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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Let’s stay together

I think most people would agree that when things are bad in the bedroom, it could ruin a relationship.  What happens when that is the only good thing about the relationship?  Is that enough to sustain it? I ask because a friend told me recently that he is only in a relationship for one (technically, I suppose it’s several?) reason.  She’s really really talented.

When I asked him how long he thought that would last, he said as long as it is that good.  I don’t know if women think the same way.  Could great sex be the glue that holds an entire relationship together?  Can you end up married to someone just for that reason alone?  Wouldn’t things eventually come undone and you decide that all that great sex isn’t worth the headache?

What do you think?  Can or should sex be the reason you are with someone or stay with someone?

If nothing else about the relationship works, what would you do?

445 comments Add your comment

Lady-

July 7th, 2010
8:29 am

Enter your comments here

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
8:31 am

Dag I didn’t mean for that to happen lol!

Good Morning Crew!

Kym-You said you would love me until you died..as far as I know your still alive.

July 7th, 2010
8:34 am

Good Morning All,

Ohh this should be a good topic..to get us thru Hump day. First while I have had some great sex..and I mean tear the roof off the sucker..sex. I can’t say I have had any that would make me want to hang around just for that. I mean you can only stay naked for so long..(Even bunny rabbits have to eat) so if the whole relationship is just about doing the bunny hop..then no can’t say I would end up married to someone just for sex alone. IMO if a couple is building their world around the fact that they can make the walls sweat…4 or 5 nights a week and thats it. Then yeah it is going to get old eventually. I am sure some fellows will come on and say they could make it work..but I would love to know how.

It's me....lurker

July 7th, 2010
8:36 am

Question —->Can you end up married to someone just for that reason alone?

Answer—->Wouldn’t things eventually come undone and you decide that all that great sex isn’t worth the headache?

I want to be released (no pun intended) if it’s just about sex. IMO, “just sex” equals about a nickels worth. Can you even buy anything for five cents?

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
8:37 am

hmmmmmm great sex has never made anything whole for me…….it is so much more to the equation and having just that limits much more i think…….after a great session then what can we not chat about current events our passions, our likes and dislikes and so on???!!!!??? to me if it is just great sex really that may be the only purpose to see each other what else is holding it together???? hmmmmmmmm

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
8:38 am

its me lurker good post and i agree!

It's me....lurker

July 7th, 2010
8:40 am

Hey there Lady…how goes it? I was thinking the same thing about “binding.” Sex, great sex at that is all well and good….I CANNOT knock it but it’s definitely not binding.

kimmy

July 7th, 2010
8:47 am

Good Morning,

I dated a guy who was a crappy boyfriend. It started out great them it all stopped. I tried hard to get the old boyfriend back, but I think he knew he had me. We broke and got back together. The sex was great and maybe that’s why I held on longer than expected, but eventually without that emotional connection I once had for him the sex started to fade and was never the same. My passion was lost. I couldn’t be with someone just for good sex. Afterall Ga Power doesn’t take that as payment and sex doesn’t support you emotionally which we all need.

Ken

July 7th, 2010
8:47 am

I would like to try a relationship that is based primarily on great sex. Once I do, I’ll get back to you with an opinion – that is, if I have enough strength remaining.

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
8:49 am

you are right honey….it was a great ride truly but it held nothing I don’t regret that the ride ended bc it stood on nothing and that is a terrible feeling to release all your well you know and then get nothing in return………….chile no ma’am i’ve played that gmae and the horse was beyond dead and i am trying not to welcome it back when i see it is going in that direction i cut it better yet i am not as foolish as before to rush in bc i already know the end results……..far from perfect but I am getting to a good point of stabilty i think………..

I am doing well too can’t complain……these last few nights have been playing with me but i am holding on and pressing forward and can’t give in to this topic….lol……..i am impressing myself! lol

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
8:53 am

kimmy that was my downfall in my late twenties those dag on emotions but i promise I am containing them and thinking more and more…it is what it is….if one wants that I by no means judge them for that but i know I want more and great sex is just a fraction of the whole………those emotions will get one caught up each and every time……..my value is rising as I continue to shake dead weight and not entertain fooolishness………a person can do only what you allow……..we all have the power within to set the tone with what we are seeking….by no means is it easy but you have to stand on you and not society…..

LeeH1

July 7th, 2010
8:57 am

A good rationalization is better than good sex. You can have several good rationalizations a day.

As my Amish Grandmother once said, “Kissin’ don’t last- cookin’ do.” A relationship based on nothing but good sex is basically sterile, or even worse, heading for a child to really complex up things.

Also, good sex basically means someone in the couple is doing most of the work. This is great, until that person becomes tired of doing all the work and all the favors, and decides to change. This, from my experience, comes unexpectedly, and quickly.

After that, there is nothing holding you together. Bail out, while the bailing’s good, and the landing is still soft. You can always make up again when you get horny, but some time apart may give you a different perspective, and a different rationalization.

Professor

July 7th, 2010
8:58 am

Hola!

Ok, I will get right to the point. Wisey’s friend sounds like a young 17/18 year old fresh off a wet dream. I could see if he said she was a great FWB, but a relationship. My calendar states that it is 2010. If he is in Atlanta–super duper lame. Anyway, no that is not enough to make me stay. I want forever and I know if forever comes there will be days when we can only sit on the porch and drink moonshine iced tea and talk. When I get that age I am not going to do all of that nasty talk either. So again knocking boots timberlands is not enough to keep me even if it is ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo goooooooood.

Wassup Lady!

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:00 am

@ LeeH1 good post

@Lady I totally agree

@Kimmy, girl tell me about it…I know about that passion being lost.

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:02 am

What’s Good Professor honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a good day chica! ;)

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 7th, 2010
9:02 am

If that’s all that is good about the relationship, eventually, everything else that’s bad will spill over into that and it will go downhill as well. I can only get so many warm fuzzies and limited happy endings from someone that I don’t respect, can’t get along with and will probably end up hating.

If that’s all that is good, I’ll pass.

fresh

July 7th, 2010
9:04 am

Great topic, but what if you flip the script—sex is terrible and everything else is golden, would you stay then?

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:04 am

LMBAO girl a great FWB will come to a halt bc somebody is going to catch feelings and want more and 9 times out of ten it wiill be the woman and most times that situation will not flourish in to an exclusive relationship…..i applaud the ones that did but I know of any……lol

blue

July 7th, 2010
9:04 am

GM all – good sex enuf to hold all together, cant say as that works for me. i think like Professor said, FWB maybe, but most women need more than that for relationships. sex wont support me when i need, just a high for the moment and then back to the reality of whatever im facing. relationship material means you can deal with it all, and we can hold a convo without me having to say “hey, (fingers snapping) my eyes are up here!”

street smart

July 7th, 2010
9:04 am

There aint nuthin wrong with good sex. If the other parts of the relationship are lacking like intellectual, mental, whatever then so what? Hang on to what you got until you think youve found something better. I would rather be in a relationship where the sex is good and all the rest is lack luster than be in a relationship that is good inellectually but the sex is lackluster. No point in being lonely, know what Im sayin?

Anthony

July 7th, 2010
9:05 am

It’s a very hard question to answer. As much as I would like to say no, I would disagree. I’ve been engaged with a women who is a few years older then me for about 4 years. The sex is AMAZING! Complete satisfaction for the both of us every time, almost like we were built for each other. But she loves to argue, and complain about this smallest things. Saying that I also say that I do on occasion give her issues to do, but not often. We have tried to split, and date other people. But when it get’s to the point where I become physical with the other person, it’s just not the same. So I guess for the time being it is sustaining us. I do hope to end the relationship with her before things explode and we can no longer stand the sight of each other; but hey, I’ve been trying to do that for three years now!

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:06 am

fresh you said a mouthful and to be honest yes we can make it work or I would give it my all……it is some many sides to sex and think out the box to keep the flames going can be done but just shutting down saying I don’t want to have sex with you any more persiod will cause the conflict i think……

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:07 am

hmmmmm street smart you think…….lol

Reality

July 7th, 2010
9:08 am

I got married for great sex once to a really great looking blonde. She gave me a bleeding stomach ulcer and made my life miserable. She was unbelievably amazing in bed and thought a good screaming fight was a good aphrodisiac and part of foreplay. I guess I didn’t agree. That marriage was very short lived. After I left my ulcer got better and I’ve never had another one.

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:09 am

@fresh, great question. Personally I would give it a chance because my teaching skills are excellent, if he is willing to learn.

@blue exactly, why would you be in a relationship just for the good good? It is 2010, the era of shacking, FWB and society will not judge you like it is 1949. For some reason, dude is wack-o for a jack-o.

@Lady, you already know someone is going to catch feelings. Look at Sasssssssssy’s little boy toy asking questions like he didn’t know. :???:

Wise Diva

July 7th, 2010
9:17 am

That is what surprised me about this situation Professor, he is 34 years old, and I always considered him to be mature…until now LOL. I meant to include his age in the post

blue

July 7th, 2010
9:17 am

i do think in this day and age tho, where sex before marriage isnt as taboo as it once it once was, good sex will definitely help you decide whether or not you want to try to cultivate anything else.
but agree keeping it strictly physical wont work, someone will catch feelings. and as much as men like to talk like we’re the only ones who do, it happens to them just the same. just wait till she’s been FWB with benefits for awhile, got your head on crooked, and she looks at someone else. thats when they’ll feel it, that attitude seems to be ” i dont have to put a ring on it, but no one else can either” lol

Trevor0529

July 7th, 2010
9:17 am

Good Morning all,

great posts from everyone today on this topic.

@street smart, interesting point of view. :cool:

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:18 am

@Reality, wow not an ulcer.

@Street smart, gotcha see reality’s post

@Anthony, see reality don’t get an ulcer now

:grin:

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:21 am

@Wisey, maybe he was thirsty, dehydrated, and living in a drought before she came…LOL.

@Blue i dont have to put a ring on it, but no one else can either” lol
so true on that one.

CoolShadow

July 7th, 2010
9:22 am

That relationship has the earmark of an FWB arrangement, and if that’s all he needs then cool. But for a serious relationship if mind-blowing sex is the raison d’être, that probably won’t sustain it long term. Physical gratification may be covered, but what happens when you need emotional and/or intellectual gratification?

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:22 am

blue hot mess lolololololololol no accountabilty but you are mine! lol

I am whatever you say I am

July 7th, 2010
9:23 am

Morning Blog….
I think that when it is that talented (for lack of a better word), it makes it that hard to leave….
really hard…..

AmazonRed™

July 7th, 2010
9:28 am

Well, we all know sex alone can’t sustain a relationship, and lack of sex can ruin one.

But I will say, that I’m realizing more and more how important a good sex life is to a relationship. And I think a lot of problems can be aleviated when you don’t add the stress of not getting any (or not getting any good sex) to the mix. When you’re able to connect to your partner in the bedroom, it helps you connect on other levels too.

Morning all. :)

JS

July 7th, 2010
9:29 am

Great sex is a myth.

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:31 am

Wasssup ARed and I am…..

@I am…you know I am a bit old fashioned not a prude but old school I will find out what we have in common before I know your hot spot.

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:32 am

it does ared make the connections all connections great……it is very important…….

???

July 7th, 2010
9:33 am

Is it just me or does Professorplace you in the mind of a Bonquesha or Keelolo? Ghetto Fabulous. Knocking timberlands? Ghetto Fab

AmazonRed™

July 7th, 2010
9:34 am

Morning Professssa!

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:36 am

just read this “however, steamy sex can’t be a substitute for doing the real work in the relationship” lol part of my daily Leo read how ironic….lol

abc

July 7th, 2010
9:36 am

Plainly, no, sex is not enough to sustain a relationship. Obviously. You can get great sex from about anybody. Criteria for a great relationship is far more complicated.

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:37 am

???, if you had what Professor had you would be more than a ??? (question) you would have an answer. Now marinate on that with your GED.

BTW, get some balls or at least get them out your mouth and stop posting under different monikers. Shall, we meet to discuss this matter???
:cool:

Trevor0529

July 7th, 2010
9:38 am

@Professor, I see your fan club came into blogsville to say “hello” to you.
:)

Lady-Everything happens for a reason!

July 7th, 2010
9:39 am

i agree abc!

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:40 am

@Trevor, so true. Of all the things going on they talk about me, and it does wonders for my ego. I simply love it, think about it with the BP oil spill, healthcare, the economy, AZ law etc. this person loves Professor someone on a blog.

I feel like some kind of star…lol

blue

July 7th, 2010
9:41 am

@ARed – very definitely.
too be considered along with that i think is how you define good sex. for me its physical yes, but mental too. you got to play to my mind too, not just my body. think a lot of people are that way also, and there are a lot who forget that both parts are important. i think SexyCool mentioned earlier, if theres no respect and we cant get along outside the sheets, cant deal. cant cut it with just the physical…but then again, im not 19 anymore, lol. back then i think it worked just fine :)

blue

July 7th, 2010
9:43 am

@Lady – fellow Leo here, happy bday to us!

Professor

July 7th, 2010
9:43 am

I just sat ??? down, anybody else want some, or shall we keep it :cool: on here

I thought not! Kinda like in the outkast song “who else want to —- with zone 3?

CMS

July 7th, 2010
9:43 am

Great sex is a myth?! The hell you say.

It's enough for now

July 7th, 2010
9:44 am

I have this fwb thing going on right now, incredible sex, but it’s not fulfilling in the long run. But like one post said, it is incredibly hard to break it off from someone you have had this type of relationship for a couple of years plus, and then when do you find the time to meet the whole package if your wasting time trying to make the other work? It’s a self esteem issue. I just can’t settle anymore.