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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: What have you learned

It’s great to be alive and well to see another birthday today! When I was younger I remember being in such a hurry to grow up and brag about my age. Now I pretty much dread it and try to avoid acknowledging how close to 40 I am getting *cough*.

I once wrote about what I would forewarn myself  about if I had a moment to speak with my “younger self”.  When thinking of everything I learned in my 20s about dating, sex, and relationships, what could I say? If you take all the pain and heartache away from our experiences, we probably would not be the same people.  What would you say to your younger self?

You know they say that we are the sum of all our experiences. I suppose that is true in many ways, but what lessons can we take from it all?

I have been writing here for 5 years and I have learned a great deal about love, relationships, and men from the dialogue we have here!  What have you learned?

Happy Monday & Happy Birthday to Moi!

622 comments Add your comment

Dirty Diana~1x for Chris Brown

June 28th, 2010
10:50 am

@Lady J I believe in redemption and I wanted Chris Brown there last year in honor of MJ, so I was happy BET had him. I noticed Jay-z and Beyawn-ce stayed away. Maybe they were on tour, or perhaps they were boycotting.

I wanted to see Prince perform. Patti is nice from time to time, but I wanted to see Prince pull out that guitar and take us there. I am such a Prince fan.

@It’s me…lurker ~ I love that 10:46.

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
10:51 am

it’s me …..lurker true indeed 10:50!

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
10:52 am

Dirty Diana alike minds honey! we are >>>>>>>>>HERE<<<<<<<<<<<<

GHANA

June 28th, 2010
10:52 am

I was part of the BET awards last nite.

I think Chris Brown was faking his way back to recognition and stardom with that rehearsed cry. No wonder John Legend,if u guys were watching,almost laughed and resisted coz he was on camera. :lol:

But my best perfomance was by Pickpocket aka Diddy and his group!

It was Amazing! That man never goes outa business..He is like The Donald.

Love his entrepenuership!

GHANA

June 28th, 2010
10:52 am

i'm swiss

June 28th, 2010
10:53 am

Really, Melo? You’re okay with calls that bad (and that frequent) being just part of the game? It’s the same old stodgy attitude that MLB has. How hard is it to just look up on the big screen and get it right?

PrincessNik....29 days and counting

June 28th, 2010
10:54 am

Hola Diana

I wanted to see Prince Perform also! I was not feeling the Janelle Monet and Espiranza whomever part of the tribute. I almost fell off the sofa when alicia got her prego behind on that piano! and Patti oh what can you say about Patti, loved when she literally kicked her shoes off. I was disappointed overall though with the Prince segment.

Leggs

June 28th, 2010
10:55 am

@GHANA ~ they’re tearing Chris apart on the Radio and TV talk blog with Rodney Ho. Apparently, quite a few think his tears were fake and his way of catapulting his career back on track.

PrincessNik....29 days and counting

June 28th, 2010
10:56 am

The diddy-dirty money performance was definately full of energy, i thought I was going to have a seizure at the end from all that pyro and smoke and strobelights etc… :shock:

Dirty Diana~1x for Chris Brown

June 28th, 2010
10:57 am

I am so tired of Alicia Keys that it is not even funny. That entire Swizz beats thingy got me.

I enjoyed seeing Jeezy on stage…”12:45 ’bout that time.” I love that song.

@Ghana I am amazed at out folks want the money and stardom so bad that they will still sign with pickpockets diddy.

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
10:58 am

LMBAO @ yall!!!!!!!!!!!

It's me....lurker

June 28th, 2010
10:58 am

Whoever it was earlier today that commented on being raised in the church, I agree. Yes we know church kids sometimes turns out to be the worst and yes, we can all agree that as a kid or young adolescent you just didn’t get why folks was keeping you from having fun like the other kids but coming into your own and womanhood, the lightbulb comes on and you can’t help but look around appreciate the balance and guidelines instilled. When you have your kids do you come to fully understand that same firm hand that guided you through is the same exact hand they’ll need as with anything, love life and living happens to us all.

Randyt (is it Friday yet?)

June 28th, 2010
10:58 am

@ Ghana

Accurate appraisal. I wish that my USA team had gone farther, but their skill with the ball at their feet is not what it needs to be at that level of play. I think our stikers were maybe a little better, but Ghana controlled the middle of the field and seldom gave away the ball thru clumbsy footwork as did the US team.

Regarding the bad calls, when my son was playing (and being coached by a former member of the Nicaraguan national team), they were always taught that they had strive to score at least three goals, one gaol allowed by the other team, and one bad call by the refs, because as you said, bad calls are part of a game that is moving so fast.

mqew

June 28th, 2010
10:58 am

It’s me – I do agree with your 10:46!

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
10:59 am

Drake is lame (personally it is omething about him I can’t put my finger on he is beyond that different dude) and i said it trey is cool chris is alright with me! that is all! lol

It's me....lurker

June 28th, 2010
11:00 am

Dirty Diana~1x for Chris Brown & Lady-learning is forever!

Good morning!!

mqew

June 28th, 2010
11:00 am

It’s me… lurker – Your 10:58 is definitely on point as well!!!!!

It's me....lurker

June 28th, 2010
11:01 am

MQEW – You know we NEVER “get” the grown folks when they’re holding you back but you can certainly come to appreciate it later in life.

Dirty Diana~1x for Chris Brown

June 28th, 2010
11:01 am

I was not feeling the Janelle Monet and Espiranza whomever part of the tribute.

@PK me either. Hell I could have done Let’s Go Crazy I would have ripped that ish better than Janelle Monet.

As for Chris Brown I am not going to judge him with that crying, because he gave his heart and soul in the dancing performance. I can see where that could have gotten the best of him not to mention singing that song.

Shoot the thing about tears, hurt, pain, love etc. you never know where it might find you, or when it will hit you.

BTW~ John Legend has a different swiss on his arm each awards show. Yeah I just said that.

GHANA

June 28th, 2010
11:02 am

@Swiss??

all the rules in soccer are in black and white but in a 90 minutes game,everything is up to the referee’s(and 2 assistants) interpretation of them…..

the foul tackles,offsides,penalty kicks,added time,..u name it.Thts up to the ref.

there are bad calls when teams score or when a foul is awarded..which can also result in a free kick being awarded and a goal being scored.

So where does it end if we were to ask for tv replays for every conceivable foul that can be committed in soccer??…

why not just have a machine do the refereeing then??

Kym-Cancers Rock!!

June 28th, 2010
11:02 am

@Leggs I don’t think Chris Brown was faking at all. Of all the wannabe MJ’s(Yes Usher I am talking about you..) I think Chris B had some kind of personal connection to him and his story..anyway..he was channeling him last night. I think he broke down at the end because the words of that song were not only personal to him but when MJ first did that performance live on TV..he himself got the “spirit”. Words have power..Music has power..words and music mixed..well… As for Jay-Z and Beyonce…whateva they both have about 7 mins left on their 15 mins clocks..IMO..

Steven Q. Stanley

June 28th, 2010
11:02 am

I’ve learned the older a woman gets without getting married the less likely she ever will. A woman of 30-40 has met dozens of great men her lifetime, and she turned them all away because they weren’t perfect. Now they are all married and the only thing left is the scarps.

My girlfriend’s sister just turned 26. She barely even dates. Why? Because no guy is good enough for her. She just bought her first cat and is preparing for a long lonely life. Meanwhile her younger sister is going to be getting married soon. Why? Because her sister realized that why I am no means perfect, I am a pretty good guy. I am no Prince Charming. But I treat her right, I am loyal, I have ambition and a good job, and we share some common interests.

This blog and the comments has been a great look into why so many women die alone, despite dreaming of their wedding day since they were 7.

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:04 am

yep DD John lost points with me on that end but I love him to death nevertheless!!!!!!

you never know when it hits you…….sensitivity is cool and some should embrace it more!

i'm swiss

June 28th, 2010
11:04 am

“…but their skill with the ball at their feet is not what it needs to be at that level of play.”

You can say that again. Comparing the U.S. guys with Germany on those breakaway goals yesterday, for example, and it’s night & day. Like they’re playing 2 different games…

Dirty Diana~1x for Chris Brown

June 28th, 2010
11:05 am

I thought Trey Songz mama was his escort for the night. His mom looks good. I need some of that Olay she is using!

@Lady j Drake grew on me and that Niki Minja(sp) is growing on me as well. I think the line about girl power got me, although she is doing it for her own fame and fortune I like the lie.

Randyt (is it Friday yet?)

June 28th, 2010
11:06 am

@ i’m swiss

I’ve reffed soccer, and coached it. No question that the (non)goal in the England/Germany game was one of the worst ever. The problem with soccer is that the game moves so much faster than anything we Americans are really used to. I am not sure of the answer truthfully. I think a replay system with VERY limited access (like the (non)goal) could be challengeable, but not much more. Where I have a problem is more with the US game where the ref NEVER had control of the game and it looked like the WWF in the penalty box. I did not question his missed call as much as I questionsed his letting the game get out of control. Bad calls are part of the game.

GHANA

June 28th, 2010
11:06 am

want the money and stardom so bad that they will still sign with pickpockets diddy.

@DirtyD??

Ignorance and desperation!!

The man thrives on those 2 words,no wonder he is in bizzness and paying his child support on time! :lol: :lol:

Dan - simply...

June 28th, 2010
11:06 am

Folks need to leave Chris Brown alone, lil dude got caught up – it happens; especially in light of his life of late. Plus, for any performers, when that feeling hits you, there’s nothing you can do, it takes you.

As for Jay and Beyonce “boycotting”, um, that threat was used last year and BET capitulated; figured it wouldn’t work 2 years running.

Leggs

June 28th, 2010
11:07 am

@Princessnik ~ when Diddy asked us to turn off our lights, lil leggs jumped up and started screaming. The living room did look funky with all the strob lights (LOL).

@LadyJ ~ I agree. There’s something no really genuine about Drake. It’s simmering right below the surface.

@Dirty Diana ~ John Legend does absolutely nothing for me. He has hips like P.Diddy (girly), but he seems to have a good heart. That’s the only part I like about him.

SlimOne

June 28th, 2010
11:07 am

PrincessNik, I was waiting for one of them to pass out from inhaling all that smog…LOL…looked like it sort of got out of hand. I truly love that song tho, had me dancing in front of the tv last night.

I thought Alicia looked good last night…glowing i suppose.

Regarding Chris Browns breakdown…I wonder if the tears were really for MJ or if it was because he felt overwhelmed to finally be back out again since all that Rihanna drama.(trying to gain a bit of sympathy) He’s really been struggling to gain folks approval for a second chance for a while now. Either way, his MJ moves were on point.

i'm swiss

June 28th, 2010
11:08 am

Melo — Not on every conceivable foul/play, but how about on scoring plays? It takes 2 seconds to check the big screen & see it. I have the same beef with MLB. I’m sure that umpire who blew the perfect game a few weeks ago wishes he could have gone to a replay to get the call right rather than being forever remembered as the douche who blew the perfect game… :lol:

AmazonRed™ - Good times

June 28th, 2010
11:08 am

A woman of 30-40 has met dozens of great men her lifetime, and she turned them all away because they weren’t perfect. Now they are all married and the only thing left is the scarps.

LOL. A more realistic scenario is the girl that let a guy string her along for years. Or dated a guy with commitment issues in the first place. I guess those are the “scarps” guys.

PrincessNik....29 days and counting

June 28th, 2010
11:08 am

Diana

I’m still on the fence about Ms. Minaj, I did think it was funny how she very slyly addressed Lil Kim’s comments in her thank you speech.

GHANA

June 28th, 2010
11:08 am

thought Trey Songz mama was his escort for the night
@DirtyD

me too..i wasnt feling her dress tho so much that i thoght that was her hoochie at first. :lol:

@Randyt? u on point. Soccer players are taught to play to the whistle.

JtJ

June 28th, 2010
11:09 am

I almost fell off my couch when I saw El Debarge!!! Thinking what rock did they find him under!! He still looks good and can still hit that falsetto well!!

Chris deserves his chance to redeem himself and I think last night was a great start!! Man in the mirror-how fitting for him to reflect on his life and I don’t think it was fake…he had drool flicking out his mouth!!lol The boy was young and I believe he just reacted wrongly to an escalated situation. Now, he just needs his fans to support him again.

I plan to not repeat the same mistakes in my 30’s as I did in my 20’s. I am off to a good start so far!! I listen more and talk less.

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:09 am

preach leggs I see right through him surface @ best…..

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:10 am

Chico and Ms Williams were alright with me!!!!! Without them there would be no present! Love it!

GHANA

June 28th, 2010
11:11 am

being forever remembered as the douche who blew the perfect game

@Swiss??

maradona scored against england with his hand in 1984(the famous hand of God) went on to demolish germany and win the world cup and is regarded as one of the best,if not the best ever.

There is no perfection in lyfe!

PrincessNik....29 days and counting

June 28th, 2010
11:11 am

Drake is lame

@ lady J, his Gov’t name is Aubrey Graham………… :)

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:13 am

NM is a mess sorry I dig lil wayne but that chic is beyond over the top it is ONE lil kim and that is all with that! lol

AmazonRed™ - Good times

June 28th, 2010
11:13 am

I was so happy to see El Debarge. His songs are on constant rotation on my ipod to this day. After seeing what happened to him on Unsung…I’m so glad he was able to come back. He ripped it!

Steven Q. Stanley

June 28th, 2010
11:14 am

Amazon, getting played by players is common for women who are goign to die alone. Players lie and make themselves out to be this “Prince Charming” the Die Aloners are looking for. It’s easy to spot a good man and spot one that is only interested in the booty. But delusional women who are looking for that perfect guy just can’t see past their own unrealistic dreams. So they get played a few times and die alone.

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:15 am

he did ARed he did! i think he surpried himself yep he still has it! classic!

Kym-Cancers Rock!!

June 28th, 2010
11:15 am

I sure wish Prince performed last night..but Stevie’s intro for him was funny and so on point. He is the last of the music makers..real music..real bands..I hope his little speech about the future being in good hands was not some kind of weak goodbye..cause I just know he has a catalog of unpublished stuff so he can come on out with a new album anytime now. Welcome back El Debarge!!

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:16 am

PK too cute! don’t get me wrong he is very intelligent and i like that be it is just something….lol

i'm swiss

June 28th, 2010
11:17 am

“There is no perfection in lyfe!”

That is very true, Melo. But that’s no excuse not to try to get it right as much as possible. That’s the frustrating part for me — the fact that it would be so easy to correct. I agree that you can never get every call right, but you could sure as hell get a lot more right simply by taking 2 second to look at a replay. (We’re clearly never going to agree on this….) ;-) :lol:

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:17 am

Morris Day could have sealed the deal last night with healping the tribute i think!

PrincessNik....29 days and counting

June 28th, 2010
11:17 am

The living room did look funky with all the strob lights (LOL).

@ Leggs, it reminded me of my days in the predominately “swiss” clubs with the techno music blasting :lol:

Lady-learning is forever!

June 28th, 2010
11:19 am

Alicia ROCKED that pink dress she makes preggo look easy and great effortlessly! not a huge fan of hers but she has great singles i love! I am still like chic you and your man! do it honey! lol

Dirty Diana~1x for Chris Brown

June 28th, 2010
11:19 am

when Diddy asked us to turn off our lights, lil leggs jumped up and started screaming.

I had to cut my eyes at Diddy. Dirty Diana does not get up for stuff like that, shoot I need a small child to handle that request

@melo I wonder how old she was when she had Trey to wear a dress like that and enjoy the show and stuff.

I enjoyed watchin T.I. he looked good running across that stage. Plenty of engery that is a man for ya!

@PK what was Lil’ Kim’s comments? I don’t keep up so I missed that…