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Dance with my Father

Sunday is Father’s Day! I have been playing Luther Vandross’ tear-jerking song, Dance with My Father all week.  It is one of my favorite “Hallmark” days because I am a self-proclaimed Daddy’s girl.  I was picking out cards this week and got all misty-eyed and emotional just reading the sappy words.  If that doesn’t make me a Daddy’s girl, I don’t know what does.

I love him not just because he has “kept me off the pole,” I love him because he is a cool dude. It seems that the older we get, the cooler he becomes.  Nothing fazes the man, I admire his pragmatic approach to life and love.  I really believe he is part of the reason why I am so resilient.  I still feel the dating disappointments when they happen but I bounce back.  I get up and dust my ego off and I keep it moving.  I do this without slashing tires or destroying property. Daddy raised a classy broad who likes her freedom.

I have always heard from men that being a Dad really changes their lives.  Their outlook on life shifts and things become richer and you gain clarity.  Men, is this true?  If you are the father of a daughter, did it change your perspective about women? Does it change how you date and relate to them too?

I have found that dating single Dads can be a really rewarding experience, especially when the man is mature and responsible. Men with children have to be very careful about what type of woman they bring around their kids.  It just won’t work if they are dating a self-absorbed, demanding woman who has to be put first in everything.  I have seen a lot of women blow their chances with single Dads because they start off being so pushy about quality time.

When a man has custody or shares custody with a child, he obviously can’t be at your beck and call.  Why would you want a man at your beck and call, anyway?  It’s important to be understanding and flexible.  I believe it is all worth it to compromise! Guys, do you have any other advice to women who date single fathers?

What are you plans for the upcoming weekend? I know it’s only Thursday but I can’t wait to get the weekend started!

Happy Father’s Day to all our wonderful Fathers on the blog.  Thank you for being a DAD!!

241 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
10:05 am

PrincessNik – I figured that…but at the end of the day, as long as you’re responsible for someone else, you can’t just “get up and go.” Having a guy call and ask you to meet him in 20 minutes becomes pretty difficult no matter how much help you get.

Melo

June 17th, 2010
10:05 am

My weekend plans are to cook JT a great meal and get him a couple of suits

@JtJ?? what about daddy..what u got planned for him??

@abc..comeon maaan,stop the constant whinning..cheer Up!
@Ared..My dad was too tall to serve (in the draft) :shock: Really..how tall is too tall for the Army(navy etc)??

On topic!

I dont have a great relationship with my dad and I doubt it will ever be that strong. Our relationship is cordial to distant. I havent spoken to him since around April of 2009,even tho he recently left a voice message on my phone which call i havent bothered to return…….Yet!.

I luv my dad but its kinda all messed up.. we 2 equally obstinate people who can quickly unrattle each other and we have too many philosophical differences.

If my dad cared for my sick brother more than i thoght he should and may be as much as he cares for his other kids from his small houses,i could forgive him for a whole lot of stuff.

Happy fathers day still,Dad!

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
10:06 am

@ PrincessNik…timing was everything…at least in my book. My oldest sister was engaged to a guy who had no kids (she has 3) and after 3 years of dating, they broke up because he said she always put the kids before him and he really didn’t think he could love them like his own.

I did have a good step-dad in my life from age 8 to adulthood, even though he turns my stomach now, he taught me a lot. He taught me how defensive fighting skills and how to shoot my 1st gun!!

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:06 am

Having a guy call and ask you to meet him in 20 minutes becomes pretty difficult no matter how much help you get.

Ared, you definately right about that

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
10:07 am

melo – My dad is 6′7″ back then you had to be 6′5″ or under because any taller and you couldn’t fit the uniform.

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
10:08 am

PrincessNik – I guess leaving the kid in the car is a no no for those last minute coffee dates huh? :lol:

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:08 am

even though he turns my stomach now

@ JtJ, what brought this feeling about if you don’t mind me asking

abc

June 17th, 2010
10:09 am

Not whining. Like I said, Father’s Day is mostly a non-holiday, and Dads don’t mind. Stuff like that is for chicks, hence Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day being a big deal, while Father’s Day is not.

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
10:11 am

abc – You’re right. Now I didn’t do much for the mothers this year, because now that my sister’s are moms it’s just too many of em. But they all got cards. And I can admit that I totally didn’t buy cards for my dad, grandad and uncle. But I figured spending money on a plane ticket to see em should count for something. :lol:

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:11 am

Ared

STOP! :lol:

that coffee date aint worth life in prison and eternity in hades

Joking aside, a good dude (or should i say the dude for me) isn’t going to stress you like that about your child, he will be understanding of that fact that you need a decent amount of notice, and 20 minutes isn’t it, unless he already knows she is somewhere else.

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
10:12 am

@ Melo…I won’t be traveling home to see him this Father’s Day…but I will be sending him a gift today in the mail.

It's me....lurker

June 17th, 2010
10:12 am

Where’s Ceemeli, Page1908, W8, Atlwen, M., NY2Ga, ThirdWheel, Beautiful, Jamoca, Ballwood, Kinderbabe, Alvin, anonymousella, Demigod, Lioness….all those folks blogging at this time last year?

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
10:14 am

For Real

June 17th, 2010
10:15 am

“If you are the father of a daughter, did it change your perspective about women?” – I don’t have any daughters (Thank You Jesus) but I believe the way my sons treat women/will treat women is a direct reflection of me. So, I don’t want to raise men that treat women badly. So far I’m doing a pretty dayum good job.

“Guys, do you have any other advice to women who date single fathers?” – Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries.. Know his!!! And just because he doesn’t want to get married again (if that’s the case) that doesn’t mean he is hurt or bitter. It means he has been there done that and doesn’t see a need to do it again. And NO there is absolutely nothing you can do to change his mind because it’s not about you or what you do or don’t do.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
10:15 am

If my dad cared for my sick brother more than i thoght he should and may be as much as he cares for his other kids from his small houses,i could forgive him for a whole lot of stuff. <———–Melo I feel you!!!! if our brothers didn't have our mothers who would they have unconditionally!!!! ((((((HUGS)))))) *tear*

lets see if this post surface…..blog monster :(

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
10:16 am

@ PK…he is nasty!! And yes, I mean in that dirty-not-so clean way!!! He don’t take pride in his appearance anymore, he dresses like he don’t care and now is just a computer junkie!! He looks a mess! But my momma still loves him just the same…I won’t even eat his cooking anymore, he is known to scratch while cooking…ewwwwww!!

Professor

June 17th, 2010
10:16 am

Melo, if you don’t mind will you explain what it means about the kids in the small houses. I think this means children outside of his first wife, but I don’t want to assume.

Will you return the vm on Fathers Day?

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
10:16 am

melo good post what I wanted to say I will email it lol the dag on blog monster is hating! lol

Kym-My Daddy Rocks!

June 17th, 2010
10:19 am

Well I got my Daddy a outfit..blue jean shorts and a short sleeve polo shirt. Why? Cause my Daddy is the one of the ring masters for the clown section for our little family circus. He had to go for outpatient surgery at the VA last weekend and his outfit choice-lets just say he was in rare clown form.

mqew

June 17th, 2010
10:20 am

Happy Pappy’s Day to all deserving!!! My hubby is the bestest DAD ever. I know he’ll have a Daddy’s Lil Girl soon :-)

Although, I’d probably have to tell HIM that Sunday is Father’s Day. He could give a flying fig about it. He’ll just shrug it off…

My father… different story. I may or may not remember to call him that day. And that’s because I’ll have to want to call around to get his number…. It’s always around my bday which is Saturday. (GEMINI in da house :-) ) So if he calls me, then I’d be able to tell him then…

For Real

June 17th, 2010
10:22 am

Kym: You wrong for that your pops got his own style. See this mushroom belt? Now, I coulda stop there but noooooooo, checkout the mushroom lining in my suit.

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
10:22 am

@ *abc*..Most of the men (fathers) in my family always say “don’t make a big fuss or do anything special for me”….so we don’t. Is that code for “yes, make a big fuss and go all out?”

I told JT once that I didn’t want anything for my birthday, hoping he would go all out and was hurt when he didn’t get me a thing!! That reverse psychology did not work for me, so I hope that is not what they are banking on when they say they don’t want anything.

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:22 am

he is known to scratch while cooking…ewwwwww!!

:shock:

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:23 am

checkout the mushroom lining in my suit.

ya got to coor-dinate :lol:

mqew

June 17th, 2010
10:24 am

Kym – Thas funny! I laughed out loud for real. What’s clown form? You have to tell us :lol: :lol: :lol:

abc

June 17th, 2010
10:24 am

Most men don’t do code, JtJ. Give a card with a nice hug, most Dads will be just fine with that. But, not surprised if everyone forgets, too, it’s not a big deal. As far as that goes, I’d better get a card off to MY dad today.

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
10:25 am

LOL!!! @ For Real….he got to Co-Or-Dinate!!!

mqew

June 17th, 2010
10:26 am

JTJ – That scratching thing ain’t cool. What the hey?

Melo

June 17th, 2010
10:26 am

Men, is this true? If you are the father of a daughter, did it change your perspective about women?

Now as far as that….to some degree,yes…

I got 2 girls that i luv to death and thinking of my playa days..it kinda makes me have a lot of angst! :lol:

But my girls will get all the skinny and inside baseball(sexxing) from me be4 they get it from another boy.
I recently sat down with my soon to be 16 girl and was telling her about boys and stuff..she started giggling.. I said daddy loves u more than any boy out there will ever do and when a boy says”i like how those jeans look on u,do u know what that means?” She said “no”..i said thats code for, “i want to sleep with u and get inside ur thighs..it dont mean he loves u at all”. So dont be way laid by stuff like that coz u miss on the big prize and ur goals.

Well i have told my kids that whereas there are big rewards for pursuing school and education and what u can achieve in lyfe, and the luv u get from me for being diligent(including paying for that med insurance up to ur 26 yr birfdate….thank u Obama) :lol: there are huge consequences fro transgressing on my rules,as long as u live in my house..

One prego and u Out! U counting urself as an adult if u do,so its the Lyfe u choose.

Kym-My Daddy Rocks!

June 17th, 2010
10:27 am

For Real..I wish he would go somewhere in a mushroom belt. No he came out of my sister’s house with a sneaker on one foot and a workboot on the other..yes he did go buy a pair of flip flops cause I was not going thru town with him looking like that. Then he had on cut-off jeans..and a shirt two sizes to big..Why? Cause the docs at the VA said to come loose. See? Clown just as special as he can be.

mqew

June 17th, 2010
10:29 am

abc – You are so right, he wouldn’t give a fig if everyone forgot.

It’s me – Yeah, where is Ceemeemee and Jamoca…. Gawd Jamoca could tell a person off without a hint of a curse word….

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:29 am

@ its me lurker

Kinderbabe is now Free to be (f2b), she changed her moniker a few weeks ago because she is chaning career paths

Ceemeli started a new job a few months back……

I’ve seen Page1908 and anonymousella pop up every once in a while

Beautiful i think is on here a couple times a week (sometimes), NY2GA makes sporadic appearances also

Professor

June 17th, 2010
10:29 am

@It’s Me Lurker…. Kinderbabe is still with us. She made a wonderful announcement a few weeks ago regarding her new journey and she is now Free 2 Be (F2B).

Harold

June 17th, 2010
10:31 am

I came to fatherhood relatively late in life, but my two princesses have really changed my life. I never thought I could love someone as deeply as I love them. I am single now, and yes, it changes your perspective on dating and relationships. I think I understand women more now and am more patient. I know parenthood isn’t for everyone, but I can’t imagine my life without them.

mqew

June 17th, 2010
10:31 am

Kym – Mixmatched shoes… That is funney as all hell :lol: :lol: Did you shake you head or laugh or….what?

Melo

June 17th, 2010
10:31 am

I think this means children outside of his first wife, but I don’t want to assume.

@Proff!….U correct

I may actually return his call..im not a bad person and sometimes,very spiritual in that sense But..some thangs just dont make sense to me so..

My daddy diudent call me to check on me and my fam well being(even tho thats the message he left)..that I know..he called coz hes broke…..So!

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
10:32 am

ummmmm I wasn’t blogging the last year and a half but I am BACK!!!1 LOL last summer I was celebrating turning 30 prior to that gettng over a lost and self evaluating….lolol

Melo

June 17th, 2010
10:32 am

didnt call me

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
10:35 am

harold good post!

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
10:36 am

@mqew…he is good cook, too. But once we all moved out, his mom died and he went through some major depression. And I guess, no his motto is “he just don’t give-a-!! The cooking thing …um yeah,…that’s nasty…cause he always go commando and has plumber’s but* all the time.

Kym-My Daddy Rocks!

June 17th, 2010
10:38 am

@mqew..Dont forget the clothes..I called him a clown and he and my sister laughed. Then I fussed(which is my norm) and took him to family dollar to get him some flip flops(thongs is what he calls them) I am laughing now thinking about it..

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
10:38 am

Oh yeah…Cemeeli. Forgot about her. Congrats to her on the new gig.

Sassy Me – Sorry you can’t blog with us regularly anymore, but I saw your shout out the other day so hi!

kimmie

June 17th, 2010
10:40 am

Morning Great Blog People!

I had a wonderful dad and I miss him alot. I was closer to my mom, but my dad always had a quiet, powerful presence. I never met my grandfather on my dad’s side because he died when my dad was a baby. My maternal grandfather died back in 2002. I miss him too, especially his jokes! He, along with my grandmother, would keep us in stitches!

God bless them and Happy Fathers Day to all you wonderful dads out there, making it happen!

SlimOne

June 17th, 2010
10:44 am

I would love to get my Pops a nice golf club set (lefty) but daughter just aint got it, $$$$. So I sent him a card with a $5 inside instead….only got $995 left to go. :lol:

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:45 am

Slim

you crazy!

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
10:46 am

I don’t have any daughters (Thank You Jesus)

:evil:

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
10:48 am

when a boy says”i like how those jeans look on u,do u know what that means?” She said “no”.

:lol: Ah…innocence. :lol:

It's me....lurker

June 17th, 2010
10:48 am

Thanks Professor and PrincessN…didn’t realized so many are MIA until clicking the link in WD’s post.

:) :)

It's me....lurker

June 17th, 2010
10:49 am

Keep up the good work MELO, who can tell them better than you. That’s how my pops did us. RIP pops, singing with the angels now. Left us this time last year.

Jeff

June 17th, 2010
10:54 am

As a single dad, thank you all. Here’s how I handle dating in regard to my 7 yo girl:

She will not see women come in and out of my life like a roll of toilet paper. If a woman I am dating is trying to weasle in on my time with my daughter, it’s time to hit the bricks. The child is still a child and shouldn’t be battling with an adult for my attention. If the worse thing my daughter says is that she didn’t see me date much, so be it.