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Most attractive quality?

One of the best parts of dating someone new is finding out more about them.  It’s really fun when you ask questions and get answers that please you and make you even more hopeful.  At the same time, it can also dash your hopes of going to the next level.

I’m the type that would rather know early if we have good potential or not so I tend to ask a lot of questions.  Not in the investigative journalist kind of way, though.  I just try to include questions in general discussions and pay attention to the response.

Once you get past their outer layer and stop marveling about how great they look, you can learn a lot about a person if you actually listen to them speak. This is why I think people become more attractive as we get more acquainted with them.

What do you think is the most attractive quality?  Other than their looks, what trait do you think really makes someone stand out?  How often do you meet someone with that quality?  Do you feel that you possess it?

472 comments Add your comment

Melo

June 8th, 2010
10:54 am

@Leggs??

so the woman in the letter moved in with dude??

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
10:55 am

character is key-it speaks volumes without saying a word!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
10:56 am

hey PrincessNik!

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
10:57 am

Yes, Character is key. Character catapults the outcome of all other decisions made in life. Character is the cornerstone showing the extent of one’s soul. Without character, you are nothing but shallow!

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
10:57 am

No, Melo, she moved the dud in with her.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
10:58 am

slim lmbao@ you!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:01 am

yes Leggs and to lie, play silly mind games, disappearing acts, then texting and calling one back in rotation for men and woman is what makes their character unattractive in this dating game……….

Professor

June 8th, 2010
11:01 am

Hmmm here is my list:

1. Definitely a gentleman, because I like to be treated as a lady.
2. Has the ability to take charge and make it happen otherwise know has a leader.
3. Not afraid to communicate feelings…
4. Outgoing who wants a corny dude sitting around collecting dust.
5. Motivating
6. Well rounded and grounded.
7. Student and a teacher of life…we can learn and teach each other.
8. We share the same Biblical beliefs.
9. He knows how to mop, and will help me out in this area.
Flexible…Logical…Common Sense… :cool:

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:01 am

But we want and need you too but by our side, not in charge of us.

^5

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:02 am

100% Professor!!!!! great List chica! ;)

Miss Moni

June 8th, 2010
11:03 am

@ ARed: Character pretty much sums it up. Being with a man who totally believes a happy woman is the key to a peaceful home. . . PRICELESS!!!

kimmie

June 8th, 2010
11:03 am

Strawberry letter:

I met a man on BlackPeopleMeet.com and he appeared to be a great person. He had good principles, a car, a job and a condo. After meeting and dating for three months, I asked him to move in with my two kids and me. In my mind I figured that he would come in and we could work together to achieve our goals. The problem is about one month after he moved in his car disappeared with a story. Then the condo was not his, he was renting and owed rent. The job ended and he hasn’t had a long-term job in two years. I found out more lies such as the 52-inch TV that he purchased at SAMS club was actually rented. The engagement ring he claims he paid down on for me? Well, lets just say he never arrived at the store. To my defense, I used the economy as an excuse for his loss of income. When I asked him to apply at Wal-Mart or Home Depot he flatly refused, saying they don’t pay enough. Ok, I left out the part where he helped me paint the building where I have my business saving me $2000. He also helped me renovate an apartment that my tenant trashed which would have been about $3 or $4 thousand in damages. He helped me by picking up my children from school, saving me aftercare fees. He had some furniture, which was stored in my garage, which I sold to a tenant for $900 dollars. Now that I asked him to move out he wants the furniture back. I don’t think that I should have to pay him back. He owes me for using my leased car which he promised to pay the over mileage fee, he has been living without paying anything for the past year and seven months, he is on my cell phone plan, which I pay, and he uses my vehicle to go on HVAC jobs, which he picks up by referral. By the way did I mention that I checked his credit report and he owes $55,000 in back child support? How can I get him out? He refuses to leave until he gets the few pieces of furniture back or the money. What should this stupid 45-year-old do to get rid of this 46-year-old man?

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:04 am

Professor ^5!

Great list

Melo

June 8th, 2010
11:04 am

Run4Life??

lets clear this up first..:

u arent bitter at ( divorce,ex?) and since ur divorce,Right???

(coz its so pointless arguing debating with a bitter person) :lol:

Miss Moni

June 8th, 2010
11:05 am

@ Professor: BINGO!!! :-D

czBrat

June 8th, 2010
11:05 am

what I laughed at was him saying he had a 52″ tv and she was impressed please tell me, WHO is impressed by a dang tv? smdh

There wouldn’t be any “faults” you have that wouldn’t be overlooked, work on, struggle to overcome, because you’d be well worth the effort; therefore, you would not “hide” from him. He would work tirelessly to fulfill your needs and fulfill his promises to you. He would be the masculine fit to your feminine being, he wouldn’t give a second thought about sacrificing himself to save you. There wouldn’t be ANY games, no disappearing acts, no lies, half truths, or deceptions, No cheating, and would never ever break your heart because he understands you, he understands that if he hurts you, he’s hurting himself.
wow Melo! you so perfectly summed up what i see in my s/o and what he sees in me. this is the most ‘work’ i’ve ever had to do in a relationship, because it’s the best relationship i’ve ever had. and i’m HAPPY!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:09 am

~Confidence is Sexy~ ;) ~Awareness is key~

It's me....lurker

June 8th, 2010
11:09 am

OMGosh, at the Strawberry letter. Thirsty and desperate caused her to overlook at the obvious signs. NEVER sidestep or ignore intuition. All the answers you ever need lies in that gut feeling you get. You just have to pull the covers back and look.

Run4Life

June 8th, 2010
11:10 am

Do I sound bitter? I need to put that in check. I thought I was only describing my strong, independing nature.

Definitely not bitter about the divorce. That was my decision, not his. I have met a lot of guys that absolutely adore who I am. You know the successful, almost nerdy types. Just don’t necessarily get excited about those guys. I wish I could. I am still holding out hope that some day one of the ‘nerdy’ guys will sweep me off my fit. B/c after all, what is the alternative…a bad boy that moves in with you and you still owe him $900. LOL

czBrat

June 8th, 2010
11:11 am

oops … that post goes to Mike P.. great post! thought you know i luv u too Melo :)

i am a strong and independent woman, by necessity not by choice. my man does not want me to be weak (for him or for anyone). he just wants me to know that he is stronger and always happy to carry me whenever, wherever, however and for as long as i need him.

It's me....lurker

June 8th, 2010
11:11 am

Thirsty and desperate caused her to overlook at the obvious signs.

Okay that was typed wrong but given the fact that I’m still getting over a 3 day lingering migraine, I can’t see clearly

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:11 am

smdh @ that letter! geesh I won’t complain! lol

Melo

June 8th, 2010
11:11 am

What should this stupid 45-year-old do to get rid of this 46-year-old man?

Aaaaaagh……

she figures out that shes is stupid,finally at 45 years old????

why move in with a man after 3 months and even be4 u are married??

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:11 am

I remember in my mid 20’s I was dating a guy from Memphis. He “seemed” to be kindred spirits in that when he moved back to Memphis for family reasons, I was crushed. I missed this man so much that after a few months of helping his family he was ready to come back to Atlanta. I’ve always lived on my own since leaving Mama’s house, so I agreed he could move in with me. I truly thought I loved and missed this man. I soon realized 2 weeks after him living with me, that I didn’t miss “him” at all, I missed his sexual prowess. Everything was going downhill, and I had to quickly get him out. It wasn’t easy to do, but the police did help me out. Never, ever made that mistake again. Some lessons you need only one lesson plan to master!

Run4Life

June 8th, 2010
11:11 am

Corrections:

independent not independing

feet not fit

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:13 am

three dag on moths wow…..I can’t imagine that……..

SoulGloSLim

June 8th, 2010
11:17 am

“he totally believes a happy woman is the key to a peaceful home’

Ared – worth repeating

Mrs. Aufton Neida Hugg

June 8th, 2010
11:17 am

Caring. That’s the most attractive quality.

Caring for someone covers a lot and it makes you try to do the right thing.

Run4Life

June 8th, 2010
11:18 am

BTW, thanks PrincessNik

Melo

June 8th, 2010
11:19 am

It wasn’t easy to do, but the police did help me out I missed his sexual prowess

u made me holla with laughter! :lol:

I am finding that, that issue u addressed is very common and prevalent among u american black females.

My brother has not lived in his own home since he divorced. Plenty females to house him as long as his azz is putting it down,gravitating between Canada and USA.

Shame on u succkers!! :lol:

AmazonRed™ - We're coming for Beantown. Go Lakers!

June 8th, 2010
11:20 am

What should this stupid 45-year-old do to get rid of this 46-year-old man?

These chicks…. :roll:

Take the “L” buy him some replacement furniture and rent the Uhall…dummy.

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:20 am

three dag on moths wow…..I can’t imagine that

^ me either ESPECIALLY with kids in the picture! Hayo 2 da naw

AmazonRed™ - We're coming for Beantown. Go Lakers!

June 8th, 2010
11:21 am

My brother has not lived in his own home since he divorced. Plenty females to house him as long as his azz is putting it down,gravitating between Canada and USA.

Wow.

And :? to these dumb chicks indeed. Just irratating!

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:23 am

Ok, Melo, you certainly chopped up that sentence.

Hey Melo, no shame in my game. I was young and dumb thinking I knew what I was doing/feeling. However, I was smart enough to know what I did wrong within a few weeks and not remain in a life of misery and discomfort.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:24 am

PK the kids is very important but even if the kids weren’t in the picture why in the hezzy are we moving in together to share individual goals pretenting to be one in three months…….living together…….chile please……what is the major rush to live under one roof…..not throwing stones just trying to understand the time factor and truly knowing a person and being safe with a stable decision…

czBrat

June 8th, 2010
11:25 am

Hola Profesora! great list, and i’m LMAO @ 9 :lol:

ok Leggs, i’m :shock: at your post because i can’t picture YOU in that position. but i can certainly picture you getting him gone with the quickness … cops and all!

AmazonRed™ - We're coming for Beantown. Go Lakers!

June 8th, 2010
11:25 am

what is the major rush to live under one roof…..

Lady J – Nephew Tommy asked the same question and Steve answered with “desperation!”

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:30 am

@czB ~ I was taken aback at my decision too at that time. Yep, my stupidity, and I had to rectify it as quickly as I made it happen. That one sneaky, whispered call to the cops made all the difference.

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:31 am

That one sneaky, whispered call to the cops made all the difference.

:shock:

Miss Moni

June 8th, 2010
11:31 am

This Strawberry Letter is RIDICULOUS!!! It just goes to show that being of a certain AGE does NOT automatically mean that a person has WISDOM.

@ Melo: CONGRATS on your PROMOTION!

@ ARed: There is MORE to this letter that she’s NOT telling. Like WHY she’s making EXCUSES for NOT putting him out. SMH!!!

BTW, where is DREAMZ???

kimmie

June 8th, 2010
11:32 am

Melo – Remember that guy I posted about last week that cried so much when I broke it off with him that it scared me? Let’s just say he had me swinging from the chandeliers!

But my fear took over any “desire” I may have had for keeping him around. Like Leggs, sometimes other things can get in the way, but once you see CLEARLY, it shouldn’t take over good judgement!

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:34 am

why in the hezzy are we moving in together to share individual goals pretenting to be one in three months…….living together…….chile please

@ Lady J

you would be surprised, its more frequent than you’d think

It's me....lurker

June 8th, 2010
11:35 am

My brother has not lived in his own home since he divorced. Plenty females to house him as long as his azz is putting it down,gravitating between Canada and USA

Ummm, I believe you too

It's me....lurker

June 8th, 2010
11:35 am

you would be surprised, its more frequent than you’d think

yep, every day all day.

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:36 am

:lol: @PrincessNik ~ hey, you gotta do what you gotta do w/the quickness!

And, there are many levels of desperation, moving someone in is one form. Bet a lot have shown it in other ways. What have been some of your areas of desperation, even though you didn’t see it as such when you were doing it (like anyone will be honest enough to answer)?

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-Princess Cut & Radiant;Never have to front....

June 8th, 2010
11:37 am

I am not justifying my living together before marriage with my ex husband but I swear it taught me a whole lot and order of importance is key……..I have no reason in this world to live with a man before I am married again..no desire in this world…….I don’t even entertain it……this one dude is transiting to ATL and he threw the idea out just to see if I would bite…..an old college friend….i quickly ended that convo……hell to do no! we don’t need one roof dating not in my world…..too much baggage…..buying stuff, creating bills, accountability, when it is time to say I do you still have that junk on the other side and I am only speaking from my world…..it didn’t work andI don’t have to try it again…….

kimmie

June 8th, 2010
11:38 am

you would be surprised, its more frequent than you’d think

Absolutely – I have a friend that used to do that mess all the time. She would meet a dude and before you know it, the dude was moving in. And she has a daughter. Luckily, she cut that mess out. But not after dealing with and exposing her daughter to some major drama!

Luvbug

June 8th, 2010
11:40 am

Every single guy I’ve ever seriously dated has had an easy spirit…always calm…low key. They’ve all been creative too. I guess that’s my type.

What I consciously favor? Honest and responsible.

PrincessNik...I'm every woman, its all in me

June 8th, 2010
11:42 am

Leggs i feel ya!

What have been some of your areas of desperation, even though you didn’t see it as such when you were doing it (like anyone will be honest enough to answer)?

For me it was holding on to a broken relationship just for the comfort of it.

Leggs

June 8th, 2010
11:43 am

@LadyJ ~ I’m with you.