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Dating: Has the definition of single changed?

I suppose I should not be shocked whenever it turns out someone is not as “single” as they claimed to be.  I recently exchanged numbers with a guy (younger) who pretended to be unattached.

It wasn’t until I got a call from his significant (and livid) other that I learned he was involved with someone.  They actually lived together. What made him think he could date me in his situation? I had to laugh at how pathetic that entire incident was. I’m too old for this!

It is so annoying to discover you wasted your time on someone who decided to “hedge their bets” on the dating game.  I can understand dating around and keeping your options open as long as you are upfront and honest about it.  It is rare to find someone who tells you the absolute truth about his or her relationship status.   Even on Facebook that ridiculous “it’s complicated” feature perpetuates the problem.

When I meet someone that sparks an interest, I ask them the question are you married or seeing someone special.  This is a pretty clear question right?  Why is it hard to admit you are in a relationship or working on one?

Do I need to frame the question differently? Should I specify by asking about live-ins, separated from wife, etc.?

When you meet people, how do you determine if they are actually single and available?  Would you still be interested in someone if they were involved with another person?

435 comments Add your comment

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
8:11 am

Would you still be interested in someone if they were involved with another person?

Uhhh No, if they will cheat with you they will cheat on you. And living with someone is well beyond “Involved”.

Cee714

July 6th, 2010
8:22 am

I always tried to make the question as “lie-proof” as possible. Something like, “Is there anyone who would be upset/mad/hurt if they knew you were asking for my number/going out with me/trying to holla’? :-)

sexyCOOL

July 6th, 2010
8:29 am

Doesn’t matter what question you ask. If they are going to lie, they are going to lie.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
8:31 am

SexyC, you are so right!

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
8:46 am

Good Morning All,

Wisey, I have to agree with sexyC..you can play 20 questions until you are blue in the face. If there is a lie to be told..dude will tell it. I know your situation was not funny at the time. But I bet when that young lady called you..you had to look at your calendar and go..wait a minute..did I just fall into a time warp..this is not highschool!! I know you said the guy was young but even old dogs are still using this trick.

free2be

July 6th, 2010
8:50 am

good morning everyone!:) the present dating culture reflects a basic disrespect for any sort of commitment. people who are not married are technically calling themselves single regardless of being in a relationship. you even have unhappy married folks calling themselves single…lol. it’s really a shame how the boundaries of being single have been warped.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
9:01 am

Good Morning,

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Its easier for people to lie because the truth hurts.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:04 am

Hola!

Hey free2be!

On topic: Dude was lame, and his girl was LAME-ER. Really, calling someone over “her” man. :???:

Anyway, I have been in situations where I did not want everybody to hear my business, or put the person down in front of a crowd by not handing giving out my number. HOWEVER, I feel like the first conversation you should come clean and let the suitor know the following:

A). You are married
B). You are engaged
C). You all live together
D). You have a FWB situation
E). You are trying to get in where you fit in It’s complicated
F). All of the above.

OR, you all can play true/false.

We sleep together, eat together, see each other three times a week and talk four times a day (text endlessly). Is this considered a relationship True or False

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
9:10 am

Professor

LMBO :lol:

free2be

July 6th, 2010
9:11 am

hey professor!:)

mark

July 6th, 2010
9:11 am

im single totaly single and i cant meet a decent lady :( for the past 5 yrs i have worked hard to inprove myself and now that im doing ok and im ready to be in a relationship i cant find anyone:( i hear the ladies say there are no good men left well im starting to feel the same way about the sistas. so sistas are there any good ones left if so where are you?????

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:13 am

Free2be do you have big plans this week?

@PK you know I am telling the truth :grin:

Off topic: After being off four days it is difficult getting into the groove of things. :sad:

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:13 am

Free2be do you have big plans this week?

@PK you know I am telling the truth :grin:

Off topic: After being off four days it is difficult getting into the groove of things. :sad:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
9:17 am

Professor I know, which is what made me laugh. Seems people want to be single whenever its convenient for them to be.

and yes after so many days off it it is extra hard getting into the groove. I did not want to see 5am this morning, especially since i slept on and off til noon yesterday!

Sasha

July 6th, 2010
9:18 am

I think each circumstance must be judged on it’s own merit. I live with my ex because it is more economical for both of us. I lost my job at one point and he was looking for a place to live. No we are no longer involved and we are very much single. Of course we have rules in regards to our shared space, but he has become my friend and friend only. I will admit that it is difficult to explain my living arrangements to a date, but I do it on a need to know basis. I don’t know how much longer we will be this way, but reading your comments you don’t leave room for gray. But to answer the question, you are single until you are married or committed enough to not see other people.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
9:23 am

Sasha,

seems you and your ex have settled into a roomate situation. Which in my opinion is not the same as “living together or shacking” Also, you stated he is friend and friend only so I doubt you would be calling some other chick questioning her about him, correct?

committed enough to not see other people.

I would think that if you and your significant other took the steps to move in together that you felt you were committed enough not to see other people.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
9:25 am

@Sasha,

I am curious. Would you let a date know about your current living arrangements? How long do you hold on to that information?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:25 am

@Sasha, would you allow your suitor to pick you up for a date, or stop by to watch a movie?

@PK…girl I know. I have been on my own routine, sleeping, eating and staying up so this back to reality hurts.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
9:28 am

@Professor and @PK…I feel no sympathy for either of you. Shake off that lethargy!! :)

blue

July 6th, 2010
9:28 am

GM all, Professor LMAO. impossible to get into this being back to work thing….
agree thats lame calling some chick randomly about your man. deal with HIM at home, if hes worth dealing with at all.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:29 am

@Trevor it is bad over here. I wanted to call in sick today, but I don’t do stuff like that–so maybe tomorrow j/k. :grin:

Sasha

July 6th, 2010
9:31 am

@Nik – you are right I wish him well in his datiing efforts

@Trevor – I would let them ask, I don’t volunteer and tell everything. I think if I found somwone that I really liked, it may even be harder to share, for rear of rejection, some people may not understand. My arrangement was tied to my econimic state, who wants to share that

Sasha

July 6th, 2010
9:33 am

@ Prof – No our agreement is not to entertain at our place, but he could pick me up.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:37 am

@Blue- I was wondering the same thing, who calls another chick over a man. That is like super crazy. Back in the day I received a few of those phone calls and I would say something eloquent like this, ”If it is YOUR man why are you calling me? Madame, YOUR is a possessive pronoun, therefore you need to speak with the person YOU need to speak with the person that belongs to YOU, which is NOT me. Now if you call me again over some ish I will file charges. I got to go he is calling me now…toodles :grin:

@Sasha, have you let anyone pick you up from home on a date or stop by since you had these arrangements?

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
9:37 am

Good morning, everyone!

@SexyC ~ what color tee shirt did you get for the P’tree Road Race. I didn’t see any news this weekend. Congratulations!

@Mark ~ there are plenty of good women and men out there looking for each other. I’m still looking and frowning….can you make me smile???

One comment I can not stand is “it’s complicated.” Like hell it is. You’re either in it or you’re not!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:38 am

@Sasha, thanks for answering the question.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:40 am

@Mark, are you the same guy that will not date a women if she dated a swiss guy? Please pardon me, but I have the Tuesday morning blues. :smile:

How old are you, and what steps have you taken to better yourself if you don’t mind answering.

free2be

July 6th, 2010
9:41 am

@Professor…nothing big going on this weekend. i will go to luckie on friday evening. that’s about all so far.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
9:41 am

@Sasha, your situation is your situation and it is temporary. if you found someone that you liked, tell him and let him decide. if he is not cool with it, then move on to the next one.

free2be

July 6th, 2010
9:43 am

if there are complications or issues that are uncomfortable to explain, that person is NOT dateable period. it is selfish to subject other people to the mess he/she is involved in. when things clear up, then date. after all, it’s about timing. life is challenging enough as we all have stories so why add more drama? regardless of the logic behind it, if one is in a “complicated” state of affairs, i will make things less complicated by leaving them alone….

Professor

July 6th, 2010
9:47 am

@free2be I think I am just going to chill this weekend. Nothing big going on that I can remember at this point. LOL this one, regardless of the logic behind it, if one is in a “complicated” state of affairs, i will make things less complicated by leaving them alone….

I agree…

@Trevor and Sasha I agree, in fact GMA did a special on divorce couples still living together in this economy. We all know houses are not selling and the economy is bad.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
9:48 am

have been on my own routine, sleeping, eating and staying up so this back to reality hurts.

@ Professor, and to make it even better lil mama stayed with my mom Sunday night and didn’t come home til 9 something yesterday! So I had a lazy day for real!

blue

July 6th, 2010
9:49 am

one thing i dont understand on this topic, is why there are so many folks out there who dont care what your status is? your honest and upfront, im married, engaged, dating, complicated, whatever, all boiling down to u are attached, y is this person still trying to talk. seems respect for relationships period is going out the window.

SlimOne...cravin' Mr. Goodbar

July 6th, 2010
9:50 am

Good morning everybody. Hope all yall’s holiday went well. The wedding turned out pretty nice. The bride came riding in on a white horse and carriage making everyone cry. :cry:

I briefly dated a guy that told me he was single…then one day I get a call from his phone, naturally thinking it was him. Low and behold, it was his FIANCE. She wasn’t rude or anything like that but it was news to me. I kept it real with her because it was obvious she had more invested in it than i did. He calls me back like the next day asking why I told her we went out to movies & out to eat…i’m like dude, you lied to both of us. Why should I know have some loyalty to you? Are you kidding me…

You ain’t gotta lie to kick it mayne! :roll:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
9:51 am

seems respect for relationships period is going out the window.

@ Blue, you make a valid point. I noticed this also. My thought has always been if you don’t respect marriage before you get married what makes you think you can have a succesful one.

SlimOne...cravin' Mr. Goodbar

July 6th, 2010
9:53 am

’seems respect for relationships period is going out the window.’

blue – you’re right. Can’t tell you how many times a guy has approached me and asked if I was seeing anyone. If I was in a relationship, they’d then try to go the “Oh well you can have friend can’t you?” route. So you were trying to holla at me a second ago, now all of a sudden you just want to be my friend? Suuuuurrree you do.

SlimOne...cravin' Mr. Goodbar

July 6th, 2010
9:54 am

PrincessNik – did you hear that guy on V-103 talking about how ALLLL men cheat and a woman should never leave a man for him sleeping with someone else? He said women cheat because they are lacking something or not getting something in the relationship…women cheat to fill a need. He said men just do it because they are a man…don’t have a reason.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
9:54 am

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
9:55 am

I would equate WD’s situation to being “almost pregnant.” Either you’re in or you’re not. No gray areas. Lying is unnecessary, a deal breaker and so not sexy. Who would remain interested in a person of no honor? And if you lie, you’re a liar.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
9:56 am

“So you were trying to holla at me a second ago, now all of a sudden you just want to be my friend?”

Friend with benefits, Slim… friend with benefits/… ;-) :lol:

M. (pronouced Mdot and fresh from Chicago)

July 6th, 2010
9:57 am

Interesting topic..

This is the rule and not the exception these days that people arent keeping it all the way 100. I think it breaks down to 3 problems:

1. People are greedy and want it all.
2. People like having their ego stroked even if they are in a relationship. They like the idea of 2 or more people sweating them.
3. People want to know they can get someone else if they need to.

When I meet a woman, I determine if they are actually available by the energy that they give off. If they seem never available, always texting, flaking out on dates
and trying to reschedule, etc..they may be seeing somebody.

I think we guys mess up because when we meet a woman, we automatically assume she’s just at home baking cookies and waiting on us. NOPE. She is out and in the game playing! Never assume and always remember…with most women, there is a guy in their life at some capacity. Think about that…BF, dating, jumpoff, something!

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
9:58 am

Slim, I didn’t hear that, but I’ve heard that particular argument before, I don’t know if I fully agree or fully disagree. I will say i think women need a reason to cheat in MOST cases and men cheat because they can in MOST cases. These days its open call with cheating though, with so many women who “relish” the role of the other woman, and people in general just not having respect for relationships, their own or someone elses. SMH

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:00 am

1. People are greedy and want it all.

@ M. i had a guy trying to “get at me” nevermind he is married to one of my high school “associates”(10 years), I was like why you trying to get at me so hard, are you not happy, he said “no i’m happy, i’m just greedy”, I was like well that’s nice to know but I don’t do married men so you need to keep i moving.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
10:03 am

@blue good point on that 9:49. As much as I hate this saying, but this boils down to folks having their cake and eating it too.

@Slim now I feel sorry for chicks like that…when I worked at the airport years ago. I remember talking to this guy I believe he said he attended college here, but was going home for winter break or something. Anyway it was a lie and his WIFE called me :cry: in the phone and just going crazy. Now I felt bad for her and I told her to go and talk to him, and I did tell her that he approached me etc. Long story short I told her to calm down because I was here in Atlanta and she was there with him. Apparently he did business here in Atlanta, but was not a student like he claimed to be.

I just feel these sociopaths need to stop all that lying and tell both parties wassup.

M. (pronouced Mdot and fresh from Chicago)

July 6th, 2010
10:05 am

@Mark

There is probably nothing wrong with you. Sometimes the dating game gets slow and you gotta take your show on the road. Dont change to accomodate a woman. Be yourself and have the attitude if she is not feeling you then something must be wrong with her.

M. (pronouced Mdot and fresh from Chicago)

July 6th, 2010
10:10 am

@PrincessNik

Wow..the greed goes both ways.

I hear that alot from women in Atlanta. They meet a married guy and ask him whats his status and the top answers are:

1. I am seperated (which means I checked out of the marriage emotionally and in my mind awhile ago but she still thinks we are married.)

2. We are just not on the same page but we live together.

Thats funny. I know a woman who is dealing with a married guy and she used to be friends with the woman. He told my friend that they havent been happy in years, so why not get a divorce and just leave?

Sassy Me...feelin some type of waaay :-)

July 6th, 2010
10:11 am


1. People are greedy and want it all.
2. People like having their ego stroked even if they are in a relationship. They like the idea of 2 or more people sweating them.
3. People want to know they can get someone else if they need to.

Couldn’t agree with you more on your list M

Never assume and always remember…with most women, there is a guy in their life at some capacity. Think about that…BF, dating, jumpoff, something!

This right here definitely goes BOTH ways…but I don’t think it applies ALL of the time…but that’s just my opinion….I’m jus sayin’

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

July 6th, 2010
10:16 am

He told my friend that they havent been happy in years, so why not get a divorce and just leave?

Isn’t that the married man shpiel?…I mean don’t they ALL use the same line/lie? And if you’re that unhappy then why stay and continue to be miserable?…is it b/c they’re comfortable and don’t want to “start over” elsewhere?..or is it b/c they don’t wanna part with some of their money/assets? I wonder…

M. (pronouced Mdot and fresh from Chicago)

July 6th, 2010
10:16 am

@Sassy

Thats cool. I see what you are saying. But also, its easier for women to get a man. Guys have to work and go through the motions to get someone. Its more work for us.

Notice I didnt say its easy for a woman to get a relationship, but they can go to qt and get a man faster than gas and a cherry soda ;)

Professor

July 6th, 2010
10:18 am

One of my FB friends changed her status to single. Several of her FB friends made comments on being sorry for her etc. She made a comment that she is single, because she does not want to be a cheater.

Question: What about the folks that avoid the “labels” on a relationship so that they can get around and scrub the ground with anybody anytime, because they are single?

@M.(dot) right on!

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
10:18 am

Hey, Leggs! Thanks for your well wishes via text on Sunday morning. It was much appreciated.

I wore a hot pink RunATL t-shirt in the race and of course, received the gray P’tree shirt at the finish line. My official time (walked the entire route) was 1:49:00. It was a really cool event. It is sure to be something that we will do as a tradition going forward. Me, my bestie, TheDude, his bestie, his dad, his sister and his brother all took part. My fave memoir from the day is the picture of all of us together after the finish.

From a physical standpoint, I ended up being less than impressed with myself because I realized that it only compares to the walks around Stone Mountain that I do regularly with one of my girlfriends (when we park in the free lot outside the gate.) – But a cool experience nonetheless.

How did your Feed the Homeless volunteering go?

George P

July 6th, 2010
10:20 am

Well I’m in a tricky situation, and if you all have advice, I’m all ears. My girlfriend of almost 2 years called for a break, something I don’t want, but I might as well not sit back and mope and do nothing right? But I am still crazy about her and hope we can work things out. What should I do? Should I meet nice girls and just not mention it? Or should I be completely honest and forthcoming from the get go? It’s a sticky situation, and right now I don’t bring it up, but answer any and all questions truthfully. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for or how I feel, but I might as well act single even if I don’t truly feel or want to be. What would you do if you were me?

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:21 am

that they can get around and scrub the ground with anybody anytime

:lol: :lol:

free2be

July 6th, 2010
10:22 am

@sexycool…congrats on finishing the race!:) was this your first one. this was my second one…i really enjoyed it.

GHANA

July 6th, 2010
10:22 am

Why is it hard to admit you are in a relationship or working on one?

Good morning folks,hope u had some wonderful celebs in ur hoods!

Well, WD..u think that trick Damon had in the car asked the qstion??

If she did,I bet she didnt care about the answer seeing that Damon had the red nikkers in his hands already,well be4 they got to the motel.

Well maybe he just wanted to drive an’ finger and prep be4 he got to the motel to finish off the damn bizziness!

Forgive the menfolk ladies..please forgive them…when there is a trick ready in front of u..u hedge ur bets on what the best answer should be..with the cootie always in ur mind!

:lol:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:23 am

@ Professor,

I’ve been around some people who avoid the labels of a relationship, and i’m always like, you don’t want the other person to be with anyone else you want them to commit to you while you commit to doing whatever you want. It just aint right.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
10:25 am

@Sasssssssssssssssy and M.(dot) this lady that used to attend my church really shocked me :shock: Long story short she was telling me about the problems she was having with her man. She has always been protective of the relationship and it seems like he just appeared out of the blue living with her. Well since she started telling me about the problems I asked her, “how did they meet?” Can you believe it was her close friend’s man??? :shock: She told me the lady did not clean up, so she would go over there and clean up, wash clothes, burn candles and stuff because the nasty house bothered her. She started playing cards with dude and drinking wine with him and he moved into her place. Her line to me was I was not trying to do all of that he came with me. :shock: :roll: :???:

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
10:25 am

George – just be still for a bit and do nothing.

Mostly because you are obviously not in a place emotionally to be dealing with a new person. It would be unfair for a new person to be pulled into the place that you are in right now.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
10:25 am

@George P, from all the questions you are asking, I would sit still and and not date anyone for now. The break from your girlfriend is just too new. Do you first and not another person. Just my thoughts.
:)

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:28 am

the lady did not clean up, so she would go over there and clean up, wash clothes, burn candles and stuff because the nasty house bothered her.

WTH!!!!!, if it wasn’t bothering the people who had to live in it, then she shoulda just met that friend out in public and not went over there.

I was not trying to do all of that he came with me

UHHHH, she had to let him come otherwise he woulda stayed wit Nasty!

SlimOne...cravin' Mr. Goodbar

July 6th, 2010
10:29 am

Friend with benefits, Slim… friend with benefits/

@ swiss – well if i’m telling you I’m already talking to someone or whatever, shouldn’t you assume i’m already getting some benefits? lol So now you(general term) want to get the leftovers of someone elses puddy, which depending on how well they are at the upkeep of the catty, may not be any leftovers? lmao

USMC DAWG

July 6th, 2010
10:29 am

Wise Diva,
You need to get off the McDonald’s diet and go see the world.
These scenarios have been happening since Caveman days.
Life does not work that perfectly, neat and clean as you are advocating.
Answer this question: Do you think a man or woman worth having does not atrract attention from others?
The Fact is that you would think somthing was wrong with the guy if he was Totally single.
You are more attracted to men when they walk into a room with a woman hanging on their arm. That’s a fact.
So quit waiting for everything to be so perfect and get out there and mix it up.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:30 am

which depending on how well they are at the upkeep of the catty, may not be any leftovers?

Thats what’s up slim! :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
10:30 am

Morning all –

Folks have so many options they can’t pick one anymore. Yes, it sucks when you’re involved and someone else catches your eye. Don’t mess with your karma though trying to be a playa tho.

I met a guy recently who let me know he was serious about getting to know me. My current and I are taking things slow, so it was nice to talk to a guy who claimed he wanted to move a little more quickly. But you know what, I know a good thing when I see it, and am not willing to risk losing it. Besides, a guy in the hunt will pretty much tell you anything.

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
10:30 am

f2b – It was my first time participating in the P’tree and my first 10k. Oh…and ended up getting a Wave J start number, but started Wave X with my bestie anyways.

Same thing with TheDude. He was Wave J, but started Wave P with his best friend.

George P

July 6th, 2010
10:31 am

SexyCool and Trevor, thanks for the advice (both saying the same, I should probably listen). But I mean, it’s been 3 weeks and she’s opening up to other guys, how long do I have to wait before I’m just being a pathetic and hopeless romantic waiting for something that may never come back? I know how to behave myself and not jump to fast, so when is the right time to get back out there and see what there is?

Lucinda

July 6th, 2010
10:31 am

Loser: So, can I get your number?
Lucinda: No, I’m seeing somebody.
Loser: Is it serious?
Lucinda: Yeah, it is.
Loser: So, can I get your number?
Lucinda: No! I don’t play like that.
Loser: Well, I can be your back door man.

Aaaarrrghhhhh!

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:33 am

Loser: Well, I can be your back door man.

also known as Jody :lol:

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
10:34 am

@George – only you will know when the right time is. Just be patient and work on you for now. You will know.

GHANA

July 6th, 2010
10:34 am

Besides, a guy in the……. hunt…….. will pretty much tell you anything!

I like that Ared..thats whats up!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
10:35 am

@Pk exactly, but she was trying to kick it to me like it was normal to play Molly Maid at other folks’ houses. :???:

I just feel the standards are so low sometimes that those of us with values get left in the cold

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
10:35 am

George P — If she’s calling for “a break” & opening up to new guys, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s over, bro. Cut your losses & move on. Sorry to be so harsh, but it will save you some heartache in the long run…

free2be

July 6th, 2010
10:36 am

@sexycool…that’s good.:) ppl move around from group to group all the time. those volunteers can’t keep up w/50,000 folks! LOL there were even ppl there who didn’t have numbers. only downside to that is u get no t-shirt and no official time. i will prob do another 10K next month (the Labor Day Classic). if you thought Cardiac Hill was something…those Cobb Parkway hills are no joke!

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

July 6th, 2010
10:37 am

What about the folks that avoid the “labels” on a relationship so that they can get around and scrub the ground

They’re being greedy and still holding out “hope” that they may find something/one better.

She started playing cards with dude and drinking wine with him and he moved into her place. Her line to me was I was not trying to do all of that he came with me.

:shock:

And this was someone from church?…what I don’t understand Professooooooooor is the emotional state some women are in such that they will do anything to get a man…or at least a semblance of a man b/c whoever that dude is doesn’t really sound like a real man.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:37 am

I just feel the standards are so low sometimes that those of us with values get left in the cold

AMEN PROFESSOR

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
10:38 am

George – it sounds more like a break-up than a break. If she is seeing other people, accept the situation as it is and not as you want it to be. Let her know that you are not going to allow yourself to be put on a layaway plan and that you are going to stop participating in her mess. It sounds like she has moved away from you and you should begin to get used to the idea of moving on without her.

Better her to flake out on you now rather than later.

If you really want to see where she is in her head with the whole situation, cut off all contact with her. Do not be available to her at all. Do not call. Do not text. Do not email. Nothing. When she calls, don’t answer. When she texts, don’t respond. If she really doesn’t know if she wants you in her life, then you have to allow her to experience life without you in it. Otherwise, she is just enjoying the best of both worlds.

Regardless of what decisions you make, I wish you all the best and hope that all things work out to your good.

George P

July 6th, 2010
10:39 am

@Trevor – Thanks again for the sage-like advice haha
@Swiss – What does a break mean to you? I’ve got friends who’ve survived breaks before. Actually, 2 of them have come back stronger and now have tied the knot. Not saying that’s me, but I honestly don’t know what will happen

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:39 am

And this was someone from church?…

everyone attending church isn’t “saved”, some are worse than the devil, some are works in progress, and some just go cause they have been told they should.

blue

July 6th, 2010
10:40 am

@PrincessNik – I will say i think women need a reason to cheat in MOST cases and men cheat because they can in MOST cases.
I would agree with that statement, i think for most women its something emotional underlying it, for most men it seems simply whats been said “having your cake and eating it too” But then, MOST. there are some women who are simply about the ego of being able to pull someone in addition to whoevers at home, and men sometimes get caught in emotion.

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
10:40 am

Good morning! Hope everyone had a great & safe holiday weekend!

Slim – I had a situation similiar to your 9:50, but the guy’s WIFE called me. Come to find out she was a flight attendant based in NYC, so he hedged his bets when he gave me his home number that she would not be at home. I cussed him out on his cell and never spoke to him again.

Yeah, it’s a lot of folks out there trying to have their cake & eat it too. I’ve met quite a few guys in the past that were in “complicated” situations. They were living with their girlfriends, but claimed it was just a roommate situation or they wanted to be close to their kid. Yeah, but what would girlfriend have to say about that? Bottom line, I don’t care what your relationship is, if a guy is living with another female that is not a blood relative, he’s not “free”! Next!

George P – Your situation is not tricky but you are going to make it tricky by involving a innocent lady looking for a nice guy. I don’t know WHY dudes have to be so messy – getting involved with someone new before they end clearly end things with someone else!

mark – Quit blaming Atlanta women for your own shortcomings. Take ownership.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
10:41 am

If she really doesn’t know if she wants you in her life, then you have to allow her to experience life without you in it

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Great advice!

blue

July 6th, 2010
10:43 am

“She made a comment that she is single, because she does not want to be a cheater” i must respect her for that. at least be honest about who you are and what you want. if you arent ready to be exclusive, let the person who is ready go so they can find someone who matches them. let you both do what makes you happy, not simply able to say you stayed together for x amount of months, years but are both miserable

George P

July 6th, 2010
10:44 am

@Sexy – Just to be clear, she’s not with anyone new yet, but she’s not ruling it out yet. To be honest, I don’t know what stage she’s at with anyone, but I don’t think she’s moved too fast.

I do like your advice of cutting off contact completely to really see where she stands. It’s just hard to do, but I guess that’s the best thing to do. Thanks again everyone!

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
10:45 am

George P — Well, maybe it’s just me, but the fact that she’s already out there fishing for new dudes is a big red flag to me. I know it sounds harsh, but I’ve been in your position myself & like you I didn’t want to believe that it was really over. But it was. I just wish I had come to the realization sooner — I could have saved myself a lot of angst (as Melo would say).

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
10:48 am

@George – you are welcome. I will send you a bill later this week for the advice.
:)

abc

July 6th, 2010
10:50 am

It’s not ambiguous or an unclear, sort-of kind of issue. You’re either in a committed relationship, i.e. and ergo unavailable, or you’re not. A person as described in the topic is just a cheater, plain and simple.

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
10:52 am

George – You can even tell her upfront that you need some time to just be so that you can decide if this is what you really want. Because you are kind of making it sound like she is the one who ultimately decides what happens in the relationship. When really, you have just as much say so as she does.

How you end up feeling in this situation – pathetic, love-sick or empowered – is totally up to you and will be determined by the attitude and actions that you take at this point.

GHANA

July 6th, 2010
10:53 am

My girlfriend of almost 2 years called for a break, something I don’t want

By George move on buddy…!!

How old are u anyway..I hope 20/21 for u to be asking these kinds of qstions about a girl thats laying u down easy. U soiund kinda juvenile at best.

Crying over a girl??

If a girl were feeling u and u were hitting her in all the right corners and nodes,why wld she need to have a break??

Cmeone man..dust urself up and learn from this experience and move on.

Only a girl asks the kinds of qstions u asking..Im sorry!!

I will leave u with this girlie :roll: :roll: at ur qstions!! :lol: :lol:

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

July 6th, 2010
10:54 am

I just feel the standards are so low sometimes that those of us with values get left in the cold.

Tell di trut n shame di devil la Professoraaaaaa.

everyone attending church isn’t “saved”, some are worse than the devil.

Princess I’ve had my share of those,too. Some of the main ones in the front pews are the freakiest…the boy toy I just let go is a preacher’s son…but I digress.

kimmy

July 6th, 2010
10:56 am

Hi,
I ask if they are single, married, or just dating. I then ask if there is anyone who thinks that they are their boyfriend. If there is any hesitation then he’s attached to some degree and not available to date me. Unless you are filling out a tax return there are tons of grey areas when it comes to relationships so be specific people tend to wiggle around the grey areas to get you to continue on with the relationship. Being truthful would be great, but there are just as many liars as honest people out there.

What time is it?

July 6th, 2010
10:56 am

Have their cake & eat it too. Women withhold information as well. I met this woman at a club and we exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone a few times and then her boyfriend calls me. The conversation went like this. “Who are you and how do you know Kim (not her name).” I said that we are friends. He said, “I didn’t know we had friends that we didn’t know about. I got to start getting me some friends.” I didn’t know she was in a committed relationship. I guess she liked me but didn’t want to miss an opportunity by telling the truth. I did not take her calls anymore. Let people know the situation upfront so they can make an informed decision.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
10:56 am

:lol: @ Melo… See now, I was trying to be more diplomatic, but you pretty much summed it up there… :lol:

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
10:56 am

..they may be seeing somebody.

M dot – There is a difference between a person that is seeing someone special/dating one exclusively versus someone that is just dating around. You are right, if a young woman is attractive, outgoing and alive in this city, 9 times out of 10 she may have a date or 2, she’s not at home sitting by the phone. How long do you think it should take dating YOU before she drops all of her other options and yall become exclusive?

kimmy

July 6th, 2010
11:00 am

@ Mark..There are tons of good women. I am one of them who is in your situation. Keep looking and don’t settle. You made need to change your locations. Try new places and events. We’re out there. Good luck!

Dig That

July 6th, 2010
11:02 am

Good morning erybody

Of course, this is almost a recycled subject again, however I remember it vividly because ppl seem to have different views than the first go round. I was very curious about the “single” subject and dating. I mean Wise dates around the globe and this guy wasn’t married, just like she isn’t. This chick could have been crazy(and it sounds like it)which is why he decided to jump back in the dating pool. The broad consensus last time was dating gives you the opportunity to mingle and choose. Does that not apply now or does the 20 questions apply? Does 5 dates or 10 dates make a couple?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
11:03 am

@George P~ I am a bit confused it sounds like it is over between you and your ex-girl. The reason I say that is because if you all are giving each other space and trying to talk things over why is she seeing other guys?

I think you should get yourself together and just hang out with your friends, but let the dating simmer. What made her ask for more space after two years?

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:03 am

I guess the situation last week of getting breakfast in our cafe and this dude starting a conversation about me, leaning in my space and with whom I do things with would fall in under today’s post. Funny thing too that I noticed while talking is that that his left hand NEVER left his pocket. As he left to pay for his food and me heading to the coffee counter, I caught a quick glimsp of his wedding band when he reached to pay the cashier. I tell ya….folks just ain’t right and ain’t up to no good.

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
11:04 am

DigThat – if he decided that he wanted to jump back into the dating pool, then he should have also jumped back into the living by his-damn-self pool. LOL!

And regardless of whether chick was the actual live-in, lying, crazy and/or just a drama loving jump off, buddy has more going on than any sane chick should want to deal with.

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:06 am

In Sasha’s case…neither of them are available until they’re living like it. I think it would be a shot in the foot to date someone living with their ex. If you want to be out and about, check your living arrangements first.

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
11:07 am

left hand NEVER left his pocket.

it’s me – Dudes trip me out with that!!!

The thing is, he would not get anywhere with you, but a lot of married guys have told me that ring becomes like a magnet! So while he wouldn’t get a woman of real quality, there are plenty with loose morals that won’t mind that he’s married! Lying is unnecessary!LOL!!

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
11:08 am

If you want to be out and about, check your living arrangements first.

It’s me – Amen!

Dig That

July 6th, 2010
11:09 am

The reason I say that is because if you all are giving each other space and trying to talk things over why is she seeing other guys?

@professor- You know why.

@SexyC- LMAO!!!! You are definitely right about that. I have to agree. Maybe Wisey was gon be the jump off.

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
11:12 am

Are we still on topic? Swiss and Purple Rain..don’t say anything about the Boondocks..I missed the episode Sunday.

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:12 am

Kimmie, I’m so done with that foolishness. You’re right though…nowhere with me on that sort of stuff. What’s so silly is him talking and making jestures with one hand and the other is in your pocket sort of draws attention he was obviously trying to avoid.

LK

July 6th, 2010
11:13 am

If you believe what you read on TAGG, FACEBOOK, MYSPACE or any other dating site you are a fool. If you can’t reach him after 5 PM, on weekends, on holidays, before 8 AM and are never invited out by him, visit his living space or can be seen in the same part of town that he says he lives in you need to move on. Men are players, even married men. Women of all races need to stick together and stop this playing frame of mind. Remember in Georgia it is against the law to have an affair. Check it out!

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
11:14 am

@George P ~ BE STILL! Since you want this to work and you still love her, give her the space she needs to find out what she wants. If it’s meant to be, she’ll boomerang back to you. If not, you bowed out gracefully. Don’t get with someone to fill up your time. You’re not ready. I don’t expect you to give her space forever, so you need to ask her how much time she needs. Her answer will tell you if she really plans on coming back.

@SexyC ~ helping out Hosea Feed The Homeless was exhausting to say the least. Advice to all, never do it on an empty stomach. I almost fainted I was so hot, and taking those 750 boxes off the truck and checking them tired me. Lil leggs had the easy part of labeling the boxes and carrying them to the pallets (there were only 5 items in each box). Overall, it was a great experience (esp. after I got food and my energy back).

@it’s me…lurker ~ I just told a co-worker that same thing less than 10 mins ago. She’s acting like she’s living alone with the shennigans she pulled this weekend leaving her new boyfriend home alone the past 2 days. He’s livid and thinking of moving out!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
11:14 am

@Sasssssssssssssssssssssssy I met her at chuuch! We are not friends, but we talk on the phone here and there and we used to walk/jog together. I met her about seven years ago. She is not my cup of tea to just hang with, but we will talk from time to time. I am not the type to tell her business (it doesn’t get back to the chuuch) so I think that is why she confides in me.

@Dig That wassup did you have a good weekend?

Of course, we are going green with the topics I remember this one as well. I hope some to the fellas send in some topics…it would be interesting

SB

July 6th, 2010
11:14 am

@ George: I am going through the same situation except I do not believe in breaks. You are either in or out. It hurts and it sucks but the only thing that has to happen is to cut the contact. Completely! Me and my ex tried the opposite – to occasionally talk, text, grab a cup of coffee, trying to remain friends. It doesn’t work. I agree w SexyCool – well said! My friend told me the same thing – he will never know what he has missed, if you are still in his life. Very true.
Cut the contact – no phone calls, no texts for at least 60 days. Let her figure it out what she is missing. Take that time and enjoy your time – go workout, go out, hook up with friends, pick up a new hobby. Sitting at home and waiting for her to come back is time wasted and you will never get it back. This is my motto for the 60 days when I have to do the same.
Good luck to both of us :)

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
11:16 am

If she’s calling for “a break” & opening up to new guys, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s over, bro. Cut your losses & move on. Sorry to be so harsh, but it will save you some heartache in the long run…

George P – I agree with swiss. Your girl knows you’re a good one, but for whatever reason isn’t sure about you. So now she gets to play the field in hopes of finding someone better. If she does…then she was honest with you and won’t feel guilty. If she finds no one, she can claim she just needed a “break” and now she’s sure.

She’s keeping you just close enough…but you’re still a plan B.

The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can get over HER and find someone who’s just as geeked about being with you as you are with her.

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
11:17 am

SB – Sounds good, like your head is in the right place. I wish you and George well.

SlimCuckoo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
11:17 am

‘If you can’t reach him after 5 PM, on weekends, on holidays, before 8 AM and are never invited out by him, visit his living space or can be seen in the same part of town that he says he lives in you need to move on’

LK – that is not entirely true…the guy that I dated who’s fiance ended up calling me took my calls anytime…i visited his house on numerous ocassions…the kicker was that his fiance lived back in New Orleans.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
11:18 am

Ared, did you just say “geeked”

:lol:

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:18 am

LK…I’m agreeing with you 11:13 however, those are the obvious signs. Someone said earlier a dude had a wife for a flight attendant stationed in NYC. Cheaters and liars are getting more and more brazen and taking things further. That’s the stuff to watch for.

queen

July 6th, 2010
11:19 am

Single means not married. It is important when you meet people you ask specific questions. People try to get a good return on their investment when it comes to dating. This means they will expand prospect options to ensure they have a better chance of getting what they are seeking. Is this fair? Depends on who you ask. But most often when you go on a date with someone they are also dating other people as well. Ask them and see. The problem is most people fail to ask questions such as are you seeing other people? Do you live with someone of the opposite sex, what type of relationship do you have? etc. Not reporting to some is not necessarily lying, b/c if you ask them they will tell you what they are up too. So the bottom line is communication is very important.

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:19 am

@it’s me…lurker ~ I just told a co-worker that same thing less than 10 mins ago. She’s acting like she’s living alone with the shennigans she pulled this weekend leaving her new boyfriend home alone the past 2 days. He’s livid and thinking of moving out!

Yes ma’am Leggs…he probably knows though. Most folks have inklings or ideas or gut feelings.

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
11:19 am

PrincessNik – I sure did! :lol:

blue

July 6th, 2010
11:20 am

@what time is it – interesting point “I didn’t know we had friends that we didn’t know about”. why does being in a relationship mean to so many people that we need to know all of each others friends. friend of my hubby who has become a freind of the fam now has a new gf, shes calling my number with the whole “who are you attitude?” never mind that she met me, and the whole fam, the night b4. your man has friends, your woman has friends, doesnt always necessarily mean their cheating.

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
11:21 am

George P..sorry about the girl troubles..but I agree you are the backup plan..now if you are so inlove and don’t mind being the “plan B” then you can just wait it out and hope for the best. From your paragraph I think you know you are just hanging on and seem to be comfortable in that spot..but err like Mayor McCheese said..it can lead to heartbreak.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
11:22 am

Okay, so all those folks who are advising George P to “give it time…” Riddle me this: What what your advise be to a chick if the situation were reversed? — i.e. it’s the dude that wants a “break” and is “open” to other chicks? C’mon now… Let’s be real about the situation. It’s time to close that book & move on…

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
11:23 am

@ blue

your man has friends, your woman has friends, doesnt always necessarily mean their cheating

while this may be true, I’m always leary when “new” friends start popping up or friends that my s/o can’t bring around. This raises flags for me.

LK

July 6th, 2010
11:23 am

A cheater is a cheater and when one spouse is gone frequently due to job requirements it is easier to cheat. With the use of internet and cellphones it is that much more tempting and easy. If you know your partner and their habbits you will know when they are telling you a bold face lie, when they are telling you a story and when they are telling you the truth. Trust your instincts! Like I said if women stick together we can put a stop to this crap. We all need to develope morals and standards. There are so many women out their that for one reason or another can not manage to find a single (honestly single and available) man to connect to they will grasp at any man that looks their way, even if it is for just a short time. Women have the power to put a stop to this. We just have to come together.

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:24 am

George P I think SB (and others) have given very sound, good advice. Move yourself on physically and mentally and your emotional being will follow over time. However, if you sit it out and wait it out and waste time, you’ll still be sitting in the same emotional rut, this time next year.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
11:24 am

@its me…lurker ~ I had to laugh at what she said he did next when she came home. Awww never mind….this isn’t the blog for it….You are welcome, ARed (LOLOL)!

Cut the contact – no phone calls, no texts for at least 60 days. Let her figure it out what she is missing. Take that time and enjoy your time – go workout, go out, hook up with friends, pick up a new hobby. Sitting at home and waiting for her to come back is time wasted and you will never get it back.

Worth repeating!

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
11:25 am

LK – A friend of mine dated a guy that worked for the same company a few floors up from her floor/office. They had dated for a few months, he spent the night a few weekends and she spent 2 weekends at his house.

Come to find out his WIFE traveled alot. She wasn’t much of a decorator/housekeeper either, cause the house looked like a bachelor pad. No pictures, nothing. They slept in the “guest” bedroom, which was bigger than the master, so that didn’t tip things off.

She found out by going to take something to his house one weekend when he was out of town. She had a feeling. The wife answered the door.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
11:26 am

Swiss – I would tell the woman the same thing. Go sit down somewhere and don’t be thirsty.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
11:26 am

Leggs, you might as well tell it lol

SlimCuckoo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
11:27 am

Btw, the guy was a truck driver….and speaking of flight attendant…when I was with my ex and this chick popped up at his crib when I was there, hence him being Cold Busted…she was a flight attendant. So it made it easy for him to keep the lie going to both of us…she would mostly be in town during the week when i was at work, and I’d mostly be with him on the weekends when she was apparently flying all across the US.

blue

July 6th, 2010
11:28 am

i def agree with you on that one Princess. “new” friends that you never meet, or old ones that never come around or call when your around, something is fishy there. good rule of thumb at that point, IMO anyway, be blunt and point it out. if at that point its still all cloak and dagger, move on.
but for those who are up front and say hey, i had friends b4 i met you, come meet em, introduce SO, and then she/he still wanna call with the drama, just a bit of stepping into psycho

Professor

July 6th, 2010
11:28 am

Trust your instincts! LK, I like by trusting my instincts and not ignoring red flags

George P

July 6th, 2010
11:29 am

Thanks for the tips and feedback everyone! She says she needs the break to figure out what she wants in life. She’s doing a study abroad and it’s really opened her eyes on how she can be independent without a guy in her life. Plus, my life path is kind of in motion, so if she wants to be with me, it’d require her to compromise and find something near me or else do the distance thing for a while. She says she needs alone time (but doesn’t say how much) and it’s not about a guy, but she wants the option and has tried to encourage me to explore too (so we can be more sure about us yadda yadda). I don’t know, we’ll see I guess. I think complete space would be good.

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
11:29 am

swiss – I don’t think he should jump into another relationship cause clearly he’s not ready, but I do think he should read the handwriting on the wall when it comes to old girl. She’s playing him & he’s hoping against hope.

Dig That

July 6th, 2010
11:30 am

@Professor- Weekend was Tony Tiger GRRRRREEEEAAAATTTT!!!!!! and yours?

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
11:31 am

Blue,

I’m always careful about that one, and I always tell guys up front, that the majority of my friends are guys. So that they know from the beginning.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
11:32 am

Trevor — Okay, fair enough. Agree to disagree…. ;-) I just don’t see any way that waiting it out works out well for George. Even if ol’ girl comes back to him, she’ll never respect him. She’ll know that she can basically do whatever she wants to him & he’ll stick right there anyway… JMO

LURKS

July 6th, 2010
11:32 am

@Amazon..(My current and I are taking things slow) THATS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THE ONE, SO KEEP IT MOVING, WONDER WHY NO ONE SEEMS TO WANT TO COMIT TO YOU.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
11:34 am

“swiss – I don’t think he should jump into another relationship cause clearly he’s not ready”

kimmie — Neither do I… I’m just saying it’s time to recognize this current one is over & move on (not to another relationship immediately, just on…)… ;-)

blue

July 6th, 2010
11:34 am

ive always been the same way Princess, i call them my guy panel lol. just get along better that way. but always better IMO to be up front about it to your SO, so that later they arent screaming about whos this whos that. now if i try to intriduce you or invite you out with us/convo with us, and you decline, dont get all crazy at me later. i tried, your just being silly

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
11:35 am

Ooops… sorry for the all bold…

abc

July 6th, 2010
11:36 am

Obviously, George, she thinks she can do better. She sees other men that appeal to her more than you do. She wants to go see what it’s like to be with them.

If you can wait around and see past that, more power to you. Maybe you WILL end up being the one who pines forever for the one you lost. Everyone has that good one that got away, you know. I’ve been there, done that and gave all my tshirts to Randy, even though he already had them. This happens to everyone.

Advice? Be up-front, take the high road, never give her an opportunity to say you’re anything but a wonderful guy. That applies to not just dating, but to everything, of course.

GHANA

July 6th, 2010
11:37 am

She’s doing a study abroad and it’s really opened her eyes on how she can be independent without a guy in her life

@George P!!

a good line but a lie nonetheless!! Abroad has opened her up to dating options ..she cant tell u that in ur face ofcourse..

why wld she be openly encouraging u to date others: tried to encourage me to explore too if shes still feeling u??

She wants to to be as morally compromised as she is right now..i promise u,somebody is kicking her phat azz real good wherever she is right now and shes enjoying that wang better than urs!

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
11:37 am

@blue ~ “all cloak and dagger, move on.” WOW, I used the same words with my co-worker…told her if you have to use all that cloak and dagger to do something, then you need to end the relationship because this isn’t the one you want to be in!

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
11:37 am

George P – Your 11:29 does put a little different spin on things. If she’s abroad, looks like you’re doing a long-distance thing anyway. If you all are very young, early 20’s, I can see this being a real transitional time for the relationship. Looks like you both have a lot going on.

I don’t know. Just chill for a minute.

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:40 am

As always, great post and to the point….ABC

Bre NYC2GA

July 6th, 2010
11:42 am

Hey Diva and the old crew, breezing thru quickly.

Morals and honesty are out the window in today’s society. I assume that most men are dealing with someone on some level…only a few are really single-single…even then something is going on. People are barely honest with themselves why expect them to be honest with you.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
11:42 am

now if i try to intriduce you or invite you out with us/convo with us, and you decline, dont get all crazy at me later. i tried, your just being silly

@ Blue EXACTLY!

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
11:44 am

@GHANA ~ when I read that line about studying abroad and being independent w/o a man, I thought the same thing.

blue

July 6th, 2010
11:47 am

great minds think alike Leggs, lol

Professor

July 6th, 2010
11:49 am

@Dig That my weekend was great…I wish I was off today, but let me stop pouting. Are you still training that lady with the lingering track?

@GHANA I am not going to say she is doing the wild thing, but it sounds like she may have a few serious options available.

@Swiss that relationship is over like a pinto with a busted engine and a missing transmission. It is time for him to close that chapter and move on. Move on, by hanging with friends and family and chilling out. However I don’t want him at Compound giving me his number, he can move on by sitting on the bench for a minute. He need to let the :cry: before he enters the dating arena.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
11:49 am

@Leggs..a playa,whether male or female will give out a plausible line/excuse…..

same here with George..girl has him on her finger, spinning him in a cycle of deception.

Oh by the way.. Im Melo…Ghana expired last week! :lol: :lol:

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
11:51 am

Knowing what I know now, if I were young and over in Europe somewhere soaking up all that culture and scenery and hanging out at little cafe’s & bistro’s and boats & stuff, I might want to be unencumbered too. It hurts the other person, but that’s youth for ya. I remember being in George’s position – my bf went to Italy. It hurt, but looking back now I see.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
11:51 am

Ghana expired last week…is that not you at 11:37 this morning?

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
11:52 am

Swiss, I see what you are saying. Its cool. He does need to move on and charge her to the game.
:)

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
11:52 am

@PrincessNik ~ I’ll tell you after 12.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
11:53 am

Oh by the way.. Im Melo…Ghana expired last week!

Sir, why did you post under Ghana today? :wink:

@ARed did you make it out of the house Friday?

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:55 am

Brutal honesty…that 11:37….an eye opener hopefully for George P…I agree

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
11:56 am

Ghana’s 11:37

blue

July 6th, 2010
11:56 am

side note i guess, when men say they have more female friends than male, they just get along better,its the way theyve always been, whatever..why do so many of them trip out when the opposite is true also, their woman has more male friends than female, etc etc…

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
11:56 am

Melo — Maybe we old playa’s should help out with a little Playa Translation. Here, I’ll start…

Example:

“She’s doing a study abroad and it’s really opened her eyes on how she can be independent without a guy in her life”

Translated:

“She’s doing a study abroad and it’s really got her imagining all the international dyzzle she could have up in her — without guilt — without a man in her life.”

:lol:

George P

July 6th, 2010
12:00 pm

First off, she’s not the type to fool around past 2nd base within a month. Second, we are young and I left for grad school while she’s finishing up. That said, I do feel like a plan B, although I can see the argument oh how can you be sure how good something is, unless you know what’s out there. This is by far the most serious relationship for either of us. Maybe she’ll see that plan B is better than other options, maybe she won’t. This break has reaffirmed and made me more confident that I want her, but maybe she will just be that first true love and life will move on.

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
12:03 pm

@George P..its rare..but err.. I agree with Melo..she is going to Europe and hoping to me Count Marist of the Royal House of Gallions or she is so hoping to see if what they say about the romance of Europe is true..either way you should bow out.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
12:03 pm

“side note i guess, when men say they have more female friends than male, they just get along better,its the way theyve always been, whatever..why do so many of them trip out when the opposite is true also, their woman has more male friends than female, etc etc…”

blue — Um… because they know firsthand that line is total BS:lol: No (straight) guy has more girl friends than guy friends because “they just get along better.” They have all those chick friends just in case… Those are the “One of These Days She’s Gonna Be Upset And Possibly Tipsy And If I’m In the Right Place At the Right Time I Just Might Get To Tap That” friends… :lol:

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
12:04 pm

BTW for those of you who were on the board Friday, esp. you it’s me…lurker, I met up with Jacobite47 after work and had a drink. He’s a friendly man who loves to flirt and enjoy life. It was good talking with him, as well as meeting him. He has an active social life from what he told me. However, he was honest to say he’s looking to be married within a year. He loved being married. He labeled himself a divorced widower. No, didn’t ask how long he’s been a widower, but know he was happily married for 30 years. He has sparkly, lively blue eyes. Nice man!

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
12:06 pm

First off, she’s not the type to fool around past 2nd base within a month. <<< George you should rephase this.. First off, she's not the type to fool around past 2md base within a month "with me."

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
12:07 pm

Well, alrighty then, Leggs… Is there something more you want to tell us? ;-) :lol:

blue

July 6th, 2010
12:07 pm

Swiss LMAO. so men are not to be believed in this situation, do folks have the same view of women who make more male friends than female?

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
12:07 pm

swiss – Your 11:56 – funny, sad & true. I’ve been there, the shoe was on the other foot. Very few “young” relationships can survive one going off to grad school in another state or going off abroad. Even if they stay together, somebody is going to be at least “tempted”.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
12:08 pm

George P, I knew you guys were both young. Ghana Melo pointed that out as well. I just wish you both the best, and I hope you take a break from the dating scene all together. Now I would cut her off, but I would respond to an email after a week or two. Just a simple “things are fine on my end…thanks for checking in ttyl type deal.” Personally I would not ignore someone I love and have been with for two years for 60-days, but I would ignore that azz for a week or two, but you know the time period that works for you. How much time do you need away? You should not run to answer every call and email like you are sitting around eating bon-bons with nothing to do. Get busy, get a life, get with some friends and go from there.

Now, please consider your source when using dating advice on this blog. Most or 30-something singles never been married, and always been played so you really don’t want to be so brutal with old girl. Young love first love has to be handled differently. So pull back, and back out but make sure you guard your heart and not be a fool.

Good luck!

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
12:08 pm

First off, she’s not the type to fool around past 2nd base within a month.<<Rephase this..First off, she’s not the type to fool around past 2nd base within a month "with me."

Lucinda

July 6th, 2010
12:09 pm

@George P I’m sure you know that sappy old expression about letting a butterfly go free. If its yours, it will return. Enjoy your time and space, let her do the same. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

@Leggs u gutsy!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
12:09 pm

Leggs will you two meet again as in a second date?

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
12:10 pm

Wow Leggs, told ya, he’s bringing it hard. So he wants to marry eh? Well, he’s what about 10 years or so older….not on the horizon for you? What’s a divorced widower? Blue eyes? Contacts I gathered….I kid I kid. Are you dating outside the race?

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
12:11 pm

@Leggs u gutsy!

you sho is

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
12:12 pm

Alright….we have another client luncheon/meeting. This time they asked if they could come onsite. I’m think I’m going to look to transfer….maybe. All this luncheoning and hob knobbing just ain’t me.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
12:12 pm

alright LEGGS spill it :lol:

Lucinda

July 6th, 2010
12:12 pm

…and my Friday update, it is definitely “on” with the new Mr Man. :)

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
12:12 pm

Leggs, that’s nice to hear. Glad you had a nice time.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
12:14 pm

@Leggs?Proff!!

Ghana expired but there were techno difficulties this morning!
@Swiss..im with u..lets gang on this young playa and school him
George P??
This is by far the most serious relationship for either of us

do u even realize how u are speaking for ur girl…this is the most serious relationship for either of u..who says??

what u are saying is not uncommon..it is a phenomena prevalent in pple who are victims..trying to cover up for the person who inflicts the blows..psychologically,this lessens the blow to ur psyche but masks the reality. Its over.

all u need to understand is this..chic does not want to be with u anymore..she is already independent there abroad and u being here..what more independence wld she need??

the thing she is articulating is what makes u confused…she not comfortable with phluccking other dudes and lying to u as if u are still tgether..no wonder she gives u the latitude to explore and see other pple. Its like a dude not calling a girl to break up the relationship and only calling every so often..same difference. It means dude aint interested coz if he were,he wld show more care and concern by calling and talking every day,twice or thrice.

Move on coz the writing is on the wall..If chic wanted u,she wld not be advocating for a break…

Is it me who is confused..??

Break means we are in luv??? :roll: :roll:

mark

July 6th, 2010
12:15 pm

@ Leggs i would love to try and make you smile! please drop me an e-mail and lets see what happens :)
@ Professor it was not a swiss woman that i would not date. i said i only date sistas and am not willing to change on that!

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
12:16 pm

Ut oh Leggs, you got it going on…now Mark wants to hook up. I think he’s younger. Do it girl!

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
12:16 pm

Young love first love has to be handled differently. So pull back, and back out but make sure you guard your heart and not be a fool.

I agree!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
12:17 pm

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
12:18 pm

Professor

July 6th, 2010
12:22 pm

@PK I know, but it made me so sad…I want to know more about it from all viewpoints.

:shock:
:cry:

blue

July 6th, 2010
12:25 pm

how do y’all do the emoticons from work, guess im waay behind the times there.
anyway, Professor, OMG,i feel so sad for her, but in her own way, she was showing how much she loved them.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
12:26 pm

@Lucinda..

did he say”im luuuubing u, i think”" oh he hasnt said so yet but u did??

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
12:38 pm

@swiss ~ nothing else to tell, he could have been your father! :wink: Very nice man. He did state he would like to see me again.

@it’s me….lurker ~ girl, you are funny. Love reading you.

@mark ~ I need your address in order to drop you an email????

@blue ~ i’m swiss has the cheat sheet on the emoticons!

@Lucinda ~ gutsy….hmmm just a little!

@Prof ~ how you doing?

blue

July 6th, 2010
12:39 pm

always wonder if these older folk are just cut from a different cloth. the article says she and her husband were married 60 years. im going on 11 and want to bash him, lol. how do they do it!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
12:43 pm

@blue I feel the same way. Swiss posted a cheat sheet on them with a link. She was just showing her love and the funny thing is she was married 60 years and her twin died…what a bond.

@Leggs I am good, and you? Now remember Poppa Swiss might not be inclined to date you if you do a replay on the blog. You know how men are? :wink:

@Mark blame it on the goose coffee I thought you would not date a sister that dated a swiss or something to that point.

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
12:44 pm

HiYas!

how is every lil thing on MIA?? hmmmm … on topic: i’ve asked s/o for a ‘break’. i was told those are strictly forbidden :lol:

blue, how do they do it?. they tell themselves daily that there is no better other option. something i just don’t think we do anymore.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
12:47 pm

@Prof ~ Yes, I know that. But that’s all that went down. We met for a drink and talked a little and I was back in my car driving down the road talking on the phone with another friend. I like him, he’s very confident in himself. That’s a good thing to show me.

@czB ~ don’t let me come over there and beat your behind. :lol: :lo: even though I know you’re kidding!

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
12:50 pm

“…nothing else to tell, he could have been your father!”

Leggs — Hmm… My dad is a widower… Now wouldn’t that be some blog gossip, if you became my step-mom… ;-) :lol:

blueHere’s your emoticon cheat sheet

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
12:51 pm

Not like him, like him (don’t know him)….I like him in that he’s a cool, confident person. That’s nice to see.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
12:52 pm

@i’m swiss ~ that would be hysterical!

blue

July 6th, 2010
12:53 pm

thanx swiss!

Melo

July 6th, 2010
12:54 pm

make sure you guard your heart and not be a fool.

@Proff??

In dating,esp for guys, its always better being a smart jerk than being a dump shyytt!

Females dont give dump shyyt guys no play nor second chance…

smart jerks…..?? as LURKER wld say:

YEAAAAAAAH!!!

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
12:56 pm

Mama Leggs — Just remember: My family has always believed in discipline, and we kids are never to old to spank:lol:

Melo

July 6th, 2010
12:57 pm

rather..dumb shyytt!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
12:57 pm

Melo, gotcha

BTW, where is MR LURKER? Did y’all kick him off while I was out on Friday?

blue

July 6th, 2010
1:02 pm

time for the finding of food, lets c what you guys are onto by the time i get back lol

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
1:03 pm

@Swiss..why are you not talking about your former UGA athletic director or did I miss that convo on last week. The Dawg nation is just not having a good news year at all.

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
1:06 pm

Now trying out swiss’s blog cheat sheet..if this comes out something pornographic..blame MacCheesy

:evil:
:twisted:
:?:
:razz:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:07 pm

@ professor

I swear i’m going to pass out sleep and hit my head on the desk :shock: Long weekends will ruin you.

2 hours 24 minutes to go………………

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
1:07 pm

Kym — I fully support Damon… Drunk, in a car, w/ some strange chick’s red panties in my lap is pretty much how I spent every game day…. ;-) :lol:

undecided

July 6th, 2010
1:09 pm

If you are still legally married but separated (claiming never going back), can you call yourself single? She told me shi is…I said no.

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
1:13 pm

@Swiss you know you are soooo not right LMAO…

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:18 pm

If you are still legally married but separated (claiming never going back), can you call yourself single?

I am and I don’t.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:19 pm

@PK at least you can start the countdown. I have not been to lunch yet.

Long weekends will ruin you for real…I think I am going to take a nap at lunch.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
1:20 pm

Kym — On a serious note, though, re: UGA athlete arrests… Here’s a perfect example of why you see so many… UGA campus cops are some little power-hungry attention wh0res who just love any chance to get their names in the paper.

BpBB27

July 6th, 2010
1:21 pm

SexyC hit the nail on the head.

Personally, anyone that is still “Living” with someone that they were once involved with should not be trying to date anyone!!! Get your life together before you step to someone that is honestly seeking to date. I am a singly-Single young lady and a gentleman that has a pause between his words when I ask important questions will get dismissed. Body language and eye to eye contact always speaks for itself.

I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend!! :o )

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:21 pm

I want a turkey pastrami (shaved) sammich with a side of potato salad and a bread & butter pickle. Anybody out there willing to grab lunch for me? :smile:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:22 pm

Professor,

due to our summer schedule I only have a 30 min lunch, If we were on our reg schedule I most certainly woulda been asleep LOL but trust being here at 6:30 is draining on a regular work week~No holidays.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:23 pm

Professor and PK,

:twisted:
:roll:

That’s all I have to say.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:24 pm

Trevor

awww, don’t be that way love :)

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:25 pm

@PK I feel you I am not a morning person at all. Don’t get me wrong I wake up early and get a lot done in the morning I just don’t like talking or having folks bothering me :evil:

Well let me go find some lernch, since nobody wants to bring me a pastrami sam’mich :sad: :cry:

Misty

July 6th, 2010
1:26 pm

My now “ex-boyfriend” told me he was single when we first met. I found out later in the relationship he had another girlfriend the whole time we were together. If I knew he was involved with someone else, I never would’ve started dating him at all as I was completely single and thought he was the same.It doesn’t matter how you ask the question if they are single or not because if the guy is gonna lie, he’s still gonna lie to you regardless.

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
1:26 pm

The “Itis” is kicking in now…need a pick me up…that’s what I get for going to bed late after a long weekend. :yawn:

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:26 pm

Yall talking being sleepy and wanting a nap. Don’t send that lazy bug over this way.

:lol:

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:27 pm

Awwwwwwwww Trevor you know you feel bad for us! If you could you would have given us one of your vacation days to use so we would not be so sad. :wink:

George P

July 6th, 2010
1:28 pm

We’ve been at only talking about twice a week for probably 3 weeks now, but I’m wondering if I should just cut her off. She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then? I’ve got a life and have been staying active, just wondering if I should throw in drinks with a lady into the mix of what to do on a Friday night. If she’s casually hanging out with guys, I don’t see why I shouldn’t either. Doesn’t mean it has to go anywhere, but sometimes it’s fun to meet new candidates.
I agree Melo, if she says I should go explore too, it seems like she doesn’t care if I leave. It sucks and she says she just needs alone time, but it feels like if I’m out of the picture, that’s fine by her. I wish she’d just have the guts to tell it to me straight, if that’s how she felt. But then again, if she’s just confused herself, what should she do?
You guys all rock, next time I’m in A town, first round is on me

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
1:28 pm

believe it or not, if asked, i would still say i’m single (simply because i’m not married). but i’d never deny being in a relationship. s/o feels the answer to the “are you single” question should be “no”.
:?:

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
1:29 pm

abc – I like the 11:36.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:30 pm

Don’t get me wrong I wake up early and get a lot done in the morning I just don’t like talking or having folks bothering me

@ professor ME TOO! I hate that before I can even unlock my office door they guys will be calling my name and asking questions, on our regular schedule it isn’t as bad because half the guys are already gone in the field when i get here, but now they all clocking in at the same time driving me insane. Somedays i just wanna scream HURSH!!!

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
1:32 pm

@ARed did you make it out of the house Friday?

Professor – Sure didn’t. :lol:

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
1:32 pm

LOL @ Slim. i didn’t shut down til 2am. knowing damn well i’d be struggling to get through the work day. all i kept thinking was ‘if i’d joined the air force when i was supposed to, i’d be retired now!!!” :mad:

Misty

July 6th, 2010
1:33 pm

Trevor0529: There are many people who pull this one: saying they are single,but still legally married. Let me just clarify this for everyone out there: If your divorce isn’t final; You are still considered married! I dont’ care if you hate the person, moved out of state, or whatever; You are still Legally married so stop telling everyone you’re single. Here’s another one; stop telling people your’e separated from your spouse if you have not filled out the proper documents to get a legal separation;jut because you left and moved out, doesn’t mean your are divorced; Hello?? Guess what; you are still considered married! Getting out of a marriage is a little different from just breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Tiffani Day

July 6th, 2010
1:34 pm

Well… Speaking for myself, I have found it hard to be honest about a relationship when I am not happy. And because I don’t really KNOW you at the time, it really isn’t your business because I don’t owe you the truth. There are signs that the person you met has someone SOMEwhere. But you have to pay attention. When you are actively dating, these are the chances you take. I completely ignore the OTHER woman when these things happen. UNLESS OF COURSE, if the guy was a lame and I gave in after repeated attempts for my attention, then I am out for revenge just because. I have called girls numbers in my man’s phone before… and the times I didn’t call were when I didn’t want another woman to know she had the ups on me.. So it wasn’t a maturity thing at all. But these men here are what I call “Georgia Single”.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:36 pm

Getting out of a marriage is a little different from just breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend

^^^^

I think this is why more people are opting for the “living together” experience than Marriage. You can’t just up and leave when ya’ll have papers on each other, the legally binding contract has to be dissolved.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:37 pm

“Georgia Single”.

:shock:

Tiffani, please define :lol:

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
1:38 pm

@My Step-Son (im swiss) ~ you too big to spank! But then again, if I do spank you, the authorities will not be called for child cruelty! Hmmmmm……

@undecided ~ still married…

@Prof ~ if you have a Jason’s Deli around you, they’ll deliver if you can get a few others to order something too.

She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then?

@GeorgeP ~ am I missing something. She comes back in a month and says she needs space. Yes, darling, leave her alone. Whatever you do, don’t let her see you sweat her! She won’t like it!!!! And women tend to pay attention to men when they turn the other cheek and ignore them or when they see him with another woman. Then, our curiousity is piqued again. Not all, but for many!

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:38 pm

Awwwwwwwww Trevor you know you feel bad for us! No I don’t :razz: If you could you would have given us one of your vacation days to use so we would not be so sad I have two weeks of vacation still to take and ya ain’t gettin’ none! :razz:

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:41 pm

@Swiss??

Is the guy who got arrested in a newly minted witness protection program??

what the heck is going on with his middle name and confusion??

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
1:42 pm

Just had to go and get a latte to get me over the hump.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
1:42 pm

@George P ~ but let me ask this, if she omes back in a month how do you cut her off until then. What are you guys doing, having sex via webcam? What are you cutting her off from??

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:42 pm

We’ve been at only talking about twice a week for probably 3 weeks now, but I’m wondering if I should just cut her off.

Probably so.

She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then? YES!!

That is crap she is feeding you. Damn!! Now I agree with Melo and Swiss on this one.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:43 pm

She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then?

@ George, sounds quite possibly like she met someone while she was abroad and now she is confused.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:46 pm

women tend to pay attention when they see him with another woman

:wink: :wink: :wink: to all the single ladies in MIA as I show off my left ring finger/hand with wedding band! :lol: :lol:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:47 pm

Sexy C

I sure wouldn’t mind a caramel cappuccino right about now. but since i only have 1 hour 13 minutes before i go back out in the heat and head to the gym I’ll pass :(

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
1:48 pm

@Melo ~ not a new dude, their old dude!!! Big difference! :wink:

What time is it?

July 6th, 2010
1:50 pm

@ Tiffani Day

What is Georgia Single?

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:54 pm

not a new dude, their old dude!!! Big difference

@Leggs??

:???:

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
1:55 pm

PK – I really didn’t need this. But, I am calorie light today and after the P’tree Sunday, working out with TheDude on my softball skills yesterday and running three miles this morning, I needed a pick me up AND a treat. LOL!

What are you working on at the gym today?

Right now, I am *straight* cardio and will be for this entire month.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:55 pm

she met someone while she was abroad and now she is confused.

@PrincessNik??

I agree..good dyckk confuses alotta ladies! :lol: :lol: :lol:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:57 pm

Sexy C, I am straight cardio also right now. I’m going to reintroduce some of the turbo jam workouts into my routine though, they are fun and hard at the same time but they work the entire body.

George P

July 6th, 2010
1:58 pm

Alright, I hear you. I’ve to this point let her reach me and made a point not to be the one to start the convo, but i think you’re right I should not even let her check up on me until she’s serious. Just sucks and I don’t want to push her away, but at the same time don’t want to be played a fool.
And when she’s in the states, I did put in the effort to see her about once a month. My fam is still in GA so it’s been do-able. We’ll see!

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:58 pm

I agree..good dyckk confuses alotta ladies

melo, that is what is refered to as dyckmatized ;)

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
1:59 pm

@PK, Trevor said NO on the vacay days :cry: I thought Trevor was cool with us

@George P, Baby boy igg her for two weeks and do a brief check in. You will know what is going on when she gets back (a) she will be thirsty and hand you the honey pot in the airport parking deck or (b) you will hear that she is back in town from the gossip committee.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:00 pm

Professor, I see Trevor doesn’t want to share but its okay

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:05 pm

George P, you know your girl and you know your relationship. Customize this ish we been telling you and handle your business. Now you seem like a smart young man, I know you will make the right decision even if it makes a fool out of you the first go-round. You will get it together. Like I said the game is different the first time around, plus men love harder.

Chill, ok? :wink:

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
2:06 pm

Just sucks and I don’t want to push her away, but at the same time don’t want to be played a fool.

George P – You can’t push her away. She’s already elected to leave.

You can remind her that she had a good thing by being with you. Don’t be a doormat though. Once she realizes what she’s lost, she’ll make the moves to get back in your good graces again.

Unless she finds someone else, which means, you were better off moving on anyway! :lol:

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:09 pm

Waving @ ALL my fellow blog peeps!!!!! How is everyone????!!!!!!???? :)

Shout Out @ Professor! ;)

WOW trying to catch up……lol

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
2:11 pm

I don’t mind sharing…..just not my vacation days. brotha gots to chillax some time this year
;)

Lucinda

July 6th, 2010
2:11 pm

@ Melo 12:26 He did. I knew it. I did. He knew it.
Poetry!

@ Prof aka Dirty *plus men love harder*
Got that right.

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:11 pm

hmmmmmmmm lol

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:12 pm

plus men love harder

really?

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:13 pm

++++wassup Lady+++++

Breaking News
Here is an update. Ms. Leggs had a drink with the blogger from Friday I just call him Poppa Swiss.

Other headlines….George P is confused on whether to stay or go with ex-girl…she has left the relationship so he is the only lingering party. This is a young love situation so you know how that goes.

PK and I are tired, but Trevor does not feel sorry for us. We are tired from the long weekend.

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:14 pm

@PK,

Yes, really they do?

Melo

July 6th, 2010
2:15 pm

Poetry!

@Lucinda…good for u congrats.

and besides,its good that brotherman is playing poetry on u coz of his skills u alluded to.

seems like a win win to me!

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
2:16 pm

Melo – You 1:46 – So you have a ring but Queen doesn’t?

blue

July 6th, 2010
2:17 pm

George – seems to me that she has already made her decision, she just doesnt want to be the one to say the actually words. noone likes to be the bad guy when the storys being retold. id say, save yourself some time and accept it for what it is.

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:17 pm

LMBAO Thanks Professor I needed that! lol!

Melo

July 6th, 2010
2:19 pm

So you have a ring but Queen doesn’t?

@Kimmie

1.46 was jes some blog tomfoolery

Lucinda

July 6th, 2010
2:19 pm

@Melo Thanks.

Smart + considerate + funny + interesting = dating potential
Smart + considerate + funny + interesting + MAD SKILLZ = a keeper! Whew!

now taking a break to cool off…

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

July 6th, 2010
2:20 pm

(a) she will be thirsty and hand you the honey pot in the airport parking deck or (b) you will hear that she is back in town from the gossip committee.

And it really is just that simple….we must remember a person will reveal their true selves..some choose to see it for what it is and some stick their heads in the sand..tsk..tsk

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:22 pm

Thanks Sasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy he is making this too complicated, but I do understand.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
2:24 pm

Melo — Not sure what was up w/ the middle name, but apparently the dude gave up the first & last & the whole thing was over some fireworks being shot of on the 4th of July… So, do you really have to arrest the dude for obstruction? I’m just sayin’… :lol:

Prof — “Poppa Swiss”… Dangit, Prof you’re gonna make me sprout wood here in the office… That’s what Mrs Swiss calls me when she’s riding The Matterhorn. And also when I’m lycking on her Swiss Chocolate Covered Cherry…. :lol: Dang, that woman has some strong thighs… my neck hurts today… :lol:

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:26 pm

@ swiss…LOL I’m sorrrrrrrry. I will give him a new name, but Poppa Swiss is sexy :wink:

Lucinda

July 6th, 2010
2:27 pm

@swiss ’splain that to the chiropractor

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
2:27 pm

That’s what Mrs Swiss calls me when she’s riding The Matterhorn. And also when I’m lycking on her Swiss Chocolate Covered Cherry…. Dang, that woman has some strong thighs… my neck hurts today…

Now Swiss deserves a vacation day!!
:lol:

abc

July 6th, 2010
2:27 pm

George, let me tell you something about chicks: there is no such thing as a girl that won’t take a tumble from jump. You can forget about that ‘not the type to go beyond 2nd base in a month’ line. ALL women — and especially young girls — are susceptible, and I mean all.

But that’s what I’m saying: if you can hang and see past all that, hat’s off to you. I couldn’t. And also, we’ve all been there. We didn’t think they’d hit it with some other guy either. They all did, they all can, they all will. If you think it’s possible, it’s already happened. If you don’t think it’s possible, sorry ’bout that, but it’s probably already happened.

Not to be too gruff about it, but hey, you should be aware. When they tell you they want to go try out someone new, believe them.

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:28 pm

swiss hot mess! I hope you wife is doing well!!!

hey leggs how are you!?!

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:28 pm

Trevor how come Swiss deserves a vacation day ?!?!?

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:28 pm

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:29 pm

PK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

July 6th, 2010
2:29 pm

he is making this too complicated

Yep Professoooooooor shole iah….he doesn’t want to let go.

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIII EEEEEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIII will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuu

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:29 pm

Poppa Swiss

reminds me of Poppa Smurf

:lol: :lol:

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:29 pm

@Trevor for all you know PK and I could have been in the 9:15 (thanks sassy for giving us the name) allllllllllllllllllllll weekend longggggggggggggg. So don’t count us out, because we don’t broadcast. :wink:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:30 pm

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:30 pm

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIII EEEEEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIII will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuu

LOL :grin:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:30 pm

Professor

my thoughts exactly :green:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:30 pm

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
2:30 pm

Leggs – How do you know he’s not reading this?

Lucinda

July 6th, 2010
2:32 pm

out now, all. happy rest of the day.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
2:34 pm

Hey there, Lady J — Mrs. Swiss is doing much better, thanks. She’s still a little tender “down there” but she’s well enough for her morning & evening oral examinations… ;-) :lol: And I can attest first hand that her thighs are back at full strength… :lol:

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
2:36 pm

Melo – LOL!! Just checking! You know I wasn’t gonna let that go!

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:38 pm

awwwww swiss~ she has a great husdand The Swiss Family Rocks! Continue to shine!

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
2:42 pm

Guys/Fellas/Lads – exactly how tiring or drained do you feel after you let one go? Does it take most of your energy?

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
2:43 pm

I know you ladies were probably making do what it do all weekend long and ladies don’t kiss and tell. But Swiss has a crick in his neck from making do what it do with the Mrs and that deserves a vacation day.

I could be swayed if the both of you said something like “I can’t move today because my back got blown out over the weekend.” But ladies don’t kiss and tell.
:)

East Point's Own

July 6th, 2010
2:45 pm

From reading some earlier responses I saw that some folks feel like they don’t have to be upfront with info regarding their situation when they meet someone, or that a new person has to basically earn the right to know the truth. If that’s your attitude then do you expect the new people you meet to be open with you, or are the first few weeks/months of dating open season on not telling the whole truth to each other? At what point do you decide its time to be completely truthful? Do you really think that a person who is on the level can’t sense that you are hiding something?

http://hispointofview.com

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:49 pm

“I can’t move today because my back got blown out over the weekend.”

But Trevor, what if we were the one putting it down and dude is at home still sound asleep. ;)

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
2:50 pm

@ARed ~ and if he is, I’ve said only nice things about him.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
2:50 pm

“…what if we were the one putting it down and dude is at home still sound asleep.”

In that case, you deserve a toast, young lady… Dranks on me! (Until your dude wakes up, that is…) :lol:

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
2:51 pm

‘But Trevor, what if we were the one putting it down and dude is at home still sound asleep’

PrincessNik – :lol: That’s the ticket!

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
2:53 pm

Slim Coco – It’s extremely tiring for me, that’s why it’s been no trouble for me in the past to wait awhile before I get back out there.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
2:54 pm

PK, tell him again. Re-post that 2:49 and dock him four vacation days too :wink:

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:54 pm

swiss thx for the cheat sheet! :) late i know lol

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:55 pm

dock him four vacation days too

@ professor

2 for you and 2 for me ;)

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
2:55 pm

PK, if you were the one putting it down and dude is still snoring….if the performance was Heisman Trophy worthy….I probably would consider that worth a vacation day.
;)

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
2:55 pm

Hello, Lady-Resilient! You still walking the mountain?

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:59 pm

my subdivision but can walk the mountain fri or sat morning or both days………

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
3:01 pm

yall ever had so much to say about a topic then nothing comes out each time you try to convey it……lol…….its something about this topic that leaves me smdh……lmbao!

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
3:01 pm

Just for that little tirade, Prof, you gets nann vacation day!!

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
3:05 pm

alrighty good people off to start my 3rd class this evening! Time is going fast isn’t it! lol

Peace to all my good blog peeps that rock! ;)

Melo

July 6th, 2010
3:07 pm

what if we were the one putting it down and dude is at home still sound asleep’

@Princessnik??

u might have to sign dude up at he gymn..

u surely dont want a dude thats hooooowf…hooooowf …hooooowf..blowing up his lungs and chest after only 3 strokes! when u jest starting to say:” go daddy..go daddy… go daddy! daddy go!”

:lol: :lol: :lol: thats when :happy: is quickly transformed and ur like :roll: :roll: at that non performance!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
3:12 pm

@Slim, most of the time I like sitting on the bench and gathering my energy back. I’ve had relationships that left me depleted because we let the relationship linger even after it was long over. I guess it is tiring for me as well in a sense.

YESSHEISCUTE

July 6th, 2010
3:12 pm

Wow you guys are going in on George P! But I have to say I been on the giving end of that stick before and everyone is pretty much right. I didn’t mean to be shady but a lot of people try to do the less hurtful thing but in the end it would have been more honorable to go for the gusto! Sorry that you are going through this but if you don’t get out now you will have kicked yourself for following behind her like a sad little puppy dog (trust me I’ve been on the receiving end of this stick plenty of times). You live and you learn. Life is too short babe.

blue

July 6th, 2010
3:15 pm

thunk of it this way, theres probably someone better for you waiting in the wings, holding on to this girl may just be holidng up destiny. give her what she wants, let her go, and find whats best for you.

George P

July 6th, 2010
3:18 pm

Thank YESHEISCUTE. I’m taking everything with a grain of salt, cause apparently I’m the only one who knows of people who took breaks and came out in the end. Like I said, I know married couples who did it, one even has twins now! That said, I’ve heard some good advice and will put it into effect

Melo

July 6th, 2010
3:21 pm

George P??

u read the bible?? ‘re u a dedicated church guy??

blue

July 6th, 2010
3:28 pm

George – this was probably covered earlier and i just missed it, but did she tell about the “break” before she went abroad or after she was already gone?

abc

July 6th, 2010
3:30 pm

I’m not saying that you can’t take a break and then succesfully resume. I’m saying that trying out the field is trying out the field. No matter what they might say. Guaranteed a chick will not confess things like that. Working out a ‘break’ is a way of getting permission without burning down the bridge.

But hey, you do what you think is right! Suit thy self.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
3:31 pm

Prof — Okay, it’s official. I’m a dirty, dirty boy. ‘Cos I took Slim’s question to mean something entirely different:lol:

My answer would have been: ’bout 15-20 mins, now that I’m in my 30’s:lol:

George P

July 6th, 2010
3:31 pm

I’ve been known to have picked up the good book from time to time. More of an Easter, X-mas kinda guy right now. Why?

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
3:33 pm

George – I know of people who have taken breaks in relationships, but it was usually because there was something that happened or some issue that needed to be addressed. These were instances where the relationships were in jeopardy and the parties needed to step back to gain fresh perspectives.

Initially, you didn’t give enough information about your situation to make it seem that way. And really, it just sounds like your girl may be curious about what else is out there – which is a horse of a different color.

So, yes, most of us know of relationships where couples went through some really bad patches and eventually made it through stronger and better.

Again, I go back to my well wishes and hope that everything turns out to your good.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
3:34 pm

Where’s my step-mom? I think I might need a spankin’:lol:

Professor

July 6th, 2010
3:34 pm

George how old are you? How old is your ex old lady? Just curious.

George P

July 6th, 2010
3:36 pm

She called the break while over there. Made me change my summer vaca plans.

Right now I’m pretty sure she hasn’t played the field or anything, and I told her I don’t know if I could take her back if she hooked up with someone (because it would make the break about that instead of finding herself). I still think I know her and who she is, she’s just gotten distant, but I know her personality and she’s pretty honest. If I ask a direct question, she won’t lie (same works vice versa).

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
3:36 pm

George ~ you have gotten a lot of good advice today on the blog. I wish you success and happiness from this day forth. Be true to yourself. Peace!!

George P

July 6th, 2010
3:37 pm

24 and almost 21 (was going to visit for her birthday in July)

Melo

July 6th, 2010
3:39 pm

Why?

GeorgeP??

coz personally, I wld rather a church guy get their advice from the pastor or the youth folks.

My advice is more of street and debauchery type…what u need to survive on the streets, while also getting urs(cootie) and eating licking it!

U sound like my type of guy..now quit showing ur girl ur true pining for her colors coz thats a recipe for lameness and much angst.

U dont want her to come back to u after the european guys have beaten her puddsy down to size, do u??

I iknew it! :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
3:40 pm

Ya’ll (some) would have been so proud of my at our client luncheon. We just met with the CFO and wouldn’t you know it, sheen see nobody in the room but me. All the hulabaloo and slides didn’t do it for her. She pointed to me and asked me for EVERYTHING thing presented. She made mentioned of the fact that prior to this meeting i’ve been in conversation with her folks and proactive in bringing them up to speed. She also said she has until November before the next board meeting and will decide if we’re all ago for her….being that no decisions will be made until we (being me, her controller and her) schedule dinner and see how it goes from there. I tell ya, I’ve gotten plenty of kudos cause a lot of folks don’t know how to leave the books and pens and paper and through that “natural” spin on things to win folks over. The group was shocked…like I said not because I don’t do fairly well but because she was focused solely on me. Then afterwards she pulled me aside and said more than anything she’s always worked with whites and was happy to see to deal professional blacks. Woo Hoo….she was appointed to run NASA by the Bush Administration and a whole bunch of other stuff

Professor

July 6th, 2010
3:44 pm

Ohhhhh My, Melo is back.

George now is the time to click on that red X and exit the blog.

blue

July 6th, 2010
3:45 pm

for me, when she called the break is important. if she had done it while still home and in planning the trip “some time to be independant” ok its just a break and we can joke about/learn from it later. but going over there, then calling the break in long distance, that sounds to me more either a) found something over there she wants to get into, or b)was too chicken to tell you this was how she felt face to face. this way she doesnt have to see your hurt feelings or angst
as far as relationships that took a break and survived, i have seen a few, but those were ones where, as SexyCool mentioned, something specific needed to be addressed. and in those cases usually both parties agreed the break was for the best, not one making the request and the other is being forced into it.

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
3:47 pm

Fist bump, it’s me! That’s what’s up!

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
3:48 pm

Off topic – the trooper that pulled Damon Evans over must’ve been a Tech grad. LOL!

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
3:49 pm

‘Okay, it’s official. I’m a dirty, dirty boy. ‘Cos I took Slim’s question to mean something entirely different…’

i’m swiss – you answered the right question. I just read then re-read Professors answer because I wasn’t sure she answered the question I was asking….I thought maybe her word of “relationship” was code for body bumpin. :lol: I asked because someone I know once said I ‘drain them’. LOLOL!

In regards to “taking a break” especially due to certain issues, if the actual issue isnt addressed, once you all come back together and get passed the initial Reboxed, Regifted, Faux-Rejuvenated Sex phase wears off, the issues will still be there after the smoke clears.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
3:51 pm

@lurker what tribe is she in the black hand side or white hand side????

George P

July 6th, 2010
3:52 pm

Haha, it’s alright, I can tune out pretty easily.

To be clear, we’ve been doing distance for about a year, so we’ve survived this long. She just has learned how to live for herself without having a guy around or influencing her life and says she just wants to keep seeing what it’s like. It’s not like I’m a demanding ahole, but she’s felt clingy and reliant on me. We’ll see, and I’ll make sure to revisit with the outcome and maybe updates

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
3:57 pm

Everyone have a great evening. Me and my vacation days are going home.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
3:59 pm

Slim you are crazy. Girl you don’t wear them out do you. LOL that is too funny.

@George maybe things will change when she returns. Hopefully you can pick her up at the airport and she will bring you some little trinkets back from her travels and all this will be in the past. I love, love especially young love, and I am cheering for you guys. :grin:

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
4:00 pm

SexyC, your 3:33 post is close to what was going on with us when i asked for a time out a while back. i had sooo much going on with my son that i just could not focus on being ‘there’ for my s/o. he was wanting to get out and have fun and do things and my head just was not in it at all. i thought it would be better for him to not be mired down with my household issues …. he felt otherwise :)

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:04 pm

That was not a TECH move that was a GED/HS dipolma move, and he did all the documenting just to make it stick (formal)

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:04 pm

Don’t know about you guys, but the fact she asked for the break while over there making him change his plans speaks volumes….it’s ova!

@Step-Child ~ I’ve decided no spanking my step-son. Just doesn’t sound right (LOL).

Excellent work, it’s me….lurker!

Tiffani Day

July 6th, 2010
4:05 pm

Georgia Single means that the man is taking advantage of the well known female to male ratio, and being that he is not married, he is technically single. He doesn’t see why he should be with one woman, or admit to having other women simply because it could ruin his chances of being able to take advantage of the situation. The ability to pick and choose. You know him when you see him:

When he calls, he asks that you send him a picture(so he can figure out WHO you are). He is the ultimate serial dater and has NO time for anything deeper than a cheap meal and “blockbuster evening”.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
4:06 pm

Slim — Whew, that’s a relief… Good to know I’m not the only dirty wh0re on this blog… ;-) But, I have to tell you, you’re survey is not very scientific… What you really need is to set up a test case with a control group: i.e. We need to see how long it takes us to recover after *you* make us let one go…. :lol:

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
4:08 pm

Oops… your survey…

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
4:09 pm

Professor – that was news to me…I didn’t think I wore anyone out..but I’ll take that. :lol: :evil: :mrgreen:

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:09 pm

MESSAGE FROM JTJ ~ Anyhoo, if anyone works in a healthcare company or any company that provides a service that is healthcare related to please e-mail their information to Leggs for me? I am also looking for any position in accounting, I have over 7 years exp in accounting.

Thanks guys. I’m trying to make a change.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
4:12 pm

George P ??

when i met my Queen,sha had just turned 21. She lived in another city but had moved to the capital city,where she met me,right after her 21st. Incidentally,as i learnt later, my young brother,who is home now and sick,was actually at her 21 st birthday party at their house,in her home city and cldnt fathem then, that his big bro was gonna be hitting on the host..in months to come…

Anyway,she had gotten a ring from another dude in the dsame city(her college sweatie, i presume),it so happened but she hooked up with me later and I believe let the other dude down easy,unbeknownst to me.

Its quite possible,”ur” girl is doing the same to u.

Like i said earlier, a girl that wants u truly aint gona ask for a break from u!

When a girl is smitten,shes smitten..no beating about the bush!

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:12 pm

For the record, she sent me that msg because she believes her computer is being monitored and she didn’t want to come on the blog because of that feeling.

YESSHEISCUTE

July 6th, 2010
4:14 pm

George P I was in a long distance relationship when I gave the “break” scenario. In my situation it was b/c it was someone else and we had been together almost 4 years and I didn’t know what to do. Looking back I should have just ended it and dealt with whatever cards life dealt. I understand you talking about other people that have made it but realize they are exceptions to the rule. That’s how a lot of women get caught up doing ‘desperate’ crazy things…b/c we think that b/c it happened to someone else we have a chance at the same happiness….”exceptions to the rule” and “freak of nature” are what those happy ending relationships are.

I feel really bad for you…because I’ve been through it as a giver and receiver….and if I didn’t have other things to do such as my boyfriend, finishing school and traveling b/c I work for an airline I’d actually talk to you more about it. You seem like a really cool guy. I don’t think you should date anyone right now because you aren’t ready. But if you are the church type do more stuff with people your age from church. If you are not do more stuff with your friends or on your own. There’s plenty to do in the A…but then I think you said you don’t live here.

I’ve also lived overseas and let me tell you if I had a bf here and had a chance TO GO BACK….Ultimately it comes down to whether its worth losing someone who could be the one or getting a once in a lifetime chance to soar them oats….I’d probably be straight up and say we need to break up b/c I don’t want to miss out on soaring my multilingual oats and I don’t want to cheat on you!

Purple Rain

July 6th, 2010
4:14 pm

Never meant to cause you any trouble, I never meant to cause you any pain

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
4:15 pm

Thanks Sexy and Leggs….Professor, you know what it was, BLACK HANDS SIDE ALLL THE WAY!!! She pulled me aside and said it, POINT BLANK. She said I’ve only dealt and deal with whites, did the motion to point to the inside of the hand versus the outside and I winked and said “I gotchu” yep, just like that, she was no less impressed. Folks still tryna sell on everything else. She was just glad to see a couple of blacks up in there.

Jacobite47

July 6th, 2010
4:16 pm

Not being familiar with blogging I posted my comments re meeting with Leggs on the wrong topic.

Leggs and I had a pleasent chat over drinks, she is one classy lady and very easy to talk to and on the eyes. Perhaps we’ll see each other again.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:16 pm

Haaa, I can hear the echo….PR

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:17 pm

Too cute, Jacobite47.

Thank you. That was a very sweet compliment.

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
4:18 pm

Go ‘head Jacobite47, seal the deal:)

blue

July 6th, 2010
4:18 pm

decided to stay late to make up for my day off, rethinking that plan…..i wann go home :cry:

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
4:19 pm

blue, you been here before?

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
4:21 pm

Awwwwwww, suki suki, now… Cue the music…

“I’ve been really tryyyyyyyyin’, baby

Tryin’ to hold back this feeling, for sooooooooo looooong….

And if you feel

Like I feel, baby….

C’mon, wooooo, c’mon…”

:lol: :lol:

blue

July 6th, 2010
4:22 pm

@lurker – on the blog you mean, started reading you guys awhile back, started posting last week. you guys are funny, makes a boring day go by faster

Purple Rain

July 6th, 2010
4:22 pm

Leggs, how are you?

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:23 pm

@i’m swiss ~ you want to go in “time out?” :lol: :lol: :lol:

Purple Rain

July 6th, 2010
4:23 pm

Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changin’
It’s time we all reach out for something new, that means you too
You say you want a leader, but you can’t seem to make up your mind
And I think you better close it and let me guide you to the purple rain

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:25 pm

@PR ~ doing well. Your horse seems to have a lot of mileage on it since you first arrived. Think it’s time to have him re-shoed (is that the right terminology) and fitted with a new saddle. Too many stains on that one!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:29 pm

Jacobite47, welcome to the blog.

I just want to say, “Get’er done poppa swiss” I had to let that out.

@lurker, for some reason I hate compliments like that…they seem so backhanded to me as if we cannot have it together. I have three degrees and ran circles around folks in my undergrad (I did not attend an HBCU) so I am not impressed with those comparisons. I think it is great that you did a wonderful job, now that is worth a toast to you! here…here everyone raise your bloody marys

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
4:29 pm

YES & George P – Reading your posts brought back some bittersweet memories when I was dealing with a similiar situation, at a similiar age range – early 20’s. Happened 2 times in a row.

I had been dating my Air Force Academy boyfriend for a yr & a half when he was sent to Italy. It was long-distance the entire time. He was not ready to marry and wanted to sow his oats. After that, met a great Morehouse man and he got accepted to Cornell to work on his MBA. I went up to visit a few times, but again, we were not at a point to really settle down. Plus he & others were trying to make me feel bad – he’s from a less-fortunate family & the first to go to graduate college, much less get an advanced degree, young, good-looking smart man with the whole world ahead of him. Who was this woman trying to hem up and hold back this outstanding man? Even though I had my own dreams I was pursuing too – might not have been Cornell, but I had finished UGA and was headed to Ga State for my MBA too. Working at Delta full-time to pay for school and going to grad school at night. We both had a lot going on, but I was so in love I would have given it up in a minute to be with him, move closer to him.

Folks gave me some of the same advice that’s being given out today on the blog. But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
4:31 pm

awwwww. ain’t that the sweetness! :oops:

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
4:31 pm

Sorry, Step-mom, just trying to set the mood… Hey… I just realized… Now that you’re my step mom… does that make you a MILF? :lol: Or maybe a SMILF? :lol:

abc

July 6th, 2010
4:32 pm

So, gird your loins, as they say, George. From what you relate, it doesn’t sound like what you would wish it sounded like, I guess. But good luck, anyway.

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
4:32 pm

Do I smell the scent of a budding romance in the air? Hmmmm? :lol:

i’m swiss – you are a bad bad boy…lol

Leggs – don’t spank him just yet…he’s just trying to set a mood

(i’m swiss now running around dimming all the blog lights, burning incense and candles) lol

YESSHEISCUTE

July 6th, 2010
4:34 pm

Kimmie,

I’m so sorry to hear that! And its true the advice doesn’t make it hurt any less. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I haven’t been in love since 2004. And honestly I am not in a rush to be in it either….the pain is a distant memory and I’d like to keep it that way.

BTW don’t mean to be rude I’ve read an article or two before and allow me to introduce myself my name is YES! :) 26 live in ATL and just cruising through. All of you guys are great and funny to read.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:35 pm

Kimmie~ I feel the same way it seems like when you are young and in love it hurts a little bit more–IMO. Everything is so new and exciting and you love like you have never been hurt, and when the hurt comes you are so new to it you don’t know what to do.

I wish George P the best, and regardless of the outcome I hope he continues to love and be an outstanding young man. He reads well and I like that a lot.

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
4:36 pm

Professor, coincidentally i just had a convo with a co-worker about how i CRINGE whenenver someone tells me i’m so articulate. i f&#^ing hate that complimentary insult! i asked her “what did you expect to fall out when i opened my mouth?”

raising my chocolate milkshake

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
4:36 pm

Slim — Don’t forget the romantic (and utilitarian) dinner I’ve prepared for the lovebirds: Raw oyster & Rhino Dyck Stew :lol:

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:36 pm

Welcome to the blog YES!

I hope you park and not just cruise through on us :grin:

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
4:37 pm

Professor – in most cases I don’t like folks being to aware of black versus white but in this business of booking and selling, most times you only see a black here and there. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty doing the leg work and manual processes but not many that’s the face and voice and I think she was honing in on that more than anything. Thanks for the compliment though. I was more shocked than anything and made mention cause 1) I was truly proud of maself cause she was impressed before today with how I handled a couple of issues and 2) she bypassed and was sooo unimpressed with all the slides and pictures and big words and scenarios of where we’ve (company) been great in making our mark. She was more so like, in reality, how will all this happen? Besides the suites and expensive spread on the table. She was by no means a slouch but she was laid back and cool all the way, with it. I’m rarely impressed by people cause I figure we all the same and at some point we all die, but his chick got me. Not by titles nor credentials but her over all persona. Even the ballplaya (dummy) asked the controller was his promotion title alone or did it come with money and she interjected with a cute story of “honorable” on her title. she said when they gave it to her she asked if it would matter at the bank when getting a loan and was told no. her response was if it ain’t paying me i ain’t impress nor need it….she told the ballplayer all her titles come with money and that she does nothing (as in promoting her team) just to impress. of course i thought that was a dumb question but then again, i’m sort of hard on him.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:38 pm

@i’m swiss ~ You’ve set the mood perfectly. What does that acronym stand for?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:39 pm

@Brat I feel you. It is an backhand insult. I cannot stand that crazy mess. You know what? I really hate when we do it to each other.

That chocolate shake sounds good!

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
4:39 pm

Trust me I’m the last person that gets off on anything of the sort but I like her…she’s a cool chick

kimmie

July 6th, 2010
4:40 pm

YES – Great to meet you and welcome to the blog!

My pain I shared before is a VERY distant memory! God had a different plan for me & all parties involved. All that was actually over 15 years ago and I am in a very happy relationship now. Time does heal, but it’s hard to hear that when you’re going thru it.

Me & my SO have had to deal with some tough things, like major deaths in our families – he lost his wife and I lost both my parents and my youngest brother. We both live lives now with no regrets. Things I wish I had done back then I am getting a chance to do now. Life is precious and short. Be happy!

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
4:40 pm

I’m honored still…I cannot nor will deny when I’ve charmed someone. Typcially that’s what I do and that’s my aim…impressing and winning the clients WITH all the hulabaloo an d

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
4:41 pm

“Raw oyster & Rhino Dyck Stew”

i’m swiss – you made me snot on myself….LMAO!!!! I read ‘Raw oyster’ and was okay with that…then I got to the Rhino Dyck Stew :shock: Where dey do dat at?

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:43 pm

Welcome to Blogsville YES! Hope you got a lot of backbone!!!!

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:43 pm

Rather, a strong backbone!!!

blue

July 6th, 2010
4:44 pm

@czBrat – i so feel that comment. used to hate it when folks would say i was trying to sound white. just because i speak proper english? how is that trying to sound white, just not trying to sound stupid! had you already made up your mind that i couldnt say anything intelligent?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:44 pm

Slim I actually eat raw oyster, but that other was some GHANA Melo cooking :grin:

I can’t go for that…in my Hall and Oats voice

queen

July 6th, 2010
4:45 pm

The sad reality is people play games. Be direct about what you want and what you expect to receive. Ask questions don’t play guessing games and don’t assume anything. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER….MEANING U ARE NOT MARRIED…YOU ARE SINGLE. BOTTOM LINE.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
4:46 pm

Rhino Dyck Stew??

:oops:

@Swiss..u intruducing terminology that makes Leggs blush and gives Jacobite47 some ideas!

Hes is like :idea: when u start talking like that!

:lol:

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:47 pm

@i’m swiss ~ You messed up with that visual….Go get in the shower nekkid so I can give you a wet spanking (they hurt more)!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:48 pm

Leggs, did you wear red, and show your leggs to poppa swiss jacobite47?

abc

July 6th, 2010
4:48 pm

If someone can guess your race just by hearing your voice, maybe some speech therapy is in order.

YESSHEISCUTE

July 6th, 2010
4:53 pm

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:53 pm

@Prof ~ No, I didn’t. We met up straight after work. I had on white linen capri pants, a nice colorful top and black sandals.

@abc ~ I wouldn’t necessarily say speech therapy is in order. Southerners have a very strong twang that can’t be ironed out. Even with me being a NYer, I grew up with many people thinking I was white when on the phone due to my diction and my name.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
4:54 pm

@Leggs..dont give any more updates unless Jacoby is ok with that!

just handle ur damn bizz!

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:55 pm

abc~ you really sound like an idiot on that 4:48. What does speech therapy have to do with race Dummy???? :roll:

Have a great evening!

Beautiful

July 6th, 2010
4:55 pm

y’all wanna read something funny? i got a phone call from a blogger accusing me of thangs that they heard from some one on here! LOL. you a messy heffa!!! you know who you are. you are way too grown to be gossip’n like that. shame.

blue

July 6th, 2010
4:56 pm

@Leggs – a fellow NYer, woohoo. what part you from? from Queens myself.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
4:56 pm

Leggs~thanks and gotcha. I agree with melo on that 4:54!

abc

July 6th, 2010
4:57 pm

I said if someone can guess your race, only by the sound of your voice, then obviously something is up with your enunciation, diction, etc. Speech therapy can fix that. If you’d rather be identifiable in that way, don’t complain about people that will stereotype and pigeonhole you on account of it. You bring it upon yourself.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:57 pm

It’s easy to give up, but no matter what the outcome is, if you do your best, you are always the winner.

Good night!

@Step-Son ~ I want you home before the street lights come on!!

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:57 pm

@Melo ~ if you’ve noticed, I didn’t give an update on the meet and greet. I told her what I had on!

abc

July 6th, 2010
4:59 pm

In other words, if you sound ignorant, you’ll be regarded that way. It isn’t just ebonics that brings it on; Hispanic accents are the same. Indian accents are the same. Shoot, I’m weary of trying to understand English accents. They speak so fast it starts to sound like chit chit chit chit. Speech therapy, please.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
4:59 pm

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:00 pm

hubbys from the Bronx. We fight all the time over which side of the bridge is better, lol. guess we’re all migrating down here.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
5:01 pm

You big DUMMy abc, that is a lie. People will place you in a box due to your accent, voice, tone etc. It has nothing to do with diction some groups have deeper voices, while other groups have lighter voices etc.

@Beautiful that is a HOT MESS! Now make it hotter by calling them out monikers and all. Tell the truth and shame the :evil: devil.

It's me....lurker

July 6th, 2010
5:01 pm

boy I tell ya…SMH

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:02 pm

which side is better, we throw the bridge in to be silly. how do you get from the Bronx to Queens anyway lol. i just stick to Manhatten when i go home, lol, and that way there is a bridge!

abc

July 6th, 2010
5:04 pm

But those attributes don’t lend themselves to guessing ethnicity based on voice alone. Southern accents in and of themselves are regarded poorly by those outside the South; if you’re in Seattle and say “yall”, even with no drawl at all, you’ll be considered a hayseed.

If you don’t want to be regarded in those terms, then don’t subscribe to that behavior. It’s simple. Calling me names about it simply indicates that you have no real basis for rebuttal.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
5:05 pm

Step-Mom — MILF stands for:

Mom
I‘d
Like to
F____

:lol:

In other words: a Hot Mama:lol:

Oh, and you don’t have to eat the Raw Oyster & Rhino Dyck Stew… Just give some to Poppa Swiss & you’ll have a much better evening… ;-) :lol:

Professor

July 6th, 2010
5:08 pm

If you read my statement you would have seen the rebuttal. Shall we teach reading 101 tomorrow? Get a life! I can guess plenty of races by the sound of voices white, blacks, asians etc. Not to mention I can tell gays as well. So if your theory was true 95.9% of all the people I speak with need speech therapy. :roll:

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:10 pm

blue, i’m from Kings, and i’m pretty sure a bridge will be involved no matter how you choose to get off the mainland. :)

LOL @ Profesor & Beautiful. should i put my blog vest on? wait …. where is it? LEGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

abc

July 6th, 2010
5:14 pm

If you watch AA reporters on national news stations, or those outside of Southern markets, you’ll find that there is no trace of anything ethnically identifiable in their speech. The President has nothing in his manner of speech that’s ethnically identifiable. I daresay that if he did, he’d not be President. Bobby Jindal doesn’t sound Indian — ‘course, while he was born Piyush Jindal, he was born in Baton Rouge. He changed his name and learned to speak clearly and without ethnic inflection as a matter of personal course. People pay too much attention to things like that for it to be an acceptable trait.

Unless you’re more concerned with being identified in that way than by the judgments people will visit upon you on that account. In that case, it’s a personal choice, isn’t it?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
5:14 pm

@brat I am headed home so no vest for me. I want to log on tomorrow and see the names. I feel like this if you bring it on the blog, call out the monikers. No government names have been requested, but call those monikers out. We know we have some messy, two-faced, backstabbing bloggers from time to time. I say put it out there, since she posted that message anyway. Why post the message if you are not going to really call them out??

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:15 pm

too true there czBrat. Hey, can you tell me someplace i can get real, or at least decent pizza down here, pizzahut just doesnt cut it

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:16 pm

although i have no discernible accent *cough*, i think the comment made by my co-worker was based on my ease of expression and proper grammar moreso than any pitch or diction. i just think they truly expect us to not know when/how to pocket the ebonics.

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:17 pm

uhhh. nope. i make it my business to try just about every place that claims to have NY style, and they fail ….. miserably! there is an uncle vito’s by me (snellville) that’s pretty good. what side of town are you, blue?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
5:17 pm

abc, you just made my point for me. Piyush Jindal was born in America, why would he sound Indian he was not raised there? President Obama sounds like a black man when he speaks. Listen to his voice and listen to Joe Biden.

Ciao

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
5:18 pm

I feel like this if you bring it on the blog, call out the monikers. No government names have been requested, but call those monikers out.

Professor – I agree. When folks don’t name names, it comes across like they just need attention and the need to start drama.

abc

July 6th, 2010
5:21 pm

Joe Biden sounds like the region of the country he’s from; he’s largely regarded as a buffoon not due to his speech patterns, but rather what he says. Obama does not speak in manner that allows for stereotype and pigeonhole; he’s one of the best public speakers in the past 100 years. Without that, he’d most assuredly not be President.

I’ve not made your point for you. You’re not making a point, other than to say “thpppppppt”. Your prerogative, I suppose.

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:22 pm

clayton county, working in midtown, i guess this is midtown lol. i tried Felinnis on Ponce and their the closest ive come so far

Beautiful

July 6th, 2010
5:23 pm

LMBO. i wish i could. but want to let the heffa know her plan didn’t work. LOL. jealous? LOL. too funny.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:24 pm

@czB ~ new blog vest will be at your door first thing in the morning. However, going forward, must have 6+ zinger holes before another will be distributed to you. You may have been absent when this directive came through so I’ll give you a pass this late in the day!

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:24 pm

let’s see. i used to live in j’boro. gimme a min or two & i’ll see if i recall any good ones int that area. the last excellent NY style spot in midtown has been gone for quite some time; it was ’slice of life’ on p’tree.

maybe we should start a crusade. we could for our very own version of zagat’s. :lol:

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:26 pm

6+ zinger holes? yeah. got those from rell way back when i first started. :mad:

thanx mama!

ciao!

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:27 pm

lol Leggs
cz Brat, works for me. i miss NY/NJ/Philly food, been here a few years and still cant get used to the difference.
What in the world is a fried twinkie?

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
5:28 pm

A fried twinkie is a heart attack waiting to happen.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
5:29 pm

LOL Beautiful ..who did u phucck this time around??

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:29 pm

@blue ~ when home the only time I’m on the bridge is when I’m riding my bike. I take train in to Manhattan where all the crazy vendors are. If feeling good, may make it to DeLancey Street!

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:29 pm

LOL @ Sexy! now you’re thinking like a runner!!

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
5:30 pm

Angie – If you can’t name names, then why even bring it on here? You just like drama. You’re in your 40s. Ignore stuff like that and especially don’t bring it here where you can look old, messy and ri.dicu.lous to the rest of us.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:31 pm

@blue ~ talking about pizza. My specialty. Fellini’s on Ponce is the closest you’re going to get. However, there’s a pizza shop called The Pizzeria off Chamblee-Tucker. It’s in the same shopping center where The Velvet Room is. If you get their stuffed pizza, close your eyes, you’re swear you’re back home having a slice!

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:33 pm

gonna have to try them, Leggs.
went home in april, must admit loaded up on pizza and philly cheese steaks, came home with bags of entenmanns and drakes cakes, think i gained 10 lbs lol. (NOT a runner here, lol)

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
5:34 pm

blue – Johnny’s Pizza is pretty decent. They may have one in Fayetteville. But definitely have one in Hapeville.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:35 pm

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:36 pm

Thanx for the suggestions all, maybe now i wont feel so homesick.
czBrat, will let you know of any additions to our zagats lol.
had enuf fun in this cubicle for one day, calling quits. ttfn, ta ta for now

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:36 pm

i won’t lie. i’ve got a freezer full of knishes. Leggs is right, Fellini’s is probably as close as you’ll get. but we’ll keep searching.

we need to put a posse together and try the big pie in the sky pizza in alpharetta. supposed to be NY style and about 3ft wide.

Beautiful

July 6th, 2010
5:37 pm

i see i got someone’s attention! smh. @ARED . . . i’m over here chillax’n and minding my own. quiet! then i get a phone call about how she is reporting back my posts to another blogger. yep, my feathers got ruffled a bit.

i’m kuu all the time, but once someone causes waves i strike back. will let the chick know i know, feel me? since she popped back in, my job is done!

gnite.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
5:40 pm

“…we need to put a posse together and try the big pie in the sky pizza in alpharetta.”

When you do, let me know… the Swiss Embassy is in that neck of the woods…. ;-)

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:43 pm

deal swiss!

ciao :)

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
6:42 pm

@ARed~ I concur.

If you cannot name names, stop playing games (said in my jesse jackson voice).

Beautiful

July 6th, 2010
6:49 pm

@Prof
you jus nosey! LOL.

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
7:20 pm

@Beautiful…yep now give me a clue. I saw two folks pop in I am not sure which one. :grin:

mark

July 6th, 2010
7:59 pm

Scared of You

July 6th, 2010
8:08 pm

Ladies… If this Mark is my ex-husband, run, run as fast and as far as you can!

Scared of You

July 6th, 2010
8:09 pm

Sorry Mark, your last name is different…. He may be alrite!