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Dating: Ego Handling

When you are single and available, there are times when you just have to go through a dry spell.  This is when you have no prospects whatsoever.  Not even the church mothers who are trying to play matchmaker are circling around you!  Don’t panic! It’s perfectly normal and happens to everyone.

Perhaps the worst time to endure a dry spell is right after a break up or some disappointment.  You are eager to prove that you aren’t undateable and your ego needs a quick fix.  I believe I have said it before but our egos are a big problem when it comes to dating.  I mean, not only handling the egos of other people, but our own egos get in the way.

What usually happens is we get a reality check along the way.  Someone we really like doesn’t call us back or isn’t interested in us.  Having a healthy dose of confidence is never a bad thing but humility is important!

One way we can better  manage our egos in dating is going the extra distance for someone.  I know it can be tough taking a risk, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal.  If you find a person you feel drawn to, what difference does it make if you put in a little more effort?  It could pay off and that could be what makes you stand out.

I believe ladies (ok, I really mean ME) have the biggest problem with getting their egos in check.  It is part defense mechanism and part feeling entitled to be pursued all the time.  At any rate, it would be worth it to find ways to show a guy that you think he is special too.

What do you think single people could do to handle their egos better?

I recently told a friend of mine she needed to check her ego and date a shorter man.  She can keep all her fabulous heels and be really happy with a great guy if she dropped her ego and gave it a shot.  Do you think single people should check their ego when it comes to their dating prospects too?

298 comments Add your comment

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
10:21 am

Use of the word “frisky” immediately dates you. lol Young people don’t get “frisky”. We get alot of other things, but not “frisky”.

Wise Diva

July 2nd, 2010
10:24 am

oh! Forgot to offer/say if any of you have some blog topics you would like to see explored, shoot me an email. Especially those of you who are bored or think there is staleness! LOL wise.diva@gmail.com, I don’t take it personally at all, would love some new topics (to you) and voices. Almost done gathering the panel information as well. Appreciate your patience, trying to mix things up!

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:24 am

Not worried about my age Dreams.

Wise Diva

July 2nd, 2010
10:26 am

and I suppose the blog will be closed on Monday. I will leave the comments open in case some of you are stuck in the office though. Fresh blog will go up on Tuesday, I should be back in Atlanta sometime that day :)

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
10:26 am

@its me….lurker ~ stop it.

Gone and go ‘head girl, he’s tryna holla

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
10:26 am

Wise Diva

July 2nd, 2010
10:27 am

LOL @ Dreams, I dig “frisky” and I have a list of old school terms that need a comeback! Like “the bees knees” and “cool like dat” LOL

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:31 am

Guess you haven’t read me on here much. I don’t slow dance, I prefer to fast dancing, rump shaking, booty club music. I kid, I kid. I like to dance to fast music. I slowed dance a few weeks ago, but that didn’t really count because I was pretty much dancing with the air!

LOL @ use of the word frisky. Good point. Note to self: remove frisky from vocab!

@Jacobite47 ~ what song would you like to dance to?

CoolShadow

July 2nd, 2010
10:32 am

Nothing’s wrong with having a dating ego but you also have to add realism to the mix. If you only want to date people using extremely strict, near unrealistic standards that’s cool but good luck with that. And if you’re having difficulty finding people to meet your criteria then maybe you’re the issue and not so much the dearth of people who can meet your standards.

One way we can better manage our egos in dating is going the extra distance for someone. I know it can be tough taking a risk, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

Wise Diva, how do you define “going the extra distance”? That can be difficult to ask when you can’t even get some people to conduct themselves properly within the basic protocol of dating.

Wise Diva

July 2nd, 2010
10:34 am

Cool shadow, I was referring to, calling more than you normally do and kicking up the interest level behavior to match your ACTUAL interest level, without trying to come off as “hard” or aloof, as not to appear too thirsty. We worry about that too much I think, ok well I do LOL

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:36 am

@Jacobite47 – care to share your email address? I’m flattered you want to dance with me!

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
10:38 am

LOL @ Dreams, I dig “frisky” and I have a list of old school terms that need a comeback! Like “the bees knees” and “cool like dat”
Wise “frisky” isn’t in the same age range league as “cool like dat”. “frisky” is up there with “whoa nelly”. lol

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:38 am

@WD ~ I like the phrase “bees knees” and someone thinking they’re
“the cat’s meow”

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:39 am

OMG, Whoa Nelly! I am literally choking over here!

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
10:39 am

Wld u ladies,typically call up a guy “friend” or aquaintace and ask them if they wanna go out with u coz u dont wanna go out alone??

Esp when u are in that “dry spell” mode and u dont have a boy friend??

do u have guys like that u could kick it with in a flirty platonic kinda of way??

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:40 am

@GHANA ~ yep!

Dan - simply...

July 2nd, 2010
10:40 am

@WD

If someone else would call your behavior “thirsty”, that just means that they’re not right for you.

Self-censorship is deception.

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:42 am

Always a Friend or Castanets by Alejandro Escovedo Fast
Moondance by Van Morrison Slow

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:42 am

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
10:43 am

Always a Friend or Castanets by Alejandro Escovedo Fast
Moondance by Van Morrison Slow

Alright now Leggs, he’s coming hard

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:43 am

Oh Boy!

Ok, escort me to the dance floor!

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
10:45 am

@Leggs!

I wld highly recommend this Jacob cat coz from the word go this morning,seems the bro had some research on u..which is a good look….

there was no phishing on his part,no broadcasting to see which thirsty heiffer might bite..none of that…came up and str8 up said “Leggs!, I pick you”"

Thats impressive!

I know its a long holiday,u got my number,if u running low on lil blue,i got a pharma friend on tap! :lol: :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
10:45 am

LOL @ use of the word frisky. Good point. Note to self: remove frisky from vocab!

Hey, if you’re old, own it. :lol: We youngers ain’t got nothing on the fabulous and 50s!

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:46 am

It’s me….lurker ~ yes he is!

@Jacobite47 ~ thank you. You got mail!

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
10:47 am

Wld u ladies,typically call up a guy “friend” or aquaintace and ask them if they wanna go out with u coz u dont wanna go out alone??

No.

I have plenty of girlfriends, but I also don’t mind rolling solo.

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:48 am

Let’s dance Leggs

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
10:48 am

I wld highly recommend this Jacob cat coz from the word go this morning,seems the bro had some research on u..which is a good look….

Yep, I was thinking the same thing. He’s been lurking

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:49 am

@GHANA ~ I thought the same.

@ARed ~ Shet it up…not old, just seasoned! :lol: :lol:

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:50 am

@GHANA ~ for the record, there aren’t any thirsty heifers in Blogsville!

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
10:50 am

@ARed ~ Shet it up…not old, just seasoned!

:lol: Yeah, so seasoned that if you were scotch, you’d be the expensive kind!

Sassy Me...feelin some type of waaay :-)

July 2nd, 2010
10:52 am

HAPPY FRIDAY BLOG FAMILIA!!!!!!! :mrgreen: :lol:

I’ll be off on Monday,too….ain’t it lovely?!

“frisky” is up there with “whoa nelly”. lol

Okay well let’s add the “Watch out there nah

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 2nd, 2010
10:54 am

…stopping in for a minute.

Slim, Trevor, Melo, Lady, DreamsM and my main man MR.LURKER how are you guys doing?

@Wise I will try to send you something next week to keep you from going green…LOL

@Leggs I see you pulled one of the lurkers. Put on your red dress, and step in those high heels and let us know if Mr. 62 can keep up with you on the town. :wink:

Sassy Me...feelin some type of waaay :-)

July 2nd, 2010
10:55 am

as not to appear too thirsty. We worry about that too much I think, ok well I do

Me,too Wise…me,too. It’s a very fine line to walk and not always easy…sometimes things get so misconstrued.

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
10:55 am

Hmph. Hello to you too Professor!

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
10:57 am

ohhhhhh ARed said you would be a glass of Macallan Lalique.

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 2nd, 2010
10:58 am

@GHANA

do u have guys like that u could kick it with in a flirty platonic kinda of way??

NO, however I do have two professional male friends that I go out with to career related functions. These dudes are well groomed, highly educated and know how to play the game. It is a favor we do for each other. I go to their Christmas parties at work and vice versa. One I believe is a Ms. Man I’ve known him for 12 years and he has never had a date or spoke of a woman during that time. When asked he always say women are crazy and he is getting it together he has a 745, nice home, great job, PhD etc., and he talks about this guy all the time.

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
10:59 am

Speaking of removing certain outdated terms from vocab…does that mean I should stop saying BOO-YAH!? lol

mytw♥cents

July 2nd, 2010
10:59 am

Well, hello there ~ hope everyone’s life is lovely…

I’m thinkin’ people often confuse self esteem with having too big of an ego. I focus on the positive in me and others, but we’re all flawed in some way. No need to to think you’re too good to work wiith someone who’s working on being with you. I mean if you’ve already given them the opening, might as well not hinder the progress.

Wisey 1. Now would you take the same advice you’ve given your friend? Or if the height factor hasn’t been a stopping point, is there something else your team has convinced yout to reconsider? 2. I ain’t foolin’ with you and those topics no mo’. I sent you some 9 months ago that you said you liked…. but I’ve noticed you’ve really tried to get us to a PG rating and I think that somewhat hinders the more adult topics cuz some of us misbehave so easily… I guess.

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 2nd, 2010
11:00 am

~~~~~waving at the strong and mighty ARed~~~~~

I am going to need you to hold it down today I am headed out in a few.

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
11:03 am

Professor –

I’ll do my best! I’m in the streets early afternoon myself. (if laziness doesn’t get the best of me. :lol: )

mytw♥cents

July 2nd, 2010
11:03 am

thirsty heifers? :) gotta luv it…

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 2nd, 2010
11:05 am

I am waiting on my sisters to pick me up we are doing a little shopping today.

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
11:07 am

@ARed ~ too funny.

@Professor ~ I have a better dress to put on for him!

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 2nd, 2010
11:08 am

@AmazonRed…..I bet you have a big head and a big puddy to go with dat BIG EGO….. By the way have that found your former college sweetheart I hear he’s been lost for years….YES…Me lickey that you like to go out solo, because LURKER is ready to buy you some drinks! Right Now! YESSS
:wink: :smile:

@Jacob47….let me warn you, Sexy Leggs is a marathon runner and you need that kind of stamina to keep up with (if you know what I mean) The ATL does not have great cardiac surgeons…You have been warned…YES :lol:

Sassy Me...feelin some type of waaay :-)

July 2nd, 2010
11:09 am

Professor I’m headed out in the street myself in about 15 mins. Gotta find something to kill em softly with on Sunday. AmRed, you can do it :lol:

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
11:09 am

One I believe is a Ms. Man

speaking of Ms Mens..did u guys sniff at the news this morning in the wires about GOP’s Lindsey Graham being a Ms Man?

and its his own pple..the Tea Party who are getting at him for that.

I wld have said No but for my surprsie that bro_she man is 54,not married and neva been married.

What i wanna know is who is he dating or has ever dated??

Luv those GOP undercovers…..

where there is smoke,there is fire!

Sassy Me...feelin some type of waaay :-)

July 2nd, 2010
11:11 am

I have a better dress to put on for him!

Oooh don’t hurt ‘em Leggs

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
11:11 am

marathon runner………….. The ATL does not have great cardiac surgeons

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Thats funny Mr Lurker!!

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
11:11 am

@Prof ~ I am desparately seeking a nice brown blouse…if you see one pick it for me please and I’ll pay you, size M (LOL)…thanks!

CoolShadow

July 2nd, 2010
11:11 am

Cool shadow, I was referring to, calling more than you normally do and kicking up the interest level behavior to match your ACTUAL interest level, without trying to come off as “hard” or aloof, as not to appear too thirsty.

Ok, gotcha. That might be hard to do because you probably won’t initially have an idea of the other person’s perception of aloofness or thirstiness.