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Dance with my Father

Sunday is Father’s Day! I have been playing Luther Vandross’ tear-jerking song, Dance with My Father all week.  It is one of my favorite “Hallmark” days because I am a self-proclaimed Daddy’s girl.  I was picking out cards this week and got all misty-eyed and emotional just reading the sappy words.  If that doesn’t make me a Daddy’s girl, I don’t know what does.

I love him not just because he has “kept me off the pole,” I love him because he is a cool dude. It seems that the older we get, the cooler he becomes.  Nothing fazes the man, I admire his pragmatic approach to life and love.  I really believe he is part of the reason why I am so resilient.  I still feel the dating disappointments when they happen but I bounce back.  I get up and dust my ego off and I keep it moving.  I do this without slashing tires or destroying property. Daddy raised a classy broad who likes her freedom.

I have always heard from men that being a Dad really changes their lives.  Their outlook on life shifts and things become richer and you gain clarity.  Men, is this true?  If you are the father of a daughter, did it change your perspective about women? Does it change how you date and relate to them too?

I have found that dating single Dads can be a really rewarding experience, especially when the man is mature and responsible. Men with children have to be very careful about what type of woman they bring around their kids.  It just won’t work if they are dating a self-absorbed, demanding woman who has to be put first in everything.  I have seen a lot of women blow their chances with single Dads because they start off being so pushy about quality time.

When a man has custody or shares custody with a child, he obviously can’t be at your beck and call.  Why would you want a man at your beck and call, anyway?  It’s important to be understanding and flexible.  I believe it is all worth it to compromise! Guys, do you have any other advice to women who date single fathers?

What are you plans for the upcoming weekend? I know it’s only Thursday but I can’t wait to get the weekend started!

Happy Father’s Day to all our wonderful Fathers on the blog.  Thank you for being a DAD!!

241 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me...Misty Lady:-)

June 17th, 2010
12:08 pm

Thanks Professor :lol:

For Real..you’re right it’s not easy to let those disappointments go but my dad and I have had that conversation. He asked me what I was upset/angry about/with and I told him….he apologized and that was that. Memories don’t go away but we have to make new ones so we’ll see what happens.

For Real

June 17th, 2010
12:09 pm

Kym: News Break:

“I’m not speaking for anybody in the House of Representatives but myself,” Barton explained, “but I’m ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown. In this case a $20 billion shakedown.”

Wrapping up, Barton said: “I apologize. I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong, is subject to some sort of political pressure that is, again, in my words — amounts to a shakedown, so I apologize.”

Melo

June 17th, 2010
12:10 pm

@SexxyCool….man ur blog post on ur HIM was rich..what a painful experience??

@JtJ

I felt ur 11.26 post all the way and about ur kids occassionally not being acknolwdged. Grown folks(relatives) are the pple who really get in the way of blended families.

Its hard.

My baby mama’s brother and the wife are guilty of that kinda of mess,indoctrinating and saying inappropriate stuff in front of my innocent daughter when she goes there on occcassions. Thats why i refuse to let them have her smetimes because they behave as if I phluccked them when in fact I phluccked and had relations with another grown person that they happen to be related to.

U cant force me to marry ur sister! Go sit down! :lol:

For Real

June 17th, 2010
12:12 pm

“U cant force me to marry ur sister! Go sit down!” – For Real now wondering is a “Zulu Wedding” anything like a “Shotgun Wedding”?

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
12:12 pm

Amazon….pump the brakes…k?

Um…what exactly did you find insulting? You asked for opinions and I gave mine which was completely sincere by the way. :? :arrow:

For Real

June 17th, 2010
12:14 pm

Preacher: Do you Melo take this women to be your wife.

Melo: (Checking the blowguns being held to head and back)

SlimOne

June 17th, 2010
12:15 pm

Sassy – My dad and I had a long period of when our relationship was non-existent but as we got older he expressed wanting to make amends and move forward. It was a long time coming but we basically got out what we needed to and he was able to address my thoughts, feeling etc and after that, it certainly helped in the moving on process. I told him I couldn’t move forward acting as if the past didn’t hurt or bother me. So once I was able to release it and he knew where I was coming from, he knew very well where I was coming from…I did him like your grandparents used to do us back in the day..Either stay inside or outside, no in and out. So I made it clear that if he claimed he wanted a better relationship, that I needed to see actions, not just words. I reminded him that i was not a little girl so all that lying or making ish up was not going to fly with me. We’ve been on the up and up ever since. I realized that going through the hardship with him back then has definitely helped us both appreciate where we are now. As in any relationship, it takes work…IF both parties are willing. In the same token, it may be that it’s best to keep your two worlds apart…but that’s for you to figure out

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
12:15 pm

lmbao @ shot gun wedding! too funny

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
12:21 pm

sassy exhale and continue to bridge that gap…..it will be a freedom like no other….it takes time and do it while he is alive! There is hope!

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
12:22 pm

slim good post!

Professor

June 17th, 2010
12:23 pm

Either stay inside or outside, no in and out.

@Slim I love that 12:15

@Lady J…how far are you on that paper while you in here laughing your bao? :grin:

Sassy Me...Misty Lady:-)

June 17th, 2010
12:29 pm

Slim your post makes perfect sense and we were kinda stuck in that same rut as well…before it seemed like every few years my dad would come around with that I wanna be a part of your(my sivlings and I) lives but it was always short lived and it got to the point where he stopped lying to himself and us. I told him it’s the equivalent of letting a cut heal and then ripping the scab off over and over.

He’s been calling us(including my mom) on a somewhat regular(is that an oxymoron) so we’ll see.

Now that we’re all grown then that’s how we’ll deal with each other….like adults.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
12:29 pm

abstact done working on TOC and Introduction………stay on me……..by midnight I should have 3/4 done……when i leave here I am skipping my normal routine and going str8 to the computer lab and continue and I will be working on it in class tonight…..lol

glad my professor is cool with laptops lmbao!

Kym-My Daddy Rocks!

June 17th, 2010
12:30 pm

@For Real..I knew BP was going to setup the fund.Exxon did the samething. Do you read Politico.com? They are going on about the BP execs..statement about “We care about the small people”.. Also BP is not going to pay out to their shareholders..their call..I know its a PR thing..just like the Big Banks..not paying out as high of a bonus than they did in previous years.

“Oh Muffy we will have to settle for a smaller yacht this year..they cut my bonus down to only 1.6 million..”

Sassy Me...Misty Lady:-)

June 17th, 2010
12:32 pm

it will be a freedom like no other….

Those few conversations we had were a little rough Lady J but there is a kind of liberating freedom that comes with getting that stuff off of your chest and letting go.

Now that being said: GO FINISH YOUR PAPER YOUNG LADY :)

Professor

June 17th, 2010
12:38 pm

@Lady J I will check on your progress in a little while.

I need to think about “lernch” any suggestions?

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
12:39 pm

that is my point sassy the journey isn’t happy or a merry go round ride but when you get it out and make sincere PEACE with it you can EXHALE and smile softer whenyou here is voice I do it daily and glad I could I am thankful I still have my father and he isn’t dead and I couldn’t smile….without him there is no me I cherish that alone….grown folk do what they may and hurt folks in the process but I am not higher than God and I can humble myself to forgive with time and let go…..it is not easy but it can be done…….bless you my chile you and your dad will shine in your own way!

and I am doing this silly paper! LOL thought I could pay it off but no one wants the job so I will pay myself and write it LMBAO! Lame I know but I am me and I ROCK BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL ;)

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
12:40 pm

damn meant hear his voice! my bad! it is just a blog though! LOL

Sassy Me...Misty Lady:-)

June 17th, 2010
12:47 pm

Lady J that 12:39 was priceless…

Sassy Me...Misty Lady:-)

June 17th, 2010
12:59 pm

Got a go date with a treadmill….read y’all in a bit.

Sassy Me...Misty Lady:-)

June 17th, 2010
12:59 pm

That should’ve been “got a date” but I digress….

It's me....lurker

June 17th, 2010
1:07 pm

@lurker sista girl got a job where they ACTUALLY want me to do work … *hmph*

Anonymousella – you are not alone. If I’m on here consistently, my work falls behind. I safe doing popins

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
1:11 pm

thanks sassy!

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
1:12 pm

i need to watch an episode of Bewitched so i can laugh for real!!!!! geesh!

Professor

June 17th, 2010
1:35 pm

@Lady J “The Jeffersons” and “That’s My Mama” always make me laugh. Now, Fantasy Island is a good one if you can find it :grin:

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
1:38 pm

girl you know the Jefferson is my all time favorite but when Samantha starts twinkling that nose of hers girl I die laughing lol……….and her mother is a mess!

I just mastered the title page and TOC I hate APA dammit! moving on to the body and subheadings……geesh

SlimOne

June 17th, 2010
1:42 pm

Have any you all seen Ice Cubes new comedy sitcom, “Are We There Yet?” yet? I saw one episode that my cousin TiVoed but it was sort of dry to me….

For Real

June 17th, 2010
1:52 pm

Dig That

June 17th, 2010
1:54 pm

What up erybody

Trevor0529

June 17th, 2010
1:58 pm

Good Afternoon All,

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!!

Lady J, I am trying to master APA style myself. Its not easy but I’m getting there. BTW, while you are working on your paper, care to do mine? It’s due tomorrow.
:)

Professor

June 17th, 2010
1:59 pm

@Lady J I see you are making progress

@Dig that, how are ya’?

@Slim, Nope I haven’t seen it yet

Professor

June 17th, 2010
2:00 pm

Lady J/Trevor you can buy/download the software to format your paper in APA

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
2:01 pm

mean muggin’ trevor i’ve begged folk to do my paper and I will pay and not a soul said anything lmbao! we will just continue to write our papers together daggit! LOL!

professor is our proofreader!!!!

yes sis I am making progress….I know what I want to type in the body not stressing that the damn format irks the sam hell out of me…….lol

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
2:02 pm

grrrrrrrr professor i know :( …… lol

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
2:02 pm

hey dig that!

abc

June 17th, 2010
2:03 pm

Yeah, For Real, I wouldn’t even characterize it as ‘not right’, but is certainly is what it is. The consequences if you forget Mother’s Day vs. forgetting Father’s Day goes a ways toward characterizing the difference between men and women.

SlimOne

June 17th, 2010
2:04 pm

This place needs some pep in its step….(Slim now blasting, ‘Pump Up the Jam, pump it up while the bass is bumping’ to get the blog going)

Trevor0529

June 17th, 2010
2:05 pm

@Prof

I do not know of any software to do APA formatting. My professor let us know of an APA website, http://www.apastyle.org

Professor

June 17th, 2010
2:07 pm

Trevor there is a software a few of my former students used it.

Professor

June 17th, 2010
2:08 pm

<—–now jammin' doing the cabbage patch to Slim's song :grin:

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
2:11 pm

prof/trev I have my apa book open right now in front of me and want to throw it out the window….lol

Professor

June 17th, 2010
2:13 pm

I need to find the CD, for y’all because one student actually gave me a copy. I was like thank you :???: because I did not need it.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
2:18 pm

if you do I will gladly take it with a smile! lol

Trevor0529

June 17th, 2010
2:18 pm

Prof, you are correct. There is software out there for APA formatting. I also found how format MIcrosoft Word for APA style.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
2:26 pm

send it to me sir

Trevor0529

June 17th, 2010
2:30 pm

LadyJ, the software or the microsoft template? I can send you the template. The software I saw online cost $35 dollars.

Professor

June 17th, 2010
2:33 pm

Trevor/Lady J I have it somewhere if I find it I will make sure I give each of you a copy.

I feel like it is a waste of time trying to format those papers :grin: , however I will take off points if it is not done….Hahaha (in my mad scientist laugh) :evil:

Dig That

June 17th, 2010
2:36 pm

LadyJ/Professor- Hey y’all. Father’s Day and Mother’s Day is just so overwhelming for me at this point in life.

Happy Father’s Day fellas

free to be (F2B)

June 17th, 2010
2:37 pm

i love my dad. he is a good person. there are some things that i wish had gone differently in my childhood. even still, it is good to know that he was there in all the important ways. he gave what he thought i needed and i appreciate that.

hope everyone is having a great day.:)

Professor

June 17th, 2010
2:37 pm

Trevor~ Great! I am happy you found it…APA can take up a lot of time if you let it. IMO it is like the card catalog vs. internet.