It isn’t often that I complain about male attention because most of the time I enjoy it. It’s a really rare moment of regretting men exist that, thankfully, I get over pretty quickly. Last week, I had the misfortune of having a discussion with a man, who I’ll call Mike, because that’s the jerk’s name.
Mike is married. Mike believes that as a married man he has the right to say any old random thing to single women. He starts talking about the fact that I am still not married and marveling over how youthful I look because of this fact (or in spite of?). He has gray hair that he blames on his wife and her boyfriend.
The conversation devolves when Mike offers to be my boyfriend, someone who I can talk to and be there for me. He thinks that my life is “too free” and I need to settle down and have a man guide it.
This is the part where I would love to tell you that I punched Mike in the forehead. I did not do this. Remember, my dad raised a non-violent, classy woman (thanks a lot, Dad). Instead, I told Mike that I am pretty satisfied with my “fancy free” life at this moment. I would love to be married one day and I am willing to wait until the right man (preferably not married?) came along. I graciously ended the conversation and ranted about needing married man repellent.
It’s interesting that settling down is viewed by some to mean no longer being a free spirit. I don’t know if I am being unrealistic here, but when you marry someone, aren’t you allowed to still do some things you did before you were in a couple?
Clearly, I wouldn’t go to strip clubs or hire private dancers at my condo when I get married (not that I’m doing that right now or anything.) I just want to know what do men expect their women to give up when she settles down? Why do people have a time frame for women to get married?
Why do people think they can and should let you know when they think it’s time to settle down?
Sizzling summer panel starts next week! If you have expressed interest in being on the panel, I will send out an email today. If you want to join the fun email me! firstname.lastname@example.org