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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Relationship 101: Building trust

I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately.  We may think we want one (at least I do!) but we forget how much work is involved in building a good relationship that actually lasts beyond the “caught up in the haze of love” phase.

After the novelty of a new relationship wears off, the two of you are left with the business of finding out what makes one another tick.  You get to see your significant other deal with different situations  and circumstances, which in turn, reveals a lot about their character.

What surprises me most about being in a relationship is the amount of work it takes to get a guy to open up emotionally.  Sometimes it takes men a long time to trust, especially if he is unsure of how he feels about her.  Is that the case for women? I think it is.  I don’t fully disclose everything to men I date casually.  It takes me quite a while to connect and actually feel safe with a man.

When do you feel as if you can trust someone that you are dating?  At what point do you think they can handle the heavy stuff?

Is there a way for a woman to build trust with a man so that he knows she is reliable and trustworthy?  Can men do things to prove to women that they can be trusted?

Is there

405 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)

July 1st, 2010
12:24 pm

Gotta go run my 3 miles….lawd help me. Read y’all in a bit…if I don’t faint..

Professor

July 1st, 2010
12:26 pm

…stepping in.

@Melo :grin: good point We need WD “promoted” upstairs and a new fresh blog admin in her place. (I wldnt want her laid off in this ecnomy)

@MR LURKER why do you insist on giving me away to Dreams? You know it’s all about me and you. I was unaware of how quickly you would give Dirty Diana me away :cry:

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 1st, 2010
12:28 pm

@Slimone….You stated you had 3 days of some dark chocolate this weekend, thus your weariness on Monday. You know your puddy is a large wet marshland. YEAHHHHH :smile:

@Professor you and DreamsM can tell us about your dating adventure! :lol:

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
12:28 pm

Tiger is just paying for coming to the game late..when u grow up sheltered,u dont experience what folks ur age go thru under normal circumstances…and joining the bandwagon when u are in ur 30s will hurt u.

He needs to be real..pay no hush money coz there is nothing hush to hide..God invented sex for man,that aint new.

He is just wasting his money on lawyers and that nanny for no good reason. Trust me,she aint making him diner nor breakfast at home..why is he even letting her live in the same house.

Does she not have self esteem to move away?? Really?? After ur cootie has been relegated to the bench for 6/7 sweet whrress??

Gimme a break!!

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:31 pm

Ghana, Tiger needs his people to call OJ’s people.

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:32 pm

Or Bill Clinton’s People

kimmie

July 1st, 2010
12:35 pm

I never said Elin “deserved” the $750 million. I actually said if I was in a similiar situation, say I was a married Oprah going thru a divorce & was told I had to pay out half my fortune, I would be mad.

Whether she deserves it or not, I don’t really have an opinion on. Instead of asking does she deserve it, I ask Tiger was all that a$$ worth $750 million? If it was, he’s more stupid than I thought.

What really trips me out is when black athletes & entertainers claim they don’t want sisters cause they think we’re too materialistic or loudmouthed or not submissive enough. They look down their nose on us & then turn around and get GOT like Tiger did!

It’s all hillarious and won’t affect my life one way or the other.

Professor

July 1st, 2010
12:36 pm

Actually MR LURKER I am waiting for you to reveal your identity as TheDude and tell us about your PSH adventures. :wink:

Melo that 12:28 is on point. We need to market you. I bet a lot of lurkers are out there nodding their heads to that one.

free2be

July 1st, 2010
12:40 pm

@sassy…you picked a good day to do a midday run. it’s not too hot out there like it has been. have a good run!:)

good afternoon all!

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:42 pm

Aren’t there more black athletes married to black women than there are who aren’t?

Raqi

July 1st, 2010
12:44 pm

What really trips me out is when black athletes & entertainers claim they don’t want sisters cause they think we’re too materialistic

LOL kimmie, and they end up paying half of the material possessions to the none sisters.

blue

July 1st, 2010
12:45 pm

im a mixed-race woman, and wonder if the attitude that black men need to marry black women isnt a just bit racist.

Dig That

July 1st, 2010
12:45 pm

What up erybody!!!!!

“Tiger is just paying for coming to the game late..when u grow up sheltered,u dont experience what folks ur age go thru under normal circumstances…and joining the bandwagon when u are in ur 30s will hurt u.”

@Melo- Mayne you said a mouthful. I’m seeing dudes in that predicament now but to ruin some good things because they are late bloomers.

Elin can’t be getting $750mil. R u kidding me? Ain’t no coochie worth that. She didn’t swing one iron. Oh well.

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:46 pm

I am intrigued, do some athletes say they will not date a black woman for a fact or is it assumed that when they date someone outside of their race that is the mindset? I heard the same argument about Kobe, but his wife is not white nor black.

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:48 pm

blue, I think it is very racist. But that is just me and my thoughts, which I am entitled to. Maybe that needs to be placed in the wedding vows, taken before God or whomever. Love and marry your own race and no others. LOL

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
12:48 pm

PurpleR??

I wld say Bill Clinton’s people coz i dont belive in that murder stuff OJ must have planned. i understand his angst tho for doing it.

Did u see Bill on tele with Terry Mcculafe in South Africa,jest enjoying themslevs during the USA/Ghana game??….

I know Hillary dont make grits for him but i doubt he cares tho.

And they lie about their married life so well..such pretenders!! :lol: :lol: I bet Hillary has no vagina..i got a good instinct on that bet..she so cold! Nice but cold! :lol: :lol:

@Proff

We need to market you

OK..i pay in kind! :lol:

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:49 pm

If Tigers, wife was Black, Asian, etc. He still would have done the same thing and his wife would still be just as hurt and bank will still have taken the hit.

Professor

July 1st, 2010
12:49 pm

@Purple if I can find this email I will send it to you I hope I can find it.

kimmie

July 1st, 2010
12:51 pm

blue – Folks should marry who they want. You love who you love. I have an issue with ANYBODY that gets with another race and proceeds to put down their own.

Purple – I think most are married to sisters but that’s not my point.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
12:51 pm

@PR ~ I just read your posts and you are funny. Your horse left cuz you have no balls, you have to service her 2x a day (what a chore), you’re gaining weight because of the junk food she brings home and doesn’t eat and you’re miserable trying to find chores to do to stay out of her way….this is a hoot!!!

If I’m not mistaken, she’s in her first trimester, and all this is new to her as well. As the months go by, she may either mellow and relax into the pregnancy or you may have to buy some jock straps to protect your balls!!!!

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:52 pm

So, if you have two black parents you should marry black?

Two white parents you should marry white.

Two asians, marry asian..

etc, etc

What about when the parents are not the same? Because if Tiger Woods father would not have married outside of his race we would not have had a Tiger Woods, or for that matter a President Obama.

Leggs

July 1st, 2010
12:53 pm

“What really trips me out is when black athletes & entertainers claim they don’t want sisters cause they think we’re too materialistic” Materialistic, yeah right. Kimora has that corner on lockdown!!!

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
12:54 pm

kimmie, I understand what you are saying now. I am asking what athletes or entertainers have actually put down a certain “race”. I would like to know because I would not like to support them financially anymore.

Leggs, pray for me. LOL

blue

July 1st, 2010
12:55 pm

PR – yeah, ive wondered that one too. i mean, i have a black parent and a white parent, which side do i marry to without being pegged for switching sides? heard so many people say over the years that black men should/but dont marry black women, but at the same time if their confronted with a white person who isnt interested in marrying someone black, their wrong. dont understand it.

Musing "Ghandi" Lee

July 1st, 2010
12:55 pm

True love knows no color. But self hate usually keeps one away from those who resemble themselves.

Professor

July 1st, 2010
12:56 pm

Melo,

Tell us more. You are crazy we will get sued, we need to find a way to get you on. Hillary doesn’t have a veejay LOL. :grin: You are crazy zulu

blue

July 1st, 2010
12:57 pm

and i think any woman, black, white, asian, whatever, would want her pound of flesh after what Tiger has done. bad enough if it were just average joe and jane dealing with their mess at home, but having it all out in the public eye cause hes famous, what woman of what race wouldnt want to be paid?

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 1st, 2010
12:58 pm

@Professor…..Damm Dirty Diana you are gooooddddd! Naw I am not TheDude, but I am seeking PSH abilities in my next conquest. YESSSSSSS

@Kimmie can you please elaborate regarding the BLK entertainers or Blk athletes who talk about sista’s being gold diggers? I would say wealthy men of any race who have those thoughts would can the women who are the same race gold diggers base upon the way they act.

@Sassy,Sassy you really need some consistent dizzle don’t ya! :wink: :smile:

kimmie

July 1st, 2010
12:59 pm

Purple – Charles Barkley & Dennis Rodman are 2 atheletes that immediately come to mind. Wesley Snipes made some nasty comments in Ebony a few years ago & his career has not been the same since.

Gott run, probably catch you all later.

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
1:00 pm

blue, I hear Native American women would not want to be paid. LOL

Kym--Elin Woods is the Winner!!

July 1st, 2010
1:00 pm

Kym, do you think there are some dark secrets he has hidden? I mean why pay her hush money the whole world knows what he did.

I think Tiger has to build his brand back up (Schools, golf courses, shoes, video games..etc) he don’t need Elin showing up on Oprah or the View crying and snotting about how she was done wrong, he doesn’t need her to get any million dollar book deals to blast stuff out about their marriage..like he said what happen with him and Elin is ultimately between them. His lawyer have him thinking on future money..this too shall pass.

Professor

July 1st, 2010
1:00 pm

@Purp Tigger didn’t get go with either race he went str8 swiss when he married.

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
1:01 pm

I have an issue with ANYBODY that gets with another race and proceeds to put down their own

@Kimmie/PR/blue??

for the most part,mixed marriages arent real….

asians marry for papers

white chics marry black athletes for money

poor/middle class black dudes dont marry fly/phine white chics..they marry trailer park types or left overs..why ?

There are very few cases(in my melo stats sheet) of genuine mixed race unions in my view.

Kym--Elin Woods is the Winner!!

July 1st, 2010
1:03 pm

@Purple Rain…alright back off the Native American jokes..

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
1:04 pm

He went after what he wanted, I see no problem with that at all. LOL he did not put down a particular race did he to get him lumped in with the likes of Rodman or Charles?

Raqi

July 1st, 2010
1:04 pm

Kimmie, my brother once told me that the only men that complain about and avoid the sistahs are the ones who don’t want to answer the sistah’s 5 questions. Who? What? When? Why? and How? In other words the men that have crap to hide. LOL

However while the non-sistahs may seem less invasive they usually ain’t nobody’s fool. A former non-sistah co-worker told me once that she never questioned her husband about his cheating because as long as he got it somewhere else she didn’t have to worry about him trying to get it from her. LOL

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
1:05 pm

Kym, darn I thought that one was safe. My apologies, sort of. LOL

Dig That

July 1st, 2010
1:05 pm

@Kym- How much worse can it get? My biggest question is why did he even get married? And it was no shock he didn’t marry a sister, however if he did then this probably would have never happened or he would have been much more discreet with the indiscretions.

blue

July 1st, 2010
1:05 pm

lol PR, naw, maybe not cash but best believe you wont find your horse or your pony where you left it ;)

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
1:06 pm

If a minority person finds love outside of their race does not mean that they have a negative view of their own race. Male or Female, it is idiotic to assume so based off appearances.

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
1:08 pm

blue, LOL.

Are there any Candians on here can I talk about them? I am from “South Canada” so is it safe? lol

Raqi

July 1st, 2010
1:09 pm

however if he did then this probably would have never happened or he would have been much more discreet with the indiscretions.

DigThat, you know why? Who? What? When? Why? and How?

LOL

Kym--Elin Woods is the Winner!!

July 1st, 2010
1:09 pm

@DigThat I am not going to agree with that..because I think even if it was a black woman he still may have cheated..or slipped up and got caught.

Trevor0529

July 1st, 2010
1:10 pm

PR, be careful what you say about Canadians, eh.
:)

Professor

July 1st, 2010
1:10 pm

MR LURKER I knew you would enjoy that laugh. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :grin:

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

July 1st, 2010
1:11 pm

Look Tiger was not around a lot of sista’s during his upbringing which probably had a lot to do with his father mentaly retarded outlook on life. Tiger needs pootang to release all that tension and energy. Tiger was dycking these women while he was dating Elin. These women are his consistent jump-offs.

Can any of you women speak on those who state they do not want a sista’s because she is a gold digger?

Some of you women blog with passion as if it happened to you. Live in the present not the past. A lurker quote of the day! YEAHHHHHHH

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
1:11 pm

How many people think that their bloodline is pure with just their race?

GHANA

July 1st, 2010
1:12 pm

black chics marry white guys for paper

Purple Rain

July 1st, 2010
1:13 pm

I have read women on here state that they were willing to try to date outside of their race. And it was not because they were putting their race down.

blue

July 1st, 2010
1:13 pm

ghana – just wow, thats all i have for that. my parents are both from queens, ny. no need for papers, both from poor fams so no money, been together 30 years. it can happen with no hidden agendas.