Dating: Dealing with your past
My apologies for the late blog post! I hope you are as ready for the weekend as I am! Happy Friday!
I don’t know if I will ever understand men completely. Dating can be like this crazy ongoing education of human behavior, and male behavior is my major (or minor?). Since I have mainly been dating younger men lately, I am trying to meet and date men older than 40. Call it my something new for summer.
I had a lively debate with my guy of interest the other day. He is older than I am so we were sort of recounting our past relationships and experiences. He made some comment about his last girlfriend and the reason they broke up. It had something to do with a surprising revelation about her that he discovered after a year of dating her. He wouldn’t tell me what it was specifically but he said that it was because of what she had done in the past.
Well that sort of made me pause a bit. I was wondering if he was that overly critical and judgmental type of guy. You know the type that goes over your past with a fine tooth comb and “vets” you like you are about to be his running mate in a presidential election? Yeah, that’s annoying.
We all have “a past” because we are living and breathing humans, not mannequins. I think having “skeletons” in the closet gets blown out of proportion. Let’s put it into perspective: What kind of past would warrant a break up? Would you break up with someone because they did not tell you about it?
Do you think we are understanding enough of a person’s past? Do we use it as yet another excuse not to commit to a relationship? Discuss!
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382 comments Add your comment
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
11:23 am
What it do F2B
Kym-Living off the Wall
June 25th, 2010
11:24 am
For Real if you are out there.. you are going to have to start showing up to this rodeo a bit earlier..all the good news is old news when you get here…
M. (pronouced M dot)
June 25th, 2010
11:25 am
@ Melo
That’s interesting and I have good news for you. I am not trying to impress you.
You strike me as a simp. You meet a girl, she is cool, you just blinded by booty, and you get nervous about her leaving so while she is trying to step her game up, working out and trying not to look like precious, you tell her she doesnt need to work out, she can eat KFC Double Down’s 3 times a day and you try to get her pregnant to lock her down. Is this you Melo?
Melo
June 25th, 2010
11:27 am
Her comment was that she had had many more lovers than her friend
@Randyt??
Wow..u coming up with zingers this freaky friday!!
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
11:28 am
KFC Double Down’s 3 times a day
I can’t even that much after the munchies.
i'm swiss
June 25th, 2010
11:28 am
“I would not care if she did some jail time or murdered someone etc and served her sentence.”
Randyt (home from the land where men are men and sheep are scared)
June 25th, 2010
11:29 am
As I’ve said before melo, if you put yourself out there, and I have for along time, you encounter some things that often fall into the WTF category.
Melo
June 25th, 2010
11:30 am
Is this you Melo?
@Mdot!!
yeah yeah yeah!
Randyt (home from the land where men are men and sheep are scared)
June 25th, 2010
11:31 am
The world would be a much simpler place for women AND men, if women could go to Walgreens and get a new hymen before each relationship…and say “see, honey, you are the ONLY one”.
Sassy Me...You know I'm BAD :-)
June 25th, 2010
11:33 am
You strike me as a simp.
M. (pronouced M dot)
June 25th, 2010
11:33 am
@Melo
Its all good. I respect you for stepping up to the plate lol. If you want to set up a foot rubbing stand on 285, thats cool just be true to yourself playa lol!
Trevor0529
June 25th, 2010
11:33 am
LMAO!! @Randyt
Melo
June 25th, 2010
11:34 am
if women could go to Walgreens and get a new hymen before each relationship…and say “see, honey, you are the ONLY one”.
@Randyt!!?
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kym-Living off the Wall
June 25th, 2010
11:37 am
@RandyT..they have that surgery..but I think it is completely idiotic for a man to expect his woman to be some kind of virgin at 40 plus but still have She-Wolf behavior(I am listening to Shakira right now) in the bedroom. Come on dude!
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
11:39 am
The world would be a much simpler place for women AND men, if women could go to Walgreens and get a new hymen before each relationship…and say “see, honey, you are the ONLY one
Randyt- I’m sending you the bill for this coffee stain on my sleeve from spitting out the sip I just took. LMAO!!!
Randyt (home from the land where men are men and sheep are scared)
June 25th, 2010
11:41 am
Just kidding Kym, I live in the real world too
Just another way of reflecting on how much information is enough, and how much is too much.
Leggs - [S]he's Out Of My Life
June 25th, 2010
11:43 am
@RandyT ~ no disrespect, but sounds like you dated some airheads. I don’t know of any woman that would say stuff like that all willy nilly!
When you said she said she had more lovers than her friend I immediately pictured you sitting on a bed talking with a prostitute!
True Story
June 25th, 2010
11:43 am
Met a man who told me his past on the first date – he said that he did’nt chase women, he use to run’em and he use to stay mellow to keep from having to get mellow – but now he is saved. lol
M. (pronouced M dot)
June 25th, 2010
11:45 am
@Melo
I think I hear your cape flapping in the wind. Do you save a lot of women?
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
11:46 am
Hey I want my woman slighly used.. You know like a good 45 used tire. You know its been on the road but the tread is still good and it has a lot of life left in it.. I like to stay away from the 35 used tires unless its an emergency but the 25 and 15 dollar tires get passed over quick.. You know the 25/15 got a lot of miles on em, might be a little flaky, have a slow leak, wont last long and would be considered as a Maypop. That thang may pop at anytime. So a good 45 dollar used tire is bout what Im looking for. It has all the Benefits of a new tire but is cheaper and broken in just right.
OOPS!
June 25th, 2010
11:48 am
“The world would be a much simpler place for women AND men, if women could go to Walgreens and get a new hymen before each relationship…and say “see, honey, you are the ONLY one”
@Randy – you are stupid and you must be dating sluts – because a woman who has not let men use and abuse her won’t have that problem.
Kym-Living off the Wall
June 25th, 2010
11:48 am
@RandyT I know…I just can’t figure you fellows out. You want to meet a freak but she can not have developed her freakiness or gotten her freak on with some other dude(s).
Purple Rain
June 25th, 2010
11:49 am
Swiss, that’s the truth
Purple Rain
June 25th, 2010
11:51 am
Kym, there is a freaky quota. No more than one partner per year and it is relative to the age that she started having sex. Don’t confuse quality with quantity. LOL
Leggs - BAD
June 25th, 2010
11:51 am
@True Story ~ that tells me to put on my sneakers with the rollerblades and skidaddle!!!!
Willie Dynamite
June 25th, 2010
11:51 am
DK – 11:46 Exactly my man, exactly!!!
SlimOne w/my glitter glove on - HeHe
June 25th, 2010
11:52 am
Dude i’m dating said he was looking at my pics on fb and could tell by the pics of my ex and I that we did a lot of body bumpin…I’m like wth are you talking about. You can’t gather that in a pic. But the amount of time we were together, what else would you expect. At least it wasn’t going on with random dudes. It’s sort of like when you have an old year plucker car that you don’t want to get rid of because you know just how to jingle the handle to get the door unlocked, you know exactly how many times you have to pump the gas to get the ignition to start, and you know that you have to put the gear into neutral at a red light or stop sign to keep the engine running.
Melo
June 25th, 2010
11:53 am
Do you save a lot of women?
@Mdot..
saving them as in how??
Kym-Living off the Wall
June 25th, 2010
11:53 am
@PurpleRain..seriously a freaky quota? Lawd…well I started as a teenager.
i'm swiss
June 25th, 2010
11:53 am
“Lorena Bobbit, meet Purple Rain.. Purlple Rain, Lorena Bobbit.”
You still don’t care, dude???
Melo
June 25th, 2010
11:55 am
It has all the Benefits of a new tire but is cheaper and broken in just right.
@DK
Kym-Living off the Wall
June 25th, 2010
11:59 am
@Swiss..Lorena Bobbitt has moved on..she sells real estate in VA, has a foundations for domestic violence..oh and has a three year old daughter..so some guy gave her a second chance.
Leggs - BAD
June 25th, 2010
11:59 am
@Im swiss ~ excellent example!!!
Leggs - BAD
June 25th, 2010
12:01 pm
@Kym ~ hope Sins of The Mother doesn’t pass along to the daughter. Just a thought!
i'm swiss
June 25th, 2010
12:01 pm
“…so some guy gave her a second chance.”
Hmph…. And I bet ol’ boy locks up the cutlery when he goes to bed at night, too…
True Story
June 25th, 2010
12:02 pm
@Leggs – I did – I ran fast!
Purple Rain
June 25th, 2010
12:03 pm
Swiss, my past is nowhere near clean. I don’t care except for those two things I listed.
Kym, how old are you? LOL
Melo
June 25th, 2010
12:04 pm
You want to meet a freak but she can not have developed her freakiness or gotten her freak on with some other dude(s).
@Kym!
we want the freaks to show their freakiness not from jump but slowly so much so that it appears(comouflaged) as if I helped her develop it.!
Leggs - Thriller
June 25th, 2010
12:06 pm
@Melo ~ you definitely have a valid point there!
i'm swiss
June 25th, 2010
12:07 pm
@ PR — Well, I commend you then. Not me, though. I don’t have that much faith in folks’ ability to truly change who/what they are. If you’ve demonstrated you are capable of doing something (by actually doing it in your past), then I’m pretty confident you could do it again.
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
12:07 pm
@Melo- So true. I had a buddy that was with this girl. She was a Mary Poppins type for 4 months. He liked it at first because of course he is thinking he has a newbie. But got real disturbed after about 6 months when she just was sooooo freaky out the clear blue.
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
12:09 pm
Ok if you can own a home for 20 grand in the A why wouldnt you? Are you not aware that the rent you pay doesnt help you out in any way? Im confused? Oh cause its not a house in Buckhead where your Apt is. Ok I get it.. and for 40 grand you can get something really nice right now. Oh you dont want to cut grass.. I was speaking of a condo.. Ok live in the APT and throw you money away.. Hey how bout I buy a 20 grand house and keep the grass cut and you pay me??
This is a convo I am having with my cousin on the phone..
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
12:09 pm
@Kym- One thing he knows from Lorena’s past is if he is caught cheating and beating then its off with his head. (the little one)
M. (pronouced M dot)
June 25th, 2010
12:11 pm
@Melo
Coming to their rescue, being the knight in shining armour.
Dig That
June 25th, 2010
12:11 pm
@DK- Don’t waste too much time. I have a little cousin that I have had those same type of conversations with and unfortunately the logic level is not as high as your blood pressure will be if you think you will convince him of something that makes perfect sense.
Purple Rain
June 25th, 2010
12:11 pm
Swiss, my whole current life is based on a second chance. Heck my family friends and wife gave me a second chance from my criminal past and prison time.
Leggs - Beat It
June 25th, 2010
12:12 pm
@InfamousD ~ he’s young and just starting out, right??? Their brain cells are still trying to find that synapse labeled “Reality.”
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
12:13 pm
Swiss – I used to sell drugs. Now if I even suspect anything illegal is going on Im damn near running out the place. If you got more than a dub of dank on you I cant be around you and even then Im still not riding with you and that little dub. Now dont talk to me about drugs or try to get the hook up to my “Old Plug” cause Im gonna look at you and again walk expeditiously away from you.
Leggs - Cry
June 25th, 2010
12:13 pm
That cat jumped right out the bag! Not that you’re hiding anything, PR!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING
June 25th, 2010
12:14 pm
Leggs/Dig – Its a Girl… Its a She that Graduated from Spelman and she aint that young.. Shes almost 30.