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The danger of dating on the rebound

When you are fresh off of a break up, it seems that you suddenly meet a boatload of people that you feel drawn to.  It’s probably the void your ex left that is pushing you to fill it with the first hottie that gets your attention.  It’s hard to see this when you are going through it though.  This is just one of the risks involved in dating on the rebound.

When you meet someone new, we always say not to mention or bring up the ex, especially on a first date.  The problem is that if the ex isn’t completely out of their system…or the picture, you don’t know if they are truly ready to starting something meaningful with you.

If you have just ended a relationship, do you tell the new person in your life how recent the break up was?  Does it matter if the last relationship only ended days or weeks ago?

Have you ever been the rebound guy/girl for someone and it worked out great?

439 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
12:57 pm

Random off-topic relationship questions:

1. How much must you really like a person to take em to the airport at 6 am?

2. An old flame comes to town for a visit. They are still interested, you aren’t. But they need a place to stay and you have room. But you also are seeing someone. Do you allow the old flame to stay?

Luvbug

June 7th, 2010
12:58 pm

Purple – Don’t know if you’re still here, but I’ve been waiting to hear more details on what happened with Gary and his wife. The little pieces of info I’ve caught lead me to believe that you may be right.

She may have tossed Little Bitty and left him there to die. I hope not, but my eyebrow is raised.

i'm swiss

June 7th, 2010
1:02 pm

“i’m swiss ~ the guy was probably shy and nervous sitting next to a cute girl.”

Leggs — That could be, too. Note everybody has the stones of your boy, swiss… ;-) :lol:

i'm swiss

June 7th, 2010
1:02 pm

Ooops… “Not” not “Note”

Professor

June 7th, 2010
1:02 pm

@ARed

1. How much must you really like a person to take em to the airport at 6 am?

I like’em enough to give them the number to the car service. A black shiny towns car will pick them right up.

2An old flame comes to town for a visit. They are still interested, you aren’t. But they need a place to stay and you have room. But you also are seeing someone. Do you allow the old flame to stay?

Old flame, you cool and all, but here is the number to some hotels.

Trevor0529 - The doctoral journey starts today

June 7th, 2010
1:04 pm

How much must you really like a person to take em to the airport at 6 am?

A whole damn lot to take them to the airport before the sun rises.

An old flame comes to town for a visit. They are still interested, you aren’t. But they need a place to stay and you have room. But you also are seeing someone. Do you allow the old flame to stay?

In a one word answer. HELLNAW!! Charge em to the game.
:)

Professor

June 7th, 2010
1:04 pm

@Luvbug…I am headed out, but I want to know more about Gary’s death as well. She was on GMA this morning, but I missed it. Also they were on a TV show once talking about how bad their marriage was.

Luvbug

June 7th, 2010
1:04 pm

An old flame comes to town for a visit. They are still interested, you aren’t. But they need a place to stay and you have room. But you also are seeing someone. Do you allow the old flame to stay?

No…unless you don’t care much for the person you are actually dating.

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:07 pm

@ARed ~ #1 = A LOT!

#2 – HELL NO.

Kym-Can you say triple double? I think you can..

June 7th, 2010
1:07 pm

@Amazon and Professor..This is truly a parental sacrifice..free tickets last year was on thing but paying..money..new subject quick..I am starting to feel woozy.

Kym-Can you say triple double? I think you can..

June 7th, 2010
1:08 pm

@Ared..that early it has to be love.. old flame..if I am seeing someone then dude needs to check into the Courtyard by Marriott.

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:10 pm

I am liking these answers…

Except for Professors answer to question #1! :lol:

SlimCutty

June 7th, 2010
1:11 pm

ARed – I’m curious, what is his purpose for coming into town if 1) He doesn’t have anyone to take them to the airport and 2) doesn’t have anywhere to stay?

Sounds a bit crazy. If it’s business, shouldn’t they provide hotel arrangements….and if you aren’t feeling them, i’d say Hell to da naw like everyone else.

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:12 pm

Think about it, ARed. To get someone to the airport way before the sunrises is “creme of the crop” treatment. Not any average joe blow gets that treatment.

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:13 pm

Slim – Question 1 and question 2 are not related.

But the old flame is coming into town for some big party weekend.

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:14 pm

Perhaps the old flame can pass out where he has his last drink. I’m just saying….

Luvbug

June 7th, 2010
1:15 pm

Professor – I caught a slice of it on the Joy Behar Show. From what I could gather, the wife claims he fell (in the kitchen?? down the stair?? somewhere…I’m not sure) and burst his head. She calls the cops while he is still conscious but does not follow the advise of the operate to help alleviate the pressure in the area that he is injured because she claims she goes epileptic (or gets nauseated) at the site of blood. She pulls the plug on him only two days after he is hospitalized…without consulting his family.

And like you mentioned, they’ve been on TV (Divorce Court) complaining about their marriage.

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:15 pm

Perhaps the old flame can pass out where he has his last drink. I’m just saying….

That happened last year. :lol:

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

June 7th, 2010
1:16 pm

Kym I am with you honey! lol

Professor I told yall that person was dealing with other issues and snapped my mind is clear I will know when to leave without accident i think….lol

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

June 7th, 2010
1:17 pm

Luvbug I started reading Joy’s book!!!! it is really good! She is very cool!

Melo

June 7th, 2010
1:19 pm

To get someone to the airport way before the sunrises is “creme of the crop” treatment

@Leggs!!

thank u very much for keeping the other half of my brain.

If the treatment last nite was off da meter…why not??. :lol:

Any other dude??…unless u, the girl got plans for dude.

Ex flame lodging for the weekend in ur room??

I dont see Ared doing that,unless u deliberately playing head games with current..!

I dont care how civil u are with ex…he needs to mind his own bizz,away from ex as well coz if it were me,im territorial,that wld cause a dismissal…. foul on the play,if ex came too close.

SlimCutty

June 7th, 2010
1:19 pm

Well I picked my flame up from the airport last week on my birthday at 9 something in the morning…what does that mean? :lol:

Ared – and if buddy can come into town to Party, which is a want, not a need…aka privilage then he should have his own overnight plans as opposed to relying on old flames…

Poppa Grande

June 7th, 2010
1:21 pm

Professor

I put it to you this way….I need serious counseling to detach the association of the stuff in those buckets from KFC. So, I don’t go to KFC. As a matter of fact, I am eating Bojangles as I speak and watching Rockdoc of NWA on VH1. So, it isn’t about the chicken but, it is about the buckets.

I go the the movies roughly every week. So, there has been no problem there.

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:23 pm

@LuvBug/Professor ~ first, she’s on GMA in a wheelchair and at one point the crew thought she might have a seizure. Anyway, she does say she asked him to fix her something to eat when she heard a loud smack. She said she ran downstairs to find him in a pool of blood and then called 911. Something about her is a suspect as that wheelchair. I’m sorry, I don’t know what this shyster’s medical problems are. Oops, there I go again, I’m sorry for calling the media whore a shyster. Dagnabit, I did it again. The ex-wife of Mr. Gary Coleman has been traumatized. Whew, got my senses back!!!

@ARed ~ that is too funny!

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:24 pm

@LuvBug/Professor ~ first, she’s on GMA in a wheelchair and at one point the crew thought she might have a seizure. Anyway, she does say she asked him to fix her something to eat when she heard a loud smack. She said she ran downstairs to find him in a pool of blood and then called 911. Something about her is as suspect as that wheelchair. I’m sorry, I don’t know what this shyster’s medical problems are. Oops, there I go again, I’m sorry for calling the media starved queen a shyster. Dagnabit, I did it again. The ex-wife of Mr. Gary Coleman has been traumatized. Whew, got my senses back!!!

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:25 pm

I dont see Ared doing that,unless u deliberately playing head games with current..!

melo – I have a house with empty guest rooms so guests would go there. But I have had an instance when one refused to stay in a guest room.

But no, I wouldn’t allow it. I can’t say I didn’t consider it because he’s still a “friend.” But the rational side would win out! (besides, I wouldn’t want it done to me by someone I was seeing).

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:26 pm

@SlimCutty ~ he’s your “flame” while, in this case, it’s ARed’s EX-flame…big difference! :lol:

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:27 pm

and if buddy can come into town to Party, which is a want, not a need…aka privilage then he should have his own overnight plans as opposed to relying on old flames

Slim – You’re right. Initially it was just asking. But then it turned into, you can come get me, you can take off work, we can kick it…

Really dude? I’m not even the reason for your visit… :? :arrow:

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:28 pm

@SlimCutty ~ he’s your “flame” while, in this case, it’s ARed’s EX-flame…big difference

Leggs – Exactly. Besides, Slim…if you didn’t go get him…he couldn’t adore and shower you on your birthday. :lol:

Luvbug

June 7th, 2010
1:28 pm

Lady J – I’m not familiar with her book, but she’s smart and witty…although she does have moments when she goes too far. All in all, she’s cool.

Leggs – Hell she doing in a wheelchair?? Yeah, the more I hear the more suspect.

Melo

June 7th, 2010
1:29 pm

But I have had an instance when one refused to stay in a guest room.

@Ared and preferring to go sleep where??

Not with u??

the thang with exes is,if hes welcome in ur house..in my mind as ex..there is a slight window there :arrow: (Ared’s puddsy,still..right in this position here) :lol:

SlimCutty

June 7th, 2010
1:30 pm

Ared – He’s hoping you fall for the whole, ‘we can kick it when you take off work to come pick me up’ thing just to make it seem like you’re going to get something out of the deal. So that also means you’ll going to be taking him to said party since it’s apparent he isn’t renting a car to get from Point A (airport) to point B (your crib)

@Leggs – ‘he’s your “flame” while, in this case, it’s ARed’s EX-flame…big difference!’ I know, i was just being a BUGGER. lol

SlimCutty

June 7th, 2010
1:31 pm

‘if you didn’t go get him…he couldn’t adore and shower you on your birthday’

@Ared – Dayum, was I THAT obvious? :lol:

Luvbug

June 7th, 2010
1:31 pm

(besides, I wouldn’t want it done to me by someone I was seeing).

Ditto!! That definitely would hurt my feels.

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

June 7th, 2010
1:33 pm

When You Need a Lift: But Don’t Want to Eat Chocolate, Pay a Shrink, or Drink a Bottle of Gin (Hardcover) ~ Joy Behar (Author)

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:34 pm

melo – Yes, he declined the guest room and insisted on staying with me in my room. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time, so I allowed it. I hope he enjoyed the blue ball special that weekend. *kanyeshrug*

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:36 pm

@SlimCutty, too funny, but you got your flame put out! ARed is trying to make ex know that hotbed is being maintained by a different crew member!

Melo

June 7th, 2010
1:40 pm

I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time, so I allowed it

@Ared??

aaaagh…niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice! :lol:

SlimCutty

June 7th, 2010
1:41 pm

@Leggs, now that I think about it…i actually didn’t get my flame put out :-( :cry: But if she does decide to let him stay, she should have her current flame in the kitchen bucket nekked scrambling some eggs with a cigar in his mouth when Ared get’s back to the crib with ex-flame.

Melo

June 7th, 2010
1:41 pm

hey baskball folks..

whats a dble dble or tripple dble……??

Boston did good on those LA Slackers last nite!!

:lol:

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:42 pm

LOLOLOLOL, that would definitely do it, SlimCutty. No mix signals there unless dude is suffering with cataracts since he last saw her!

Luvbug

June 7th, 2010
1:44 pm

I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time, so I allowed it

@Ared??

aaaagh…niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

Melo – You would be the one to skip the blueball part of the statement. LOL

Trevor0529 - The doctoral journey starts today

June 7th, 2010
1:44 pm

But if she does decide to let him stay, she should have her current flame in the kitchen bucket nekked scrambling some eggs with a cigar in his mouth when Ared get’s back to the crib with ex-flame.

LOL@Slim, you know what kind of trouble you asking for with that scenario?
:roll: :lol:

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:45 pm

@Ared – Dayum, was I THAT obvious?

Girl, I was speaking on what my thought process would be too. :lol:

Melo

June 7th, 2010
1:46 pm

@Luvbug??

I skipped coz i assumed it was a nice experience even tho i was gon to ask what that means later??

go head and tell me Ared/Luvbug coz i surely didnt know altho i assumed mighty good thangs! :lol:

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:46 pm

ARed is trying to make ex know that hotbed is being maintained by a different crew member!

Yes, and when I told him he couldn’t stay…he didn’t respond. I haven’t heard from him since.

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:47 pm

But if she does decide to let him stay, she should have her current flame in the kitchen bucket nekked scrambling some eggs with a cigar in his mouth when Ared get’s back to the crib with ex-flame

*hollers* :lol: :lol: :lol;

AmazonRed™ - Stupid refs. Go Lakers!

June 7th, 2010
1:49 pm

go head and tell me Ared/Luvbug coz i surely didnt know altho i assumed mighty good thangs!

melo – It means he slept in my bed, but he didn’t get none all weekend.

But actually, after day two, I didn’t see him for the rest of his time in Atlanta. He found some other chick I guess to provide the lodging and nookie!

Luvbug

June 7th, 2010
1:49 pm

Melo – It’s the same as what happened to you after you watched your wife shower, jump in the bed with no bottoms on and fall to sleep without you capping off the night.

Leggs

June 7th, 2010
1:53 pm

ARed ~ you know men..he’s going through different scenarios in his mind on how hard he wants to “try” to knock your current out of the picture for the weekend! You know they all think they have “skills!”