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On the dating scene: what do you notice first?

If you take notice of any given event where a lot of single people are, you will probably get the sense that we aren’t exactly looking for one another.  It’s that whole “too cool for school” attitude that makes single people appear aloof and uninterested.

I don’t know why we do it all the time but it’s hard to break the habit.  Even at single mixers when the goal is to um mix and mingle, many people don’t like to appear over eager or too desperate.

I get that, I really do. I just wonder if we are so busy trying to appear like we aren’t pressed or interested in anyone, how do we ever link up!?  When you spot that person with that certain Je ne sais quoi, what do you notice first?

I am particularly curious to find out what the gentleman notice first.  I notice broad shoulders followed by the guy’s face.  After that, I pretty much start to swoon when I observe the way he carries himself and speaks intelligently.

Do you think that the things we notice first determines if we will give it a shot with someone new?  Does our first glance of a person’s image impact the amount of effort that we are willing to put forth? If so, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Think of the last person you asked out or went on a date with, what did you first notice about them?

What is the first thing you notice on a potential date?

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438 comments Add your comment

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
10:11 am

@kimmie ~ a new person in the bldg asked if I was a model. He said I was beautiful, which is in the eye of the beholder but for now, I’ll take that he beholded me (LOLOLOL). That was a nice compliment. Also, kimmie, waiting for my junk email to come across. Sometimes, emails drop in there that shouldn’t go there.

Anyway, you guys know I don’t like wrinkles, and I’m not talking about clothes that get wrinkled over the course of the day. I’m talking about coming out of the house in wrinkled garmets. Unfortunately, that may stop me a little in my tracks. Something that hopefully can be remedied.

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
10:12 am

PrincessNik – I’m 5′11″

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
10:14 am

Here is a thought I’ve always said huhmmm about:

It amazes me when people talk about the features they like and particularly folks they think they may marry & have children with.

I’ve always looked at faces/features because more than likely those are the main determinant of what a child is going to look like. Yes, physical build and fitness is wonderful and often a determinant of overall health. Yes, if both of you are tall it’s likely they may end up being tall too. But no kid is coming out of the womb with a six-pack or cut biceps! Big eyes, a small nose, dimples, big ears, whatever, that is likely what will be passed down lookswise.

Just an observation.

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
10:15 am

@kimmie ~ don’t forget height and features can skip a generation.

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:15 am

Ared,

I was just curious, I have a homegirl who is 5′11 if not 6′ and she loooooves heels. Every time we go to homecoming we have to go to the mall to buy her some flats to walk the tailgate area and i think she disposes of the immediately following LOL.

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
10:15 am

Well, maybe not features, but definitely height.

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
10:16 am

kimmie – A fast metabolism is always a good thing to pass down to tho. :lol:

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:17 am

Professor – Stop taking all the tall ones.

@ARED I have a good friend that is 6 even and she tells me that all of the time. :grin: I wear heels so I would like to think I am 5′9 if that helps my argument.

For Real (Juice)

June 23rd, 2010
10:17 am

Things I notice about a chick:

1. Eyes/Teeth – They tell me all I need to know w/o asking

2. Overall body type

3. Ankle to Calve Ratio

4. Butt

5. Breastestessess

6. Hair

7. Hands/Feet

After all of that, then I request a baby picture.

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
10:17 am

PrincessNik – No problem. I didn’t mention it before because I’ve been hollering how tall I am on here for so long I figured everyone knew it already.

I do love me some heels too. But it’s something I’ve only discovered in the last couple years (after taking my pole dancing classes). Before I was a very modest heel wearer.

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
10:17 am

Leggs – That kind of compliment does make you feel wonderful!

YepYup

June 23rd, 2010
10:18 am

Personality is the kicker for me. If she’s self-absorbed or just plain mean, then I don’t care how hot she is.

The deal-breaker, for me at least, is smoking. That has to be the single biggest turn-off, at least to me.

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:19 am

Leggs

you are so right about the skipping a generation thing, not to mention the combination of genetics. My daughters father has hazel eyes, however my daughter is the only one of his children to have inherited them. Her brother and sister look just like their mother (dark-skinned, all her features), but my daughter looks biracial. His sister’s daughter who is biracial and my daughter look like sisters so much so its kinda scary LOL.

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
10:21 am

Height can definitely skip, I’ve seen it happen. But you know what I’m talking about.

Amred – Fast metabolism is a wonderful thing! But, I’ve seen it skip too.

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:21 am

Ared,

i figured from your moniker you were pretty tall, but i’ve only been blogging about 6 months or so. Guess i missed the previous declarations LOL.

Harlot

June 23rd, 2010
10:25 am

Money first, body second—that’s all that matters.

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
10:25 am

That’s why the key to the whole skipping thing is to make sure you overpower the gene pool! My dad married a tall woman and they had three tall daughters. The daughters married tall men. Their children already off the charts tall. :lol:

No one better veer from the program and marry short! :lol:

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:27 am

PK I was wondering how long you’ve been blogging I knew it was less than a year, tho. I know ARed took sometime off because of work and traveling so she did not blog for a minute. In fact, we gave her a welcome back par-tay.

For Real (Follow the Leader)

June 23rd, 2010
10:28 am

1. I’m ___ tall with my heels on is still just funny to me.

2. I want to make a personal plea to all the tall woman (aka tall not in their heels) to please wear your heels!!!

Urine Van Der Slut

June 23rd, 2010
10:28 am

I look at their neck first …

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
10:29 am

I know ARed took sometime off because of work and traveling so she did not blog for a minute. In fact, we gave her a welcome back par-tay.

:lol:

Yeah, PrincessNik wasn’t here when I left but was here when I got back in March. I thought for sure I’d been dropping my stats ever since! :lol:

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:33 am

Random Thought: I see a lot of short guys wearing timberlands and bulky shoes to give them an extra inch or two. I wonder if those are considered high heels for men. :???:

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
10:33 am

I see Harlot is back!

Speaking about high metabolism, I actually called Mama last week to thank her for the good genes she and my father gave to me. She started laughing!

M. (pronouced Mdot)

June 23rd, 2010
10:34 am

3rd Day of Summer..

When I am out and about mixing, I notice a few things..

1. Teeth-I am a stickler on this no matter what.
2. Her attitude and outward personality. Is she scowling and looking stuck up like she does not want to be here?
3. I look at her friends or the company that she is around. Your friends are a reflection of you.
4. Reception-Is she receptive to me and my conversation, this is a social event so she should have come to socialize right? I also make sure she is paying attention not gazing off and also not being short with me.

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:35 am

Professor,

maybe the timb’s are to keep them from blowing away j/k

those are some heavy shoes though i had a pair i wore maybe 3 times cause they made my feel feel weighted down.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:35 am

I thought for sure I’d been dropping my stats ever since!

@ARED I can’t remember, all I know is I am glad you remove the Lakers from your moniker. I am waiting for you to add the Mighty HAWKS.

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
10:36 am

Looks like uall going to marry/couple up with well nourished,nice body and easy face types with nice peronalities.

So who is marrying/coupling up with all these uglies?? :lol:

WHO????

Sassy Me...The Real Deal In Stereo:-)

June 23rd, 2010
10:36 am

This should be good today…I’m in the beginning stages of a 6 hour experiment so I’ll be baack later when I can pontificate on the subject(hey Dan!)

Leggs,Lady J and la Professoraaaaa make it do what it do ladies :)

I feel pretty today!

That’s what’s up Leggs!!

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:37 am

@Pk you are so wrong :grin: not blowing away!

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
10:38 am

Professor – It was just a joke. I stopped doing that long ago ;)

Um…don’t hold your breath on the Hawks thing! :lol:

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:39 am

Professor i could not resist. :lol:

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:40 am

Melo I will take a smart, tall, nice teeth, great smile and knows how to treat a woman type man that is below average in looks. I have enough genes to carry him in that department. :wink:

Seriously melo, the “uglies” don’t know they are ugly so they are getting married and stuff too. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Hey Sassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy!!!!!

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
10:43 am

That’s why the key to the whole skipping thing is to make sure you overpower the gene pool!

Amred – LOL!! But I think you are right!

Kym-Make me wanna holler..the way they do my life..

June 23rd, 2010
10:45 am

I really would like the USA to make a goal before half-time..

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
11:13 am

the “uglies” don’t know they are ugly so they are getting married and stuff too

@Proff??

yeah,u put every uglie at ease with that professorial comment. Every uglie was looking at my 10.36 like :roll: :evil: but looking at themselvs up in the mirror anyway like :-)

thanx

:lol: :lol:

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
11:14 am

@Kym ~ your email was in my junk email folder. Will retrieve and read. Interesting concept!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

June 23rd, 2010
11:16 am

I have found that tricks that think they are all that are really not they got nasty azz attitudes. I’ll take a Sweet chick over one of them any day.

Mike P

June 23rd, 2010
11:24 am

What I first notice in a woman:
1. Face & eyes (glimpse in your soul, can also determine if within my dating age range)
2. teeth & smile
3. body shape, body type
4. body size
5. height & skin complexion
6. breast
7. butt, hips, & waist
8. communication style, youthfulness, & level of maturity
9. personality (femininity? submissiveness? intelligence? adventurous? compatibility? baggage? & overall attitude).
10. hair (is it long, natural & carefree?)
11. overall low maintenance.

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
11:29 am

@Kym..now that England have scored, i am more tempted to go watch the USA game and see these soccer jokkers lose to them african arabs.

My bet and mandatory requirement for them american_soccer johnies_come_lately!!?:..if USA lose,all the players will be mandated to wear that Arab(head cloth) thingy on their heads,complete with arab flowing white robe when they land at Hartsfield and NY keenedy airports. :lol: :lol:

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
11:30 am

I am actually having a debate with a friend who says she enjoys being by herself, coming and going as she please and not answering to any man. Yet, in the same breath she says she wants to be married. I feel you can’t “realistically” get into a relationship if your mind and heart isn’t feeling it….you can’t seek that which you don’t want. You can’t project something you want if you aren’t walking, acting like this is what you want. You want to be alone, you will be alone. If you want to be married, act like and stop being alone!

Her response: But under the right circumstances, you will walk, act and project that if you really want it. You won’t do those things until you encounter someone who brings that out in you.

My response: How the heck are you going to get someone to even notice you? That desire has to manifest itself in you BEFORE meeting that person!

Are we both right?

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
11:32 am

Professor,

sometimes people don’t know what they really want until they actually have it :)

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
11:32 am

Face, then body if those are to my liking I find out more about the attitude. If you pace your self you can have a beautiful person on the inside and the outside. Some people will say it is not all about looks, the ones that say that have usually had to compromise in the looks department with their mate….or maybe not but looks are a great plus…especially when there is a beautiful body matching the pretty face. If you take your time and not rush in there are plenty of beautiful people in the world. Just hold out and don’t get caught up with an ugly. LOL.

I’m saying my chick bad
My chick hood
My chick do stuff that yo’ chick wish she could
My chick bad, badder than yours
My chick do stuff that I can’t even put in words
Her swagger don’t stop
Her body won’t quit
So fool pipe down you ain’t talkin’ about shyyt

I’m on a horse!!!

india

June 23rd, 2010
11:34 am

i was in atlanta 2 weeks ago and i noticed the color of the black mens skin , such beautiful tones, i’m from ohio and was in atlanta for vacation

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
11:35 am

india, what about is “olive” men? LOL

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
11:37 am

olive skin toned men…olive men pick olives for our martinis!

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
11:38 am

If you take your time and not rush in there are plenty of beautiful people in the world. Just hold out and don’t get caught up with an ugly.

@ Carlito, so since physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the above statement could also apply to attitudes and morals (or lack thereof)?

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
11:38 am

Leggs, How are you? LOL

It's me....lurker

June 23rd, 2010
11:39 am

1. Face & eyes (glimpse in your soul, can also determine if within my dating age range)
2. teeth & smile
3. body shape, body type
4. body size
5. height & skin complexion
6. breast
7. butt, hips, & waist
8. communication style, youthfulness, & level of maturity
9. personality (femininity? submissiveness? intelligence? adventurous? compatibility? baggage? & overall attitude).
10. hair (is it long, natural & carefree?)
11. overall low maintenance.

No brain? Just wondering.

It's me....lurker

June 23rd, 2010
11:40 am

Mike P, allow me to simplify your list:

Body and willingness but cheap to keep…LOL

Purple Rain (PR*2 or JG*2)=G3

June 23rd, 2010
11:41 am

PrincessNik, exactly I am saying do not compromise any of your standards. Looks are not the only standard but it is the one that is the most compromised. Never ever compromise your standards. LOL