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On the dating scene: what do you notice first?

If you take notice of any given event where a lot of single people are, you will probably get the sense that we aren’t exactly looking for one another.  It’s that whole “too cool for school” attitude that makes single people appear aloof and uninterested.

I don’t know why we do it all the time but it’s hard to break the habit.  Even at single mixers when the goal is to um mix and mingle, many people don’t like to appear over eager or too desperate.

I get that, I really do. I just wonder if we are so busy trying to appear like we aren’t pressed or interested in anyone, how do we ever link up!?  When you spot that person with that certain Je ne sais quoi, what do you notice first?

I am particularly curious to find out what the gentleman notice first.  I notice broad shoulders followed by the guy’s face.  After that, I pretty much start to swoon when I observe the way he carries himself and speaks intelligently.

Do you think that the things we notice first determines if we will give it a shot with someone new?  Does our first glance of a person’s image impact the amount of effort that we are willing to put forth? If so, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Think of the last person you asked out or went on a date with, what did you first notice about them?

What is the first thing you notice on a potential date?

View Results

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438 comments Add your comment

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 23rd, 2010
8:06 am

Good Morning Good People!!!!

Cute Topic!!!!

I will be back later!!!

Happy Hump Day!

Wise Diva

June 23rd, 2010
8:06 am

Good morning lovelies! Remember to take the poll and no jokes about my lame attempt at humor please and thank you.

Kym-You wouldn't know it by looking at me but...

June 23rd, 2010
8:15 am

Good Morning All,

A hour in and already I want to go back home. Wisey could you please post your email addy again. I have an interesting “article” I would like to share with you.

On-Topic>> I notice attitude. I may like your build and face..but it is the conversation that will draw me in. One..I do not like soft spoken men, I like a man to look and sound like a man. I like a guy who can hold a conversation. If the intro conversation can not hold my attention..that’s a wrap.

Off-Topic but not really>> I can’t believe I missed a perfectly good blog on politics yesterday!!

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
8:29 am

Hola!

The first things I notice: height, smile, teeth, eyes and haircut. I see all of these things at the same time. Hmmmmmm I am a sucker for a man with a nice smile.

What’s up Lady J!

mqew

June 23rd, 2010
8:29 am

FIRST – Definitely the body. The body will determine if I’ll even want to find out about the attitude… Tad bit shallow I know but hey, it is what it is.

mqew

June 23rd, 2010
8:32 am

Morning Lady J, Professor, Kym… Try to stay cool today :-)

joe

June 23rd, 2010
8:36 am

OK, Let’s be real, Here’s what every dude would say if honest: If she’s a-commin, the twwiins, if she’s a-goin, the hiii-nee. Can I get an AMEN, brothas?? After that, personality rules the day…

Richard

June 23rd, 2010
8:37 am

I go with face but that is too brief. My initial concentration is 4 parts=-=hair, eyes, lips and there better be brains evident when mouth opens. The body comes later kind of like a bonus…[R]

Wise Diva

June 23rd, 2010
8:39 am

Morrus

June 23rd, 2010
8:39 am

Curiously, in a supposed anti-incumbent year, most of the departing are not retiring but seeking higher office. We may recycle more than we replace. The bad news is that a frustrating 114 seats still have but one contestant. Two of them aren’t even incumbents, meaning they will affect state policy without being vetted by voters. And I have to think that we’d be better off if many had run instead for the Legislature — and cut down on the number running unopposed. Georgia’s problems are numerous. They aren’t going away. There’s too much stale thinking at the Capitol, on both sides of the aisle. New voices would be welcome.

Sultana

June 23rd, 2010
8:45 am

I stared at his face and he smiled at me…umhum – i said
I went to his body and it looked firm with a slight stomach – you know the kind you can lay on
Then i checked out his love below…he stood like he knew something – :)
But what sold me after checking it all out…was his shoes and socks…..wow!

Trevor0529

June 23rd, 2010
8:46 am

Good Morning LadyJ, Kym, and Professor!! How is everyone?

@joe, PREACH ON BRUH!!

:)

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
8:49 am

Good Morning all!

IF a guy has dimples that is the very first thing i notice, I am a fool for dimples! (see Lamman Rucker ;) ) Otherwise the first thing i tend to notice is how he carries himself/Does he have a certain swag about him: Is he confident? Does he treat those around him respectfully, is he dressed neatly

Suga&Spice

June 23rd, 2010
8:55 am

For me it goes in this order..Height, Attitude(how he carries himself), Skin, Teeth.

Kym-You wouldn't know it by looking at me but...

June 23rd, 2010
8:56 am

I look at Height too!!!

Shaquitta Jackson-Lee

June 23rd, 2010
8:58 am

The size of his wallet grabs my attention !

itpdude

June 23rd, 2010
9:03 am

How do we link up? Alcohol.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
9:05 am

Wassup mqew, Trevor (how is school going BTW?)</strong?

@Suga & Spice the skin is a good one…me don't like razor bumps on the face and all over the back of the head. :wink:

On yea my sense of smell will kick in too, there is nothing like a good smelling man.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
9:12 am

Ok let me try this again…the blog ate my post.

Wassup mqew and Trevor! Trevor how is school going?

@Suga&Spice I notice skin too, razor bumps are not my thingy.

It's me....lurker

June 23rd, 2010
9:12 am

How he carries himself, inwardly and outwardly first…teeth, height, a VERY good and balanced mixture of brain and that stuff you can’t get in a book. The WORST is a dude that’s too smart for his own good. Can’t understand nothing, EVERYTHING goes over his head cause it wasn’t written down anywhere. He can be as sexy as ever but if he don’t possess that balance, nothing about him is cute and is a total turn off

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
9:17 am

Wassup PK! Where have you been?

Kym-You wouldn't know it by looking at me but...

June 23rd, 2010
9:17 am

Leggs and SexyCool..please check your emails. Thank you

You didn’t expect Prince Charming to be this short

June 23rd, 2010
9:21 am

Kind eyes!! Ladies you give a lot away by the eyes. Then I check out the shoes. I know it is cliché but women do like when you notice the shoes fit the outfit, plus it is the perfect excuse to check out the rest of her without being a jerk about it.

Beautiful

June 23rd, 2010
9:25 am

gmorn!

i notice height and chest build! BUT, since i’m a internet dater, i prefer to notice their intellect first. cus then when i meet them the height and chest don’t matta.

example: my dude is 5′8!!! my rule was 5′10 and over. if i were to had met him out & about, he might’ve gotten passed up. *jus sayin’*

Beautiful

June 23rd, 2010
9:27 am

@Wise,
can you have your folks fix the *see all* on your FB page? i would like to view the friends list. thanks in advance!

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
9:33 am

Hey Professor!

Summer is really busy around here. I’ve been peeping in the last few days but haven’t really had time to jump in.

I like a dude with some height also, but thats not a dealbreaker for me. As long as i don’t tower over him in heels we good ;)

Mr_NYC

June 23rd, 2010
9:35 am

Good Morning Folks
I second your motion Joe. That’s the way it sometimes works. Next though I am anxious to listen to how she expresses herself and observe how she interacts with others. Is she open-minded, positive, and upbeat? I want to engage in good conversation and have a memorable time.

Kym-Make me wanna holler..the way they do my life..

June 23rd, 2010
9:38 am

@Princess..I should just put it out there..height will break the deal. I just can’t…I tried..I just can’t..men who only come chest high..need not apply.

Leggs

June 23rd, 2010
9:40 am

Good morning!

Kym ~ haven’t received anything yet.

I notice his teeth first, then I move to actually looking at his entire face, then I notice his clothes (including shoes), then his overall body. After all that, I notice his attitude, how he talks and if he has “wolf eyes.” Don’t care for those hungry “wolf eyes.”

I feel pretty today!

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
9:44 am

Morning all –

Y’all know I notice how tall he is first. And if he’s cute with no wedding band, I’ll make sure he’ll notice me too. :lol:

I do take note of his overall attitude too. He’ll be the one mingling and having a good time. And he won’t be doing lame ish like wearing sunglasses inside at night. :arrow:

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
9:46 am

Kym i’m with you on the “only comes to the chest”, however i’m only 5′6 myself so its pretty easy to find someone taller than me LOL

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
9:48 am

And he won’t be doing lame ish like wearing sunglasses inside at night.

LOL I have seen that move before :grin:

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
9:50 am

Morning Lovely Blog Folks!

I notice the face and all that compose it – kind eyes, nice teeth are a must, smooth skin and dimples are nice! I don’t go for the “intense, hard, complicated” thing at all. I like a pleasant, welcoming expression. No undressing me with the eyes or giving me the up & down once-over like he’s looking down his nose at me.

Leggs- Feeling pretty is nice, makes you feel good & your day go well!

Raqi

June 23rd, 2010
9:53 am

It’s that whole “too cool for school” attitude that makes single people appear aloof and uninterested

Reading this I thought back to something I read a few nights ago. It says “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly” which made me think of something I heard a few times when I was attempting to start dating after a breakup many years ago. “You have to be approachable if you want men to approach you”. This doesn’t mean be overly flirty and desperate but it means what it means. If you stand there acting uninterested you will be looked right over. And even worse, when you present yourself as doing someone a favor by parting your lips to say hello you will get passed right over.

That’s just what I thought about reading that line.

As for the whole topic itself, a nice smile used to always get my attention.

Now that you mention it I need to go on a date tonight. A grown up no kids in sight kind of date.

Mr_NYC

June 23rd, 2010
9:53 am

Interesting thought — I wonder how many folks are with someone now who they initially thought fell into the “deal breaker” category as far as some physical characteristic or social quality is concerned.

TexasBoy

June 23rd, 2010
9:54 am

Welcome to summer everyone!
The first thing I notice on a woman is their eyebrows. Especially the nice pretty thick ones!

Trevor0529

June 23rd, 2010
9:55 am

@Professor,

School is going well. I am busy every day studying and writing. I will master the APA style very soon. Thank you for asking.

:)

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
9:55 am

Mr_NYC probably more people than who are willing to admit. My sister who is borderline OCD (my diagnosis ;) ) has a LT boyfriend who is a slob. I don’t even know how they co-exist sometimes LOL.

kimmie

June 23rd, 2010
9:55 am

Kym i’m with you on the “only comes to the chest”, however i’m only 5′6 myself so its pretty easy to find someone taller than me

Kym/Princess – I’m with you on that too, I’ve tried giving short a chance but it just didn’t work out. Now Princess, you’d be surprised – I’m only 5′5′ so you would think it would be easy for me to meet a dude that was at least taller than me with my heels on. So not the case with me for awhile – it seemed like I was the short-dude magnet! And yeah a dude is REALLY short if he’s shorter than me without my heels on!LOL!!

Melo

June 23rd, 2010
10:00 am

Morning folks…..

I notice the legs and body(in that order),then height…if legs are popping and everything is in proportion(tatas and the lovely rump steak)..the face is not necessarily as important if the personality is good. The face dont get that much cred..

She gotta fade to dark…thats a psychological default i just have,I am sorry! :lol: cant help it!

Enjoy ur day folks.

Mark

June 23rd, 2010
10:02 am

First thing I notice is she’s black because that’s important!!! Sistas only next how she carries herself!

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:02 am

Kimmie, I feel ya on the short dude magnet LOL, my daughters father is probably about an inch taller than me maybe 2 }}}shrug{{{ and this last guy i was talking to may have 3 inches on me but they are the exception. I don’t rule guys out based on height (unless they are miniature) But i will say there is nothing like a man you can look up to in both senses of the phrase. ;)

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:02 am

Mr_NYC that is a good question. I know of a few women that only dated tall men that were in shape, but married short men that look like speed bumps (short & wide). I know of a man that hide his GF from us in college (she is now his wife). He had all of these expectations: size four, coke bottle shape, degree, nice car, beautiful face, must be greek, etc etc and he married none of that and hide her from us during the early stages.

Mr_NYC

June 23rd, 2010
10:03 am

@Raqi — read my mind on your statement.
Its true some times, if a lady has that “aura” about her that she’s doing me a favor just to speak, then I move on. I know some times folks don’t want to be bothered, but a smile goes a long way.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:03 am

Mark, welcome to the blog I saw you a day or so ago, but I thought you were just passing thru.

Professor

June 23rd, 2010
10:05 am

@PK I have never dated a guy under 6′0 and I am 5′5.

Mr_NYC

June 23rd, 2010
10:07 am

I had to bring up the point because I find that some times when folks go with their heart and give the checklist a break amazing things can happen.

AmazonRed™

June 23rd, 2010
10:09 am

I have never dated a guy under 6′0 and I am 5′5.

Professor – Stop taking all the tall ones. :lol:

I’ve dated no shorter than 5′9″, but the pickings were slim in those cities anyway. Since I’ve been in Atlanta I haven’t gone shorter than 6′2″

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:09 am

Professor aint nothing wrong with that. :) MOST of they guys I have dated have been 6 footers but sometimes an average height guy catches my eye, and maybe my heart ;)

PrincessNik....heir to the throne of FABULOSITY

June 23rd, 2010
10:11 am

Ared,

if you don’t mind me asking, how tall are you?