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Dance with my Father

Sunday is Father’s Day! I have been playing Luther Vandross’ tear-jerking song, Dance with My Father all week.  It is one of my favorite “Hallmark” days because I am a self-proclaimed Daddy’s girl.  I was picking out cards this week and got all misty-eyed and emotional just reading the sappy words.  If that doesn’t make me a Daddy’s girl, I don’t know what does.

I love him not just because he has “kept me off the pole,” I love him because he is a cool dude. It seems that the older we get, the cooler he becomes.  Nothing fazes the man, I admire his pragmatic approach to life and love.  I really believe he is part of the reason why I am so resilient.  I still feel the dating disappointments when they happen but I bounce back.  I get up and dust my ego off and I keep it moving.  I do this without slashing tires or destroying property. Daddy raised a classy broad who likes her freedom.

I have always heard from men that being a Dad really changes their lives.  Their outlook on life shifts and things become richer and you gain clarity.  Men, is this true?  If you are the father of a daughter, did it change your perspective about women? Does it change how you date and relate to them too?

I have found that dating single Dads can be a really rewarding experience, especially when the man is mature and responsible. Men with children have to be very careful about what type of woman they bring around their kids.  It just won’t work if they are dating a self-absorbed, demanding woman who has to be put first in everything.  I have seen a lot of women blow their chances with single Dads because they start off being so pushy about quality time.

When a man has custody or shares custody with a child, he obviously can’t be at your beck and call.  Why would you want a man at your beck and call, anyway?  It’s important to be understanding and flexible.  I believe it is all worth it to compromise! Guys, do you have any other advice to women who date single fathers?

What are you plans for the upcoming weekend? I know it’s only Thursday but I can’t wait to get the weekend started!

Happy Father’s Day to all our wonderful Fathers on the blog.  Thank you for being a DAD!!

241 comments Add your comment

SlimOne

June 17th, 2010
8:13 am

Good morning Blogsville and a special reverse church hug to all the fathers out there….

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
8:13 am

HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL OUR BLOG MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Fathers Day does ROCK bc there are AWESOME fathers and daddys that do the dag on thing with their wonderful kids!!!!!!!!!!! :)

My child is blessed to have a great father and daddy!!!!!!! ;)

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
8:21 am

over the years as a adult and parent I have made peace with my childhood and with my farther….he is good people growing up I didn’t see he has major value just was a parent early on and as a young parent you make mistakes….I never went without and he took care of us as best he could…….as a child then looking @ his questionable adult behavior often left us sad but that was NOT my battle to fight at the end of the day…what transpired between my mom and him is between then and I had to stop picking sides and remain the child and daughter but being the oldest that didn’t come overnight…..at any rate my adulthood with him has been good…..I wouldn’t change my family setup……I am blessed through it all……to have had both parents in the home that sacrificed their lives together even if they didn’t want to for us to half a half “normal” childhood…..it could have been worse! So Happy Fathers Day to my Nupe Daddy MPW!!!!!! Daddy ROCKS!!!!!! :)

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
8:26 am

I have my lap top bak Wind Down Wednesday are you playing on the playground today sir???? if so keep the youtube videos coming! lol

Professor

June 17th, 2010
8:37 am

Hola!

This Fathers Day I will remember my daddy, and this is done everyday. For the past 13 years I have thought of him everyday. Sometimes my heart smiles at the memories and other times tears of joy and sorrow overcome me. At the end, my daddy was always there, loving me, encouraging me, and giving everything he had for the betterment of me.

So in honor of my dad, my hero, my heart and my rock I will blow a kiss to heaven, since I cannot mail a card there on Sunday. I will cry and smile on all the beautiful memories we made together, and even the ones I thought were bad were not bad…just your baby girl being spoiled.

Professor

June 17th, 2010
8:39 am

Hey Lady J

WDW posted some great videos yesterday. I was wondering when the Lyfe CD will drop. I love me some Lyfe Jennings I wish he would do a small show here again. He is an amazing performer. Happy Fathers Day Lyfe! LOL

Professor

June 17th, 2010
8:44 am

Random thought:

There is nothing like being a daddy’s girl. He taught me how to fish with a tight line, play catch, ride a bike, and throw a few darts. Always sensitive to my feelings, he showed me how to be tough when needed and gentle and kind as well. Most of all he taught me to use my brain and THINK!

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 17th, 2010
8:46 am

hey Professor~ your daddy is with with you daily chica and he is proud of that dag on Professor!!!!! He is your ANGEL and daily guiding light!!!! God Bless you as you remember him~!

PK Same to you!!!! I know you miss your daddy too dearly!!!! He is with you and your family!!! God Bless!!!

yall I have truly never dealt with death and a very close family member while my great grnadmother lived to 90 I viewed it as a dear celebration and couldn’t weep that much bc that sistah did it……Tears are coming now to thnk of losing my parents no matter the age!

hope he returns professor this is a music working day hell june is black music month lets celebrate our music!

CMS

June 17th, 2010
8:47 am

I love being a dad more than I love being a husband.

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 17th, 2010
8:47 am

professor now lil kadie will know what that means she is a true daddy’s girl I would never take that away from her!!!!! DADDY GIRLS ROCK!!!!! ;)

I am far from a daddy’s girl but I admire those that are!

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 17th, 2010
8:48 am

cms i have heard many say that….

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
8:50 am

There is nothing like being a daddy’s girl.

I second that!

Hey Everyone!

Lady J-I love your smile!

June 17th, 2010
8:51 am

I am in the process of putting life insurance on both of my parents and that brings tears but I have to be responsible nevertheless…….hell I think my daddy will out live me sometimes…..lol

CMS

June 17th, 2010
8:56 am

Don’t get me wrong I love my wife. I love being her husband. But its different. I think women know that men love their children deeper than their spouses. That’s why custodial battles tend to get real ugly.

Professor

June 17th, 2010
8:58 am

@Lady J thanks! I really appreciate the kind words. Since it is black music month I guess I will jam for a minute on pandora. Oh yea two of my grandparents lived well into their 90s. I celebrated their life instead of weeping. Living through all the turnoil and stuff they made it through with a smile and a pure heart made me want to shout, because they were the epitome of being meek and humble, yet strong survivors.

@PK, Wassup lady!

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:01 am

cms I understand I never thought otherwise…..it is something dear about being a father just like a mother…i do get it and respect yall as fathers! ;)

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:02 am

preach professor! I like to view death as a dear celebration of life! I am a believer! :)

Professor

June 17th, 2010
9:04 am

So tell me, what are you guys doing for Fathers Day?

If my daddy was here we would probably cook dinner for him and my mom would make the banana pudding (his favorite).

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
9:04 am

Morning all!

I have found that dating single Dads can be a really rewarding experience

WiseDiva, I’ll take your word for it. :lol: But happy dad’s day to all the fathers out there making it happen!

My Dad is not local. But I did have the wonderful joy of seeing him last weekend along with my Grandfather, and Uncle. All three of these men have been such a steadfast force in my life and I can’t remember a time when they weren’t there for me and showing me what I deserve from a man.

Can’t beat it.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:04 am

and cms I am a advocate for co-parenting we have done great by our child through our mess to be AWESOME co-parents for her!!!!!! She respects the process too and has done well with it! I praye for my child daily to truly appreciate what we have done for her since we couldn’t remain married……..it is a daily prayer for me…..that right there is sensitive to my heart!

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
9:05 am

Hey Professor, Hey Lady J!

My great grandmother died a month shy of her 95th Bday. A great woman, so great that my daughter is named after her!

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:07 am

no plans professor I will help kadie pick a gift she has already had her time with him this week he will be working sunday…….as she gets older I see the two of them doing it big!

I’m sending my daddy a card and gift card…….

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:07 am

waving @ PK!!!!!!!!

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
9:07 am

Professor,

I’m going to put some flowers on my dad’s grave. This time of year is always rough because his Birthday is 6/13 and of course that is the same week as fathers day give or take a few days.

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
9:08 am

I think women know that men love their children deeper than their spouses.

And the men definitely know that women love their children deeper. Several men have stated here that once the kids came, they were expendable.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:09 am

ARed I have yet to date a dad………..and I am a mother…….

Kym-My Daddy Rocks!

June 17th, 2010
9:15 am

Good Morning All,

I can’t say I am a daddy’s girl..actually I can’t say that about me or my sister. My sis and my dad relate more in terms of personality. I always tell my Daddy you did a good job raising me to take care of myself…too good at times. But these past few months..I have come to appreciate the help my dad has given. Including working with his grandson in learning to do stuff around the house. He even took him with him when he went to work on my cousin’s home. I couldn’t help but smile the other day when my son was fixing his bed and he said “Now Granddaddy says to make sure the box spring is all the way flat.. or Grandaddy says to make sure you do XYZ with your tools”…I think my Daddy gets a kick out of it too. I know he was beaming when he showed my son how to mow the lawn. My plans this weekend involve my family..they are all coming over for what I like to call Housewarming #1 of 2..lawd I hope my neighbors are forgiving people. “In my family we do loud really well.”

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
9:17 am

“In my family we do loud really well.”

Girl, mine too. :lol:

We did a family dinner at Pappasito’s. It took 4 hours and they had to give us our own banquet room. :lol: Not only that, but we can’t do anything without drinking. :lol:

Kym-My Daddy Rocks!

June 17th, 2010
9:23 am

Yeah I believe there maybe some drinking involved..I know for sure after they leave..j/k but not really.

Mr_NYC

June 17th, 2010
9:26 am

My local Father’s Day event I hope to attend

http://lisaraye.eventbrite.com/

Professor

June 17th, 2010
9:27 am

@PK, I am going to place some flowers on my daddy’s grave as well, after early service. Afterwards I think I will go to brunch and get a massage.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:30 am

Enjoy Mr_NYC!

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:31 am

I have an abstract going buddy there is hope #motivation! the end is near thankfully!

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
9:33 am

Good Morning All!!

There are indeed some great fathers out there and they are equally important as mothers are!!

I wish I could say I have an awesome relationship with my father, but I don’t. He has been “in” my life since day one, but when he and my mother seperated when I was like 4 or 5, he has only been there on holidays and special events. My dad has struggled with drug addiction since his Army days and at almost 52, he still struggles to this day. If it were not for the drugs, I know he would have been a better dad to his 4 girls.

Now, my girls are truly daddy’s girls and they bought have him wrapped around their fingers. My oldest daughter is from my ex-husband and he caters to her in every way possible. My youngest, with JT, has always favored him over me, even when he couldn’t breastfeed her greedy bu*t.

All girls need their dads, even through the drug addiction, I have always loved my dad and always will!!

My weekend plans are to cook JT a great meal and get him a couple of suits and that electric hammer that he wants…Lol

Professor

June 17th, 2010
9:34 am

@Mr_NYC have fun at your event…it sounds nice. Are you blogging from NC?

@Lady J “don’t stop get it get it” on that paper.

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
9:38 am

*ARed I have yet to date a dad………..and I am a mother…….*

@ Lady J…Wow!! That seems odd, but I guess not. When I was dating, I would hope the guys I dated had at least 1 kid, because I knew they would understand the issues of timing and planning.

I did date a couple that had no kids, and he couldn’t understand why I could only go out every other weekend and Wednesday nights…lol…

abc

June 17th, 2010
9:38 am

Now, this is mostly mendacity.

Mother’s Day gets a lot of attention, just like Valentine’s Day for moms. Father’s Day is kind of an afterthought. Nobody pays a lot of attention to it. If everyone goes out to dinner, Dad is the one who’ll certainly pay for it. Most Dads don’t even get a card. And, they don’t much care about it, either. Marketing hype: there aren’t really that many Dads that want a tool for a present, or a lawn mower, any more than Mom wants a new vacuum cleaner for a present.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:38 am

jtj preach alcohol is a down fall for mine but he has sustain to continue to be the best he can……

I am professor! stay on me honey! I am more focused today than ever……after the abract the TOC then the content and I am rolling full force…….thanks chica!

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:41 am

jtj I am sure it will happen one day….I am not agaisnt it but their affairs must be on the levell of my co-parenting style that anger and mess and having the child as a pawn and how he speaks about the mother of his child will affect my happenings with him….it is very important……it is musch I dislike about kadie’s father but whenit comes to her I remain fair and balanced and I don’t dog him to kadie or others just about our mess but as a daddy naw he pass…..lol

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:42 am

abc my aunt brought my uncle a riding lawn mower yesterday….lol

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
9:45 am

My dad has struggled with drug addiction since his Army days and at almost 52, he still struggles to this day

JtJ – I’m sorry to hear that. My dad was too tall to serve (in the draft), my uncle came back from Vietnam with a drinking problem. He says there is stuff that happened that he’ll never recover from.

AmazonRed™ - We will be victorious. Go Lakers!

June 17th, 2010
9:46 am

@ Lady J…Wow!! That seems odd, but I guess not.

JtJ – I initially thougth the same thing…but I also assume (perhaps incorrectly) that single mom’s date less than non-moms to begin with.

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
9:47 am

I feel you Lady J!! I have a good relationship with my ex because I know they love their dad just the same as when we were together. In their eyes, he can do no wrong!!
Now, we have our disagreements sometimes, over what is appropriate and what is not, and the quickness of how he likes to introduce them to his newest boos, but other than that, he goes to great lengths to be there for them and in over 5 years of being divorced, he has only missed 1 or 2 weekends of not getting them…..so he pass, too!!

JtJ

June 17th, 2010
9:51 am

@ Ared…what’s confusing is he really is smart and stron-minded, so I can’t understand how he can’t will himself to stay clean. I know he served out of the country for a few years, but nothing as tramatic as a war or any killing…not that I know of. I am not sure how he got hooked on them, he just did. I remember stopping to see him on a trip home a few years back and he came to the door with the “white” powder on the tip of his nose. I started crying and hugged him and just wiped it off :(

For Real

June 17th, 2010
9:52 am

It’s good see the blog ladies talking about their dad but abc has point. So, my suggest to blog ladies whose dad are still with them, make his favorite dinner on Monday but on Sunday take him out to a restaurant with nice linen and the servers that don’t wear name tags. Spend some money on him and stop buying the last minute gift WE KNOW. All those lawn mowers, tools, and grills you were planning to buy, purchase them on July 20th and make it a “just because” gift cause guess what WE LIKE THOSE GIFTS TOO!! Those ladies whose fathers are out town, put a little something, something in the card.

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:52 am

Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL

June 17th, 2010
9:53 am

for real I will soon but not this weekend I am not going to sc this weekend the holiday has nothing to do with it……lol but great point nevertheless….

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
9:55 am

I would hope the guys I dated had at least 1 kid, because I knew they would understand the issues of timing and planning.

@ JtJ, i’ve sort of adopted this mentatilty also, after dealing with a few guys who couldn’t understand that as a mom I cant just drop everything and do what they want whenever they want.

Living Life

June 17th, 2010
9:59 am

Good Morning All,
Each day I get to spend with my father is a great one no matter what. When I was younger I was definitely a daddy’s girl b/c I was the only girl. This is how I use to bribe him and it would work and heck still would work till this day, but I had my daughter so now she is taking my spot:-) When I had my daughter my father was in VA dealing with his uncles death and a few days later my daughter came and I tell you my father was flying down the highway to get back to the A to see her. I had a complicated pregnancy and he was right there with me. After she was able to come home he stayed up with her through the night and let me get some rest for several weeks. They have formed a bond out of this world. She does have some issues, but I am so thankful that he was there and still is here for us today!!! He says she brings so much joy to his life.
Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful fathers out there!!!!

PrincessNik

June 17th, 2010
10:00 am

but I also assume (perhaps incorrectly) that single mom’s date less than non-moms to begin with

@ ARed, I think it depends on the woman, some single mom’s have the type of childs father who is dependable and they have a schedule and she has more time to be available to date without having to find a babysitter etc. Also, some have a strong family network who don’t mind helping out so that the mom can go out. My sister and I have been known to do a child swap, i keep her daughter and mine so that she can do something and then she does the same so that i can do something. Sometimes we get mom to keep them both so we can both have a “break”.