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Dating: Ego Handling

When you are single and available, there are times when you just have to go through a dry spell.  This is when you have no prospects whatsoever.  Not even the church mothers who are trying to play matchmaker are circling around you!  Don’t panic! It’s perfectly normal and happens to everyone.

Perhaps the worst time to endure a dry spell is right after a break up or some disappointment.  You are eager to prove that you aren’t undateable and your ego needs a quick fix.  I believe I have said it before but our egos are a big problem when it comes to dating.  I mean, not only handling the egos of other people, but our own egos get in the way.

What usually happens is we get a reality check along the way.  Someone we really like doesn’t call us back or isn’t interested in us.  Having a healthy dose of confidence is never a bad thing but humility is important!

One way we can better  manage our egos in dating is going the extra distance for someone.  I know it can be tough taking a risk, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal.  If you find a person you feel drawn to, what difference does it make if you put in a little more effort?  It could pay off and that could be what makes you stand out.

I believe ladies (ok, I really mean ME) have the biggest problem with getting their egos in check.  It is part defense mechanism and part feeling entitled to be pursued all the time.  At any rate, it would be worth it to find ways to show a guy that you think he is special too.

What do you think single people could do to handle their egos better?

I recently told a friend of mine she needed to check her ego and date a shorter man.  She can keep all her fabulous heels and be really happy with a great guy if she dropped her ego and gave it a shot.  Do you think single people should check their ego when it comes to their dating prospects too?

298 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
1:12 pm

LOL @ LURKER. My s/o has his own job and own house.

I did think about calling him and asking to stop over for a lil afternoon delight tho…but decided to be good. :lol:

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
1:12 pm

Leggs don’t think i’m being played, but imma give it time and see how things play out. In the meanwhile, daaayyyuuuummmm, it’s nice to feel soooooo good :)

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
1:13 pm

man got serious skillz

@Lucinda..is it the sticking,the licking,both or u just so daamn confused and consumed by it all that u cant tell.

so u went for the 3 + month rule??

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
1:14 pm

@Ghana he is masterful, i am putty at this point. gotta chill out!! o

okay, i’ll calm down now…

Angel

July 2nd, 2010
1:15 pm

@Ghana and Lucinda ~ it’s not aways ego that holds you back, sometimes it’s the fear of getting hurt. Love is a risk and you gotta feel/know that the other person is in it too.

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
1:17 pm

3+ months, exactly. taking it slow, might be a keeper

Angel

July 2nd, 2010
1:18 pm

@Lucinda – it’s almost like a controlled passion – when your heart wants to just jump in but your mind is saying whoa and forget about listening to the body becasue it’s just horney lol

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
1:18 pm

@Ghana and Lucinda ~ it’s not aways ego that holds you back, sometimes it’s the fear of getting hurt.
Angel The way Lucinda is talking, I’m sure that dude already knows how she feels. She may not be saying it, but I bet it shows in her behavior when she interacts with him. The non-verbal cues are saying it all at this point.

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
1:20 pm

*I’m sure that dude already knows how she feels.*

I think so.

Just like I know how he feels.

Angel

July 2nd, 2010
1:21 pm

@Dreams Mat – You are right – that is just too much power for a man to have ~expecially if he does feel the same. Jus sayin

Angel

July 2nd, 2010
1:22 pm

Airgo – The EGO – It sereves as a protection against hurt.

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
1:24 pm

@Angel You can’t love fully if you don’t risk hurt. I’d rather accept the risk and go for really being loved and loving somebody else than be so guarded that the experience is never full. I don’t risk it easily, though, so that’s probably why I’m kind flipping out a little right now.

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
1:26 pm

might be a keeper

@Lucinda??

what have u learnt from ur previous relationships that u deplying now in this one,if u have had any be4 and what are u doing to making him keep U?

@Angel

Love is a risk and you gotta feel/know that the other person is in it too

Nope!

true luv is unconditional..the moment u waiting for ques from the other person be4 u can express yours,thats Ego….and that can cost u a good man…be vulnerable urself even if the other person has not gone there yet..coz that infact maybe the act that breaks him and lets him express his.

Men will see and feel ur luv even tho they may not verbalize what they see.

Phuck that Ego!

Angel

July 2nd, 2010
1:30 pm

@ Ghana – :) I hear ya
But what if it’s not returned – nobody wants to feel like a fool in love.

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
1:31 pm

’so u arent going to the mountains with Mr Lurker’

@Ghana – nope…wedding…NC…i’m a hostess so gotta go. (Not to mention it’s my roomies brother that’s getting married) lol

Ain’t nuttin like some guuud guuud lovin

Angel

July 2nd, 2010
1:32 pm

@Lucinda – I hear ya ~ that’s what happens when we don’t get what we need from love.

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
1:34 pm

Ghana I have learned much from prior experience and have spent a lot of time thinking about what i did –and didn’t do –that contributed to situations.

btw, if a woman told you how she felt and you weren’t in the same space, wouldn’t that make you RUN for cover??

lurker_1

July 2nd, 2010
1:34 pm

I think yall have been pimped by Luc. I think most ladies will only express this degree of ecstasy with her best girl friends.

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
1:36 pm

nah Lurker, im just feeling a little out of control. not my normal state.

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
1:36 pm

nobody wants to feel like a fool in love.

@Angel!

see,thats ego..and ego is the reason why some cuties are here on the blog and never married but they say they want to and yet some not so cuties,their peers are married…..

if u luv somebody,let them know and be vulnerable….if somebody is gon take advantage coz u expressed luv,they are a jerk.

A jerk is not a reflection of U but of them.

If u wait for the day when ur expression of luv is gon to happen the same day he expresses his for u..u be waiting till Jesus does his second coming!

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
1:40 pm

Ghana – you don’t always say stuff of substance (LOL) you last post was on point. Either you feel a way about someone or you don’t. It shouldn’t be contigent upon how they feel. For the most part, no two people are going to be on the exact same page at the exact same time.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

July 2nd, 2010
1:43 pm

Lucinda – Thats what I meant by one great night.. Ya’ll have been dancing around the mulberry bush then one night you let him catch you and you see rockets, moons and stars.. its a wrap..

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
1:43 pm

btw, if a woman told you how she felt and you weren’t in the same space, wouldn’t that make you RUN for cover??

@Lucinda??

the only time that expression is not welcome is when its too soon,and usually soon after meeting and going on 2/3 dates and she BAM gives me that.

If its 3/4/5/6 months in and we been tgether and inseperable and vibing…I am not running coz i been with her all along.

Obviuosly its not a good look just expressing those luv feelings when the work on the ground is not there. Spend a whole lot of quality time with him first..seeing his commitment to u and ur time..theeeeeen when u se that hes proly not seeing anybody else coz of time factor…..u are assured of telling him that without getting negative feedback.

u follow me??

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

July 2nd, 2010
1:44 pm

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
1:48 pm

@lurker_1??

u seeing anybody right now??

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
1:49 pm

you folks still here? let’s just all call it a day…i’d say in about 40 minutes or so.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

July 2nd, 2010
1:52 pm

LU – This too..

Like…how amazing…how amazing…
When you would spread my limbs cross continents
Bump our bed way over mountains.
Kiss this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and that.
Show each other where the climax is at.

You just running cross my mind

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
1:52 pm

@Lucinda ~ I see you smiling over here. I too will be there one day. New love is so sweet! You remind me of czB and her man…they are definitely on the same page.

@lurker_1 ~ LU didn’t reveal anything much. She’s talking to a bunch of strangers. Very easy to say things when no one knows who you are!

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
1:56 pm

@InfamousD ~ I am asking you politely to stop w/those lyrics…they are doing something to me.

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
1:59 pm

the thing is, didn’t let him hit it for the longest time… but then… man got serious skillz

lurker_1 – I say the same thing about my guy too! So it’s definite can be genuine. Nothing wrong with being open! :D

Luvbug

July 2nd, 2010
2:04 pm

Ghana (Melo?! )

I thought I understood at least 10% of you, but now it’s down to 1%. I can’t imagine you being vulnerable despite the odds. You’re that way?

Beautiful

July 2nd, 2010
2:05 pm

no ego here! and my dude is 5′8 LOL. i’m so out of the box when it comes to him. and i love it. he loves it. if we happen to not work out, no regrets.

happy friday! full w/e for me. be safe ev1.

Lucinda

July 2nd, 2010
2:15 pm

Jetting out now, thanks all for good wishes, thoughts, suggestions, etc.

Life is quite a ride, I’m on it for all the twists and turns and thrills and chills.

and I still think i am falling hard for this man. sigh :) :) :)

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
2:16 pm

I can’t imagine you being vulnerable despite the odds. You’re that way?

Luvbug??

first of long time no see..was missing you! …….so vulnerability there is on me!

I cant continue to be vulnerable tho….at some point i got go back to my shell..so if i show u one time and u dont respond favorably..what a man gotta do??

:???:

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
2:18 pm

I need a nap….that’s what I get for staying up until 2 this morn.

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
2:20 pm

Jilly from Philly is on point.

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
2:21 pm

YOU GOT ME

You penetrated my world with a smile
Caught me with no defenses around
I felt you feeling me
I let you feel me feeling you
The chemistry so amazing

Could’ve thought it was voodoo
Spellbound…defenses down…lustful mounds

Anxiously longing to be near you
Anticipating your next move
So entranced by your stare
Too timid to return your glare
Your touch so paralyzing, I think I’m running out of air
It’s too much…feel my clutch…about to erupt

Wanting to explode with you
Shattering everything I thought I knew
Desiring you to let me inside your mind
Just to get closer to your soul
So passionate and blazing
To steal my heart is not your goal
Falling deeper…falling hard…back on guard!

Luvbug

July 2nd, 2010
2:23 pm

If I understand you correctly…you were missing me? Awww that’s sweet. I’m trying to get a handle on a few projects in and outside of work, so I’m not able to post as often nowadays.

So, you broke the news (I love you Queeny!!) to Queen first?

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
2:28 pm

Obviously,its even better if u feeling the man and u letting him know and he goes two(2) steps further with his So so Big Ego that he knocks and scraps every lil crevice and gnawing itch in ur luv canal.!

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
2:31 pm

@Luvbug??
you were missing me?

YES!

So, you broke the news (I love you Queeny!!) to Queen first?

Nope……she did first!

I be honest, I dont break down easily unless the carrot is in sight! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Luvbug

July 2nd, 2010
2:32 pm

I knew it!! 10% it is. LOL

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
2:46 pm

Luvbug what’s the deal lady?

Purple Rain

July 2nd, 2010
2:46 pm

Yes, we have had sex twice today. LOL What’s the topic :)

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
2:48 pm

LOL Purple Pleasure….looks like the Mrs. is on the up and up today. I hear prego puddy is the best…sort of like humping a pile of wet charmin tissue lol

Luvbug

July 2nd, 2010
2:49 pm

Nothing much…treading water these days. What’s good with you Mr. Dreams? Big plans for the holiday weekend?

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
2:51 pm

@SlimOne ~ The mention of Charmin toilet paper is off limits. I even ask my friends not to buy Charmin toilet paper (LOLOL).

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
2:51 pm

@PR ~ you’re off duty until tomorrow!

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
2:52 pm

Yes, we have had sex twice today. LOL What’s the topic
PR that’s the cost of doing business. lol As for the topic: what are the risks of being the first to tell someone how you feel?

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
2:53 pm

Leggs – So you’re putting a squeeze on the Charmin….why, did you have a bad charmin experience? lol DO TELL

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
2:54 pm

(My personal preference is Quilted Northern)