Hello everyone! I hope you had a safe and happy Memorial Day!
If you’ve been reading Misadventures in Atlanta for a while, you may remember that I have an annual trip to Mexico this time of year. My mother and I participate in a home building/medical ministry mission with the group Constructores Para Cristo.
Since I’ve left the city, I asked some of my all-star buddies to assist me this week and guest blog. I hope you enjoy what they have to say and welcome them! I will be reading along with you guys and jumping in when I can!
Today, we have a wonderful writer buddy of mine who has guest blogged before. Fly Guy asks the question, can a man freely express heartbreak? Check out what he has to say:
In my dad’s world, and in the world of many like-minded men, expressions like hurt, pain and heartbreak aren’t welcomed. It’s as simple as that. To borrow a direct quote from my dad, “that’s stuff that girls go through.” That’s typical for him … he’s the prototypical man’s man. But is he right?
Does a man really have to deny himself the release of emotions that may show a softer side? As men, should we really be expected to live our lives emotionally dishonest as a means to protect the sanctity of our manhood?
I say no. If a man is hurt, then let him release it. If he’s disappointed, then he should be able to express it. And if he wants to cry and didn’t just lose his mother or a playoff basketball game, then the tears should flow. There is a catch though.
While I believe it’s perfectly healthy for a man to openly express what he’s feeling, there is a “statute of man limitations” that applies. Can you express yourself freely? Sure. But can you start whining and crying every time something doesn’t go your way? Absolutely not (hell, you don’t even want your woman to do that.)
So what can be done? Well, you can now be unafraid to look into the eyes of your woman and say, “you hurt me.” You can also know that it’s alright to admit that you miss her, and that you wish she was back in your life. Trust me, it’s ok. In the end, your manly persona will go unscathed, and she may even respect you more for your honesty.
At 57 years-old, it’s probably too late for my dad to change his perspective, and that’s ok. But for me, it’s something that I’m currently working to improve upon. If my struggles in any way resemble yours, you should also take up this cause and work to find a healthy balance between man and emotion.
Wow, Thanks Fly Guy for a provocative and thought-provoking post. I have nothing to add (shocking, I know). Your thoughts?