accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Battling birthday blues, how do you cope?

So I have a birthday coming up this month, which means I will probably go through a period of “woe is me” my life isn’t where I want it to be yet.  I always treat birthdays like some kind of weird deadline that I somehow missed.  As if I have gone an entire year accomplishing nothing.  I know it’s completely ridiculous, but in my head, that’s how I perceive it sometimes.

Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family that always make a big deal of my birthday.  Even when I try to avoid everyone and pretend the birthday isn’t happening. They don’t let me wallow in self-pity for long.

It sounds so silly, but I admit that being single (with no real prospects) on my birthday is far worse then rolling solo any other time of the year.  Believe it or not, I handle the holidays without lamenting about my singlehood. I relish in it, even; but when my birthday approaches I almost have to fight off a case of the birthday blues .

Does being single during your birthday ever bother you?  Do you have moments when you wish that you had someone special in your life? Does it happen randomly or during a special time? How do you handle it?

What is the best way to celebrate your birthday when you are single and ready to mingle?

What is your most memorable birthday? I would love to hear about it!

423 comments Add your comment

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
8:16 am

Good Morning Crew!!!!

I must admit while I got over the Holiday’s with a smile being single my approaching birthday has me a bit twisted…….the past three years for my bday has been with my former FWB person……..that is not the case this year thank God!!!!!!! No need to waste time with someone where the relationship is going no where…..lol…..now my summer theme is girlfriend affairs and group settings……I am truly not complaining and thankful for my growth to stand alone and not force dead end relationships any more….it is just a thought or reminder that this year birthday I am truly feeling some kind of way……..being 30 has been great!!! 2010 has been awesome too!!!! so I will take and build on that for 31 and continue to be a better person and allow love to find me!!!!!! :)

livinglife

June 9th, 2010
8:25 am

Good Morning Lady J… My first bday after leaving my husband was difficult, but I got through it with awesome friends who said we are going out. I am so thankful for them doing that. Now I am okay and trust that love will find me when the time is right.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
8:26 am

What is the best way to celebrate your birthday when you are single and ready to mingle? If I fail to travel to Miami or some other place I am going to do several celebrations around the city with severla of my different groups of associates…..starting with No Mas! Catina, Sweet Auburn Bistro, Chow Baby, a concert, planned Happy Hours, and things around the city I have yet to do like Imax and Martinis……lol…..I love to plan and entertain so I will plan it up the month of August and I know how to alternate each group on different dates to get everyone in……lol….I am so not interested in a birthday party perse…….maybe @ 35 or 40 but def not 31……..lol

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
8:28 am

Lady J you’re on fire already,chica. That post shows you growing as a person and knowing your value as a woman b/c you choose to NOT entertain dead relationships. I did that,too recently and I feel so much better about it and most of all ME. :-)

No need to waste time with someone where the relationship is going no where…..lol…..now my summer theme is girlfriend affairs and group settings……I am truly not complaining and thankful for my growth to stand alone and not force dead end relationships any more….

Worth repeating…

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
8:29 am

hey livinglife believe or not you crossed my mind lately…..your advice to me really sticks and I am standing and learning me more!!!! great friends does make it easier and I refuse to regress for a dead end relationship and I swear it is standing there waiting for me to come back…….I laugh @ him! he doesn’t even know where to place me bc I am not the same person he knew! LOL this is the FWB…….When my ex husband left that was that I told him he would NEVER come back this way with how he left me! LOL

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
8:31 am

awwwww thanks sassy me I am about to tear up!!!! I am like WD it is something about our birthdays baby!!!!! LOL!
taking a stroll! LOL these are happy tears! lol

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
8:36 am

You deserve nothing but the best Lady J but I’m going to tell you something Iyanla Vanzant said in her book “The Meantime”….”It’s okay to give yourself the things that others aren’t giving you”…so DO YOU baby girl! :lol:

The Real Chow Baby is cute I think you’d like it…I’d also like try the Sweet Auburn Bistro as well so keep me posted on that…

livinglife

June 9th, 2010
8:41 am

Awww.. Thanks Lady J..We have to give each other encouragement when we are wonderful people and others don’t treat you right and you deserve so much more. Yeah my ex was still trying to come back, but I refuse to live in the past I want to look toward a great future and be happy. Keep me posted on all these gatherings in August.

Kym

June 9th, 2010
8:43 am

Good Morning All,

WHAT!!?? WHAT??!! IS THIS !!! Wisey! are you sure you are a Cancer? I mean the blues about a birthday? Come on sugar! I mean I can get the blues about a dude maybe at Christmas..or around Arbor Day. But my birthday? Naw that day is all about me and nothing gets me down about my day. I look at my birthday not as all the things I haven’t accomplished in a year..but with a grateful heart that I made it another year..without hurt, harm or danger—and thats to other people..but I digress. I guess if I get the blues about singlehood..its at random times. Maybe if I hold a cute baby I will think awwwww it might be nice to do this again..but that quickly passes when “the boy” walks pass or ask me for money for some silliest. I am coming up on the Big 40 in two years and I am already planning my day or rather my year. I want to go to London, I want to take another cruise, I want to learn to play golf. I am ready for a whole heap of new adventures..maybe it will include a guy..maybe it wont.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
8:43 am

yeah the Real Chow Baby is all that!!!!!! Chile I loved it my first visit!!!!!! you are right I deserve the best and my worth and potential has even been touched or used!!! I have what it takes but I won’t allow to be a fool again best believe that! yep 2010 I have been doing J and getting it in….it has beeen good, bad, and ugly in 2010 but my internal happiness allows me to appreciate each encounter! YES I LOVE ME!!!!! I am exhaling! ;)

PrincessNik...7/27 LEO ALL DAY ERY DAY

June 9th, 2010
8:45 am

Whats up ya’ll

I have a birthday coming up myself and I’m not sure how i feel about it. I wanna have a ball I do know that, And the newbie and I are still taking things slowly so technically I’m still without a “boyfriend” per say ;) Last year i didn’t have time to be sad or whatever, I spent my birthday weekend moving into my 30th Bday gift to myself :)

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
8:46 am

Hey there my buddy PrincessNik!!!!! Leo’s ROCK BABY!!!!!! :)

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
8:56 am

I am coming up on the Big 40 in two years and I am already planning my day or rather my year.

Me,too but I have no clue on what I want to do….plus with a birthday a day before Chrihmus I don’t know where to begin…

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
8:59 am

I ACED my midterm crew!!!! I am so enjoying completing this Masters program!!!!!!! Going back to school solidfied much and keeps me productive!!!!!

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:00 am

Hola!

wassup LadyJ! I love your posts this AM you are on fire! Hey Sassy and PK

Hmmmm

The B-day Blues I understand the deadline thingy I do that a lot. I want to achieve _________________ by 35 and ___________ by 40. I think that is good, but I usually achieve my goals and I know what a win is in life. Sometimes a win my mean you did buy that house by 30 in accordance to with your deadline, but you have saved more $$$$ so you will be more prepared and have a successful home ownership when you do.

As for needing an SO to help me have a good time on my B-day. Nawwwwwww I know enough single people that love getting out so I will have a blast with them. Not to mention I was not born with a twin and don’t mind kicking it solo.

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
9:01 am

I ACED my midterm crew!!!!

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! You go girl!!

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
9:01 am

Hola Professora, como esta?

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:04 am

Hey Professor!!!! Thanks for being on my team!!!! You ROCK honey!!!! ;)

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:04 am

@Sassy I am with you I am a Christmas baby too, so it is a little difficult pulling everyone together…I might do a New Year’s Eve celebration centered around ME.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:06 am

you are right about saving money and trust no matter what 1st time home buyer no down payment or payment assisted programs that are out there I will have a stable savings when I leave my mother’s home……I am pacing myself and not timing my self in that area! My child will appreciate in the long run!

Good Post Professor!

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
9:08 am

I might do a New Year’s Eve celebration centered around ME.

Now that is an idea right thurr….

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:09 am

@Sassy I am good, and you?

@Lady J Thanks and you know you ROCK!!!! Congrats on the midterm, but I already knew you would ace it! This is your time!!!!!!

@PK congrats on the house! I know you will not be said this year because that marks your one year anniversay in your home. You can always do an event in your house invite some friends over for games and drinks and plain ol’ girl talk

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:09 am

did yall see the Lakers SHOW UP & SHOW OUT last night!!!!!! yep they did that and Derek Fisher ROCKS!!!!!!;)

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:10 am

yep pk that is a celebration!!! I am happy for you chica!!!!!

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
9:12 am

I can’t complain Professor….and even if I could I still wouldn’t ’cause it won’t change anything. I’m greatfull and inspired.

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:13 am

I am pacing myself and not timing my self

@Lady J that is so important! Once we get this we can do anything!

@Sassy I’ve been thinking about that over the years. I want to do something fun and classy at my home, or maybe a concert with a close, selective group and dinner before the show or even take a trip. I think about it every year, but I haven’t planned it yet. Maybe this will be the year!

Luvbug

June 9th, 2010
9:15 am

I didn’t grow up celebrating birthdays, so not much to say on the topic of that specific day. However, I do have moments of reflection when I get flustered about my life…mainly career.

I’ve never really set a goal around an age, but at this age I thought I’d be solid on what I wanted in life…not.

Anywho, good friends and a good time out should do you just fine on your birthday. Hell, why even go out? Have a casual party at your house with adult games…maybe catering…maybe massages, facials…maybe an in house screen on the green…with some close friends.

Wise Diva

June 9th, 2010
9:15 am

Good morning sunshines!

I know Kym, it’s so bizarre! I can’t stand it either LOL.

Luvbug

June 9th, 2010
9:16 am

Congrats on your exams Lady J!!!

Leggs

June 9th, 2010
9:19 am

WOW, I have never had the birthday blues…never…I’m excited every year. I so looked forward to turning 50 when that time approached. Have no doubt I’ll have the same attitude turning 70 (God willing)!

@SassyMe ~ congrats on aceing your midterm!

livinglife

June 9th, 2010
9:19 am

@Lady J..Way to go!!! I hear you and professor about saving money before buying a house. I had to move home for a while too and get things in order to get ready to purchase a house this month. Yes, they will always have various programs out there no rush keep pacing yourself. Everything will work out as it is suppose to.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:20 am

Thanks Luvbug and LivingLife!!!!!! I am enjoying this ride!!!!! Being 30 has been cool!!! It is a self party like no other!!!!! I control this ship baby!!!!! LOL!

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:21 am

Leggs I ACED my midterm! LOL!!!!

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:22 am

@Luvbug I agree I am picky about who I let in my house…I need positive energy and positive people there, but there is nothing like inviting four or five folks over and having a great time. Last year I cooked a pan of lasanga, salad and breadsticks along with tea, water and a pitcher of sangria. My friends had a wonderful afternoon just talking…listening to music and chilling. This was an unplanned event I wanted some lasanga and they said they were coming over to help me eat! Just think how wonderful a plan event will go with good friends.

JtJ

June 9th, 2010
9:22 am

Hey All,

I must admit you all are “GLOWING” on here this morning!!! Lady J your posts are bursting at the seams with happiness!!! I am happy for you chica!!! I am happy for all of you all who understand the importance of self 1st!!!

I,too, will be celebrating b-day #31 later this year,as a new wife and I am so excited. This year has been a very blessed year and we are only 1/2 way through it.

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated whether it is an all out bash or just hanging with some friends, don’t let your day be clouded by your relationship status. I celebrated my 30th with my girlfriends and female family members with a Girl’s Night Out at Taboo 2. It was awesome, we had a ball !! This year I know I will do something different and wild and crazy!!

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 9th, 2010
9:23 am

Have a casual party at your house with adult games…maybe catering…maybe massages, facials…maybe an in house screen on the green…with some close friends.

Luvbug that sounds exellent!….that’s a great idea. Kinda sounds like an “Adult Playdate”….that’s what’s up

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:24 am

thanks jtj!!!! it is internal and the flame is burning!!! on my worse day I can still smile with ease!

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:24 am

livinglife~ I tell people I am on my own clock. I do not compare my self to the Joneses because I am Professor not a Jones. To me there is nothing like having a solid foundation. When I purchased my house it was easy because I had a plan.

PrincessNik...7/27 LEO ALL DAY ERY DAY

June 9th, 2010
9:26 am

You can always do an event in your house invite some friends over for games and drinks and plain ol’ girl talk

@ Hey Professor! ^^^ that’s the plan ;)

Hey Lady J

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:29 am

Preach “A Plan”!!!!! That is for anything in life…..I learned this later but having a plan is essential with moving forward in the right direction……I am a planning fool and also becoming less rigid with embracing God’s timing and mine! He gives us common sense and he guides us and is there for us unconditionally…..I am a believer although I am no saint he has never failed me yet!

Leggs

June 9th, 2010
9:30 am

See, reading is fundamental…

@LadyJ ~ congrats on YOU aceing your midterm. You are a gem in every single way!!! Luv ya!

AmazonRed™ - That's 2! Go Lakers!

June 9th, 2010
9:31 am

Morning all –

I did have a particulary heinus birthday while I was single. I was seeing somebody, but he flaked last minute and I was alone. I think it was my 30th at that. Though I celebrated hard in Vegas a few days later, it wasn’t the same.

Being single typically never bothers me, but there are times when it’s just inconvenient. I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with thoughtful guys in my life, who at least remind me I am loved.

As for the holidays, I enjoy being single as I can make my own plans without having to worry about someone else’s family. Not to say I wouldn’t enjoy bouncing from house to house with my s/o.

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:31 am

I just really believe that when you are happy with who you are and you can embrace yourself…man or no man you will find a way to celebrate and enjoy life.

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:32 am

Thanks Leggs!!! luv ya back!!!

Melo

June 9th, 2010
9:33 am

the past three years for my bday has been with my former FWB person

@Lady J??

Now, i really understand! :lol: :lol:

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:34 am

but there are times when it’s just inconvenient.<———that is where some frustration lies but it is not for me to control……lol

DreamsMaterialize

June 9th, 2010
9:34 am

Hey, hey, hey break up the Iyanla Vanzant session! lol I’m kidding. Love to all the ladies growing, progressing, and handling their business. I see you all growing into your crowns, and I’m with that all day.

On Topic: I don’t really get into holidays, so birthdays have never been a big deal for me. Now, I’ll never turn down a good time, so if friends or fam want to get together and celebrate, I’m down. On the other hand, I’m just as good doing whatever I would usually do on that day of the week.

czBrat

June 9th, 2010
9:34 am

GM All!
can’t identify with today’s topic at all. i enjoy every occasion with or w/o a special someone in the pic because i always have my friends and family, and they are what make celebrations special to me. i do believe that when you’re coupled up it enhances the good times, but there is simply no ‘woe is me’ factor in my life for lack of an s/o at any time.

”….”It’s okay to give yourself the things that others aren’t giving you” luv that Sassy!

YAY!! LadyJ …. just do the damn thing girl!

Lady J-Leo-Lioness

June 9th, 2010
9:35 am

professor you are a cautious chica and sometimes I am dying laughin’ @ you cause you are NOT playing with who you let in your space! LOL

Professor

June 9th, 2010
9:36 am

@ARed I would have been PO’ed. My thing is be grown and let me know, but don’t play games. You could have made plans with some of your girls, but it is all good and at least that told you what you were dealing with. After reading you for the last year I know he was dealt the hand as in bye-bye.