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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Let sleeping exes lie?

Due to unforeseen and completely awesome circumstances (promise I will divulge on Monday!), I have to delay my coverage of the Jezebel Magazine’s most eligible single’s party.

I have had a wonderfully outrageous week of great things that kept me so busy I could barely keep up with basic hygiene, let alone proper blogging!

At any rate, it’s Friday and that means fun is on the way, right?  I’m headed to out of town this weekend.  To the same city where I met a certain someone when I returned from South Africa in 2007.

Since I sometimes live my life by committee (well, sort of) I asked the question: If you are in town for a weekend, should you look up your ex?

I got some hilarious responses, my favorite being from the oh so hot, ShutterAtlanta: “Sure, that’s why God invented ex-girlfriends”, too which I giggled in response and agreed.  So I made the call and it was as awkward as I thought it would be.  The way we left things was rather vague because we just fizzled out because of the distance.

I am on the fence about actually seeing him but the option is there, just waiting for me. So! WWTRD (what would the readers do?!).  Is it ever a good idea to look up an old flame for old nostalgia’s sake? Have you tried it?

Do you think he is expecting to get laid because I have a hotel room and I called him? I don’t want to send the wrong message! I just want to see how he is doing and catch up.  That can be done with all of our clothes on, right?

Should you let exes stay in the relationship archives or is it actually fun to dig them up? You know that good old reunite and feel so good…or whatever those lyrics are.

I’m flying out this morning but I am checking in on my trusty iphone! Have a great weekend and TGIF!

Should you look up your ex when you visit their city?

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247 comments Add your comment

Kym-.Glad that's over..Go Steelers!

June 18th, 2010
7:37 am

Good Morning All,

Oh my looking up an ex? Hmmm I am going to say depends on how the ex became an ex. I mean if this is a guy who hurt me..he can stay where he is. If it “fizzled out” as you say then I might be willing to stop in for a chat. But, I would caution myself not to ask that time aged question of “What happen with us?” as much as it would kill me not to ask I would have to suck it up and do just what I said. Check in say howdy and keep it moving.

sexyCOOL

June 18th, 2010
7:43 am

Three Words Daily – Silence is golden.

sexyCOOL

June 18th, 2010
7:46 am

If he never makes it to your hotel room, he won’t think he’s getting laid.

czBrat

June 18th, 2010
8:11 am

GM All!
Kym & SexyC have made very good points already. and whether or not he is expecting ‘favors’ depends on how he knew you to be when you were together. if he knew you to be a woman of values, he shouldn’t expect you to offer up a one-night-stand just for ol’ times sake. he should know that you just want to catch up and enjoy a few hours in his company. if he knew you to be a good-time gal then he’ll most certainly be expecting you to show up sans dainties :lol:

as for my approach, i would most definitely call up an ex to hang out if i’m in town; as long as we’ve remained friends with no misunderstanding of lingering feelings and as long as the current s/o(s) don’t have a prob with it.

off to play in traffic.
happy friday all!!!

PrincessNik

June 18th, 2010
8:19 am

For me it depends on the ex. I don’t really look up ex’s I am cordial when i see them though. We may hang out at the same tailgate at homecoming or something.

SlimPhatty

June 18th, 2010
8:31 am

Good morning,

As previously stated by one of our fellow early rising bloggers, me calling an ex would depend on our situation. It it was merely a case of the fizzles due to distance, I would see no issue in calling them up for a lunch ‘catch up’ date. If I didn’t want to get in a pickle of not wanting him to think I wanted some bootay then I would opt to meet up earlier in the day outside of the hotel. I believe dudes always feel that once they’ve hit that Cootie, then they Always have a great potential to revisit it. lol I’ve heard many a dude say, Getting Old Puddy is easier to get than new Puddy.

However, if it was a bad break-up, it would be in my best interest to leave that ex in the past even if I was going to be in town. But for the most part, i’m cordial to all my exes. ;-)

PrincessNik

June 18th, 2010
8:33 am

I believe dudes always feel that once they’ve hit that Cootie, then they Always have a great potential to revisit it.

Slim, i’ve heard many a guy co-sign that statement LOL>

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
8:44 am

Due to unforeseen and completely awesome circumstances (promise I will divulge on Monday!), I have to delay my coverage of the Jezebel Magazine’s most eligible single’s party.

Lawd, WiseDiva done gone and eloped on us! :lol:

Anyway, I’d be remiss to not take this moment to shout out the 2010 NBA Champs…the Los Angeles Lakers!!!! Made me so proud! :D

And thanks to all you Laker haters that truly served to be our motivators!!! ;)

Professor

June 18th, 2010
8:51 am

Hola!

A toast to Lady J and ARed for the LA Lakers :evil:

On topic: I don’t see myself calling someone because I was in town. I would not want them calling me in the shoe was on the other foot. As for the fizzing out part, I see it like drinking a flat coke. Would you do that? Only someone thirsty would. :wink:

Professor

June 18th, 2010
8:52 am

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
8:53 am

Now onto today’s topic…yes exes do lie…which is why it’s best to avoid them. :lol:

I don’t know…if there are no hard feelings or he has attempted to keep in touch, I’ll at least give a ring out of courtesy. Now I may be “so busy” that we don’t actually connect, but at least the call was made.

Timely topic…last night an old flame hit me up on FB. He’s married. He wanted me to call him so we could “catch up.” I told him it was too bad he hit me up last night cuz I just returned from his city on Sunday. He got a littled miffed at me. How quickly he how back in the day he told me he was moving via text message and then hadn’t really said two words to me since other than a few pokes and comments on Facebook. Pligga Neeze. :lol:

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
8:54 am

Whoops…should have read “how quickly HE FORGOT how…”

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
8:57 am

Thank you Professor. :D

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:00 am

I believe dudes always feel that once they’ve hit that Cootie, then they Always have a great potential to revisit it.

Agreed. My ego and pride don’t let me go there. And I do admit there is a certain pleasure when they try and I shut em down.

One guy moved here…with his wife. We had drinks downstairs at the bar at his hotel…he wanted to show me his room afterwards. Really? :roll: :arrow:

Professor

June 18th, 2010
9:01 am

You are welcome :evil:

So how many more titles do you think Kobe will win? He has several years left in the game. :evil: I think 2-3 more, and I believe he will pass Michael Jordan’s record.

CMS

June 18th, 2010
9:03 am

Trust me thought of him getting laid has crossed his mind. You called him out of the blue just to catch up right? Riiiight. Please play your cards correctly. You can catch up over the phone, facebook or whatever social networking site is out there that’s hot right now. This doesn’t mean he is gonna jump your bones, but if you want a friendly face to face chat is all you desire make sure you do it at a nice Godly hour of the day that doesn’t involve any blood pumping music, dancing or alcohol.

Even after your friendly platonic encounter he may just think it was a formality to opening the door for a future hook up and/or relationship.

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:04 am

Well, any time Phil Jackson wins a championship he wins three in a row, so if he stays Kobe’s chances look good.

And I think Kobe’s hunger and ego are strong enough we’re he’ll stay in the game as long as he can. Besides, I don’t think he really likes going home to his wife. :lol:

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:06 am

Even after your friendly platonic encounter he may just think it was a formality to opening the door for a future hook up and/or relationship.

And in the words of Kandi Burress “thank goodness he doesn’t get paid for thinking” :lol:

I do agree that someone may feel there are certain expectations, but it certainly does not mean that they have to be fulfilled.

Leggs

June 18th, 2010
9:13 am

Good morning ~ I wouldn’t necessarily contact an ex while visiting their city, but if we should meet out and about I would be cordial. I don’t have any ex’s that has left a sour taste in my mouth so I can smile when I see them and have a friendly word. That’s about it. Even my ex-husband gets a smile. He does my yard every week so when he called Wednesday night for some dinner I made him a pork chop and threw it at hime when he walked through the door. (J/K).

Great game last night. GO LAKERS. But, I must say this, why the hell was Vanessa Bryant up there. She needs to sit her arse down!

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:14 am

A lot of the wives were up there. That’s common Leggs. I didn’t see Khloe Kardashian up there tho. I didn’t see her at all during the game. LOL

CMS

June 18th, 2010
9:19 am

“Thank goodness he doesn’t get paid for thinking”. Well thinking is simply a hobby I like to take up to kill spare time. OoKay. Generally speaking whenever a woman from your past calls out of the blue to just catch up or see how you’re doing the basic questions she wants answers to are:

Are you single? Why?

Do you have any kid(s)? How old are they?

Once she processes those answers then she’ll make a decision on whether or not she’ll pursue things further. Tell me I’m lying…

Lucinda

June 18th, 2010
9:23 am

OH, c’mon, you call the ex just to “catch up”? You coulda done that on FB or email or something. Then you mention you’ll be in town at a hotel? What next, you want to show him the pillows, but not think that’s an invitation??

I’d only call an ex if I was looking to hook up. Can only think of one I’d call, but that hasn’t happened yet.

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:24 am

CMS -

I travel a lot, mainly work trips, but still a lot. And like I said, if I AM calling it’s because HE has made an effort to keep in touch. Out of courtesy if i’m visiting his city, it’s not random and out the blue. I’m there for a purpose.

Exes I haven’t seen, spoke to etc are not contacted.

I am single, in a committed relationship and have no children.

Professor

June 18th, 2010
9:27 am

ARed I agree on your 9:04. I was Khloe Kardashian as well. Usually that is the time you get to check out the wives and children. Maybe I am just nosey like that.

i'm swiss

June 18th, 2010
9:28 am

I’ve gotta agree w/ CMS on this one… It’s one thing to “catch up” in an impersonal way… but to call an ex-dude & let it be known that you’ll just happen to be in town… I promise you every guy would read that as an invitation to catch up with the cootie (well, if he’d ever hit it before, anyway). :lol:

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:31 am

Professor – I know Khloe was a distraction in Boston. Some company printed out masks of her face and everytime Odom touched the ball they yelled “ugly sister.”

I’m sure they agreed she’d stay at home just so the focus could be on him…

Leggs

June 18th, 2010
9:32 am

@ARed ~ there was! Oh, I only saw her.

@Prof ~ I’ll take those glasses now, thank you!

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:34 am

@ARed ~ there was! Oh, I only saw her.

That’s cuz she likes to be seen. Do you see her waiting outside the locker room during halftime.

I think he’s still paying for that scandal years back. I mean, it’s really not necessary for her to be there at halftime.

CMS

June 18th, 2010
9:36 am

Ared-

I understand that to be specific to your situation. However, in general if anyone gets the random text, poke, call, e-mail from an ex the natural responding thought is He/She must want some. Maybe I’m just a caveman that only thinks with his genitals. That’s why I tend to let sleeping dogs sleep.

SlimPhatty

June 18th, 2010
9:36 am

I don’t understand why they give Kloe a hard time about being the ‘ugly sister’…I don’t think she is unattractive.

Aint' my first Rodeo

June 18th, 2010
9:38 am

Facebook is for “catching up” – live & in person is to “reach out & touch someone”. :)

czBrat

June 18th, 2010
9:41 am

I believe dudes always feel that once they’ve hit that Cootie, then they Always have a great potential to revisit it.

true. i suppose that’s why i delight in keeping them in their place. :wink:

HiYa Leggs! Hola Profesora!

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:42 am

However, in general if anyone gets the random text, poke, call, e-mail from an ex the natural responding thought is He/She must want some.

Like I said, I agree.

But also like I said, it’ would be foolish to also assume that “getting some” will be a given.

But hey, booty calls exist for a reason…a whole lot of folks don’t mind going down “memory lane.” :lol:

kimmie

June 18th, 2010
9:45 am

Morning Everyone & Happy Friday!

Congrats Laker Fans!

I personally think ALL exes should remain in the past unless you want to get back with them. Sure, if I happen to run into any of mine, bad breakup or not, I will be civil, but that’s it. No emailing, texting, FB, none of that. So the ONLY way I would contact them is if I had an interest in getting back with them.

With that being said, if you’re not interested in getting back together, why do you need to contact them? I have an ex in Cali & in DC. I also have family in both those places. I don’t contact them everytime I visit! I don’t feel any obligation to. Only if I was not in a committed relationship, I was certain he wasn’t & we were talking about getting back together. Then all bets are off and he MIGHT be correct in assuming something might happen!

I’ve just found that with men ANY contact can be construed in the wrong way. Also, I’ve just had ZERO interest in keeping up with any of my exes, but again, that’s just me.

So WISE, what’s your REAL motive here – be real. Why are you even thinking about any assumptions he might be making concerning intimacy if it’s not a possibility of that happening? If you guys have some unfinished business, just admit it. Otherwise why stress it?

Sassy Me...Misty Lady :-)

June 18th, 2010
9:46 am

I have one simple rule: If you’re my ex…you’re that for a reason and I don’t backtrack. I don’t want to know what you have going on now so there’s no need to “catch up” on anything….kick rocks.

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:46 am

Leggs – Derek Fisher and his wife last night: http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2010-06/54400353.jpg

Slim – Why folks call her the “ugly one” http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/3/7/22/are-khloe-kardashian-and-chyna-the-same-9890-1236484368-31.jpg

I don’t think she’s ugly either, but in comparison to her sisters, she’s a lil awkard…

Professor

June 18th, 2010
9:46 am

@ARed I felt bad for her when they called out the ugly sister and wore those mask. That was simple mean and uncalled for. However I know the company made good money on that marketing plan.

@Leggs you know I traded in your glasses, so you would have a soft pillow when you ride on the bandwagon. :grin:

@Slim she is not bad looking to me either. I hate the way society always talk about the ugly duckling and the ugly sister.

Long Jon

June 18th, 2010
9:48 am

Ladies, If you don’t want Jerome to send it home don’t pick up the the telephone…

Leggs

June 18th, 2010
9:49 am

{{{waving}}} to czB!

@ARed ~ everytime I see Vanessa I think of the scandal and wonder if Kobe is still paying for it. He probably his. At halftime I changed the channel so I didn’t see her. Thank goodness!

And I too do not think Kloe is unattractive!

Sassy Me...Misty Lady :-)

June 18th, 2010
9:49 am

Leggs,czBrat,Lady J and Professora….Happy Friday!! :lol:

Professor

June 18th, 2010
9:49 am

Hey czBrat!

Wassup Sassy

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:50 am

Leggs – Derek Fisher and his wife last night: http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2010-06/54400353.jpg

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:51 am

Slim – Why folks call her the “ugly one” http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/3/7/22/are-khloe-kardashian-and-chyna-the-same-9890-1236484368-31.jpg

I don’t think she’s ugly either, but in comparison to her sisters, she’s a lil awkard…

M. (pronouced M dot)

June 18th, 2010
9:52 am

Friday.

I really wouldnt look up an ex because in the guy’s case, she probably has been dealing with other guys and accumulating baggage, and I dont think you want to be on the receiving end of that. Also what I noticed with ex’s is that you really have grown apart and its a good chance that you may or may not get along, therefore since you are on a trip, I say dont try to hang out with them. It may ruin your trip and send you back confused and with more baggage than you left with Wise.

Melo

June 18th, 2010
9:52 am

Good morning folks and YES.TGIF!

On topic:

ask urself this..Why would u call up an ex anyway,if u are a chic and u in town??

For us guys,we call the ex coz we trying to cajole for some ol bootey..thats the man Law standard…..

How about u females??

Dont give us the “u want someone u know to kinda talk to”" go talk to plenty strangers in the hotel lobby etc who are also new there and the locals..if u looking,thats a good way to find some one anyway….

Please stop the games..u call me be4 u come, to let me know u be in town,Trust me, i will ask to pay for the hotel and lay the red carpet,with champagne,cheese,flowers,cream,grapes and chardonnay. or ur favorite..

Coz im gon burn that bootey,all weekend long! For good ol time sake,ofcourse,why Not! :lol:

Enjoy! :lol:

AmazonRed™ - We are the Champions.Thank u Lakers!

June 18th, 2010
9:54 am

Trust me, i will ask to pay for the hotel and lay the red carpet,with champagne,cheese,flowers,cream,grapes and chardonnay. or ur favorite..

Oh…I wish he would…:lol:

SlimPhatty

June 18th, 2010
9:56 am

‘a whole lot of folks don’t mind going down “memory lane.’

Sometimes ‘memory lane’ is even better than you remembered it…you get to use what you already know about that person & incorporate what you’ve learned during the time you all have been apart. :mrgreen:

kimmie

June 18th, 2010
9:59 am

Dont give us the “u want someone u know to kinda talk to”” Please stop the games

Melo – I agree, let’s be real. That’s why I asked Wise what’s the REAL motive!

Leggs

June 18th, 2010
10:02 am

Hmmmmm, bandwagon or shortbus….doesn’t matter I ain’t walking!!

kimmie

June 18th, 2010
10:06 am

I really wouldnt look up an ex because in the guy’s case, she probably has been dealing with other guys and accumulating baggage, and I dont think you want to be on the receiving end of that.

M dot – But isn’t that the case with anyone you get with, ex or not? Because unless you go get some little green virgin barely out of high school, she’s going to have dealt with some other guys and possibly accumulated baggage.