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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Has the definition of single changed?

I suppose I should not be shocked whenever it turns out someone is not as “single” as they claimed to be.  I recently exchanged numbers with a guy (younger) who pretended to be unattached.

It wasn’t until I got a call from his significant (and livid) other that I learned he was involved with someone.  They actually lived together. What made him think he could date me in his situation? I had to laugh at how pathetic that entire incident was. I’m too old for this!

It is so annoying to discover you wasted your time on someone who decided to “hedge their bets” on the dating game.  I can understand dating around and keeping your options open as long as you are upfront and honest about it.  It is rare to find someone who tells you the absolute truth about his or her relationship status.   Even on Facebook that ridiculous “it’s complicated” feature perpetuates the problem.

When I meet someone that sparks an interest, I ask them the question are you married or seeing someone special.  This is a pretty clear question right?  Why is it hard to admit you are in a relationship or working on one?

Do I need to frame the question differently? Should I specify by asking about live-ins, separated from wife, etc.?

When you meet people, how do you determine if they are actually single and available?  Would you still be interested in someone if they were involved with another person?

435 comments Add your comment

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:10 pm

blue, i’m from Kings, and i’m pretty sure a bridge will be involved no matter how you choose to get off the mainland. :)

LOL @ Profesor & Beautiful. should i put my blog vest on? wait …. where is it? LEGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

abc

July 6th, 2010
5:14 pm

If you watch AA reporters on national news stations, or those outside of Southern markets, you’ll find that there is no trace of anything ethnically identifiable in their speech. The President has nothing in his manner of speech that’s ethnically identifiable. I daresay that if he did, he’d not be President. Bobby Jindal doesn’t sound Indian — ‘course, while he was born Piyush Jindal, he was born in Baton Rouge. He changed his name and learned to speak clearly and without ethnic inflection as a matter of personal course. People pay too much attention to things like that for it to be an acceptable trait.

Unless you’re more concerned with being identified in that way than by the judgments people will visit upon you on that account. In that case, it’s a personal choice, isn’t it?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
5:14 pm

@brat I am headed home so no vest for me. I want to log on tomorrow and see the names. I feel like this if you bring it on the blog, call out the monikers. No government names have been requested, but call those monikers out. We know we have some messy, two-faced, backstabbing bloggers from time to time. I say put it out there, since she posted that message anyway. Why post the message if you are not going to really call them out??

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:15 pm

too true there czBrat. Hey, can you tell me someplace i can get real, or at least decent pizza down here, pizzahut just doesnt cut it

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:16 pm

although i have no discernible accent *cough*, i think the comment made by my co-worker was based on my ease of expression and proper grammar moreso than any pitch or diction. i just think they truly expect us to not know when/how to pocket the ebonics.

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:17 pm

uhhh. nope. i make it my business to try just about every place that claims to have NY style, and they fail ….. miserably! there is an uncle vito’s by me (snellville) that’s pretty good. what side of town are you, blue?

Professor

July 6th, 2010
5:17 pm

abc, you just made my point for me. Piyush Jindal was born in America, why would he sound Indian he was not raised there? President Obama sounds like a black man when he speaks. Listen to his voice and listen to Joe Biden.

Ciao

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
5:18 pm

I feel like this if you bring it on the blog, call out the monikers. No government names have been requested, but call those monikers out.

Professor – I agree. When folks don’t name names, it comes across like they just need attention and the need to start drama.

abc

July 6th, 2010
5:21 pm

Joe Biden sounds like the region of the country he’s from; he’s largely regarded as a buffoon not due to his speech patterns, but rather what he says. Obama does not speak in manner that allows for stereotype and pigeonhole; he’s one of the best public speakers in the past 100 years. Without that, he’d most assuredly not be President.

I’ve not made your point for you. You’re not making a point, other than to say “thpppppppt”. Your prerogative, I suppose.

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:22 pm

clayton county, working in midtown, i guess this is midtown lol. i tried Felinnis on Ponce and their the closest ive come so far

Beautiful

July 6th, 2010
5:23 pm

LMBO. i wish i could. but want to let the heffa know her plan didn’t work. LOL. jealous? LOL. too funny.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:24 pm

@czB ~ new blog vest will be at your door first thing in the morning. However, going forward, must have 6+ zinger holes before another will be distributed to you. You may have been absent when this directive came through so I’ll give you a pass this late in the day!

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:24 pm

let’s see. i used to live in j’boro. gimme a min or two & i’ll see if i recall any good ones int that area. the last excellent NY style spot in midtown has been gone for quite some time; it was ’slice of life’ on p’tree.

maybe we should start a crusade. we could for our very own version of zagat’s. :lol:

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:26 pm

6+ zinger holes? yeah. got those from rell way back when i first started. :mad:

thanx mama!

ciao!

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:27 pm

lol Leggs
cz Brat, works for me. i miss NY/NJ/Philly food, been here a few years and still cant get used to the difference.
What in the world is a fried twinkie?

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
5:28 pm

A fried twinkie is a heart attack waiting to happen.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
5:29 pm

LOL Beautiful ..who did u phucck this time around??

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:29 pm

@blue ~ when home the only time I’m on the bridge is when I’m riding my bike. I take train in to Manhattan where all the crazy vendors are. If feeling good, may make it to DeLancey Street!

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:29 pm

LOL @ Sexy! now you’re thinking like a runner!!

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
5:30 pm

Angie – If you can’t name names, then why even bring it on here? You just like drama. You’re in your 40s. Ignore stuff like that and especially don’t bring it here where you can look old, messy and ri.dicu.lous to the rest of us.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:31 pm

@blue ~ talking about pizza. My specialty. Fellini’s on Ponce is the closest you’re going to get. However, there’s a pizza shop called The Pizzeria off Chamblee-Tucker. It’s in the same shopping center where The Velvet Room is. If you get their stuffed pizza, close your eyes, you’re swear you’re back home having a slice!

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:33 pm

gonna have to try them, Leggs.
went home in april, must admit loaded up on pizza and philly cheese steaks, came home with bags of entenmanns and drakes cakes, think i gained 10 lbs lol. (NOT a runner here, lol)

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
5:34 pm

blue – Johnny’s Pizza is pretty decent. They may have one in Fayetteville. But definitely have one in Hapeville.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
5:35 pm

blue

July 6th, 2010
5:36 pm

Thanx for the suggestions all, maybe now i wont feel so homesick.
czBrat, will let you know of any additions to our zagats lol.
had enuf fun in this cubicle for one day, calling quits. ttfn, ta ta for now

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:36 pm

i won’t lie. i’ve got a freezer full of knishes. Leggs is right, Fellini’s is probably as close as you’ll get. but we’ll keep searching.

we need to put a posse together and try the big pie in the sky pizza in alpharetta. supposed to be NY style and about 3ft wide.

Beautiful

July 6th, 2010
5:37 pm

i see i got someone’s attention! smh. @ARED . . . i’m over here chillax’n and minding my own. quiet! then i get a phone call about how she is reporting back my posts to another blogger. yep, my feathers got ruffled a bit.

i’m kuu all the time, but once someone causes waves i strike back. will let the chick know i know, feel me? since she popped back in, my job is done!

gnite.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
5:40 pm

“…we need to put a posse together and try the big pie in the sky pizza in alpharetta.”

When you do, let me know… the Swiss Embassy is in that neck of the woods…. ;-)

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
5:43 pm

deal swiss!

ciao :)

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
6:42 pm

@ARed~ I concur.

If you cannot name names, stop playing games (said in my jesse jackson voice).

Beautiful

July 6th, 2010
6:49 pm

@Prof
you jus nosey! LOL.

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
7:20 pm

@Beautiful…yep now give me a clue. I saw two folks pop in I am not sure which one. :grin:

mark

July 6th, 2010
7:59 pm

Scared of You

July 6th, 2010
8:08 pm

Ladies… If this Mark is my ex-husband, run, run as fast and as far as you can!

Scared of You

July 6th, 2010
8:09 pm

Sorry Mark, your last name is different…. He may be alrite!