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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Let’s Wait A While – Are You Worth The Wait?

I am excited about getting new voices on the Misadventures in Atlanta blog. Variety is the spice of life! I decided to recruit more people to be featured on our corner of AJC.COM so if you are interested in being part of the Sizzling Summer’s Love Squad blog panel let me know!

Today I asked KP from Chat Kafe (http://www.chatkafeonline.com, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com), a reader and occasional commenter on Misadventures in Atlanta blog to guest blog for me.  If you are not familiar with him, he is a relationship coach.  I know some of you are fans of his and others, not so much.  His perspective is refreshing to me.

Whatever you feel about him, I hope you will welcome him and be open to what he has to say.  We can always agree to disagree but it’s important to listen!

In 1986, Janet Jackson came out with a popular hit titled “Let’s Wait A While” that took the country by storm. The words of the hit song used to epitomize the approach that ‘quality’ women took when dealing with men in dating and relationships. Unfortunately, things have shifted from “Let’s Wait A While” to a “have-to-have it” mentality.

The modern day approach is pretty predictable and standard. Man meets woman. They exchange information. They go out. Man taps into the mind of the woman. Proper mind tapping results in an open heart and open body experience. It’s usually that easy. Tupac stated it best in his song “I Get Around” when he said, “I don’t want it if that’s easy!” This can be better translated as “I won’t want YOU if it’s that easy!”

Now there is nothing wrong with the above formula as long as it’s with the person you are destined to spend your life with. However, the above equation has gone from a Hollywood fairytale experience, to a merry-go-round experience with the flavor of the week. Would you share your retirement account with someone who isn’t vested? Well, why treat your personal treasure with someone who isn’t licensed? Hmmm…

Women: Have women taken on a more male-minded mentality when it comes to sex? Do women have a ‘probation’ period before they release themselves physically to someone they’re dating? Why NOT make men wait for the prize if you believe it’s worth it?

Men: Why don’t men take a “Let’s Wait A While” approach when dealing with women? Do men not respect women who make a commitment to saving their treasure for marriage?

390 comments Add your comment

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
2:52 pm

I agree wholeheartedly with you, KP.

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
2:54 pm

Ok, I’ll bite:

@I am ~ if you were igging him from jumpstreet, why you answer the phone? Did your pulse quicken when you saw his name. Seriously, why didn’t you ignore his call?

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
2:57 pm

Leggs, no my pulse did not quicken.

I just wanted to see what he wanted since he left Voicemail.

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
2:59 pm

he wanted stuff back, and I was like what stuff?
so he told me about 2 items that aren’t worth a dime.
I was irritated with him and to make a long story short, I basically said that when I’m free at such and stuff time to give you back your stuff and if you aren’t there at that time, I will assume you don’t want.
I told him that he is no longer a priority.

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
3:00 pm

going to a meeting…. be back…or maybe not…depends….

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
3:00 pm

It’s me…lurker, you know I was supposed to marry Prince…but then I grew up. LOL

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
3:02 pm

But, out of everything that has taken place, could he really have wanted anything important enough. See, now you’re rolling your eyes wishing you hadn’t answered. Oh well, it happens to the best of us. There will be small crevices, deep crevices, shallow crevices and dark crevices you must climb through before emerging on the other side of thru!

Melo

June 4th, 2010
3:03 pm

@I am ???

I will tell u this,after feeling how it felt so good last nite..i cant,wont and will never blame u for looking back on that good good……coz sometimes..oooghh,it hurts so bad.

When u were used to that good, oily throbbing,rolling and turning and churning on ur inside,like a car drive shaft,hugging the very last stretched,pinkish red lining of ur nana…ooooooogh, the edge burns u like no other mfkkccer!.

If u fall,I am,i got ur back! :lol: :lol:

Kym-Singing and Swing and getting Merry like Christmas

June 4th, 2010
3:07 pm

Alright rain..I have things to do this evening..

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
3:07 pm

And bet he didn’t even care about those 2 items, just wanted to see if his big black toe is still keeping the door ajar…

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:10 pm

Raqi, you didn’t throw your panties on the stage did you?

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:12 pm

I was so virginal (is that a word)..LOL I wouldn’t listen to him back then. Too much for my then virgin ears…LOL I was scurred.

Melo

June 4th, 2010
3:12 pm

Oh well, it happens to the best of us

@Leggs??

I know uall front too but we can pretty much tell when we have done some good coochie and mental damage!

:lol: :lol:

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:13 pm

Well I Am, if you get some this weekend, get it good. May as make it worth your hump/romp. Don’t come on here Monday having fresh withdrawals…K? All in love

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:14 pm

I know uall front too but we can pretty much tell when we have done some good coochie and mental damage!

Melo, you’re right

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:16 pm

I am is gonna get a whoooping, I am is gonna get a whooooping, I am is gonna get a whoooping. He’s gonna beat that cootie cat to death…watch. I’m just kidding ya’ll, bnr…before some says I’m being mean.

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
3:18 pm

It’s me…lurker, if I had gone any where near a Prince concert or anything my dad would have beat the brakes off of me. LOL

Professor

June 4th, 2010
3:19 pm

:shock: @ melo 3:03

@I am…damn girl

@Purple…do you know “Conditions of the Heart” Paisly Park CD.

Melo

June 4th, 2010
3:19 pm

It’s me….lurker ??

i think she needs to get it this time and see if she wants to be on that dizzle or what…..coz if she dont quench that lingering angst,she gon end up under a completely wrong person,making it a worse,if not horrible mistake.

Better the devil u know and like…………………

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
3:20 pm

@Melo ~ back atcha…we too can tell when you’re feigning for us and we have your nose wide open you can’t see straight. All you can do is smell the nu nu and continue walking dizzily trying to get back to that snatch you so love…

Professor

June 4th, 2010
3:21 pm

@ It’s me now that 3:16 got me LMAO I was not ready for that one. :grin:

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
3:22 pm

Although I don’t advocate getting under someone to get over someone, Melo, your 3:19 made sense.

Kym-Singing and Swing and getting Merry like Christmas

June 4th, 2010
3:26 pm

I am serious rain..I have window film to put up..and all kinds of stuff to do.. I don’t have time for rain..

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:26 pm

Raqi…I think probably all the dads on the block would have taken switches to their girls for listening to prince..LOL

Melo, again I agree.

Melo

June 4th, 2010
3:27 pm

@Melo ~ back atcha

@Leggs??

I am whatever is simply verbalizing what uall go thru everyday,silently ofcourse!

Ofcourse if she takes it,the guy is gon assume wrong and put himself on a pedestal..if she dont take it, she gets extra dry………

I say vote that she gets it In,then steps away, :arrow: leaving the guy pining for repeats that may never come…….

Now..thats a WIN WIN……..

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:28 pm

Professor – Just the way she’s acting it took me back some years…LOL

Melo

June 4th, 2010
3:32 pm

Melo, your 3:19 made sense

@Leggs??

thats the power of my Debauchery persuasion! :lol:

Im sure now u believe me when i say that ive put a lot of women under my amnesia spell,breaking their 5 months no SEX rules….

‘ I DONT NORMALLY DO THIS” :lol:

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
3:32 pm

@Melo ~ no one goes through that mess everyday!!

Professor

June 4th, 2010
3:33 pm

Now that was some funny ish I was not expecting it. Lurker, that was funny

@Melo do you think he will give her some or just tease her a little and keep it moving. As a woman when I have a man like that I wouldn’t give him any I would just make him pant like a dog. Think about it the relationship is over why should I let you taste the honey pot

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
3:37 pm

Melo, some of you assessment is on point but really, we don’t go throught that everyday. Heck no. You move through a phase when first parting ways with a SO but after that you K I M. You deal with it and move on. I’ll even venture to say you might want to revert back to what you commonly know but once you’ve moved on you stay in that frame of mind and hold to it.

Professor

June 4th, 2010
3:43 pm

For me the first week or two is the hardest. Once I start hanging with my friends doing somethings I fall into a pattern. Not to mention I feel stronger each day. Now I’ve never been married and do not have children so maybe if you experience that it may take longer.

Melo

June 4th, 2010
3:44 pm

As a woman when I have a man like that I wouldn’t give him any I would just make him pant like a dog.

@Proff??

it depends on why they broke up.

If the assumption is that he is reaching out to her but I am is also harboring feelings,they may have broken up over ish with no real sense but ego…which to me is mature to work it out..angst not withstanding.

However,if the break up was over real substantive stuff, yeah I am has a right to stand her ground,or get the cootie watered temporarily but be gangsta enough to close it the moment he wants more..unless the issues are resolved.

Now opening and stepping is a gangsta move that not many females, even on here MIA, can pull off coz if the man is good with the Anaconda,..daaamn ur mind will get messed up too..u know…

Thats a play not to be tried by amatuers.!!

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
3:47 pm

Melo: at your 3:36 something:

Is sex the only thing you ever think about?

Seriously, you annoy me

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
3:47 pm

yawn i didn’t mean to clos my eyes…..ok time to get ready…lol

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
3:48 pm

meant close geesh!

leggs!!!!!! lol

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
3:49 pm

It’s harder getting over relationships when a child is involved. Having that child around every day makes you remember that person. And then you have to see them when he/she comes to take the child for visits.

Out of sight, out of mind goes out the window when you share a child.

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
3:51 pm

Melo: I meant all of your posts from 3:00 up to now

It’s me lurker or whatever: no I don’t want him like that or in any fashion so wipe the drool from your mouth, no I will not be getting or giving any.

And to state a fact: I’m not interested in meeting anyone knew right now.
I just want to be left alone for a moment, I am seriously annoyed and I don’t want to be the angry black woman for someone else that may not deserve that type of treatment.

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
3:53 pm

Raqi, my ex did not father my son.

When I broke off things with my son’s father it was not hard at all.
The only thing that annoys me is when my son asks for his dad when I’m doing something he doesn’t like but from what I’ve heard, children still do that if the parent are married.
I am very very grateful that my son’s father is actively involved in our son’s life. Not too many single parents can say the same.

Luvbug

June 4th, 2010
3:54 pm

just wanted to see if his big black toe is still keeping the door ajar…

LOL

Melo

June 4th, 2010
3:55 pm

Is sex the only thing you ever think about?

@I am..i wld say 65% of my brain has that,…u about right!

and I agree with u 100%,its annoying to hear of sexx when u aint getting any! :lol:

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
3:56 pm

@I am ~ have to give you props for recognizing.

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
3:56 pm

dude isn’t trying to keep door ajar.
He’s moving out of state in a few months. He would be stupid to try.
It ain’t gonna happen.

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
3:57 pm

Melo, it’s only annoying when it comes from you.
If I want some now, I could go get it.
Not a problem, but that’s not what I’m looking for.

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
3:59 pm

hey are we still on for tonight and where do I find this place?
Carlito …er Purple rain, are you rolling?

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
4:01 pm

yes I Am chk ur email the place is Cafe Xirca and you have my # honey :)

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
4:01 pm

CAFE CIRCA!!!!

I swear!

Trevor0529

June 4th, 2010
4:01 pm

I am,

here is the website for Cafe Circa.

http://www.cafecircaatl.com/

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
4:01 pm

so you coming???

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
4:02 pm

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
4:03 pm

tomorrow I AM Stone Mountain Park bring your son its kids friendly Leggs, Professor,and CzBrat will be there and my clan lol the SOS Band too