Dating: Dealing with your past
My apologies for the late blog post! I hope you are as ready for the weekend as I am! Happy Friday!
I don’t know if I will ever understand men completely. Dating can be like this crazy ongoing education of human behavior, and male behavior is my major (or minor?). Since I have mainly been dating younger men lately, I am trying to meet and date men older than 40. Call it my something new for summer.
I had a lively debate with my guy of interest the other day. He is older than I am so we were sort of recounting our past relationships and experiences. He made some comment about his last girlfriend and the reason they broke up. It had something to do with a surprising revelation about her that he discovered after a year of dating her. He wouldn’t tell me what it was specifically but he said that it was because of what she had done in the past.
Well that sort of made me pause a bit. I was wondering if he was that overly critical and judgmental type of guy. You know the type that goes over your past with a fine tooth comb and “vets” you like you are about to be his running mate in a presidential election? Yeah, that’s annoying.
We all have “a past” because we are living and breathing humans, not mannequins. I think having “skeletons” in the closet gets blown out of proportion. Let’s put it into perspective: What kind of past would warrant a break up? Would you break up with someone because they did not tell you about it?
Do you think we are understanding enough of a person’s past? Do we use it as yet another excuse not to commit to a relationship? Discuss!
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382 comments Add your comment
Leggs - Beat It
June 25th, 2010
1:24 pm
@InfamousD ~ I know. I commented last week how ironic it is that his cellmate is a hitman!
@LURKER ~ you always make me smile!
Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)
June 25th, 2010
1:24 pm
Clowns to the right of me..jokers to the left…
This is a little too slow of a Friday…
Umm whatchu tryna do Dreams?
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
1:27 pm
Has anybody heard anything about the new iphone?
sexyCOOL
June 25th, 2010
1:31 pm
“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” MJ FOREVER!!!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
1:31 pm
Sessy -
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:32 pm
Leroy!!!!! You are funny…..for an old guy. LMBO!!!!
DreamsMaterialize
June 25th, 2010
1:32 pm
Sassy I ain’t tryna do nothin…being good. Blog filter is eating up my post, but I can’t tell which word it doesn’t like. The post is G-rated, I promise. lol
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:32 pm
just kidding
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
1:33 pm
Kitty – Yeah I’ll be your Daddy… Now get me money!!!
i'm swiss
June 25th, 2010
1:33 pm
Melo — Yeah, once the big dealers cross the line into murder, I would consider them murderers, not just drug dealers…
Leggs - Stop In the Name of Love
June 25th, 2010
1:34 pm
Ok, he done gon and did it. Why o why???
I just got off the phone with the guy who took me to Rays. We’ve had some pleasant conversations since that dinner. We’re just chatting along when he pops the question. “Am I ever going to ask him out on a date. I don’t use this word often, but I managed to say “HUH!” Collected myself and told him I’ve only been out with him once, the thought of asking him out hasn’t crossed my mind just yet. I don’t mind asking a man out on a date, but we’re both still trying to find out if there’s something to pursue. And by the way, I reminded him that I invited him out to lunch. Not that he has to do all the pursuing, but after one date I didn’t think to ask him out to dinner. Heck I was about to get around to inviting him to my place for dinner. Nothing really wrong, but I thought he wanted to court. I know this is 2010 and we are independent, but we also talk a lot about the natural flow of pursuit. Men are the hunters and women are the prey. Silly me, I thought I was being hunted. Guess not, cuz he said he doesn’t want to spend too much $$ on me if I’m not going to reciprocate.
@LURKER ~ think that hurt I may put on someone will have to wait a little longer!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
1:34 pm
Kitty – I know.. And I would love to bounce/bunny hop you around in front of the TV..
Melo
June 25th, 2010
1:35 pm
Has anybody heard anything about the new iphone
@Dig That??
I have,this morning on geek merning amrica(tv)(in my arab twang)
Incidentally, i dropped my iphone and it went bonkers dead…. now i have to replace it with the new new 4g.
How opportune??
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:36 pm
Leroy, I think you mean GRANDADDY! LMBO!!!! That’s funny and cute awwwww. Grandpa thinks he’s doing something. Be careful you might think to hard and break a hip. ROFL!!!!
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:37 pm
you dirty old man!!! shame shame!!! ROFL!!!!
Melo
June 25th, 2010
1:38 pm
Dreamz??
u the mathematician, i thgoht u wld calculate the odds of ur post posting successfully be4 u hit submit!
It's me....lurker
June 25th, 2010
1:38 pm
was he pitching or catching???
that’s just nasty all around. We’re talking at least 18 inches….that’s enough to make a person pass out, cross over even.
Melo
June 25th, 2010
1:38 pm
Leggs..check ur mail woman!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
1:40 pm
Kitty – Yeah I’ll break a hip all right.. and a pelvis.. Cause I lay down heavy and go pleanty deep…
AmazonRed™ - Ready to groove
June 25th, 2010
1:40 pm
he said he doesn’t want to spend too much $$ on me if I’m not going to reciprocate.
Leggs – Please tell me you are joking. WHO DOES THAT?!
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:41 pm
Leroy- Awwww so cute granpy. Now, wake up, you’re drooling. LMBO!!!
Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)
June 25th, 2010
1:41 pm
Guess not, cuz he said he doesn’t want to spend too much $$ on me if I’m not going to reciprocate.
AmazonRed™ - Ready to groove
June 25th, 2010
1:41 pm
Dig That – One of my church friends posted that he waited in line 18 hours to get his iphone yesterday. That’s right 1-8.
I’m seriously considering defriending him. Is that what Jesus would do?
Melo
June 25th, 2010
1:43 pm
@Leggs??
he is right. U both grown and mature and u dont have to play by the rules of the young.
and remember, i asked u last time about the kiss when u went to his house and u said that was a grown up mature move….
do the right thing and make a mature grown move on him…..like that kiss suggested.
u deserve it!
Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)
June 25th, 2010
1:44 pm
Cause I lay down heavy and go pleanty deep…
Viagra done started all kinds of isht….
I kid…I kid…I’m bored shoot.
LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)
June 25th, 2010
1:44 pm
@Leggs…. Hang in there leggs( In my Sam Cook Voice) Change gonna come! We will make that back busting, body sweat, Orgasmatic screaming gonna CUMMMMMM! YEAH BABY!!!!
@Leggs…Don’t blow him off just yet,he just might be testing you!
@Sassy can you please explain to a LURKER what kind of Voodoo you put on that young buck? Enquiring minds would like to know………YEAHHHHHH
P.S. full details!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
1:44 pm
Kitty – I got my Geritol and Old spice ready for ya.. Lets get it..
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:46 pm
ROFL!!!!
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:46 pm
Thanks Leroy you made my day!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
1:47 pm
Sassy – Viagra done started all kinds of isht
My pipes dont need extra pressure to work.. I still get Morning Wood.. Which is a beautiful thing by the way.
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:51 pm
You know some of my girlfriends are talking about dating older, 40 something men. I’m getting there but I’m thinking that older guys have already lived life and don’t wantto do things like have children. I’m thinking that they have already done that and it wouldn’t be as exciting and special for themand those that haven’t, well it’s because they don’t to. Those guys are most likely players anyway, played all their lives and still trying to wear sunglasses in the club.
Leggs - Stop In the Name of Love
June 25th, 2010
1:53 pm
@ARed ~ I surmise old heads who’ve gotten burned while dating younger chicks. I don’t know.
@Melo ~ no one is playing by the rules of the young. It’s the rules of man and woman. I can reciprocate and spend the same amount of $ or more if I want to. The point is who the hell says that after one date??? It is such a turnoff. Sure, he knew about how much he would spend by taking me to Rays. If you’re gonna bytch about it a few weeks later, sure wish you never took me!
@LURKER ~ and….much like RandyT and his girl remember being in the back with a past lover, or the other girl who bragged about having more lovers than her friend and the desire leaving your system. I’m experiencing the same feeling!!!
Young games, Melo, I’m too old for this tit for tat BS!
I’m going to get me a cold glass of water and pretend it’s Patron!!!!
DreamsMaterialize
June 25th, 2010
1:53 pm
u the mathematician, i thgoht u wld calculate the odds of ur post posting successfully be4 u hit submit!
Melo I did calculate the odds. lol Apparently, whoever designed the blog filter hasn’t had enough exposure to information theory to develop an effective algorithm. haha
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
1:54 pm
ARED- He is not the only one, but just like Melo I think I jacked mine up at the right time.
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
1:54 pm
Morning wood? Are you sure it isn’t a morning slinky or a morning thawed weiner?
Kym-Living off the Wall
June 25th, 2010
1:56 pm
@DK Dude I thought you were younger than me? What is this about viagra? Wait am I reading this thread wrong?
DreamsMaterialize
June 25th, 2010
1:58 pm
kitty kat, DK done hooked you already, even you haven’t realized. don’t fight the reel, just swim on to the boat.
Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)
June 25th, 2010
1:58 pm
I still get Morning Wood.. Which is a beautiful thing by the way.
That’s how I feel when I get it,too.
what kind of Voodoo you put on that young buck?
As I’ve said earlier…I’m thorough,in my prime and like T.I. said in one of his jawns off the “Urban Legend” cd….I done shown him some thangs he aint never seen befo…
Randyt (home from the land where men are men and sheep are scared)
June 25th, 2010
1:59 pm
@ Leggs re: he said he doesn’t want to spend too much $$ on me if I’m not going to reciprocate.
Sounds about like time to practice for that $1,000,000 Dr.Pepper Field Goal contest by kicking his azz to the curb
Not because he was cheap, but because he weas dumb enough to say that…kind of like those ladies I mentioned 
kitty kat
June 25th, 2010
2:00 pm
@ dreams…What???
AmazonRed™ - Ready to groove
June 25th, 2010
2:00 pm
@Leggs…Don’t blow him off just yet,he just might be testing you!
And that would be exactly why she should blow him off.
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
2:00 pm
I done shown her some thangs he aint never seen befo…
@Sassy- and that is why we wind up having to have those conversations and watch the sad faces. Lol
Melo
June 25th, 2010
2:02 pm
Leggs??
I hear ur 1.53 but i dont buy it for this reason: i thoght part of being grown and mature is going for what u want,unabashed..no wasting time,no game.
No wonder the grown up woman kiss. I take it.
Now,if u like him,why wld u want to have him go to great lenghts courting u when u can show that by receiprocating and inviting him on a date as well?
He is not asking that coz of the money he spend, i think more so coz of the confidence u showed in him by going to his house and kissing him.
I wdnt expect that on a date if i were 30 with a chic 2 years my junior.
Randyt (home from the land where men are men and sheep are scared)
June 25th, 2010
2:03 pm
Regarding dating 40+ men, I feel obligated to quote country philosopher Lamar Spangler who stated the following, “I’m not as good as I once was, but I am as good ONCE as I ever was”. Practice and experience count
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
2:05 pm
Kym – Im not over 40 and I mos def got jokes..
kimmie
June 25th, 2010
2:07 pm
Leggs – When you first mentioned Ray on the blog, didn’t you say HE SAID he was interviewing for the position of SUGAR DADDY?
Looks like he’ll be getting his standard form letter in the mail!LOL!
Dear Mr. Ray,
Thank you for your interest in the Sugar Daddy position. While your qualifications in the begining were impressive, I decided to not fill the position at this time.
Good luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Leggs!
Randyt (home from the land where men are men and sheep are scared)
June 25th, 2010
2:08 pm
lol @ kimmie
LURKS
June 25th, 2010
2:09 pm
Tell the truth and shame the devil. You’re a regular that’s wanting to get at LEROY but you dare not reveal that in your truest form.
Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)
June 25th, 2010
2:10 pm
and that is why we wind up having to have those conversations and watch the sad faces.
I know right!? And since he is/was soo much younger than I am I thought it would’ve been easier to let him/it go….meaning he wouldn’t really have an issue given the “nature” of our understanding.
Leggs - Stop In the Name of Love
June 25th, 2010
2:11 pm
@Kym ~ DK is pulling your leg re viagra (I believe).
@Melo ~ no one said anything about going to “great lenghts” to court me. All I’m saying is the way he went about it is tacky at best. No one ever said honesty and tackiness were cousins.
He is not asking that coz of the money he spend, i think more so coz of the confidence u showed in him by going to his house and kissing him. WRONG!
He is asking because of the money he spent. I can understand your logic better if I had straddled him, held is face in my hands and wiped my face with his tongue.
He leaned down to kiss me and I kissed him back. We weren’t “busting slob” all over the place. Doesn’t take confidence to kiss someone back. Even a shy person can pull this off.
Also, even by “going for what you want” some time is wasted. You do have to get to know the person.