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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Dealing with your past

My apologies for the late blog post! I hope you are as ready for the weekend as I am! Happy Friday!

I don’t know if I will ever understand men completely.  Dating can be like this crazy ongoing education of human behavior, and male behavior is my major (or minor?).    Since  I have mainly been dating younger men lately,  I am trying to meet and date men older than 40.  Call it my something new for summer.

I had a lively debate with my guy of interest the other day.  He is older than I am so we were sort of recounting our past relationships and experiences.  He made some comment about his last girlfriend and the reason they broke up.  It had something to do with a surprising revelation about her that he discovered after a year of dating her.  He wouldn’t tell me what it was specifically but he said that it was because of what she had done in the past.

Well that sort of made me pause a bit. I was wondering if he was that overly critical and judgmental type of guy.  You know the type that goes over your past with a fine tooth comb and “vets” you like you are about to be his running mate in a presidential election? Yeah, that’s annoying.

We all have “a past” because we are living and breathing humans, not mannequins.   I think having “skeletons” in the closet gets blown out of proportion.  Let’s put it into perspective: What kind of past would warrant a break up?  Would you break up with someone because they did not tell you about it?

Do you think we are understanding enough of a person’s past? Do we use it as yet another excuse not to commit to a relationship? Discuss!

382 comments Add your comment

kimmie

June 25th, 2010
2:16 pm

He is asking because of the money he spent.

Absolutely!

Old Mack + Cheap + Tacky = Zero!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:18 pm

Kitty – Im unlike your average bear.. I enjoy seeing the female getting where she needs to go more than anything.. It gives me great joy to see a babe with that look in her eye afterwards.. That “I rode the Scream Machine” look.. That I cant believe all that just happened to me look.. That I just danced with the Devil under the pale moonlight look..

Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)

June 25th, 2010
2:19 pm

Old Mack + Cheap + Tacky = Zero!

Zip,Zilch….NADA!!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:22 pm

Sassy – Nah what happens is what Shaunie’s Lil dude did.. He went on Twitter and started tweeting until Shaunie told him to take it down.. Which he did… Sucka.. You cut him off after youve thrown that grown lady upside his head.. He might start crying or sitting outside ya house or something “Young” like that.. Or again he might go to tweetin about you..

SlimOne w/my glitter glove on - HeHe

June 25th, 2010
2:23 pm

Leggs – if you’re not careful old dude might try to sue you your half of the meal from Rays…do yall recall when a guy did that to this chick who he went out with???

Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)

June 25th, 2010
2:24 pm

kicking his azz to the curb Not because he was cheap, but because he weas dumb enough to say that…

Ditto…

DreamsMaterialize

June 25th, 2010
2:24 pm

Enter your comments here

Melo

June 25th, 2010
2:24 pm

@Leggs??

so whatchu go do?? :lol:

(I am in Ray Ray’s corner tho) so i aint going to argue for him anymore coz it wont help his case anyway)

Leggs - Smooth Criminal

June 25th, 2010
2:26 pm

@SlimOne ~ no, I don’t remember that…WOW!

SlimOne w/my glitter glove on - HeHe

June 25th, 2010
2:28 pm

‘That I just danced with the Devil under the pale moonlight look..’

DK – :shock: Me loves me some Prince wit his freaky deaky self. ;-)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:28 pm

Kitty – come on in. I got a 4yr almost 5yr old that needs a lil sister.. Let me get him a lil sister out ya..

Leggs - Smooth Criminal

June 25th, 2010
2:30 pm

@Melo ~ nada! I told him how I felt. I’m not going to lecture him on tackiness, smoothness, go with the flow, etc. This man knows what he’s doing. If he wants to call me again he will. If not, I’ll keep my mind open to meeting someone else somewhere else!!!!

LURKS

June 25th, 2010
2:30 pm

Lucious lovin’ Leroy lustly loves ladies. Loquaciously lures, licks, lay. Lacks love. Lastly, loomingly leaves. Love ‘em. Leave ‘em.

SlimOne w/my glitter glove on - HeHe

June 25th, 2010
2:30 pm

Leggs – it might’ve been last year or the year before where they had that story on the radio. This guy met this chick, i want to say online, but they went out to some expensive place, ordered wine..the whole nine. I believe the lady had to go out of town on business so she hadn’t been returning the guys calls. So they have played the voicemail messages from the dude on her voicemail…I guess he felt she got flaky on him. But each message was progressively more angry until he basically said she needed to reimburse him for her half of the tab. It was hilarious

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:31 pm

Slim – I loves to be freaky.. That bedroom missionary sex aint for me.. I might rub ya boohooty at the office party being discrete of course.. But yeah.. And give you the look like.. Anytime Anyplace.. Cause you cant threaten me with a good time..

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:34 pm

Lurks – Is that you baby.. Whats wrong Daddy aint showing you know attention.. Well have no fear.. Daddy will beat your Tamborine too.. Boo.. Come on Baby… Let me rub on that juicebox and squeeze them biscuits..

kimmie

June 25th, 2010
2:34 pm

Slim – I remember that case now! I think they played the messages on Q100, but I’m sure it ran all over the country.

Kym-Living off the Wall

June 25th, 2010
2:37 pm

WTH?? Alright Wisey already warned ya’ll..

Melo

June 25th, 2010
2:38 pm

to lecture him on tackiness, smoothness, go with the flow, etc

@Leggs?? smoothness is game.

too bad u aint BMW…she prefers that kinda honesty like Ray showed and more;;……

Ray: baby,im gon spend this much $$$$ on ur tonite then when we go back to the crib,im gon beat down that nana of urs real good! :lol: :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:42 pm

Leggs – He was trying you to see what you would do… If you said Ok I’ll take you out.. Then he would have came up nd ya’ll wouldve been out on a date on your dime.. I’ll never ask but if you never part your purse after a while then eventually Im gonna just stop taking us out. One of two things will happen eventually you’ll get tired of sitting around and want to take us out or we’ll fade out..

kimmie

June 25th, 2010
2:47 pm

Goodness, does this “who pays for dates” stuff ever go away, even with age?

I mean Leggs, you said you invited him to lunch. That doesn’t count? Dang!

Kevin James

June 25th, 2010
2:49 pm

A woman puts a B.O.B. and a banana on the nightstand next to her bed. The banana looks over and says to the B.O.B. “I don’t know why you are shaking, she’s gonna eat me!”

DreamsMaterialize

June 25th, 2010
2:51 pm

See Leggs, you should have just skipped Ray’s on the River and come to Chateau de Dreams for your seafood medley. ;-)

Dig That

June 25th, 2010
2:55 pm

@kimmie- Yeah she invited him to lunch but he is more concerned with who paid for it tho. Big Ray is like I ain’t gon spend another dollar if you ain’t giving me dat booty. Hurry up girl!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:55 pm

Kimmie – Some dudes still think taking a chicks to Rays guarantees some sex. If the chick digs you, you can take her to Busy B’s on MLK and its all good cause shes gonna wanna be where ever you are.. It doesnt matter..

DreamsMaterialize

June 25th, 2010
2:55 pm

Goodness, does this “who pays for dates” stuff ever go away, even with age?
No, because 99.99% of the time women don’t pay. But like PopG said, some double standards work in your favor, and some work against you.

Melo

June 25th, 2010
2:56 pm

@Kevin??

Dang..is it that bad with singles out there??

they have to bring a banana to approximate/imitate a blow job and then B.O.B??

P I TI FU L :lol: :lol:

F. W. B. sounds much better and dignified.

Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)

June 25th, 2010
2:56 pm

You cut him off after youve thrown that grown lady upside his head.. He might start crying or sitting outside ya house or something “Young” like that..

LOL @ “grown lady”.

But seriously DK maybe I did have him looking like :shock: after a few of our sessions but damn we grown. He bet not be outside my house when I get home today or I’m calling Clayton County and they roll deep.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
2:57 pm

whats a B.O.B? Bombs over Baghdad. A rapper who sings “Got nothing on you” I dont know?

Lady-PYT-RIP MJ

June 25th, 2010
2:57 pm

what is poppin’ on the plaground folks???!!!????? lol

Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)

June 25th, 2010
2:59 pm

If the chick digs you, you can take her to Busy B’s on MLK and its all good cause shes gonna wanna be where ever you are..

Awwww that just made me feel all warm n fuzzy…..

Leggs - Smooth Criminal

June 25th, 2010
2:59 pm

@Melo ~ you read it wrong, I’m not going to lecture him on the art of smoothness…he wasn’t smooth. I appreciate his honesty, just didn’t like the delivery. Smooth, he isn’t!

Kym-Living off the Wall

June 25th, 2010
3:00 pm

BOB = Battery Operated Boyfriend..

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2010
3:00 pm

Enter your comments here

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
3:01 pm

Kym – Oh Dang…

Lady-PYT-RIP MJ

June 25th, 2010
3:01 pm

can’t catch up….I am aging! lol

kitty kat

June 25th, 2010
3:03 pm

DUMP DAT CHOMP. sweatin a dime on jus date #2?

SlimOne w/my glitter glove on - HeHe

June 25th, 2010
3:03 pm

‘Some dudes still think taking a chicks to Rays guarantees some sex.’

I’d rather the dude have just given me the money he would’ve spent on the meal and I would’ve kissed him on the spot. It would be the same result and that money could go to something a little more productive like my car note. ;-)

‘I loves to be freaky’

DK – well as stated before, guess some dudes can’t handle a chick who is comfortable with sex & her inner-freak. It’s like a catch 22…if you’re boring in bed then you get talked about or looked at crazy…if you know how to swing from the chandelier with only one hand and the other one holding your other leg behind your head w/o skipping a beat, you get looked at crazy. Can’t win for losing.

kimmie

June 25th, 2010
3:04 pm

If the chick digs you, you can take her to Busy B’s on MLK and its all good cause shes gonna wanna be where ever you are.. It doesnt matter..

DK – Now you right about that!

Dreams – It’s just my pet peeve, in fact, it’s a dealbreaker with me, counting pennies. But then it’s never been an issue with me because I have no problem reciprocating. But please don’t make me feel like you’re doing me any favors by spending your little change on me!

It just trips me out that he pulled the classic simp move – he lead with his wallet and can’t keep up but still expects something! SIMP!

Leggs - Smooth Criminal

June 25th, 2010
3:05 pm

@kimmie ~ apparently not.

@Infamous ~ I believe a woman’s purse should be open, but damn I only went out with 1.5 weeks ago. Give me time to ask. Why you gotta jump the gun like I’m some skeezer trying to beat you out of your money. Yes, that’s exactly how I took it.

Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)

June 25th, 2010
3:05 pm

Have a grreat weekend errbody!!

Dirty Diana

June 25th, 2010
3:06 pm

Wassup MR LURKER! I saw your shout out, and you know I have a bone to pick with you! Where is happy hour I might just stop thru YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :wink:

@Infamous DK let me ask you this. How do you feel if the date is going well and the lady ask to extend the date by treating you to a drink? Does that count?

DreamsMaterialize

June 25th, 2010
3:06 pm

Kimmie – Some dudes still think taking a chicks to Rays guarantees some sex.
Funny thing is Ray’s is just ooooookay. Take a chick to a spot everyone else thinks is fancy and expect to get some…it’s the lazy dater’s MO. He could have taken her Elon’s, got an assortment of dishes and a bottle of wine, post up in a quiet outdoor location, eat, converse, enjoy each other.

Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)

June 25th, 2010
3:08 pm

if you know how to swing from the chandelier with only one hand and the other one holding your other leg behind your head w/o skipping a beat, you get looked at crazy.

:shock:

That’s a hell of a visual…okay now I’m OWT.

Lady-PYT-RIP MJ

June 25th, 2010
3:09 pm

Dirty Diana what’s up chica!!!

SlimOne w/my glitter glove on - HeHe

June 25th, 2010
3:09 pm

‘Why you gotta jump the gun like I’m some skeezer trying to beat you out of your money’

Leggs – it wasn’t like you waiting for him to go in for the kiss just to start crying and saying how your lights were about to get cut off or left an eviction notice in plain sight for him to ask you about :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

June 25th, 2010
3:11 pm

Sass a Frass – It takes a special guy to appreciate that there coochie.

SlimOne w/my glitter glove on - HeHe

June 25th, 2010
3:11 pm

‘If the chick digs you, you can take her to Busy B’s on MLK and its all good cause shes gonna wanna be where ever you are.. It doesnt matter..’

DK – Hi five for that one…we could go to the candy lady’s house up the street, buy 2 packs of hot fries and a screwball ice cream cone and be happy as can be. It’s the little things when you’re into someone

Lady-PYT-RIP MJ

June 25th, 2010
3:12 pm

leggs can I get an overview pls professor somebody…….

Melo

June 25th, 2010
3:13 pm

if you’re boring in bed then you get talked about

@Slim…

nope u dont…they feel encouraged to show u some thangs coz they feel empowered.

guys talk about/compare notes when they “feel she’s is a slutt”…after u gone.

It is not necessarily a truism that she is a slut.

Just a mental power move!