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What is your dating rep?

I know the Atlanta dating pool is more like a small pond.  It doesn’t surprise to meet someone new and minutes later discover that we know some of the same people.  Needless to say, if you have a bad dating track record with a few people, it doesn’t take long for your dating reputation to take a hit.

I found out just how serious the bad dating rep really gets when someone I barely knew cornered me at a dinner party.  The young lady briefly chatted with the obligatory “small talk” before asking me if “Chad” and I were friends.  I said that I knew him and we had mutual friends and left it at that.  I could tell she wanted me to divulge more but …there really wasn’t much else to tell! That was it.

She proceeded to run down a list of romantic offenses that Chad was guilty of…none with her, of course.  I said, wow a couple of times, shook my head, and walked away…quickly.  How strange to tell me about a guy’s dating reputation? What were her intentions?  It doesn’t really matter much but I thought about my own dating reputation.  Are there disgruntled guys (or their homies?!) going around recounting my worst dating mistakes to strangers?

What do you think your dating reputation is?

Have you ever had someone give you a “relationship resume” of someone you were interested in?

Do you think you have left a good, bad, or ugly impression with your past romantic partners, dates, or ex-flings?

514 comments Add your comment

czBrat

July 8th, 2010
8:20 am

GM All!

this topic makes me thankful that:
1. i was married throughout my 20s/early 30s and
2. i can still count ‘exes’ on one hand.

i think if you ask my exes about my rep it would be all good, with a touch of ’she’s too independent and impossible to hold onto for more than a minute.’ but is that a bad thing? :wink:

i did get the full rundown on hubs when we started dating, but that’s pretty typical when you’re in high school! LOL

YESSHEISCUTE

July 8th, 2010
8:22 am

I think that it really depends. I’m not from Atlanta and have only been here 3 years…2 of them I was in a long distance relationship with someone from TX so I don’t think that I will have the problem as far as my relationship resume getting around. I’ve been on dates but no real serious committed relationships since until now. The only reason he would know anything about my dating history is b/c I did something stupid and dated within the friend circle. He’s in the extended friend circle so I’m not sure what he knows but whether he knows anything or not everything is cool so….

I’m lucky most of my exes are across the ocean in Germany. :)

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
8:23 am

Good Morning Good People!!!!!!!

Run4Life

July 8th, 2010
8:28 am

I probably have a bad dating history. Those whom I have let go will probably say that I am a ‘playa’, and don’t know what i want. And those that I wanted to hold on to would probably say that I have trust ‘issues’. But they never mention that they lied all the time so of course I didn’t trust them.

LeeH1

July 8th, 2010
8:34 am

You reputation is OK until your phone number is scrawled over the wall of the men’s room.

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
8:39 am

hmmmmmm dating rep…….well i truly dated one guy post divorce (3 years) and the rest have been just random dates that never went anywhere……so the 3yr dude will prob say I am cool, down to earth, fun to be with, loyal, very depenable, smart and witty, but on the flip side he would say i love hard and want what i want and when things aren’t going the way that i feel they should i will become frustrasted and this affexts the easy going spirit……anyway the false sense of the relationship ran its course bc i wanted more period….but i am who i am and to truly know me is to love me while he does he just couldn’t they way i wanted him to so it faded……..i am good people bottom line but i want what i want and i don’t feel that is far fetched………

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
8:44 am

my inner circle of guy friends would describe me as demanding but NOT controling……….I mean really lol i just want what i want…….cool as a breeze but can find myself being anal about somethings regarding dating and a relationship…….the dating game is interesting and the Atlanta pool is very small factor in being greek, white collar, love music and live events you will bump into circle of friends that know each other and know of each others friends……i am trying to recall if someone ever told me someone elses dating resume…..hmmmmmm lol

Steven Q. Stanley

July 8th, 2010
8:55 am

If you are over 30 and still single, your rep is one of a crazy lady. Stop being picky and find a good man, he may not be Prince Charming or Mr. Right, but he can be a good partner for life.

There is a reason the older you get, the less likely you are to get married, the older you get without finding a spouse, the more your rep becomes that of a crazy cat lady.

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:00 am

ummm steven there is hope 30 I don’t think will determine my later cat lady years….lmbao…..its a great age and I am still meeting great guys so we will see what the near future holds….I feel as I turn 31 very soon that I am on the brink of developing that exclusive relationship i long for………it gets better with time i say as i remain postive and hopeful and not bitter and negative that i am doomed as a single woman @ 30…….

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:01 am

dammit meant being 30 will NOT determine my later cat lady years and for thatmatter i don’t like cats lmbao!

Steven Q. Stanley

July 8th, 2010
9:03 am

Sorry Lady, but every year you wait is more quality guys off the market and less to choose from. Stop wasting time with losers, stop being picky, and find a man to settle down with.

Kym-NOLA here I come!

July 8th, 2010
9:03 am

Good Morning All,

Her intentions Wisey were to either (a) Throw shade on his game because she is bitter about something he did to her or her friend..(9 times out of 10 when they say its not me he screwed over..yeah it’s her/him) or (b) She wants to get with him and is pumping you for info on him..based on hearsay evidence..or made up crap.

As for my dating rep..considering the jokers turn up like bad pennies at times..I would say my dating rep is pretty ok. If there is some dude willing to say something bad about me..well he might have been a joker in the first place.

East Point's Own

July 8th, 2010
9:05 am

Naw, most dudes don’t get into all that, at most we might say “you probably don’t want to get serious with her because she smashed 2,3,4,5 of the homies.” OR ” you know she has 2,3,4,5 kids” Aside from that we don’t get into dating resumes unless its some blatant violation that our homie must know about…

http://hispointofview.com

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:11 am

steven i am not picky or looking for a prince really i am not i am down to earth and even got oveer that white collar vs blue collar mess i am open minded i am and i am closing the door to losers more than i ever had (BTW, that is a great point) but i am also hopeful that i will secure in time what i am seeking…….

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:11 am

so what is the title of a single guy over 30 steven??? lol

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:12 am

We are limited, not by our abilities, but by our vision……….a thought…..

czBrat

July 8th, 2010
9:12 am

Kym, your post is dead on bout what chick was probably up to.

Stanley, i recall reading somewhere that men are more likely to re-marry and marry more often after the first failed marriage. to me, this means the so-called “quality guys” going off the market in the late 20s to 40s range are soon right back on the market. personally, i’d rather wait until they figure it out before i rush to snatch one off the shelf and borrow claim him. ijs

time to go play in traffic. see yas on the other side.

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:13 am

Enter your comments here

mark

July 8th, 2010
9:15 am

Leggs im still waiting on that e-mail.

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:15 am

czbrat i agree………i am reading that the second marriage crumbles as quick as the 1st one…….but that’s a whole other topic……lol

SlimOne...lookin for my chocolate chipmunk

July 8th, 2010
9:16 am

Good morning Yallz!

I can’t seem to get enough sleep these days but anyhoo, i’m not exactly sure what my dating resume/reputation would be. I seriously doubt it would be anything too too bad. ;-) For the most part, I think anyone I’ve dated would say i’m a pretty cool laid back funny young lady. I’ve always at least had some level of friendship with dudes i’ve dated so we’ve remained cool.

blue

July 8th, 2010
9:16 am

GM all – like cz i married my high school sweetheart young, not right out of school, took some time apart and came back together. there was room in there for a few others, but not many. i think all in my rep would be something along the lines of headstrong, hates idiots and their associated stupidity, and loyal, sometimes to a fault. but at the same time, when i decide ive had enough, the earth will shake, cause im turning everything upside down! that quality still has mr.blue scared somtimes lol
@czBrat did you see the ajc article yesterday about that new “NY style” deli in Alpharetta?

Steven Q. Stanley

July 8th, 2010
9:17 am

A single guy over 30 has a good shot of dying alone as well, most likely he is just a player. The difference is men over 30 choose to be single. They’d rather get an STD than settle down. Women dream about getting married from the time they can walk. If they haven’t gotten married by 30 its because there is something wrong with them, some character flaw that has made them be unmarriable. Best find out what it is quick and fix it, the good guys get taken off the market quick and by 35 and 40 only complete losers are left.

Steven Q. Stanley

July 8th, 2010
9:19 am

czBat, men who become divorced look for younger women, not 35 year old women who have never been married. A divorced man of 30 or 35 is looking for a 25 year old.

Jane Q

July 8th, 2010
9:20 am

I did’nt start dating until my divorce 2 yrs ago – but when I did I dated a very high profile person. unbeknownst to me at the time his dating rep was not so great. Although he did not treat me poorly or anything – I knew something was wrong when friends found out who he was and would say things like – he’s a womanizer or he been abusive to women, someone even eluded to him being gay. It sucked because I heard things that unfortunatly affected not only how I percieved him but I began to worry about what that said about me. Needless to say the relationship did not last, but to this day I don’t know how much was real or false or if they were just saying those things out of spite.

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:21 am

i see your point sir………

Trevor0529

July 8th, 2010
9:22 am

The good guys get taken off the market quick and by 35 and 40 only complete losers are left.

Since you put it like that…I’M A LOSER!!! :shock:

Good Morning everyone.

blue

July 8th, 2010
9:25 am

@Steven – never understood why a single woman, at 30 or any other age, is so often classified as picky, crazy, and the like. why cant it just be she knows what she wants and she hasnt found it yet, or has goals she wants to accomplish b4 settling down, or that MEN are crazy? seems that the view is a 30something man whos single has to have been scarred or jilted in love and thats why hes single, woman – shes and old maid, just stupid IMO

It's me....lurker

July 8th, 2010
9:25 am

This is where my mind went when I read the post

Naw, most dudes don’t get into all that, at most we might say “you probably don’t want to get serious with her because she smashed 2,3,4,5 of the homies.” OR ” you know she has 2,3,4,5 kids” Aside from that we don’t get into dating resumes unless its some blatant violation that our homie must know about… In terms of reputation, I simply thought if you’ve been passed around a lot then the word gets out.

….and this is where my mind went…seriously…when reading Steven Q’s post this means the so-called “quality guys” going off the market in the late 20s to 40s range are soon right back on the market. personally, Honestly I thought well heck the majority of folks blogging here are divorced so it seems to me there’s more recycling versus missing out cause everybody is booed up.

Kym-NOLA here I come!

July 8th, 2010
9:25 am

Steven Q why is the assumption made that all women dream about getting married? I just read an article that talked about how there is a trend in middle class America..toward not getting married and just living together..having children without getting married. What the author pointed out is that alot of the couples are the children of divorce. So marriage was not anything they aspired to. I had to actually sit back and really think about that. (I am a child of divorce..raised by my dad and aunts) So did my parents divorce kind of throw me off the idea of getting married?

Purple Rain

July 8th, 2010
9:27 am

Wise, I think she had other motives and wanted to make sure you were not a threat.
If your resume and job performance were good, said person would still have the job. Point being everyone has something to say, do not judge a person except by your own experience with them.
Why would a 35 year old man want a 25 year old woman?

It's me....lurker

July 8th, 2010
9:29 am

Where’s my post?! I was saying in terms of reputation I didn’t go with too much hulabaloo…my mind went to the way of EPO’s 9:05 post…if you get passed around a lot, word gets out.

To Steven Q’s unofficial theory on spinsters and cats and quilts…honestly I thought this this means the so-called “quality guys” going off the market in the late 20s to 40s range are soon right back on the market. half the folks blogging are divorcees and it seems to me the pool never deplets. Recycled a bit but NEVER dries.

It's me....lurker

July 8th, 2010
9:30 am

Where’s my post….this is the 3rd one!!!!

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:31 am

PR to funny it was a small thought to date younger and that is #dead so not interested and I still think that is not limiting my pool…….lol

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:31 am

Most people are not really free. They are confined by the niche in the world that they carve out for themselves. They limit themselves to fewer possibilities by the narrowness of their vision…………

It's me....lurker

July 8th, 2010
9:32 am

Again, in terms of reputation, I thinking like EPO’s 9:05 if you get passed around a lot, word gets out.

In terms of Steven Q’s rant on spinsters and cats and quilts, the divorce pool is at an all time high. Not finding someone available is the least of anybody’s worry. Half the folks blogging are divorced. Making it stick is where the challenge lies.

It's me....lurker

July 8th, 2010
9:33 am

Okay, I give up….I type that thing 4 times

AmazonRed™

July 8th, 2010
9:33 am

Morning all –

Well, it doesn’t really matter what my dating rep is. You can’t change the perception of what other people want to think of you. All I know is that I go into dating with good intentions, and do the best I can with what I’m given. Everyone has an agenda and objective, and I look to have fun, be good to the person I’m with and hopefully settle down one day.

SlimOne

July 8th, 2010
9:36 am

Blog monster ate my post I suppose

blue

July 8th, 2010
9:36 am

lol PR. wonder that too. presumably by 35 your somehwat “experienced”, wouldnt you want someone who can keep up? so either the 25 year old is a…well u know…or your just trying to prove your not as old as you feel lol

Professor

July 8th, 2010
9:36 am

Hola!

My dating rep is good. Like czBrat I haven’t been out there enough to have several guys saying this or that about me. I have had those dates here and there that really didn’t go anywhere, and those guys would say I just disappeared.

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:36 am

@ARed-Amen and ^^^^^^^5 – Well, it doesn’t really matter what my dating rep is. You can’t change the perception of what other people want to think of you……..(you sure can’t honey)!

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:37 am

waving @ professor! :)

free2be

July 8th, 2010
9:37 am

good morning all!:)

Purple Rain

July 8th, 2010
9:37 am

Trevor, I am a loser as well, I got married at age 37. LOL

blue

July 8th, 2010
9:39 am

@lady – like that statement, can i quote later lol. “Most people are not really free. They are confined by the niche in the world that they carve out for themselves. They limit themselves to fewer possibilities by the narrowness of their vision…………”

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:41 am

blue yes indeed!

Lady-Lioness-8/17

July 8th, 2010
9:42 am

trevor and pr stop lol yall are not losers and i am not either another person will not define me or my happiness or current mind state…..that is too much power and especially to a stranger…….lmbao!

hey free2be!

Leggs

July 8th, 2010
9:42 am

Good morning!

Dated in my 20’s late 30’s then married. Didn’t leave any negative energy with any of my ex’s. I would like to think my reputation is a decent one. I always say, dating in Atlanta is like driving around 285. It’s only a matter of time before you run into someone (literally and figuratively).

@WD ~ that was foolish of her to run down to you his dating tactics, esp since you guys aren’t friends. I could see if she wanted to spare you some heartache, but it seems she was just being malicious for the sheer sport of it.

kimmie

July 8th, 2010
9:43 am

Good morning lovely blog people!

Why oh why do some of you all still feel you need to respond to that SAME cut-and-paste post that Stanley Silly puts on here every other week?!! His tired lame rant cause nobody considers HIM their Prince Charming!

On topic – Yes, the pool is small here in the A. I am one of the few natives, so just in every day dealings I am likely to run into someone that knows someone I know or my family members know. It’s all good for me though, I’ve always carried myself in a respectable manner. Only one of my exes still lives in the A as far as I know anyway. The way you live your life should speak well of you, regardless of where you live or who you dated.