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Most attractive quality?

One of the best parts of dating someone new is finding out more about them.  It’s really fun when you ask questions and get answers that please you and make you even more hopeful.  At the same time, it can also dash your hopes of going to the next level.

I’m the type that would rather know early if we have good potential or not so I tend to ask a lot of questions.  Not in the investigative journalist kind of way, though.  I just try to include questions in general discussions and pay attention to the response.

Once you get past their outer layer and stop marveling about how great they look, you can learn a lot about a person if you actually listen to them speak. This is why I think people become more attractive as we get more acquainted with them.

What do you think is the most attractive quality?  Other than their looks, what trait do you think really makes someone stand out?  How often do you meet someone with that quality?  Do you feel that you possess it?

472 comments Add your comment

Professor

June 8th, 2010
11:43 am

@czBrat he has to mop! :grin:

Did you see my post to you yesterday evening?

Melo

June 8th, 2010
11:44 am

@Ared/Kimmie??

I wld never do what my brother is doing coz i know when i was hiss age(34+) and now, i like my own space and take pride in my own personal stuff/belongings and achievements and wld never want to spnge on another person…..

the females who are just so ready to let a man phlucck her on her bed,bath with her water,live in her home,eat her food and smetimes even use her car all in order to have a man in the house or be called,”she got a man” just dumbfounds me. :shock:

kimmie

June 8th, 2010
11:45 am

For me it was holding on to a broken relationship just for the comfort of it.

Princess/Leggs – Same for me. I’ve spoken on here many times before that I’ve been guilty of holding on for far too long, hoping things would change! Wasted a lot of time & good years. Now I have no problem “keeping it moving”!

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:45 am

@ Kimmie, i have a friend similar to the one you speak of, not necessarily moving guys in, but having them around her daughter all willy nilly, she had a live in bf she found out was cheating, she put him out and less than a month later she had another dude chilling at the house while her daughter was home, I’m like really “where dey do dat at?”

AmazonRed™ - We're coming for Beantown. Go Lakers!

June 8th, 2010
11:48 am

I wld never do what my brother is doing coz i know when i was hiss age(34+) and now, i like my own space and take pride in my own personal stuff/belongings and achievements and wld never want to spnge on another person…..

melo – I agree. I don’t think I could ever feel settled or safe sponging off someone else. I would never ever feel comfortable.

Clearly, some people can.

czBrat

June 8th, 2010
11:48 am

i will admit to an act of desperation. i stayed in my marriage and accepted much abusive behavior because i was desperate to see a fairytale ending. we were high school sweethearts that everyone in school hated on and all hoped he would dog me like he had done every other girl in town. but we fell in love, got married and had two beautiful kids. when he went back to his doggish behavior, i chose to conceal it in order to keep up the appearance of wedded bliss. i was desperate to prove everyone else wrong and fulfill the promise of happily ever after.

oh well …. live and learn …. and live happily ever after as a better woman with a better man :wink:

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:48 am

the females who are just so ready to let a man phlucck her on her bed,bath with her water,live in her home,eat her food and smetimes even use her car all in order to have a man in the house or be called,”she got a man” just dumbfounds me.

yep SMDH

Timeless

June 8th, 2010
11:48 am

Guys and girls, with all this talk about being strong and weak, this is my take: true masculinity and true feminity do not require the other to be weaker, but rather compatible.

kimmie

June 8th, 2010
11:49 am

i like my own space and take pride in my own personal stuff/belongings and achievements and wld never want to spnge on another person…..

Melo – That’s called being an adult and I would expect any responsible man I deal with to have the same mindset. Dang, have some PRIDE!

And yeah, those type of desperate women you describe dumbfound me too.

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:49 am

And, let me clarify to those who have lived with another shortly after meeting, be it 3 months or 11 months. For some, hopefully many, they believed they were in love and were working toward something together. It’s not always a “desperate” move to move in together.

kimmie

June 8th, 2010
11:50 am

Timeless – True!

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:51 am

And, let me clarify to those who have lived with another shortly after meeting, be it 3 months or 11 months. For some, hopefully many, they believed they were in love and were working toward something together. It’s not always a “desperate” move to move in together.

@ Leggs, you have a valid point let me just encourage those folks to do their due-dillegance before seeking to pursue cohabitation (if that is their choice.) Find out who people really are and what they really are about.

Professor

June 8th, 2010
11:51 am

@Lady J I love your 11:37 I can hear you saying “I’m NOT doing IT!!!” LOL

@Melo I’ve owned my own home and NOT ONE Man you hear me NOT ONE has lived with me…I AM NOT DOING IT plus plenty folks shack not just black chicks :grin:

Re the Strawberry Letter: $900 or going to the Wolfman is not a lot to spend to get rid of dead weight. Why did she have to ask Steve Harvey that call the po-po while he is laying across the couch. She seems like a successful lady she should hire a locksmith to lock his tail out, and call it a day.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:55 am

LMBAO Professor! I am NOT! LOL

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:56 am

@czB ~ I definitely can identify in most of what you said. We weren’t high school sweethearts.

But love this part :arrow: “and live happily ever after as a better woman with a better man” Yes indeedy!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:56 am

professor you and money honey!!!!!! LMBAO!!! Just do it right! LOL you are a mess! LMBAO!

czBrat

June 8th, 2010
11:57 am

i missed out on the afternoon action yesterday Professor. what did you post?

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:57 am

Awww, Loose Ends “Slow Down” is on….slow down, slow down baby! Is the part you take my heart, don’t wipe your feet on me!

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:59 am

For those 2 that answered me with honesty, thank you!

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
12:02 pm

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

If you won’t give me, what I’ve been missing, someone else will have to do…..

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
12:05 pm

Ok, who watched the Hip Hop Awards last night. I loved seeing 2 Live Crew, Flo Rida, Nelly and others. Loved that no musical segment was too long. Some of it was noise to my ears, but I liked the show overall.

Melo

June 8th, 2010
12:09 pm

I AM NOT DOING IT plus plenty folks shack not just black chicks

@Proff..

I know hear plenty folks do but i have never gone the other side so i truly dont know…..

maybe shacking fulfilles the thirst quench factor..we never think about it tho in our attempt to be level headed. :lol:

but looking back, i enjoyed it more sleeping in at her crib 4 a cpple hrs till 1.30 am etc,then crawling/driving in the middle of the nite,back to my crib or having her at mine then driving her to hers later.!

It appeared i was more pumped up by that than being at hers for 6/7 hrs till morn. :lol:

Professor

June 8th, 2010
12:10 pm

@Leggs I missed the Hip Hop Awards…shoot and I love the Dirty South!!

@cz here ya go @czBrat I forgot to tell you that I was a bit disappointed in meeting you after you didn’t sneak in the stewed chicken, rice and beans. :cry: I had to order off the menu Otherwise you were a joy :grin:

@Lady J I AM NOT!!!! I am not sure who said that about using the bath water, lights and all probably Melo, but I saw Luvbug name too. I AM NOT letting some Joker live with me using up my AC and eating all the Nutri Grain bars. Shoot my dog doesn’t freeload his job is to bark when someone lands on my property, and he is on duty 24/7 :grin:

AmazonRed™ - We're coming for Beantown. Go Lakers!

June 8th, 2010
12:10 pm

Leggs – I missed your question, but I don’t have real example for you.

I’ve shown up at a man’s house, several times, to confront a man I felt has wronged me. But it was never to try and keep him. It was more to make sure he knew he was messing with the wrong chick! :lol:

When I moved here, I was seeing a guy, and he did factor into my decision. But I wanted to move here anyway, and had several valid reasons in doing so. I’d do it again, actually cuz that decision has worked out well for me, even if the relationship did not.

CoolShadow

June 8th, 2010
12:11 pm

Guys and girls, with all this talk about being strong and weak, this is my take: true masculinity and true feminity do not require the other to be weaker, but rather compatible.

@ Timeless

Excellent analysis; I’ve noticed (especially in women) that the ones who spout on about their independence and “you can’t handle me” attitude are really masking fears and insecurities with bravado and in the process project those issues as a weakness in others’ character. Your occupation may require that type of persona but it needs to be checked at the door when you get home.

Beautiful

June 8th, 2010
12:11 pm

morning! @Wise . . . you right on time with dis one gurl!

*I’m the type that would rather know early if we have good potential or not so I tend to ask a lot of questions.*

i was accused last night of NOT asking questions at ALL! he seemed really disturbed by it, like it turned him off or something. i told him to please stop think’n that i’m like everyone else. i’ll ask a personal question when i see fit. i told him *with you being the dominant talker (talks a lot), you have already or will eventually answer a bulk of my questions. so calm the phuck down!!! (i really didn’t say that, but i thunk it!) LOL!

everyday we talk on the phone between 2 to 3 hrs (honeymoon stage). and he ask me every single time *you have any questions for me?*

fellas, why does he do this? we have already decided to take it slooooooooooow. so what’s the rush? :o /

it doesn’t take a lot for me to like a man. i’m attracted to him, he is VERY intelligent, funny and goofy, successful, a great dad, straight forward, and very hands on (giggle).

Professor

June 8th, 2010
12:16 pm

@Melo I know a wide range of people outside of the AA race and I have seen them shack as well. Also, I’ve seen a lot of shackers (may I call them that?) shack for one or two reasons (1) it is easier economically, instead of pay $650 rent $325 works better these are usually the young’uns or deadbeats and (2) not ready to do the marriage thingy, but they want the other side of the bed warm at night :grin:

Oh yea melo, meet me at Lakewood Train Station so I can get that $200 to start your par-tay. I think I will get some swiss midgets since you don’t know the otherside well. :grin:

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
12:19 pm

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 8th, 2010
12:21 pm

Ok, who watched the Hip Hop Awards last night.

I watched it and thought it was good. Also saw K-Ci a Jo-Jo on TvOne and they sounded like cats in heat and looked like hot ish on a platter….wha had happened?…..

I’ve owned my own home and NOT ONE Man you hear me NOT ONE has lived with me….

I know that’s right! I’ve never done it and I won’t EVER. Naturally I’ve had the chance and if I really wanted to I could’ve let my ex move in(he REALLY wanted to) with me but that also meant dealing with two young boys with ADHD and a retarded baby mama……NOT HAPPENING!! I would’ve ended up with a whole lot more problems/responsibilities than I would’ve wanted to deal with. I like my space just the way it is….drama free and uncomplicated. :-)

Beautiful

June 8th, 2010
12:22 pm

this is my babe’s topic for this morning on FB. he always got me sayin’ hmmmm . . .

*I think the most refined relationship is one in which you can comfortably be yourself without living under the glaring eyes of discontent.*

Luvbug

June 8th, 2010
12:23 pm

It’d be nice to read men actually mention positive attributes about women on subjects that are geared in a positive direction.

Professor

June 8th, 2010
12:27 pm

@Sassy ADHD and a retarded baby mama that is too much in one sentence, so you know that is too much going on under one roof :grin:

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 8th, 2010
12:28 pm

I’ve shown up at a man’s house, several times, to confront a man I felt has wronged me. But it was never to try and keep him. It was more to make sure he knew he was messing with the wrong chick!

Yeah I did that a couple of times,too. The first was back in the day when I found out this guy I was dating was seeing another….and she was pregnant. Well she and I got together and started talking and comparing “notes”….then we called his mom and told her what was up and what we were going to do. Saturday morning we got to his house and rang the doorbell…..he opened the door and was like :shock: and ran…literally. The second time I just showed up at dudes house(told the cabby to gimme 5 mins) with his stuff in a black plastic bag and threw that isht all over his wet dirty lawn….turned around and went to the movies to see “Thin like beween love and hate” with Martin Lawrence….

Melo

June 8th, 2010
12:28 pm

we have already decided to take it slooooooooooow. so what’s the rush?

Your Intuition is giving u the signals AND…….”you have any qstions for me”" is a classic way to try and get/trap u to ask the qstions he has prepped the answers already and “answer”"/ dismiss any hangups….to get the puddsy quicker!…..BUT

he may be on his way coz it doesn’t take a lot for U to like a man………so……

Let us know about the take down! :lol: :lol:

Run4Life

June 8th, 2010
12:28 pm

@Leggs

I’ve let a bad boy come in and out of my life for about a year. I don’t know why I allowed this to happen. After all we had nothing binding us. I guess I just wanted to win, and have him desire me more than I desired him. But it never happened, so I finally let go completely. I stopped taking his calls, texts, and emails. It only took him 3 weeks to give up. So much for how little he cared. LOL

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
12:29 pm

@ARed ~ it’s ok if you don’t have an answer to my question. That’s good. My point is many have acted in a desperate manner one way or another, but not many will admit it. It’s cool. We all have skeletons or shameful acts we’d rather sweep under the rug.

Beautiful

June 8th, 2010
12:29 pm

dang! gotta run . . . can’t play today. have a blessed tues.

Sassy Me....If you ask me I'm ready :-)

June 8th, 2010
12:29 pm

Yes Professor waay too much going on under one roof….somebody wasn’t going to make it.

:)

June 8th, 2010
12:31 pm

I beat up his mom

Mike P

June 8th, 2010
12:32 pm

Enter your comments here

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
12:33 pm

After all we had nothing binding us. I guess I just wanted to win, and have him desire me more than I desired him. But it never happened, so I finally let go completely.

Recognizing the essence of the problem is key in correcting the problem!

Professor

June 8th, 2010
12:34 pm

@ :) are you for real? Do tell? How old was his mom and why did you beat her up

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
12:36 pm

@ARed ~ do you remember the name of that limo service you told me about? I have no idea where I filed the informaton.

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
12:37 pm

I saw the hip hop honors last night, boy did it take me back LOL I was actually dozing off until I heard capn’ d coming capn’ d coming :lol:

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
12:38 pm

something was missing from the award show it was ok to say the least……lol

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
12:41 pm

Lady J

you not really into hip hop are ya? :) Or were you missing the SC hip hop scene :lol: j/k

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
12:41 pm

The fact that I watched the entire show spoke volumes. My child new the new songs, and I knew the old ones!

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
12:42 pm

Or what appeared to be new songs to me cuz some I never heard of.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
12:42 pm

wow a midtown build is being evacuated currently..i have many friends in that building ssa is in that building it is a bomb threat i tell ya fb tells everything along with the ajc! lol not funny though hope all is well

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
12:43 pm

PK stop I love TIMBERLAND! that is all! LOL and VA is a southern state! LOL