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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating politics: Wise Diva goes to Washington

On Friday, I flew to Washington, DC last week to attend a really unique conference called the Blogging While Brown conference. I did not know what to expect because I had never been to a blogging conference.  I knew it would be interesting when I received a cryptic email that some conference attendees would have a chance to speak to White House staff members at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building I pretty much became a basket case from that moment.

We had a chance to meet with Corey Ealons, Director of African American Media and Coordinator of Special Projects and  Jesse Lee, Online Programs Director.  They were both very kind and engaging and we had a great discussion about politics, education, technology, etc.

They talked about the need for people to become more involved in the political process and the national discussion using various forums and platforms online, especially through whitehouse.gov.  A lot of people don’t feel as if they have a voice or influence on what goes on in our country. This site provides an outlet to engage and interact with the policymakers.

It made me think about how much our politics make up who we are.  I certainly learned a lot about myself and my friends in the last presidential election.  I think it definitely becomes a  part of how we view potential partners as compatible or not.

Do you think the politics and dating relationships should mix?  Would you be brave enough to bring up a hot button political topic when you are on a date?

I can recall being on a date with a white guy who made some pretty provocative statements about black women and politics.  I have to admit that it made me gun shy for a long time about dating outside my race.  Do you think that our politics have to match in order for us to date successfully?

241 comments Add your comment

Professor

June 22nd, 2010
1:01 pm

@I am…the zoo is my choice, but slim made a good point regarding the heat. Noah’s Ark is nice, but you will hit traffic around the Farmer’s market exit so I would not suggest making that drive today.

Professor

June 22nd, 2010
1:02 pm

Yellow River Game Ranch is nice, but still outdoors. I love going there spring and fall.

Leggs

June 22nd, 2010
1:05 pm

I’ve read some of the comments. Got up to blogging with Bob Barr and nearly bit my tongue. He’s the only person I know who steadfastedly operated on the brown paper bag theory!

Anyway, what’s the topic?

Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......

June 22nd, 2010
1:08 pm

hey ladies…..

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
1:19 pm

im trying/decodomg if i shld go downstairs to get some forks and knives for my lernch..my lernch is riight hee(yes hee) on ma desk…..

u think spreadsheet lady might poison my lernch.

dont tell me blog will sue her if i die…

I be dead already! :-)

I am whatever you say I am

June 22nd, 2010
1:20 pm

Enter your comments here

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
1:24 pm

I am whatever you say I am

June 22nd, 2010
1:30 pm

LOL @ monkeys selling $1 water

I think I’ll hit up zoo. I thought that it would be less crowded as well but I wanted to see if you guys could offer any other suggestions.

Thanks Slim and Professor for the Noah’s ark choice. I’ll have to google that one day and plan it for future trip.

Hopefully today won’t be that bad. I have on my moomoo (http://s7d2.scene7.com/s7ondemand/zoom/flasht_zoom.jsp?company=NewYorkCompany&config=p2_config&sku=07724856&vc=selItem%3DNewYorkCompany/07724856%2C199%2C%26singleImageSwatch%3Dtrue%26itemdesc%3DThe%20City%20Strapless%20Maxi%20Dress%20-%20Tropical%20Print%26initialFrame%3D0%26codeRoot%3D%2Fis-viewers-3.7%2Fflash%2F&viewer=%2Fskins%2FNewYorkCompany%2FSWFs%2Fnycogenericzoom.swf&zoomheight=740&zoomwidth=700

Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......

June 22nd, 2010
1:37 pm

is recess over where is everyone……lol

I am whatever you say I am

June 22nd, 2010
1:40 pm

I’m out!

Peaces!!!!

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
1:46 pm

Is the recess over where is everyone……lol

Unless there is sexx or a blog fight,this thing crawls..

get raunchy,everybody comes back and those that fake the funk dissappear only to reapper in different,fake blog monikkerS.

cant do politico in dating blog…NO NO

SlimCutty

June 22nd, 2010
1:48 pm

Lady J – I’m still trying to hang in there but being on the blog these days is like watching paint dry lol

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
1:52 pm

SlimCutty?? ladyJ?? Proff??

so do uall ladies want me to and approve of me stirring UP some shyytt??? :lol:

Wise Diva

June 22nd, 2010
1:53 pm

I absolutely love that I can never predict the types of comments and discussion that will take place. Thanks for weighing in on this guys, I wondered how other folks felt about politics and how much to share when you first date

Wise Diva

June 22nd, 2010
1:53 pm

Melo you know you really don’t need to do that LOL

Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......

June 22nd, 2010
1:54 pm

awwwww no drama melo we will be cool for the summer it is hot enough outside…….lol

slim I am here too….worked this morning now @ school working on this paper then class @ 6…….I was coming on here to play….lol

Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......

June 22nd, 2010
1:55 pm

Hey WD………

SlimCutty

June 22nd, 2010
2:01 pm

melo – ya think?

Wise Diva

June 22nd, 2010
2:02 pm

Hey Lady J! How is your day going

SlimCutty

June 22nd, 2010
2:03 pm

‘I was coming on here to play’

Lady J – sort of reminds me of being back in elementary school when it was time to pick people for their kickball teams and I be the last one standing and only got chosen by default. lol

Leggs

June 22nd, 2010
2:03 pm

Today I am training a new employee on how to send merged files to our clients and I am about to pull my hair out. I find it absolutely AMAZING that she knows NOTHING about our clients and how we responde with them.. Gives me the uncanny feeling that her resume was fudged!!! Anyhoo, I need an icee since I can’t drink for helping her out!!! I won’t squeal on her. Melo, something akin to your spreadsheet workwife!

Wise Diva

June 22nd, 2010
2:06 pm

Leggs, don’t you just hate that, you are stuck with the clueless newbie and she is getting over. For shame

Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......

June 22nd, 2010
2:06 pm

WD it is going being productive! hope yours is well too!

Slim funny you made me think of 3rd grade and recess for real! lol

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:11 pm

Gives me the uncanny feeling that her resume was fudged!!!

@Leggs??

I think the same think about this workwife u bestowing on me..how did somebody hire this dunder head of a person??

Dont they do internships anymore etc…besides,class projects shld be so high tech 2010 so much so that when kids get into corporate careers,they can do outlook,excel,word and power point to a a good competent level.

SlimCutty

June 22nd, 2010
2:17 pm

Leggs – speaking of training, we got a new lady here at my job about a month ago. I swear she is like Drew Barrymore in that movie 50 First Dates because it seems like her brain resets every single day. Why are we still going over stuff from day 1 all the way on day 30???? Asking questions is perfectly fine but they should be something more complex than how do you shut your computer down and turn it back on. :shock:

Off topic – who the hayo cares that Kloe bought her hubby a new Rolls Royce worth $400k??? I surely don’t….i mean, is that what we deem news these days?

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:18 pm

does anybody know of a good mind reader/hynotist/shrink etc….

I need somebody who can see whats in the underworld and is really good.

any sangomas in america..somebody??

(not a joke or prank) dead serious!

DreamsMaterialize

June 22nd, 2010
2:21 pm

Ok I have a story, sort of related to the topic. I met a woman not too long ago and we were having a good conversation about how childhood family structure influences our current dating habits. She admitted that she deviated from her parents’ perspective in that her parents are creole from Louisiana and some extreme viewpoints about race, color, and “pedigree” (btw I really dislike this word as it applies here). She then follows it up by saying “Don’t worry, you’re light enough, have good enough hair, and went to the right schools, so they would like you.” She said it like I was supposed to breathe a sigh of relief. Although she didn’t completely agree with her parents’ perspective, she still sought their approval. Have any of you run into these extreme sorts of color disparities in your recent dating misadventures?

Wise Diva

June 22nd, 2010
2:22 pm

That’s an interesting question Dreams, wow

DreamsMaterialize

June 22nd, 2010
2:27 pm

WD I didn’t realize people were still paper bag testing in the dating world.

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:30 pm

if u broke,living pay check to pay check,dont worry..u in goood company..this honie of mine, a bilioanre is broke too,,hehehe

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/22/business/22sorkin.html?dbk

SlimCutty

June 22nd, 2010
2:33 pm

My exes’ family are from the islands (Trini, Venezuela, etc) and they had a thing about being too dark. I guess I was light enough for them to approve of me but one of the aunts told my exes mom that if he and I had a child, the child would have peekie hair. I guess because I don’t have that silky, fine, straight type of hair. I was offended but sometimes comments like those are better left alone.

free to be (F2B)

June 22nd, 2010
2:34 pm

good afternoon everyone.:)

wow, Dreams…that is an interesting question. if i was subject to such color requirements, i didn’t realize it. i have heard various family memmbers comment though about a particular kind of hair, skin or eye color being more desirable when it comes to having kids. thankfully, this was NOT in my immediate family but distant cousins. it is sad to think there are people who stand by falsehoods such as biracial children being more attractive just because one parent is white. sad, sad….

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:35 pm

hommie of mine..listen to me,saying honie..LOL……horny wld have been better. :lol:

AmazonRed™

June 22nd, 2010
2:35 pm

WiseDiva – You broke your promise to us!

imagyneme

June 22nd, 2010
2:36 pm

WoW…two pages again…I guess I need to lurk someplace else…

Sassy Me...The Real Deal In Stereo:-)

June 22nd, 2010
2:37 pm

I’m still trying to hang in there but being on the blog these days is like watching paint dry

I’ve been thinking the same thing…maybe the blog is on “summer break” or sumthin…

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:40 pm

she still sought their approval

@Dreamz..that part of ur qstion is key…

Its her family and i understand her wanting to go along with what her family believes in. It is much better than inviting strife simply coz u grown and have a man/woma in ur life.

These things do matter i think coz they define who u are thus far in ur lyfe.

Family is family and inviting somebody in ur life that ur family “approves” is important to me.

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:40 pm

approves of,is important

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:42 pm

WiseDiva – You broke your promise to us!

@Ared…she was in DC. where promises are broken,so it shldnt be a surprise.

:lol: :lol:

kimmie

June 22nd, 2010
2:44 pm

Dreams – There is still paperbag testing in 2010, yes there is! I have a friend that is half Cuban, half AA. Depending on the day, she looks either AA or Latino. Grew up in Miami & married a AA.

ALL I HEAR around her is lightskinned this, darkskinned that! Of course, I’M OKAY to hang around her cause I’m on the lighter end of the spectrum. If it ain’t light or white, it ain’t right with her! It gets worse & worse! I am offended by it all and have told her. And her mother especially sheilded her from being around AA’s or knowing anything about her AA heritage. It’s certain ATL folk I can’t even bring her around – she wants to be bougie so bad but does not have a clue! I finally had to wean away from her!

SlimCutty

June 22nd, 2010
2:45 pm

melo & Dreams – well the same aunt that was tripping on the possible texture of our kids hair, father was a dark as coal from what I was told. So is that some sort of self-hate thing going on there??? She ended up marrying a black guy that could pass for white because he was soooooooo light with straight hair. She even make it an appoint to drop her Trini Accent when she got to the states.

Sassy Me...The Real Deal In Stereo:-)

June 22nd, 2010
2:47 pm

(Trini, Venezuela, etc) and they had a thing about being too dark.

Lawd don’t I know it…it hurt growing up in/with a color struck family and constantly being called “black” and other deragatory terms. What’s even sadder is that my dad’s side of the fam was just as if not darker than I am/was. Looking back on it know I just shake my head at it and keep it moving. It wasn’t until I came to the “A” that I grew to understand/love/appreciate my pretty dark brown skin…..ignorance may be bliss for some but knowledge of self is priceless.

kimmie

June 22nd, 2010
2:49 pm

Dreams – It’s funny too, cause her hubby is a nice pecan-brown, but she tries to say he is “light”! I finally got fed up and informed her her husband is NOT LIGHT, but what difference should it make?!!!

Melo

June 22nd, 2010
2:55 pm

She even make it an appoint to drop her Trini Accent when she got to the states

:lol: :lol:

@Slim…most foreign chics or young adults do that anyway..either they adopt/fake foreign accents deliberately or they assimilate them slowly with time.

is that some sort of self-hate thing going on there

look and i aint too proud nor ashamed to say it,even tho i like dark skinned as a pref to light skinned, i dont see myself dating a chic as dark skinned as a sudanese/ugandan. Its darn too dark black for my liking..no hate,just a pref.

professor

June 22nd, 2010
2:57 pm

so do uall ladies want me to and approve of me stirring UP some shyytt???

I say, let it rip!

does anybody know of a good mind reader/hynotist/shrink etc….

Send me your question for the underworld. I am going to find a shrink for you, tho…give me a second. LOL

Have any of you run into these extreme sorts of color disparities in your recent dating misadventures?

@DreamsM, This is still going on. Personally, I know of a bride-to-be that had her wedding called off. When the groom’s mother met her she raised h-e-l-l and said she was too dark. He told her in the end it was just too much and he could not do it and leave his mom out their all alone. The funny thing is he would never let her meet his mom, I thought he had another woman.

Hey F2B- how are ya’?

professor

June 22nd, 2010
3:04 pm

@DreamsM I’ve seen/heard both sexes say things like they only date “dark” or only date “light”. I find it ignorant to rant and rave over color unles you are talking about the mighty green dollar. I do not hang around people with that slave thinking. Regardless of being dark or light I feel like you are the fool that is keeping the fool company listening to all that mess.

The funny thing is I’ve heard other races say, why worry about that all of you are black.

Sassy Me...The Real Deal In Stereo:-)

June 22nd, 2010
3:04 pm

Have any of you run into these extreme sorts of color disparities in your recent dating misadventures?

Yes I’ve encountered that several times in my past. Men of different complexions approach me on the regular but for some reason the lighter complected ones loove me. I’ve also had men who like my dark skin for several reasons…like that’s just what they’ve always liked or I’m dark like their mothers but the one I’ll never understand is when a man claims he only likes dark skinned sisters cause a red one just did him all kinds of wrong…when I hear that ish I’m like :shock: and then I’m ghost…I’m thinking this fool only likes me by default and I refuse to be anybody’s second fiddle.

professor

June 22nd, 2010
3:06 pm

Sasssssssssy I am feeling your 2:47, {{{hug}}} to you.

Leggs

June 22nd, 2010
3:10 pm

WD ~ I have truly been working today! She turns to me and says, she never could have gotten it done w/o my help. Mind you now, if she was truly an airhead and acted smug, I would have punched her in the throat!! She had two reports to get out. We only did one. Told her to remember what she did today because she has to repeat it tomorrow.

@kimmie ~ there will probably always be “paperbag testing” as long as we have race issues. Spike Lee said it best with the Jungaboos (sp?) in Do The Right Thing. How old is that movie? We’re still facing the same race related questions.

@SlimCutty ~ if you kept acting like it’s GroundHog Day, I would have to walk away from you and ask that someone else transition you into your new position.

Sassy Me...The Real Deal In Stereo:-)

June 22nd, 2010
3:15 pm

Professoraaaaaaaaa I kow if no one else here can co-sign and understand it would be youuuuu,chica. When I used to live downtown one of the guys that worked at this ritzy men’s clothing store woule see me and he ALWAYS said to me “Ain’t nuthin like a pretty dark skinned woman….he was always polite and genuine about it and NEVER tried to hit on my and it made me smile EVERYTIME. :)