tramp stamp – is it about the placement
@blue-7/30
Slimone shld give u the technical def coz she coined it for us but its that tat strategically placed at the back of the woman right atop the bootey on the 12 noon point.
I think its called tramp coz(dont quote me) every time a guy sees it,he feels like having her nekked and licking it.
SlimOne
July 15th, 2010
10:48 am
I had my tat on my lower back before they started calling it a tramp stamp. One bad, loosey goose chicken head messed it up for all the rest of us.
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
10:49 am
@I am ~ I simply tell her it helps her run faster.
Cane
July 15th, 2010
10:50 am
My deal breaker is a chick just looking for someone to support her. Unfortunately you can’t always tell a woman’s intentions until it may be too late. Love is wonderful but too many woman consider it a meal ticket. Watch for the phrase “stay at home mom.”
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
10:51 am
I thought “tramp stamp” came along with the thong showing. The combination helpe fuel the phrase into lexicon history.
kimmie
July 15th, 2010
10:51 am
Personally I think it is worse for a woman to go out broke on a date. My daddy told me to always have enough money to pay for my stuff and to get back home.
Diana – This is the way I was brought up & I agree too. I went on a few dates once when I was between jobs and I was uncomfortable with it. Plus, I couldn’t contribute or reciprocate like I usually do, so I avoided it.
If a guy wants to date and he does not have the money to date…s/he might find someone that is willing to ride the train all day and talk to him.
Diana, that sounds very sweet and politically correct in theory, and I tried going there – didn’t work. God bless the child that’s got his own, my mom used to preach this to us. Even if he’s only making a step above minimum wage and can only take me to get ice cream or coffee, it’s a pride thing with men. Most men I know that are about something would never start out with a woman carrying the full load, their pride would not allow it.
DreamsMaterialize
July 15th, 2010
10:51 am
5. Felony history.
Okay, it might not be fair, but you can’t get certain loans, can’t get certain jobs, and your head may be messed up. I’m not dealing with that.
Lucinda Plus he might have participated in some prison love. lol
blue-7/30
July 15th, 2010
10:54 am
@leggs – crooked toe not so bad, the One for her wont mind it. she just wont have to waste time with too many losers
@melo – placement, d@mn
@slim – agreed, darn chicken heads
Melo
July 15th, 2010
10:54 am
A thumer wld be a marriage deal breaker fro me..Going to church and believeiung for me is aaaight,even tho im luke warm on the bible side myself..but going to church sunday/satrday, monday evening, wednesday evening and friday evening is not for me…hell no.
I never dated those coz my assumption was that I didnt want to date u,then we split and then unwittingly bring out the crazzyy that send u to church in the beginnning.
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
11:04 am
I am whatever you say I am
July 15th, 2010
11:04 am
lol @ Leggs 10:49
Lucinda
July 15th, 2010
11:20 am
@Melo feeling you on the church thing. Dont smack me on the head with your Bible. Lotta ppl with a lot of issues doing the chuch thing 5 times a week.
@Dreams ewww, plus he’d prolly never admit it…and what if he liked it?!
Kym
July 15th, 2010
11:32 am
Dear Football God,
While I can appreciate the humor in the situation..I am very very very upset that I have to buy two tickets to not one but two Falcons games this year. You know I am not a fan, so why put me in the impossible situation of having to buy a ticket to see my son play at half-time of a Falcons game, then to add more insult have the Falcons give me two additional tickets to a future game in October. I would just like you to know that because of this you are going to owe me Big! I mean Lombardi trophy #7 big!
Love
Kym
blue-7/30
July 15th, 2010
11:32 am
@lucinda@melo – same for me. i try to respect everyones religion, but that doesnt mean i want to be converted either.
DreamsMaterialize
July 15th, 2010
11:33 am
Dreams ewww, plus he’d prolly never admit it…and what if he liked it?!
Lucinda Gotta wonder about these self-proclaimed
homosthugs. lol Lots of chicks like the thugs though…maybe that’s where they’re contracting HIV.Lucinda
July 15th, 2010
11:34 am
dont bring no thug love here!
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
11:35 am
Thugs, smugs….just be a man! Thugs are so yesterdayish…
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
11:35 am
@abc ~ yes, I know that’s not a word.
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
11:36 am
I talked so much about The Pizzeria’s stuffed pizza that I’m going to go there for lunch…can I bring you guys anything?
blue-7/30
July 15th, 2010
11:38 am
@Lucinda – thuggish – deal breaker. i dont have time to dress you, so pleeeaassseee pull your d@mn pants up and use a belt. ty (using my manners
)
Leggs
July 15th, 2010
11:39 am
Anybody here surprised that the Mel Gibson’s tapes have been tampered with???
Lucinda
July 15th, 2010
11:42 am
@blue better yet, buy pants that fit you. Loose and baggy is cool, waistband clinging to your thighs is stooooopid. Plus, if when you sit down your pants aren’t covering your azz, you have just a very very thin layer of cotton between your jewels and whatever crap somebody left on the seat before you. Im not putting any part of my stuff near that. visualize that.