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Dating: Ego Handling

When you are single and available, there are times when you just have to go through a dry spell.  This is when you have no prospects whatsoever.  Not even the church mothers who are trying to play matchmaker are circling around you!  Don’t panic! It’s perfectly normal and happens to everyone.

Perhaps the worst time to endure a dry spell is right after a break up or some disappointment.  You are eager to prove that you aren’t undateable and your ego needs a quick fix.  I believe I have said it before but our egos are a big problem when it comes to dating.  I mean, not only handling the egos of other people, but our own egos get in the way.

What usually happens is we get a reality check along the way.  Someone we really like doesn’t call us back or isn’t interested in us.  Having a healthy dose of confidence is never a bad thing but humility is important!

One way we can better  manage our egos in dating is going the extra distance for someone.  I know it can be tough taking a risk, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal.  If you find a person you feel drawn to, what difference does it make if you put in a little more effort?  It could pay off and that could be what makes you stand out.

I believe ladies (ok, I really mean ME) have the biggest problem with getting their egos in check.  It is part defense mechanism and part feeling entitled to be pursued all the time.  At any rate, it would be worth it to find ways to show a guy that you think he is special too.

What do you think single people could do to handle their egos better?

I recently told a friend of mine she needed to check her ego and date a shorter man.  She can keep all her fabulous heels and be really happy with a great guy if she dropped her ego and gave it a shot.  Do you think single people should check their ego when it comes to their dating prospects too?

298 comments Add your comment

Wise Diva

July 2nd, 2010
8:36 am

Good morning everyone!
Happy FRIDAY! Will any of you be working next Monday?

Professor aka Dirty Diana

July 2nd, 2010
8:43 am

Diva, I am off next Monday.

Hola!

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
8:50 am

Good Morning Professor & Wise.

Slim will be off Monday and hopefully enjoying another day of Chocolate. ;-)

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
8:56 am

Morning
Periodically we need to check ourselves and re-evaluate what’s important to us. However, I never try to convince someone that I’m right for them. If you only date 6′5″ and up (even though you’re only 4′11″), then I won’t try to convince you otherwise. Go for what you know. Otherwise, you’ll just end up feeling like you settled, and that never ends well.

Wise
I’m off Monday.

Prof what’s good?

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
8:58 am

Hey Slimmy. You know I couldn’t forget my lefy-lovin queen. ;-)

Trevor0529

July 2nd, 2010
8:58 am

Good Morning Professor, SlimOne & Wise Diva,

I will be off on Monday resting from the Peachtree.
:)

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
8:58 am

lefty-lovin lol

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 2nd, 2010
9:02 am

Happy freaky fourth of July! :lol:

@Slimone…..Part 15 of geting you chocalate fix, dude done turn out the superfreak! YES :wink:

@Dirty D……I thought you were going to be out of town until Tuesday, you mean I get to ask you more about you and DreamsM new relationship? Don’t let DreamsM know I am going to take you out for dinner in 2 weeks……..YES

Yes your ego must be put in check, once you finished dating or ending a relationship, it’s time to put that energy in healing thyself mentally and spiritually so you can be prepared to enjoy dating again. A luker Nugget! YESSSS

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:11 am

Dreaming of a lefty world – I was starting to feel a bit left out. (no pun intended) Glad you came back for me. ;-)

LURKER – you getting on me wayyy early in the morn huh? Nope, not turned out. Sometimes I just like to admire the chocolate…not actually eat it. ;-)

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
9:12 am

Good morning, everyone.

I remember when I went to a party a few months back, this man asked my gf about me the next day. He gave her his number to give to me. I called, we chatted for a while and briefly text each ohter (about a week). He said he wanted to get to know me better and perhaps we can go out sometime. Sound good to me. He was an interesting person. Unfortunately, that’s all I got. I sat back and wondered what went wrong. Came up with the fact that he just wasn’t interested. NEXT….

WD, I too am off Monday! WOO HOO, WOO HOO.

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:15 am

Morning Trev – noticed your moniker and 05/29 is my dads bday. :-)

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 2nd, 2010
9:26 am

LURKER – you getting on me wayyy early in the morn huh? Nope, not turned out. Sometimes I just like to admire the chocolate…not actually eat it.

@Slimone….It’s o.k., we all know usafreak, I have mad admiration for ya because I know you going to get you freak on and on and on and on! YESSS :lol: Do it lefty and make sure you do it good! :wink:

@Leggs….You time is coming, since you are a puma you might as well go the youngin route. These old dudes cannot keep up with you fine azz. Keep them to the curb and come and get some of this young MW…..Can you dig it!!!!!!!!!! :smile:

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:29 am

‘we all know usafreak’

LURKER – i’m not a freak, I just come a lot. :lol:

Dan - simply...

July 2nd, 2010
9:29 am

As one known for having an ego, I know when to check it and when not to.

I’ve been humbled in life enough to know my limitations in a lot of areas, but I keep pushing those too.

Thing about “the ego” (as is used in this context) as an unrealistic expectation or identity that is created more as a defense than as a healthy view of oneself (and ones limitations). People like that have more growth/life to experience before they can come to terms and accept themselves as is.

And that’s a process that has to play itself out in their lives, preferably without the K.I.D.

Good morning.

Oh and Slim, keep my bidness outta the skreet, what happens in the Dec, stay in the Dec; or no mo’ hot chocolate for you.

Luvbug

July 2nd, 2010
9:30 am

Okay, so I get home a little early yesterday, flipped on the TV and what do I see?! Some dude named M-Dot (up and coming rapper) and his mama on Maury. I just got two questions.

M.DOT, was that you??

Are you Jasmine’s baby Daddy??

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
9:32 am

Morning all –

Well, my ego is what keeps me from dating just anyone just so I can say I’m dating.

My ego is what keeps me from having “ex sex”

My ego is what keeps me from having one night stands.

My ego doesn’t keep men from being interested in me.

I think I’ll keep it around for a while! :lol:

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
9:35 am

I recently told a friend of mine she needed to check her ego and date a shorter man.

WiseDiva – How tall is this friend?

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:38 am

‘Oh and Slim, keep my bidness outta the skreet,’

@Dan da Man: I’m LOL’ing at that free plug you just did for yourself. You know I never actually mentioned who Chocolate Boy was…now that cat is out of the bag. :shock:

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
9:39 am

@LURKER ~ I can definitely dig it!

“…i’m not a freak, I just come a lot.” Immediately thought of Rick James….SlimOne, you are certifiably too cool!

Trevor0529

July 2nd, 2010
9:41 am

@Slim,

A very happy belated birthday to your dad born on May 29 like myself.
:)

Its cool to be Gemini, but a left handed Gemini makes you stand out above the crowd!! YESSSS!!
:lol:

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
9:43 am

@Leggs I’m new here, but forget what Lurker said there are older guys out there who can keep up.

Not sure where I left my ego.

Off Monday.

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:43 am

Random thought: You ever notice how much more thirsty you seem to be when you realize you left your bottled water in the freezer too dayum long? Goose & Hypnotiq shole makes me thirsty the next day.

abc

July 2nd, 2010
9:44 am

In this context, ‘ego’ is about self-image and self-esteem. I don’t see how that reflects on personal preferences like height or other matters of appearance; it’s just preference.

Not everyone is going to feel the same about you as you do about them. It goes both ways: some will like you, but you won’t be interested in them. It’s just a fact of life. If it bruises your ego, you might be a little too sensitive about it — or, if you assume everyone should think you’re all that, maybe you have an ego problem.

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
9:44 am

One way we can better manage our egos in dating is going the extra distance for someone. I know it can be tough taking a risk, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal. If you find a person you feel drawn to, what difference does it make if you put in a little more effort?

My ego doesn’t prevent me from doing this. Having an ego doesn’t mean that I don’t pull my weight.

Dan - simply...

July 2nd, 2010
9:45 am

Speaking of ‘free’ and ‘plug’ what time you get off [work] Slim?

Chink

July 2nd, 2010
9:46 am

Morning

I think I have a healthy dose of ego if I didn’t I would be insecure. I am old enough now to keep it in check when I was younger that ego got me in a little trouble :)

Chink

July 2nd, 2010
9:48 am

abc I agree with you.

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
9:49 am

@Jacobite47 ~ pretty sure there are. Are you one of them? Welcome to Blogsville. Is 47 your age?

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:49 am

Trevor0529 – Yea Gemini’s are something else…I should know because I am one lol (mine is June 1st)

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:52 am

Dan – for some reason that question seems like a trap door hidden in the woods by pine straw. lol Leaving this camp around 3ish to go get my hair done. Then gotta get up early as hayo for the drive to NC for my cousins wedding.

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
9:52 am

Dan – oh, and How big did you say your ‘ego’ was again? :mrgreen: :lol:

Angel

July 2nd, 2010
9:56 am

GHANA

July 2nd, 2010
9:59 am

Good morning folks!

@Slim..oh, and How big did you say your ‘ego’ was again?

That is never a good qstion to ask a dude coz the qstion implies(assumes) u prefer Big egos,suggesting ur mine is stretched due Bigger rigs that have been in there over time.

Not a good informercial! :mrgreen:

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
9:59 am

I see it’s freaky Friday already

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:01 am

Birth yr, I’m a young 62. And yes Leggs I’m one of them.

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
10:03 am

GHANA – If I knew that’s all it was going to take to get you to surface, I would’ve mentioned Egos much earlier. lol How do you know I wasn’t asking the question due to this ride having a ‘height maximum’? lololol

Dan - simply...

July 2nd, 2010
10:03 am

@Ghana

It’s okay, even if my ego can’t handle it, my lung capacity could…

Riccoooola

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
10:03 am

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
10:04 am

Oh my…62 is almost 70

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
10:05 am

Everyone has an ego. The question is how and to what extent your ego affects your dating and relationships.

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:05 am

62, I hear you. Are you a salt and pepper man or do you use Grecian Formula 44? I see you’re feeling a bit frisky this morning.

“bigger rigs” ~ Melo, you are so dang colorful.

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:06 am

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:08 am

Grey/bald Frisky all the time.

AmazonRed™ - I love my big ego...

July 2nd, 2010
10:08 am

Oh my…62 is almost 70

:lol: Really now? :lol:

It's me....lurker

July 2nd, 2010
10:10 am

SlimOne

July 2nd, 2010
10:11 am

Ghana – and for the record, no 18 wheelers allowed beyond this point ((((}.{))))) ;-)

DreamsMaterialize

July 2nd, 2010
10:15 am

Oh my…62 is almost 70
Man I wish this logic would have worked on Moms as a kid.

Moms: Heck no you can’t go to the club Dreams. You’re only 12.

Dreams: But moms 12 is almost 20!

lol

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:16 am

@its me….lurker ~ stop it. :lol:

You definitely sound frisky….do you dance?

Leggs

July 2nd, 2010
10:17 am

Whew, you guys are crazy.

Jacobite47

July 2nd, 2010
10:21 am

Slow dancing is the best Leggs, want to?