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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: Has the definition of single changed?

I suppose I should not be shocked whenever it turns out someone is not as “single” as they claimed to be.  I recently exchanged numbers with a guy (younger) who pretended to be unattached.

It wasn’t until I got a call from his significant (and livid) other that I learned he was involved with someone.  They actually lived together. What made him think he could date me in his situation? I had to laugh at how pathetic that entire incident was. I’m too old for this!

It is so annoying to discover you wasted your time on someone who decided to “hedge their bets” on the dating game.  I can understand dating around and keeping your options open as long as you are upfront and honest about it.  It is rare to find someone who tells you the absolute truth about his or her relationship status.   Even on Facebook that ridiculous “it’s complicated” feature perpetuates the problem.

When I meet someone that sparks an interest, I ask them the question are you married or seeing someone special.  This is a pretty clear question right?  Why is it hard to admit you are in a relationship or working on one?

Do I need to frame the question differently? Should I specify by asking about live-ins, separated from wife, etc.?

When you meet people, how do you determine if they are actually single and available?  Would you still be interested in someone if they were involved with another person?

435 comments Add your comment

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
1:06 pm

Now trying out swiss’s blog cheat sheet..if this comes out something pornographic..blame MacCheesy

:evil:
:twisted:
:?:
:razz:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:07 pm

@ professor

I swear i’m going to pass out sleep and hit my head on the desk :shock: Long weekends will ruin you.

2 hours 24 minutes to go………………

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
1:07 pm

Kym — I fully support Damon… Drunk, in a car, w/ some strange chick’s red panties in my lap is pretty much how I spent every game day…. ;-) :lol:

undecided

July 6th, 2010
1:09 pm

If you are still legally married but separated (claiming never going back), can you call yourself single? She told me shi is…I said no.

Kym--News Junkie >>Level 5

July 6th, 2010
1:13 pm

@Swiss you know you are soooo not right LMAO…

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:18 pm

If you are still legally married but separated (claiming never going back), can you call yourself single?

I am and I don’t.

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:19 pm

@PK at least you can start the countdown. I have not been to lunch yet.

Long weekends will ruin you for real…I think I am going to take a nap at lunch.

i'm swiss

July 6th, 2010
1:20 pm

Kym — On a serious note, though, re: UGA athlete arrests… Here’s a perfect example of why you see so many… UGA campus cops are some little power-hungry attention wh0res who just love any chance to get their names in the paper.

BpBB27

July 6th, 2010
1:21 pm

SexyC hit the nail on the head.

Personally, anyone that is still “Living” with someone that they were once involved with should not be trying to date anyone!!! Get your life together before you step to someone that is honestly seeking to date. I am a singly-Single young lady and a gentleman that has a pause between his words when I ask important questions will get dismissed. Body language and eye to eye contact always speaks for itself.

I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend!! :o )

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:21 pm

I want a turkey pastrami (shaved) sammich with a side of potato salad and a bread & butter pickle. Anybody out there willing to grab lunch for me? :smile:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:22 pm

Professor,

due to our summer schedule I only have a 30 min lunch, If we were on our reg schedule I most certainly woulda been asleep LOL but trust being here at 6:30 is draining on a regular work week~No holidays.

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:23 pm

Professor and PK,

:twisted:
:roll:

That’s all I have to say.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:24 pm

Trevor

awww, don’t be that way love :)

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:25 pm

@PK I feel you I am not a morning person at all. Don’t get me wrong I wake up early and get a lot done in the morning I just don’t like talking or having folks bothering me :evil:

Well let me go find some lernch, since nobody wants to bring me a pastrami sam’mich :sad: :cry:

Misty

July 6th, 2010
1:26 pm

My now “ex-boyfriend” told me he was single when we first met. I found out later in the relationship he had another girlfriend the whole time we were together. If I knew he was involved with someone else, I never would’ve started dating him at all as I was completely single and thought he was the same.It doesn’t matter how you ask the question if they are single or not because if the guy is gonna lie, he’s still gonna lie to you regardless.

SlimKoo-koo for Coco Pops

July 6th, 2010
1:26 pm

The “Itis” is kicking in now…need a pick me up…that’s what I get for going to bed late after a long weekend. :yawn:

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:26 pm

Yall talking being sleepy and wanting a nap. Don’t send that lazy bug over this way.

:lol:

Professor

July 6th, 2010
1:27 pm

Awwwwwwwww Trevor you know you feel bad for us! If you could you would have given us one of your vacation days to use so we would not be so sad. :wink:

George P

July 6th, 2010
1:28 pm

We’ve been at only talking about twice a week for probably 3 weeks now, but I’m wondering if I should just cut her off. She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then? I’ve got a life and have been staying active, just wondering if I should throw in drinks with a lady into the mix of what to do on a Friday night. If she’s casually hanging out with guys, I don’t see why I shouldn’t either. Doesn’t mean it has to go anywhere, but sometimes it’s fun to meet new candidates.
I agree Melo, if she says I should go explore too, it seems like she doesn’t care if I leave. It sucks and she says she just needs alone time, but it feels like if I’m out of the picture, that’s fine by her. I wish she’d just have the guts to tell it to me straight, if that’s how she felt. But then again, if she’s just confused herself, what should she do?
You guys all rock, next time I’m in A town, first round is on me

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
1:28 pm

believe it or not, if asked, i would still say i’m single (simply because i’m not married). but i’d never deny being in a relationship. s/o feels the answer to the “are you single” question should be “no”.
:?:

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
1:29 pm

abc – I like the 11:36.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:30 pm

Don’t get me wrong I wake up early and get a lot done in the morning I just don’t like talking or having folks bothering me

@ professor ME TOO! I hate that before I can even unlock my office door they guys will be calling my name and asking questions, on our regular schedule it isn’t as bad because half the guys are already gone in the field when i get here, but now they all clocking in at the same time driving me insane. Somedays i just wanna scream HURSH!!!

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
1:32 pm

@ARed did you make it out of the house Friday?

Professor – Sure didn’t. :lol:

czBrat

July 6th, 2010
1:32 pm

LOL @ Slim. i didn’t shut down til 2am. knowing damn well i’d be struggling to get through the work day. all i kept thinking was ‘if i’d joined the air force when i was supposed to, i’d be retired now!!!” :mad:

Misty

July 6th, 2010
1:33 pm

Trevor0529: There are many people who pull this one: saying they are single,but still legally married. Let me just clarify this for everyone out there: If your divorce isn’t final; You are still considered married! I dont’ care if you hate the person, moved out of state, or whatever; You are still Legally married so stop telling everyone you’re single. Here’s another one; stop telling people your’e separated from your spouse if you have not filled out the proper documents to get a legal separation;jut because you left and moved out, doesn’t mean your are divorced; Hello?? Guess what; you are still considered married! Getting out of a marriage is a little different from just breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Tiffani Day

July 6th, 2010
1:34 pm

Well… Speaking for myself, I have found it hard to be honest about a relationship when I am not happy. And because I don’t really KNOW you at the time, it really isn’t your business because I don’t owe you the truth. There are signs that the person you met has someone SOMEwhere. But you have to pay attention. When you are actively dating, these are the chances you take. I completely ignore the OTHER woman when these things happen. UNLESS OF COURSE, if the guy was a lame and I gave in after repeated attempts for my attention, then I am out for revenge just because. I have called girls numbers in my man’s phone before… and the times I didn’t call were when I didn’t want another woman to know she had the ups on me.. So it wasn’t a maturity thing at all. But these men here are what I call “Georgia Single”.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:36 pm

Getting out of a marriage is a little different from just breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend

^^^^

I think this is why more people are opting for the “living together” experience than Marriage. You can’t just up and leave when ya’ll have papers on each other, the legally binding contract has to be dissolved.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:37 pm

“Georgia Single”.

:shock:

Tiffani, please define :lol:

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
1:38 pm

@My Step-Son (im swiss) ~ you too big to spank! But then again, if I do spank you, the authorities will not be called for child cruelty! Hmmmmm……

@undecided ~ still married…

@Prof ~ if you have a Jason’s Deli around you, they’ll deliver if you can get a few others to order something too.

She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then?

@GeorgeP ~ am I missing something. She comes back in a month and says she needs space. Yes, darling, leave her alone. Whatever you do, don’t let her see you sweat her! She won’t like it!!!! And women tend to pay attention to men when they turn the other cheek and ignore them or when they see him with another woman. Then, our curiousity is piqued again. Not all, but for many!

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:38 pm

Awwwwwwwww Trevor you know you feel bad for us! No I don’t :razz: If you could you would have given us one of your vacation days to use so we would not be so sad I have two weeks of vacation still to take and ya ain’t gettin’ none! :razz:

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:41 pm

@Swiss??

Is the guy who got arrested in a newly minted witness protection program??

what the heck is going on with his middle name and confusion??

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
1:42 pm

Just had to go and get a latte to get me over the hump.

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
1:42 pm

@George P ~ but let me ask this, if she omes back in a month how do you cut her off until then. What are you guys doing, having sex via webcam? What are you cutting her off from??

Trevor0529

July 6th, 2010
1:42 pm

We’ve been at only talking about twice a week for probably 3 weeks now, but I’m wondering if I should just cut her off.

Probably so.

She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then? YES!!

That is crap she is feeding you. Damn!! Now I agree with Melo and Swiss on this one.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:43 pm

She comes back in a month, and says she just wants space, so should I just cut her off until then?

@ George, sounds quite possibly like she met someone while she was abroad and now she is confused.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:46 pm

women tend to pay attention when they see him with another woman

:wink: :wink: :wink: to all the single ladies in MIA as I show off my left ring finger/hand with wedding band! :lol: :lol:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:47 pm

Sexy C

I sure wouldn’t mind a caramel cappuccino right about now. but since i only have 1 hour 13 minutes before i go back out in the heat and head to the gym I’ll pass :(

Leggs

July 6th, 2010
1:48 pm

@Melo ~ not a new dude, their old dude!!! Big difference! :wink:

What time is it?

July 6th, 2010
1:50 pm

@ Tiffani Day

What is Georgia Single?

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:54 pm

not a new dude, their old dude!!! Big difference

@Leggs??

:???:

SexyCool - Living on a cloud.

July 6th, 2010
1:55 pm

PK – I really didn’t need this. But, I am calorie light today and after the P’tree Sunday, working out with TheDude on my softball skills yesterday and running three miles this morning, I needed a pick me up AND a treat. LOL!

What are you working on at the gym today?

Right now, I am *straight* cardio and will be for this entire month.

Melo

July 6th, 2010
1:55 pm

she met someone while she was abroad and now she is confused.

@PrincessNik??

I agree..good dyckk confuses alotta ladies! :lol: :lol: :lol:

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:57 pm

Sexy C, I am straight cardio also right now. I’m going to reintroduce some of the turbo jam workouts into my routine though, they are fun and hard at the same time but they work the entire body.

George P

July 6th, 2010
1:58 pm

Alright, I hear you. I’ve to this point let her reach me and made a point not to be the one to start the convo, but i think you’re right I should not even let her check up on me until she’s serious. Just sucks and I don’t want to push her away, but at the same time don’t want to be played a fool.
And when she’s in the states, I did put in the effort to see her about once a month. My fam is still in GA so it’s been do-able. We’ll see!

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
1:58 pm

I agree..good dyckk confuses alotta ladies

melo, that is what is refered to as dyckmatized ;)

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
1:59 pm

@PK, Trevor said NO on the vacay days :cry: I thought Trevor was cool with us

@George P, Baby boy igg her for two weeks and do a brief check in. You will know what is going on when she gets back (a) she will be thirsty and hand you the honey pot in the airport parking deck or (b) you will hear that she is back in town from the gossip committee.

PrincessNik

July 6th, 2010
2:00 pm

Professor, I see Trevor doesn’t want to share but its okay

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 6th, 2010
2:05 pm

George P, you know your girl and you know your relationship. Customize this ish we been telling you and handle your business. Now you seem like a smart young man, I know you will make the right decision even if it makes a fool out of you the first go-round. You will get it together. Like I said the game is different the first time around, plus men love harder.

Chill, ok? :wink:

AmazonRed™

July 6th, 2010
2:06 pm

Just sucks and I don’t want to push her away, but at the same time don’t want to be played a fool.

George P – You can’t push her away. She’s already elected to leave.

You can remind her that she had a good thing by being with you. Don’t be a doormat though. Once she realizes what she’s lost, she’ll make the moves to get back in your good graces again.

Unless she finds someone else, which means, you were better off moving on anyway! :lol:

Lady-Resilient!!

July 6th, 2010
2:09 pm

Waving @ ALL my fellow blog peeps!!!!! How is everyone????!!!!!!???? :)

Shout Out @ Professor! ;)

WOW trying to catch up……lol