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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Let’s Wait A While – Are You Worth The Wait?

I am excited about getting new voices on the Misadventures in Atlanta blog. Variety is the spice of life! I decided to recruit more people to be featured on our corner of AJC.COM so if you are interested in being part of the Sizzling Summer’s Love Squad blog panel let me know!

Today I asked KP from Chat Kafe (http://www.chatkafeonline.com, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com), a reader and occasional commenter on Misadventures in Atlanta blog to guest blog for me.  If you are not familiar with him, he is a relationship coach.  I know some of you are fans of his and others, not so much.  His perspective is refreshing to me.

Whatever you feel about him, I hope you will welcome him and be open to what he has to say.  We can always agree to disagree but it’s important to listen!

In 1986, Janet Jackson came out with a popular hit titled “Let’s Wait A While” that took the country by storm. The words of the hit song used to epitomize the approach that ‘quality’ women took when dealing with men in dating and relationships. Unfortunately, things have shifted from “Let’s Wait A While” to a “have-to-have it” mentality.

The modern day approach is pretty predictable and standard. Man meets woman. They exchange information. They go out. Man taps into the mind of the woman. Proper mind tapping results in an open heart and open body experience. It’s usually that easy. Tupac stated it best in his song “I Get Around” when he said, “I don’t want it if that’s easy!” This can be better translated as “I won’t want YOU if it’s that easy!”

Now there is nothing wrong with the above formula as long as it’s with the person you are destined to spend your life with. However, the above equation has gone from a Hollywood fairytale experience, to a merry-go-round experience with the flavor of the week. Would you share your retirement account with someone who isn’t vested? Well, why treat your personal treasure with someone who isn’t licensed? Hmmm…

Women: Have women taken on a more male-minded mentality when it comes to sex? Do women have a ‘probation’ period before they release themselves physically to someone they’re dating? Why NOT make men wait for the prize if you believe it’s worth it?

Men: Why don’t men take a “Let’s Wait A While” approach when dealing with women? Do men not respect women who make a commitment to saving their treasure for marriage?

390 comments Add your comment

Professor

June 4th, 2010
2:06 pm

…stepping in.

@Slim when you figure out how to fold those fitted sheets please help me with mine. As for my computer I don’t have anything on mine but I say burn it just in case :wink:

@Purple you song Darlin’ Nikki now we want to hear Little Red Corvette..

Hey Lady J!!!

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
2:07 pm

Hey Professor!!!!!

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:07 pm

Leggs, with those 5 things money is not an issue. IMO I just don’t worry about money(not the key to happiness lol), money is going to come. :)

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
2:09 pm

Kym and DigThat, that growing apart thing is something you have to stay mindful of. My friend that I just posted about in that last comment told me that she and her husband learned to make each other their priority. Some people say the kids should be the priority but like she said dealing with those damn kids will make you forget about your partner, his/her needs and your marriage. The kids are to be dealt with as needed but they are going to soon be out of the house. Make you partner your priority, the one you are going to be with until death do you part and you two deal with the kids together.

Kym-Singing and Swing and getting Merry like Christmas

June 4th, 2010
2:09 pm

@Purple Rain..here here..on that money thang..I am sooooooo getting sleepy.

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:10 pm

I guess I should have known

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
2:10 pm

@PRain ~ money definitely is not the key to happiness but definitely would replace it with #5 on your list.

Professor

June 4th, 2010
2:10 pm

I’ve had some couples that have been married 30 plus years tell me that marriage is boring and you get tired of it. I think some folks just get tired of jumping through hoops to make it work. Others have that staying power while some don’t.

I think if you have a partner that wants to make it work and you have the same mindset y’all are good.

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:10 pm

By the way you parked your car

Professor

June 4th, 2010
2:11 pm

sideways that it wouldn’t last…

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:11 pm

sideways, that it wouldn’t last

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:11 pm

See you are the kind of person

SlimPhatty

June 4th, 2010
2:12 pm

Professor – the best way to fold a fitted sheet is to ball it up and throw it in the back of the linen closet. LOL!

Professor

June 4th, 2010
2:12 pm

that believes in

Professor

June 4th, 2010
2:12 pm

@Slim that is what I do! :grin:

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:13 pm

making out once, Love them and leave them fast

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
2:14 pm

Kym, that’s why there are certain type of guys that I was never drawn to. I like men that are homebodies. Like to be home. I never wanted to be with soldier, an athlete, a policitian, a traveling “salesman”, or anyone like that. Spending all that time apart and not much time together will make you take on other interest outside of your mate.

That’s why it so important to be friends with your mate. I can see how easy one can feel being “stuck” in a marriage when the two are not friends and doing things together. While you don’t need to be joined at the hip you do need to be together.

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
2:14 pm

lol @ the sheets! lol

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:14 pm

I guess I must be dumb,
because you had a pocket full of horses
Trojans and some of them used.

Professor

June 4th, 2010
2:18 pm

Sing it Purple… :grin:

Professor

June 4th, 2010
2:18 pm

Enter your comments here

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:19 pm

I need to teach you ladies how to fold fitted sheets. LOL

Luvbug

June 4th, 2010
2:19 pm

I think if you have a partner that wants to make it work and you have the same mindset y’all are good.

Agree!!

SlimPhatty

June 4th, 2010
2:20 pm

Blog Monster ate my post

PRain – I was saying how it seems you mess with a lot of wh0res. First it was Nikki getting her rub on in a hotel lobby, which I find it strange no one else seemed to notice or cared. THEN you meet this Corvette chick driving around with used rubbers in her pocket…Her name didn’t happen to be Monica was it? LOL

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
2:21 pm

shhhhh purple rain! lmao!

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
2:21 pm

SLIM LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kym-Singing and Swing and getting Merry like Christmas

June 4th, 2010
2:24 pm

LMAO@ Slim…

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:24 pm

SlimOne, such is Purple Life.

“All of my Purple life…………….”

I’m on a horse.

Leggs

June 4th, 2010
2:26 pm

LOL, it would take a SlimPhatty to notice that!

Kym-Singing and Swing and getting Merry like Christmas

June 4th, 2010
2:26 pm

@Raqi I like a man who is a mixture of both..I like going out to festivals and museums and plays..but I have my home-bound moments too.

SexyCool13

June 4th, 2010
2:27 pm

For Real – that 123p – chuuuuuuch!

Melo

June 4th, 2010
2:29 pm

The only reason you grow apart is you want to. You stop wanting to be with that person.

and that is a perfectly legitimate reason as well to leave ur current..u have groen apart.

Couples relate to the current social, poltical and environmental demands demands differently.. and if she/he aint stepping with u to the tunes of the new millenium,guess what….another heiiffer woman may taker her place.

Some people say the kids should be the priority……..dealing with those damn kids will make you forget about your partner,

The funny and irony part of it is this,when a man steps and the kids are still young,the women will say,”he was so selfish,never taking the kids into consideration” but here u are,relegating my desire to the kids.

Men cannot win!

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
2:31 pm

Kym, when I say homebodies or like being at home I don’t mean never wanting to go out and do things or travel together. We have got to be doing something. LOL

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
2:32 pm

I gather we ain’t waiting no more since prince is in the house…we all now how sex crazed he was…well lyrically he was

Kym-Singing and Swing and getting Merry like Christmas

June 4th, 2010
2:32 pm

On another sad note..Elizabeth Edwards is not getting any better.. according to one news report she doesn’t want John to get the younger kids when she dies in fear he will raise them with the mistress. That right there was just straight foolishness!

NLT

June 4th, 2010
2:34 pm

Another great post KP!

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
2:34 pm

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
2:35 pm

:eyerolling:

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
2:37 pm

Kym, she is being selfish. I understand her hurt but he is their father. Her hurt and selfishness is going to hurt her kids. If and when they lose their mother why make them lose their father also.

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:37 pm

She wore a rasberry beret

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:37 pm

I Am, why are you pouting and rolling your eyes? lol

Raqi

June 4th, 2010
2:38 pm

It’s me…lurker, I read somewhere that Prince was a little freakazoid in his time. He is a little man but he did big things. LOL

Purple Rain

June 4th, 2010
2:39 pm

Kym, I am sleepy as well.

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
2:42 pm

me too…need a nap….lol won’t happen though…lol

KP (www.chatkafeonline.com)

June 4th, 2010
2:45 pm

@Leggs…in response to your question from earlier…

“Why is it some men see nothing wrong with calling a woman “attempting” to form a friendship? Do they really deem us that gullible?”

Because ’some’ men are into keeping backup plans. If you are open to allowing an involved man to keep you in the wing as a potential sidekick, then half of his work is done! His attention is obviously divided if he’s pursuing outside interests in the midst of a committed relationship.

And YES…there are BOTH men and women gullible and willing enough to stay within arms reach of temptation. He/she may be strong enough to maintain boundaries. However, why play with fire? I’m just saying!

It's me....lurker

June 4th, 2010
2:46 pm

Prince was a little freakazoid in his time. He is a little man but he did big things. LOL

I know right…I’ll be ya freakazoid c’mon and wind me up…that song popped in my head after reading your post

Kym-Singing and Swing and getting Merry like Christmas

June 4th, 2010
2:47 pm

@Raqi..I know she is hurt..they are divorcing after what like 30 plus years oldest daughter is almost 30..she wants her to raise the two youngest ones.

Lady J-J's parties ROCK-Be there or be square!

June 4th, 2010
2:47 pm

@KP (www.chatkafeonline.com) as always great blog entry today!!!! :)

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
2:51 pm

just mad at dude……he called…..

I am whatever you say I am

June 4th, 2010
2:52 pm

going back to iggin him…that works best.
This time not answering my phone.
I basically told him to kick rocks too.