I remember when that blasted pickup artist book came out giving otherwise nice men some crazy tips on how to talk to women.  Part of the strategy was to insult her to get her attention. I’m sure this went over well with the ladies. I would really love to meet that Neil Strauss one day!

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a run in with a guy who was outright rude.  I sometimes get the sense that some men really don’t know how to talk to women.  They sometimes try too hard and turn people off.  Maybe the rude approach works for some women, though?

Guys do you think that you have skills when it comes to having a conversation? Is the “rude game” actually effective?

Ladies have you ever been out and approached by someone who started out flirting with you and ended up making rude comments?   From your experiences, do the men you meet in Atlanta have a good way of interacting with women?  Is their approach on point or leave something to be desired? How do you like to be …

Continue reading Rude boys: What did he just say? »

Has this ever happened to you? You are really drawn to a person.  You begin to date and the chemistry grows stronger and stronger.  Things between you two go to the next level and it becomes exclusive.  Then suddenly out of the blue, you don’t feel the same attraction anymore.  It’s gone. Dissipated. What happened!?

What do you think happens in a dating relationship when there is one person who loses their “love jones” for the other?  Is it because the mystery is gone and you know way too much about the person too soon?  Is it because you created some fantasy chemistry that doesn’t even exist in the real world?

To quote the infamous Fly Guy: “The moment she officially has you wrapped around her finger is the exact moment her attraction starts to fade”  Interesting theory.  I happen to disagree with this statement!  I thought the only time girls wrapped a man around her finger was when she was in diapers and the man was her Dad! Do grown women really aim to get a man wrapped …

Continue reading What happens when chemistry goes MIA? »

It’s great to be alive and well to see another birthday today! When I was younger I remember being in such a hurry to grow up and brag about my age. Now I pretty much dread it and try to avoid acknowledging how close to 40 I am getting *cough*.

I once wrote about what I would forewarn myself  about if I had a moment to speak with my “younger self”.  When thinking of everything I learned in my 20s about dating, sex, and relationships, what could I say? If you take all the pain and heartache away from our experiences, we probably would not be the same people.  What would you say to your younger self?

You know they say that we are the sum of all our experiences. I suppose that is true in many ways, but what lessons can we take from it all?

I have been writing here for 5 years and I have learned a great deal about love, relationships, and men from the dialogue we have here!  What have you learned?

Happy Monday & Happy Birthday to Moi!

Continue reading Dating: What have you learned »

My apologies for the late blog post! I hope you are as ready for the weekend as I am! Happy Friday!

I don’t know if I will ever understand men completely.  Dating can be like this crazy ongoing education of human behavior, and male behavior is my major (or minor?).    Since  I have mainly been dating younger men lately,  I am trying to meet and date men older than 40.  Call it my something new for summer.

I had a lively debate with my guy of interest the other day.  He is older than I am so we were sort of recounting our past relationships and experiences.  He made some comment about his last girlfriend and the reason they broke up.  It had something to do with a surprising revelation about her that he discovered after a year of dating her.  He wouldn’t tell me what it was specifically but he said that it was because of what she had done in the past.

Well that sort of made me pause a bit. I was wondering if he was that overly critical and judgmental type of guy.  You know the …

Continue reading Dating: Dealing with your past »

I have officially shaken my birthday blues off and I am actually looking forward to the big day next Monday. I plan to have a wonderful, fun-filled trip to Florida. I will relax and read, soak up some sun, and most of all flirt like a professional! I’m talking shameless, nothing to lose “boy macking” behavior.

Vacations have a way of loosening some of your inhibitions, don’t they? That is the great thing about taking vacations, you can forget all your worries and focus on having a good time.

Vacations are supposed to be fun but sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way. I can recall a few “when keeping it real goes wrong” trips. I made a wrong move (told an older woman I was alone) and ended up stuck with jerk (her son!) on a boat for the weekend. Or the time when I landed in the midst of a couple’s retreat as I was going solo. Fun times, oy.

What is the best vacation you ever had? Did you go alone or with friends? You guys may know that I am not a huge fan of …

Continue reading Top ten dating rules for vacations »

If you take notice of any given event where a lot of single people are, you will probably get the sense that we aren’t exactly looking for one another.  It’s that whole “too cool for school” attitude that makes single people appear aloof and uninterested.

I don’t know why we do it all the time but it’s hard to break the habit.  Even at single mixers when the goal is to um mix and mingle, many people don’t like to appear over eager or too desperate.

I get that, I really do. I just wonder if we are so busy trying to appear like we aren’t pressed or interested in anyone, how do we ever link up!?  When you spot that person with that certain Je ne sais quoi, what do you notice first?

I am particularly curious to find out what the gentleman notice first.  I notice broad shoulders followed by the guy’s face.  After that, I pretty much start to swoon when I observe the way he carries himself and speaks intelligently.

Do you think that the things we notice first determines if we will …

Continue reading On the dating scene: what do you notice first? »

On Friday, I flew to Washington, DC last week to attend a really unique conference called the Blogging While Brown conference. I did not know what to expect because I had never been to a blogging conference.  I knew it would be interesting when I received a cryptic email that some conference attendees would have a chance to speak to White House staff members at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building.  I pretty much became a basket case from that moment.

We had a chance to meet with Corey Ealons, Director of African American Media and Coordinator of Special Projects and  Jesse Lee, Online Programs Director.  They were both very kind and engaging and we had a great discussion about politics, education, technology, etc.

They talked about the need for people to become more involved in the political process and the national discussion using various forums and platforms online, especially through whitehouse.gov.  A lot of people don’t feel as if they have a voice or influence …

Continue reading Dating politics: Wise Diva goes to Washington »

It isn’t often that I complain about male attention because most of the time I enjoy it.  It’s a really rare moment of regretting men exist that, thankfully, I get over pretty quickly.  Last week, I had the misfortune of having a discussion with a man, who I’ll call Mike, because that’s the jerk’s name.

Mike is married.  Mike believes that as a married man he has the right to say any old random thing to single women.  He starts talking about the fact that I am still not married and marveling over how youthful I look because of this fact (or in spite of?).  He has gray hair that he blames on his wife and her boyfriend.

The conversation devolves when Mike offers to be my boyfriend, someone who I can talk to and be there for me.  He thinks that my life is “too free” and I need to settle down and have a man guide it.

This is the part where I would love to tell you that I punched Mike in the forehead. I did not do this. Remember, my dad raised a non-violent, classy woman (thanks a …

Continue reading Time to settle.. down »

Due to unforeseen and completely awesome circumstances (promise I will divulge on Monday!), I have to delay my coverage of the Jezebel Magazine’s most eligible single’s party.

I have had a wonderfully outrageous week of great things that kept me so busy I could barely keep up with basic hygiene, let alone proper blogging!

At any rate, it’s Friday and that means fun is on the way, right?  I’m headed to out of town this weekend.  To the same city where I met a certain someone when I returned from South Africa in 2007.

Since I sometimes live my life by committee (well, sort of) I asked the question: If you are in town for a weekend, should you look up your ex?

I got some hilarious responses, my favorite being from the oh so hot, ShutterAtlanta: “Sure, that’s why God invented ex-girlfriends”, too which I giggled in response and agreed.  So I made the call and it was as awkward as I thought it would be.  The way we left things was rather vague because we just fizzled out because of …

Continue reading Let sleeping exes lie? »

Sunday is Father’s Day! I have been playing Luther Vandross’ tear-jerking song, Dance with My Father all week.  It is one of my favorite “Hallmark” days because I am a self-proclaimed Daddy’s girl.  I was picking out cards this week and got all misty-eyed and emotional just reading the sappy words.  If that doesn’t make me a Daddy’s girl, I don’t know what does.

I love him not just because he has “kept me off the pole,” I love him because he is a cool dude. It seems that the older we get, the cooler he becomes.  Nothing fazes the man, I admire his pragmatic approach to life and love.  I really believe he is part of the reason why I am so resilient.  I still feel the dating disappointments when they happen but I bounce back.  I get up and dust my ego off and I keep it moving.  I do this without slashing tires or destroying property. Daddy raised a classy broad who likes her freedom.

I have always heard from men that being a Dad really changes their lives.  Their outlook on life …

Continue reading Dance with my Father »