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On the dating scene: what do you notice first?

If you take notice of any given event where a lot of single people are, you will probably get the sense that we aren’t exactly looking for one another.  It’s that whole “too cool for school” attitude that makes single people appear aloof and uninterested.

I don’t know why we do it all the time but it’s hard to break the habit.  Even at single mixers when the goal is to um mix and mingle, many people don’t like to appear over eager or too desperate.

I get that, I really do. I just wonder if we are so busy trying to appear like we aren’t pressed or interested in anyone, how do we ever link up!?  When you spot that person with that certain Je ne sais quoi, what do you notice first?

I am particularly curious to find out what the gentleman notice first.  I notice broad shoulders followed by the guy’s face.  After that, I pretty much start to swoon when I observe the way he carries himself and speaks intelligently.

Do you think that the things we notice first determines if we will give it a shot with someone new?  Does our first glance of a person’s image impact the amount of effort that we are willing to put forth? If so, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Think of the last person you asked out or went on a date with, what did you first notice about them?

What is the first thing you notice on a potential date?

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438 comments Add your comment

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
11:44 am

@PR ~ I’m good. How are things going with you? Is your new position all you hoped it to be?

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
11:45 am

Carlito,

i thought that’s what you meant ;)

Kym-Make me wanna holler..the way they do my life..

June 23rd, 2010
11:46 am

@Melo..I am slowly starting to not like this sport..I mean this is nerve wreaking.

SlimCuzIt'sTooDayumHot

June 23rd, 2010
11:46 am

I think I go from head to toe when looking at a dude…of course slowing down at the crotch area as I then use my ex-ray vision to get a closer look….then I see how his personality and mannerisms are.

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
11:47 am

Leggs – I think in a way you are both right. As irrational (as 4Real would say) as it is, Princess is right too. A lot of people are not out here actively looking for a mate, but if they happen to meet someone they think has potential, they behave accordingly. Unapproachable is unapproachable though. I would hope most know when they are displaying unapproachable behavior. Before I was in a relationship, some days I just was not for it, so I purposely put up that invisible “sheild”. You yourself said you feel pretty today and I bet you have an aura about you that is approachable. Yet you are comfortable with yourself and have no problem coming and going solo. Comfort with oneself is attractive and a magnet in itself.

I think your friend is just going with the flow, living her life and enjoying her singleness, but sure, if someone came along she felt was worth it, she would welcome the companionship.

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
11:47 am

Are we both right?

NOPE…she reminds us(guys) of that woman who roars <<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

that roar manifests itself not just in thought but in deeds and in her walk and in her body lingo to men..u cannot seperate that roar with the persona.

She cant turn around(that woman above and then say,”If the right man approaches me, i wil be married”

That man will never holla coz of that imaage she projects.

Kym-Make me wanna holler..the way they do my life..

June 23rd, 2010
11:49 am

GOAL!!! GOAL!!! DAMN WE SCORED A GOAL!!!

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
11:51 am

That man will never holla coz of that imaage she projects.

Melo – So you gotta look “hungry” to be approached?LOL! How about just look pleasant in your comings and goings?

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
11:51 am

I mean this is nerve wreaking

@Kym..the nerve wrecking part is the joy of the sport..yeah i know,its a paradox.

Its like beer and cocaine…it tastes bitter and gives u a gut(beer) and the other(coc) wrecks and ravages ur body and nose,but u like the inducement of feeling on top of the world..derived there from.

Thats the fun part of the sport..the near misses,the agggghhhhs and oooghhhhhs…

ull like it,trust me.

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
11:54 am

How about just look pleasant in your comings and goings?

@Kimmie!

Pleasant projects pleasant and approachable

looks dont lie

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
11:54 am

I thank you for your response, kimmie! {{{ssshhh}}}, I feel pretty just about everyday, just don’t say anything! :lol: Some days the sexiness is heightened for whatever reason (of course I’m viewing myself!!!)

Mike P

June 23rd, 2010
11:54 am

@ it’s me…lurker
i did mention intelligence, oh and you can simplify my list if you wish, if it beyour will to do so, happy hunting.

I’m gonna keep my list just as is for me, thank you very much. :D

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
11:54 am

@Kym..u in..congrats!

england go home!

SexyCool - Live. Laugh. Love.

June 23rd, 2010
11:55 am

First thing I notice – his overall attractiveness, whether there is *something* about him that appeals to me. Different men attract me for different reasons so, I don’t have an *all-the-time* first thing to notice.

It could be his smile, his eyes, that just from the barbershop fade, his voice, his height, his hands, the compliment that he paid to me, the fact that he held the door for me, what he’s wearing, what he’s driving (not a golddigger statement, I just admire nice cars.), his complexion, where he is, what he’s doing.

It just depends on the situation, my frame of mind and a couple of other variables on what I notice first. The thing is – once an individual has caught my eye, the question becomes whether or not there is enough there to keep me looking and then to peak my interest enough to want to explore a possible connection.

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
11:55 am

@Melo, thanks. Gotcha!!

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
11:57 am

Leggs, everything is going great and keeping me busy. I go to sleep every night by 10pm rather than staying up until midnight. :)

SexyCool - Live. Laugh. Love.

June 23rd, 2010
11:57 am

Kym – I’m going to have to take a bit of time to review that thesis that you sent. However, from the title alone, I can tell it’s going to be quite an interesting read.

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 23rd, 2010
11:57 am

poppin’ in for a sec!!!!!!

jam fest is sat WOOHOO!!!!!

personality, personality, personialty…..balance is importact how you interact…verbals nonverbals……your balnce within what setting we are in….I am a social butterfly and I love to soar…….lol

summer school is officially OVER! whew! on to the next thingy….summer 2010 is going well!

oh I LOVE my BB BOLD gang!!!! ;)

looks have never been #1 with me…..the lady who directed my wedding had mad jokes on my ex husband and they were racial starting with ebony and ivory lol…..I am looking for a great well rounded mate……looks have never dictated my selections per se……

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 23rd, 2010
11:59 am

@Mr_NYC your 10:07 is a great post!

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
12:00 pm

Pleasant projects pleasant and approachable

looks dont lie

Melo – That’s very true. I guess I took Leggs post about her friend was that she was comfortable with herself but that she welcomed companionship if it comes along. Like she isn’t going to put forth any extra effort to be “approached” but if she is and likes what she sees, cool.

CoolShadow

June 23rd, 2010
12:01 pm

Like any of the fellas, I’m pulled in by the physicality (the eyes, smile, legs, shape, curves and proportionality) but it’s the disposition that helps me decide if I want to learn more about her. If she’s receptive and cordial, I’m drawn in more. If there’s a nice conversation, a certain intelligence and witty banter, it’s on. But if she’s got a stank attitude or acting like she’s doing me a favor by engaging me in conversation with a two-word max response to my comments and queries, I fade out or just walk off.

But what can be really interesting is when someone possesses je ne sais quoi while there are women there who appear to be more attractive but that person has a certain ‘something something’ going for them.

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
12:03 pm

hey Lady j!!!

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
12:04 pm

@Carlito, how are ya?

@Melo so tell me who will win the soccer championship? What do you think about that coach from France not shaking hands with the other coach.

I need something good for lernch

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 23rd, 2010
12:04 pm

say hello to all my morning shout outs!!!!!! MIA is rockin’!!!!!! ok be back later have errands to run!

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 23rd, 2010
12:05 pm

hey pk chica!!!!!!! (((((((girlfriend hugs honey))))))))))))) have a good day chica!!! my day is off to an awesome start! ;)

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 23rd, 2010
12:06 pm

meant saying hello!

hey leggs!

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
12:06 pm

I need something good for lernch

@ Professor, I just had the best salad! I made it myself and it was sooooooo good. Spinach, cucumbers, bellpepers, grilled chicken, mandarin oranges and raspberry vinagrette

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
12:07 pm

While we are talking about what we notice first. Tell me what have the opposite sex told you they noticed about you?

I’ve been told that my skin, smile, swagger aka personality, and bodyyyyyyyyyy. I don’t have much of a body if you ask me, so I am not sure how that one made the list.

Mr_NYC

June 23rd, 2010
12:08 pm

@Lady J — Thanks — It crossed my mind because I’m starting to live it and I love it — glad I stepped out of my box.

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
12:09 pm

Professor, I am wonderful how are you? :) Omygosh, oooooohhhhh mygosh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. LOL

Lady J, have you figured out the equation beside my name? I already told you the answer, think really hard. LOL

india

June 23rd, 2010
12:09 pm

hey purple rain , i love all men of color, i just mentioned black men because i saw alot of them, i’m from a very small town near huntington wv and there are’nt too many people of color, so it’s nice to see them

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
12:09 pm

Professor

I’ve been told it was my eyes on numerous occasions, but i’ve also been told my booty, my beauty, my soft spoken personality.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
12:10 pm

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=24519920&Gt1=32023

This is a pretty good list. 19 things you should not say to single people.

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
12:10 pm

Professor, I am told about my height, my hair, my smile and “Every time I see you, you smell good” :)

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
12:11 pm

@LadyJ ~ Hello. Loving your attitude…keep it up!

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
12:12 pm

My walk first and foremost, my legs, my smile, my shoot from hip personality!

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
12:12 pm

Like she isn’t going to put forth any extra effort to be “approached”
@Kimmie??

For any woman out there who is pleasant and nice and has an easy smile,what wld be an “extra effort ” in disposition, to be approached..other than being patently thirsty??

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
12:13 pm

“Every time I see you, you smell good”

C-lo, nothing like a good smelling man, even if its just the “clean smell” u know manly soap and deodorant, versus no smell at all and heaven forbid stanky!

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
12:16 pm

india, first you said you were from Ohio in your first blog entry now you are saying you are from wv? It’s cool people lie on the internet all of the time. There are many “shades” of people that are attractive in Atlanta. :)

Watch out for my Horse.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
12:16 pm

@PK that salad sounds good.

@ Carlito, Baby Imma star!

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
12:16 pm

@Professor??

right now i fancy Brazil and argentina…

france’ss coach is a dog,literally, like the rest of his professional dogs/players that lost,got embarased and were sent home.

What time is it?

June 23rd, 2010
12:17 pm

I look for a pleasant smile, cute face, then if she is an eclectic dresser. Sometimes, I want a relationship that I am more in love with the woman, than she is with me. But it’s good when she loves you more than you love her. One woman bought me a car, now that’s love…she took it back when we broke up. That’s the way love goes.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
12:18 pm

@Carlito I see why Julia swooped you up! Tall and smelling goooooooooooooooood! In the words of MR LURKER YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :grin:

@Leggs I figured legs would be on the list, but I thought some of the guys would shy away from the calling a spade a spade style.

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
12:19 pm

Two songs in one…What Time Is It and That’s The Way Love Goes!

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
12:20 pm

@What time is it? What kind of car? Were you driving a hoop-ty the reason she bought you are car? :grin:

@Melo well said I found it a disgrace for a coach to behave like that.

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
12:22 pm

@Prof ~ shooting from the hip doesn’t necessarily equate with calling a spade a spade everytime I open my mouth. I call it out when I need to call it out, not an everyday occurrence. I just know the smell of smoke when it’s trying to be blown up my a$$.

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
12:25 pm

Professor, she did not put up to much of a fight. LOL

JtJ

June 23rd, 2010
12:25 pm

Hey gang!!

I always notice a nice smile and pretty teeth!! I get complimented on my own teeth so much, I am just drawn to the mouth first. You can be fine-as-all-get-out, but if the grill is jacked up, it is such a turn off. (not that mine are perfectly straight, but they are white..lol) I had a guy ask me if my teeth were real once…lol.

After the smile, I take in the whole face, and then the body, followed by his conversation and demeanor. I don’t call anyone ugly, because someone in this world thinks that I am..so I make it a point to not say that about anyone. If a guy is walking ahead of me, of course, I would check out the body 1st!!! I don’t have an issue with height, mostly cause I have never dated anyone shorter than me. With certain heels on, I stand head to head with JT, he hates this when we go out!

*@ ARED* …are you still going to the ATL Summer Jam?? We are going to Echelon (sp?) or Taboo 2 afterwards. I am so looking forward to it!!

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
12:26 pm

Leggs, why is someone smoking that close to your a$$? LOL

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
12:26 pm

@Leggs

Maybe we are having a lexical gap, but both are the same in my book. How many men you know long to be called out on BS and have an innate requirement for this trait?