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Battling birthday blues, how do you cope?

So I have a birthday coming up this month, which means I will probably go through a period of “woe is me” my life isn’t where I want it to be yet.  I always treat birthdays like some kind of weird deadline that I somehow missed.  As if I have gone an entire year accomplishing nothing.  I know it’s completely ridiculous, but in my head, that’s how I perceive it sometimes.

Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family that always make a big deal of my birthday.  Even when I try to avoid everyone and pretend the birthday isn’t happening. They don’t let me wallow in self-pity for long.

It sounds so silly, but I admit that being single (with no real prospects) on my birthday is far worse then rolling solo any other time of the year.  Believe it or not, I handle the holidays without lamenting about my singlehood. I relish in it, even; but when my birthday approaches I almost have to fight off a case of the birthday blues .

Does being single during your birthday ever bother you?  Do you have moments when you wish that you had someone special in your life? Does it happen randomly or during a special time? How do you handle it?

What is the best way to celebrate your birthday when you are single and ready to mingle?

What is your most memorable birthday? I would love to hear about it!

423 comments Add your comment

Luvbug

June 9th, 2010
10:13 am

Awww man…the pimp cup? LOL

The bet the party was a blast!

Melo

June 9th, 2010
10:14 am

Miss Moni?

..what pics..lemme see a sampling??

czBrat

June 9th, 2010
10:17 am

Hey cz..how you ,mami?
bien, bien mamacita. how u doin?

and to those talking about skydiving, might i suggest skyventure in orlando instead. just as much fun and nowhere near as life threatening. :lol:

Miss Moni

June 9th, 2010
10:18 am

@ PrincessNik: I can so relate to being able to deal with a lacking V-Day. My birthday is a few days AFTER V-DAY so I’m already CELEBRATING anyway, S/O or NOT.

@ Professor: Seems as if you have a party to plan! :-D

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:19 am

Miss Moni your ENVIRONMENT does affect ya!!!!! LMAO!

czBrat

June 9th, 2010
10:19 am

and did i actually see the words DIVA CUP is someone’s post ??? … cuz eeeewwww!

What time is it...

June 9th, 2010
10:20 am

I enjoy birthday celebrations filled with friends and family, food and drinks. My favorite was Lordy, Lordy…I turned Forty. And this years Alive at Forty-Five (Prince vs. Michael Jackson party). Since I am single, I invite all of the women that I’m dating to come to the party. Two of them got upset, but everyone kept their cool. I want people to witness my life. Is it ok to let the people you are dating see the competition?

@Purple Rain, I changed my moniker (My Name is Prince) to show respect. I am a huge Prince fan as well. Started back in the 80’s when Prince, The Time and Vanity 6 went on tour. I haven’t missed a concert tour since. I have seen Prince live in Detroit, Atlanta, Washington, DC and Alabama. Even considered quitting work to follow Prince on tour around the US (still may do that one, when he tours again).

Miss Moni

June 9th, 2010
10:20 am

@ Luvbug: It was definitely 1 to REMEMBER!!!

Miss Moni

June 9th, 2010
10:21 am

@ czBrat: It is used for BIRTHDAYS only!!! :-D

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:21 am

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
10:23 am

I’m good cz…..actually having a moment as I read all of this positivity and celebration of US….To all the Queens of the MIA blog:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Maya Angelou

Luvbug

June 9th, 2010
10:24 am

Lordy, Lordy…I turned Forty. And this years Alive at Forty-Five (Prince vs. Michael Jackson party).

You guys are showing out on Bdays. Maybe I’ll consider getting into the spirit of it.

I won’t be inviting all my exs though. LOL

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:27 am

Luvbug I am ROTFLMBAO SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kimmie

June 9th, 2010
10:27 am

Good Mornting Crew!

I look at my birthday not as all the things I haven’t accomplished in a year..but with a grateful heart that I made it another year..without hurt, harm or danger

Kym, I like that!

There have been a few times where I felt a little sad, but after losing some dear loved ones, some that were young and in their prime, I am more thankful and reflective. Now I see every year that I am not only alive, but healthy and thriving, I am extremely grateful.

My birthday is January 17, so most folks are just getting over Christmas. Usually there is some kind of “snow” that hits just around my birthday too, so living in Atlanta you know what that means! Mom said there were snow flurries when I was born!

Anyway, this year my SO gave me a wonderful birthday party, and he catered it mostly himself.

But yeah, birthday is the time to go wild and really LIVE IT UP!!!

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:28 am

SassyMe i did that in my Debutante Ball years back! awww now I have a daughter!!!! hope she embraces that ball! I won’t force it on her! LOL

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
10:33 am

Lady J that poem surmises the vibe I’m reading/feeling this morning and I was moved….truly. I hope your daughter embraces the Debutante Ball as well, I think that’d be something awesome for you two to share together.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:35 am

girl that will be the only time I will go through great lengths for her to win and if she does my sorority chapter’s DB if I am still in Atlanta girl I will be shouting best believe! I will turn it out for her and welcome her as she embraces her ladyhood! TEARS! LOL

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:36 am

Sassy all Kadie would have to do is show up! LOL

czBrat

June 9th, 2010
10:37 am

ok, Moni. i’ll try to scratch that other image from my eyes.

Sassy, i know we’re chided for taking up post space with lyrics, but that poem is an absolute fave. thank u!!

on a b-day note …. thing 1 (my first-born) turns 21 next week and has scrapped her plans to go to fla to party with friends in favor of celebrating this milestone with la familia. i’m so proud! and already planning the menu.

fyi Leggs … it will include jerk chicken sliders on coco bread. YEAH BABY!!

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:38 am

awwww czBrat that is beautiful!!!!!!! yall enjoy!!!!

Luvbug

June 9th, 2010
10:39 am

jerk chicken sliders on coco bread

Yuuuummmy!! I could taste that as I read it. LOL

Jeff

June 9th, 2010
10:39 am

My most memorable birthday was my 30th when my wife (ex) bought me a 1969 Mercedes convertible. Women hit on me in that car when the wife was in there with me, and yes I had a ring on.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:40 am

luvbug I want some now! LOL coco bread is it!!!! LOL

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:40 am

jeff that is cute!!!!!

SexyCool - Live. Laugh. Love.

June 9th, 2010
10:41 am

Luvbug

June 9th, 2010
10:42 am

Wow Jeff. What a gift!!! Not trying to be funny, but did she take it with her when you all split?

Harvey Pardue

June 9th, 2010
10:43 am

My wife is turning 50 in a couple of weeks. She does seem down and has asked that we not celebrate her birthday because she just wants to forget about it. Is this just a typical female thing? I have already reached that milestone birthday a few years ago and don’t remember being bothered by it.

Melo

June 9th, 2010
10:45 am

Women hit on me in that car when the wife was in there with me, and yes I had a ring on

jeff that is cute!!!!!

:shock: :evil: :lol:

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
10:45 am

Lady J I soo believe that!..

You’re welcome cz…

Leggs

June 9th, 2010
10:49 am

@czB ~ please freeze one of those sliders for me. I’ll meet up with you to get it (LOL).

It’s amazing how the color “red” affects men. I have two lunch dates just because of this dress…I’m doing the damn thing! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
10:50 am

yall I am ready for @Maxwell and @ jillscott baby!!!!!!!!!!! what in the hezzy am I going to wear???!!!??? this is bout to be a great weekend coming up!!! a Me weekend these last two have been family oriented these next 2 I am doing me with grown folks! LOL

czBrat

June 9th, 2010
10:51 am

SexyC, you’ve been missed!

Harvey, i don’t know if it’s ‘typical’. everyone one in my circle that has reached 50 has made a very big deal of it. please do something special with and for her anyway. help her come out of that dismal outlook about turning 50. it’s a beautiful thing! and as they say …. much better than the alternative :wink:

SexyCool - Live. Laugh. Love.

June 9th, 2010
10:51 am

The 378th Annual Festival de la SexyCool this past October was probably one of the best birthdays thus far.

We celebrated with GNO (Girls Night Out) on Friday.
Couples Bowling on Saturday.
And me and the dude alone together on Sunday.

It was really my first time ever having a real series of planned events for my birthday. It was cool how my folks came out and celebrated with me.

My 40th birthday is coming up in 2 years also. Initially, I am planning “40days and 40nights of SexyCool” with some sort of activity for the 40 days or nights leading up to my birthday. I will be inviting my favorite folks on the planet to join me for things like massages, mani/pedis, drinks on patios, card parties, cookouts, a couple of weekend trips and a whole lot of fun and debauchery. But…not so much that I kill myself. I will be turning 40.

Leggs

June 9th, 2010
10:51 am

@Harvey Pardue ~ it is typical although I never understood it. I was chided by a few friends for being so chipper about turning 50. Hell, if you have your health, your eyesight, your hearing, your ability to walk and talk, a job and place to eat and sleep, why not be happy. If you’re not in a relationship SO WHAT. Many more should embrace the fact that they’re able to see another year.

SexyCool - Live. Laugh. Love.

June 9th, 2010
10:52 am

Um, yeah…that was the 37th. LOL!

Hey, czB.

PrincessNik...7/27 LEO ALL DAY ERY DAY

June 9th, 2010
10:53 am

“40days and 40nights of SexyCool”

:lol: That’s Whats up!

Miss Moni

June 9th, 2010
10:54 am

@ SexyCool: Now that’s what I’m talking about, LOVE it!!! :-D

kimmie

June 9th, 2010
10:58 am

SCool – Sounds like a blast! When is your SO’s birthday?

My SO’s birthday is Jan 30, so we really end up celebrating for a month!

Professor

June 9th, 2010
10:58 am

Leggs what color is that dress? I see you are wearing those go get’em dresses…LOL :grin:

@Lady J I need to think about what I am going to wear too! I need to borrow Leggs’ dress

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
11:00 am

LOL hot mess professor! Leggs is pullin’ them with it! Enjoy lunch leggs!

Harvey Pardue

June 9th, 2010
11:03 am

Thanks guys. I’m affraid I’ve tried the “you’ve got your health” and “It’s better than the alternative” routes. Neither proved to be of much consolation to my dear wife. Hopefully she will snap out of it soon.

SexyCool - Live. Laugh. Love.

June 9th, 2010
11:03 am

He just turned 33 on the 1st. He didn’t want me to make a big deal out of his birthday this year. So, to respect his wishes, I took him out and got him *white boy wasted*.

I didn’t know how gone he was until the hangover the next morning, his hazy memory of the night before and the two days of recovery time. LOL!

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
11:04 am

yall I am faced teaching a 8th grade preggo child for the summer Lord be with her! I remember my classmate was preggo early in school like before high and she made it it was rough but I tell ya! she just told me her prenatals made her sleepy I promise I didn’t know until she annnounced it in class as attention seeker! sigh :(

Leggs

June 9th, 2010
11:06 am

Red dress, red pumps, red earrings, red panties and red bra (although no one will see those). :lol: :lol: :lol:

It would nice on you Prof!

Melo

June 9th, 2010
11:07 am

40days and 40nights of Sex………………………………………………………….yCool”

yep…. :lol:

thats whats up Sexxy!

Professor

June 9th, 2010
11:08 am

@Lady J dang my heart goes out to your student, but I had a classmate who made it through HS and some college she was preggo in the 8th grade too. I see her from time to time and she is doing well.

Mrs. Tazzee the Newlywed

June 9th, 2010
11:09 am

Morning Folks!

peeping in from work

Lady J Congrats on aceing (sp?) your midterm. You just got another reason to celebrate.

Wise Diva Girl you are going to be too busy this month to even think about not having a man on your birthday! I’m like Kym in that my birthday was always the one holiday when a man was the LAST thing on my mind. I was too busy celebrating me. My best years were 34 – 38. 34th was celebrated with a trip to NYC. 3rd row center seats to A Raisin in the Sun. 35th a bunch of girlfriends and I went on a cruise. The prelude to that trip was the main crew hanging out in Orlando for a day. 36th was the Tom Joyner cruise with friends. 37th was spent on the beach in Miami alone (after a cruise with family) and my 38th started with hanging out at J’ville beach alone followed by a week of celebration in Atlanta.

Ironically, my first birthday with the now hubby was spent nursing him back to health because he had a motorcycle accident. And my 40th was VERY low-key compared to what I imagined years ago. But that’s because I’d just finished an entire month of celebrating with the bachelorette soiree, wedding and honeymoon. Nonetheless, I still spent time with some of my closest friends on my actual b-day.

SCool I’m volunteering for the job of karaoke host on my night of your 40days and 40nights of SCool ;-)

Leggs

June 9th, 2010
11:10 am

@Harvey Pardue ~ you saying she got her health will definitely fall on deaf ears. A woman turning 50 doesn’t want to hear that. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her she should be thankful she doesn’t look 50 (even if it’s a small white lie). If you have the funds, ask her to pick out a special gift she would like. Bottom line, keep complimenting her. Take her to her favorite restaurant after buying her a beautiful dress to wear.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
11:11 am

yep me too mine is doing well too it was just a major rough start! she has 4 kids now my girl from back home but she is a hard working smart woman! always has been just got caught in the act….

Melo

June 9th, 2010
11:11 am

teaching a 8th grade preggo child

@Lady J??

thats a real shame..LAWD have Mercy…who does that to a kid?? and where is the parent in all this…

Thats a crime really!