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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Relationship 101: Building trust

I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately.  We may think we want one (at least I do!) but we forget how much work is involved in building a good relationship that actually lasts beyond the “caught up in the haze of love” phase.

After the novelty of a new relationship wears off, the two of you are left with the business of finding out what makes one another tick.  You get to see your significant other deal with different situations  and circumstances, which in turn, reveals a lot about their character.

What surprises me most about being in a relationship is the amount of work it takes to get a guy to open up emotionally.  Sometimes it takes men a long time to trust, especially if he is unsure of how he feels about her.  Is that the case for women? I think it is.  I don’t fully disclose everything to men I date casually.  It takes me quite a while to connect and actually feel safe with a man.

When do you feel as if you can trust someone that you are dating?  At what point do you think they can handle the heavy stuff?

Is there a way for a woman to build trust with a man so that he knows she is reliable and trustworthy?  Can men do things to prove to women that they can be trusted?

Is there

405 comments Add your comment

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:04 pm

@White man’s wife??

If u black and married white and u did that for the right reasons(luv) u did the right thing.

There arent many tho like u..thats all im saying…and im entitled to my opinion

U wld be one of the exceptions….

If i hurt u, I am sorry! and didnt mean to.

Dig That

July 1st, 2010
4:05 pm

“Why do you label yourself as white man’s wife”

@Professor- Stay out of my head

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:06 pm

@LURKER ~ I can help the right brother out, not the “right now” brother!

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 1st, 2010
4:09 pm

Enter your comments here

white man's wife

July 1st, 2010
4:09 pm

i am a black woman that is married to a white man and i find it sad that a man who i assume is black with a name like ghana cannot think better of his own kind. i did become offended by his statement because it is not true for all black women that marry white. reading his comments make me believe he feels that white is better than he. to me white is not better and black is not worse because i see people for who they are.

Dig That

July 1st, 2010
4:10 pm

I believe I use to have skewed thinking about race and relationships, but now I have truly come to realize throughout travels of life that love can transcend color.

white man's wife

July 1st, 2010
4:12 pm

i am not proud to be married to white man that’s just stupid. i am proud to be married to a man that has proven to be a good man but not because he is white. i commented using white man’s wife because i am a black woman and want him to know that i feel his sayings are off base.

Dig That

July 1st, 2010
4:12 pm

@white man’s wife- May I ask what attracted you to your husband?

Professor

July 1st, 2010
4:14 pm

Leggs I got what she was trying to say, but I’ve never heard of all that pride and accolades because you ride a white horse.

Peace! y’all be easy.

Ghana hold it down.

MR LURKER I will chat with you on Tuesday.

out!

white man's wife

July 1st, 2010
4:15 pm

ghana i am not hurt but yes i did find your statement to be offensive. what if i started making generalizations about black men based on the few out of millions that i have met? i would be wrong to do that and would never do that.

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:15 pm

reading his comments make me believe he feels that white is better than he

@white man’s wife??

why do u put what u “”feel”" in there and not what u read.

luv who u luv coz u love them…..race has nothing to do with it

but black folk/women who do, do it for money mostly…not all but most!

How?? for the life of me that statement labels every black woman, i dont understand it.

I am not responsible for ur guilty conscience!

If u dont have any guilt,so whats the problem??

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:16 pm

Dig that, that is growth.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:18 pm

@white man’s wife…came out wrong, “proud to be married to a man not because he’s white. That was my mindset but didn’t type it that way. I apologize, didn’t mean to offend you.

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:19 pm

@White man wife

i wld not be offended by any generalizations of black men by u….i wld argue my case with u.

using emotions is a weak way to argue a case and an attempt to use other options and not LOGIC to win the argument

its like a woman giving bootey to try get a job!

white man's wife

July 1st, 2010
4:19 pm

we were on the same team when we worked together and over the years we grew to like each other. he was one of the nicest men on our team and i liked that about him.

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 1st, 2010
4:19 pm

@Professor I will be in the mountains next week returning on Friday. Professor don’t make me come after ya! :lol: I am ready to bring you an apple for ????

@Leggs…..If it’s good to me I can be Mr. Right! YESSS I need to sample first to see if you still go it! :lol:

Beautiful

July 1st, 2010
4:20 pm

*When do you feel as if you can trust someone that you are dating?*

the first thing i did was look at the company he keeps. *thumbs up!* that was the only thing i needed to place everything on the table . . . all of me. *shuddup Melo!!!* i believe one has nothing to lose. my gut also helped me with trusting him immediately. it felt good and comfortable. he made me feel good about being open and honest as well. he has a bad habit of throwing what i say back in my face, but it is what it is. i said it and i have to take the consequences for it.

i will trust you one hunnid until you give me a reason.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:21 pm

Dig That

July 1st, 2010
4:25 pm

@Leggs- I remember about 3 years ago I went to a family reunion and one of my closest cousins had been out of contact with the family for years except for me and when he came in he came with this white girl and seemed like everybody stopped talking and music stopped. LMAO!!!! Nothing but stares but I took her in the back and made her feel comfortable and out of all the trifling women he had been with before she was very geniune, pretty and smart. It just seemed like a great match for him and they got married and I just felt so much different about it because when it comes down to it, we have to choose the person that is good to us and good for us.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:27 pm

@Dig That ~ nice you opened your eyes. Some never do. Looking back at all his other women, you realized skin color doesn’t make the person, their heart does and how they treat others! Glad to read you made her comfortable.

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 1st, 2010
4:30 pm

On another note. here is a woman who luvs the brotha’s. Kim Kardashian is spreading the luv to the football players. It pays to play a sport. YEA

@Slimone….Where you at? You let a immature man work that bootey all weekend long, now you are wonding why dude is playing games?
You need to come and lay on my couch so we can talk……I can help you..heheheheh :lol:
YESSSSSSS///////ZIPPPPPPPP

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:36 pm

You sound like a foreigner with all tht YESSSSSSSS at the end of your sentences.

AmazonRed™ - Go Elin!!!

July 1st, 2010
4:43 pm

Busy day today, haven’t kept up…anyone talking about Damon Evans of UGA? Nice guy…smells like a real scandal. :-(

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:46 pm

@Ared??

DUI..is real easy unless u are diligent on taking a couple glasses of water after a nite club sojourn be4 u drive home.

Ive driven home a lil tipsy myself

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:48 pm

ohh lawd..and a white chic to boot!

DreamsMaterialize

July 1st, 2010
4:48 pm

Hey Everyone
Yeah I know I’m late. Man everything gets discussed on the blog. Trust, sports, divorce, racial unions…and that’s just today.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:48 pm

@GHANA ~ a lot of people who drink has made it home by the hair on their chinny chin chins one time or another!

AmazonRed™ - Go Elin!!!

July 1st, 2010
4:49 pm

Yeah, I’m more concerned about this passenger and why that person went to jail too! This is what started the Steve McNair scandal!

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:50 pm

@ARed ~ he passed the breathalyzer but the officer thought it malfunctioned. All I saw when I read that was the officer punching that young girl in the face! They don’t care.

AmazonRed™ - Go Elin!!!

July 1st, 2010
4:51 pm

I know a DUI can happen to anyone, but it’s bad when the person is responsible for overseeing hundreds of student-athletes and gives a “don’t drink and drive”message before each game with a zero tolerance policy.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:52 pm

It’s even worse when he’s being ticketed for a DUI and he wasn’t drunk!

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:53 pm

is he married..hope hes not

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:53 pm

Sorry, not drunk, but under the legal requirements.

AmazonRed™ - Go Elin!!!

July 1st, 2010
4:53 pm

Leggs – The story I read said he refused the breathalizer.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:54 pm

The story I read said he passed it.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:55 pm

The article in the paper this morning said he passed the test but the officer didn’t believe the results!

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:56 pm

I drink lots of water be4 deciding to go home and wait 30 or so minutes to shake off the gin .. and in the car, I keep those windows all the way down for fresh air.

AmazonRed™ - Go Elin!!!

July 1st, 2010
4:57 pm

melo – Yes he is married.

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:57 pm

u talking about 2 dufferent stories Ared and Leggs..

leggs u talking abpout the Bannister case

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
4:57 pm

hes married…to a black woman….

Game over with that white whrre in his car

game over

Lurks

July 1st, 2010
4:58 pm

On another note. here is a woman who luvs the brotha’s. Kim Kardashian is spreading the luv to the football players. It pays to play a sport. YEA

She’s a bonifide HO. No quams about it. Nasty Nasty Nasty

AmazonRed™ - Go Elin!!!

July 1st, 2010
4:59 pm

melo – I am hoping there was no other woman in that car, black or white! Dang it…

Lurks

July 1st, 2010
4:59 pm

Trash would be a compliment for those Kardashian girls and their mom

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
4:59 pm

“True discovery consists not in finding new landscapes, but in seeing the same landscape with new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust {{dedicated to DigThat 4:10 and 4:25}}

Loving me, loving you! Enjoy your evening! Nite.

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
5:00 pm

good nite folks!

damn Evans..

500k?

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
5:01 pm

@GHANA ~ thanks…I see that now.

AmazonRed™ - Go Elin!!!

July 1st, 2010
5:01 pm

$550,000 a year melo. That just kicked in today! I guess he was celebrating that… :shock:

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
5:04 pm

@ARed ~ If he’s been preaching don’t drink and drive to his players, a married man, gets busted drinking and driving, with a woman in his car that’s not his wife, his credibility is shot. He may not recover from this one???

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
5:05 pm

And, his mugshot speaks volumes!

DreamsMaterialize

July 1st, 2010
5:08 pm

Good Night Everyone