I’m with stupid
I have a thing for smart guys. The smarter they are, the sexier they become. It just seems to make things a lot more interesting when you are engaging in an intelligent discussion that one or both of you are passionate about. I believe that intelligence alone can make a person increase their hotness exponentially.
I can remember a time when being a smart woman didn’t matter much to guys. The shallow years had their fun moments but they certainly didn’t have many deep intellectual moments. If a guy asks me what my interests are I tell them that I am a science geek with a Biotechnology masters degree. I embrace my geekdom! It seems that as I got older the men I met and dated got less shallow, and so did I.
How important do you think it is to be intellectually matched with someone? There is only so much stupidity one can endure before the person becomes un-hot and annoying. How long could you last dating someone just on looks?
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368 comments Add your comment
abc
May 27th, 2010
10:06 am
Extremely career-driven women aren’t intimidating to men. They’re just not that attractive. I’d imagine that an extremely career-driven man would be somewhat the same for the discerning woman: how much fun is life going to be with a person like that? A man doesn’t necessarily want an accomplished and bread-winning woman. That’s not what men want women for.
I’m a patient guy, but unintelligent women tax my patience. They tend to be difficult to get along with — I find the less intelligent, the more emotional and unreasonable.
Luvbug
May 27th, 2010
10:07 am
Why am I sooooooooo exhausted??
Dan - do better
May 27th, 2010
10:07 am
How many ways can we say:
Different people have different applications of intelligence?
The degrees and importance of the spectrum of intellect are not as relevant to dating, as we sometimes make it out to be. Is it nice to be able to have a conversation about issues that you feel are relevant? Yes.
But as Raqi pwned yesterday, being able to say nothing and enjoy one another matters more.
Melo
May 27th, 2010
10:08 am
Is it possible to ever find an intelligent woman that I am attracted to?
@Malik
NO..it is not..u are stuck with sister Sarah!
SexyCool13
May 27th, 2010
10:08 am
Malik – people like your girl tend to have lives that are dramatic, chaotic and unsettled.
I wish you all the best should you decide to sign up for that program for the long haul. You’ll need it.
Melo
May 27th, 2010
10:09 am
if you would learn how to read you would see that my earlier posts states
@I am…my post was not personal since u asked a general qstion….no wonder i asked first..why…
I am whatever you say I am (I'm off today Bitches!)
May 27th, 2010
10:09 am
Princess, going foward , I prefer to have a guy meet my son upfront.
I don’t want to get into a situation where after months of dating and we become serious and then he meets my son and realizes he doesn’t want to move forward.
If he meets my son upfront he knows what he is getting into.
Luvbug
May 27th, 2010
10:11 am
Princess, going foward , I prefer to have a guy meet my son upfront.
I am – I usually try not to intervene, but nooooooooooooooooooo!!
I am whatever you say I am (I'm off today Bitches!)
May 27th, 2010
10:11 am
random thought: why am I so horny?
Ugh!!!!
Finkin
May 27th, 2010
10:12 am
I can date someone for one year based soley on looks…
mytw♥cents
May 27th, 2010
10:13 am
That’s a better gauge of chemistry for me than societally accepted attractiveness… An intelligent man can usually find many ways to stimulate you, more than just visually. Important if u like the mind f***
Luvbug
May 27th, 2010
10:14 am
God bless!!
I am whatever you say I am (I'm off today Bitches!)
May 27th, 2010
10:14 am
Whatever luvbug
Luvbug
May 27th, 2010
10:15 am
God bless!!
Subrational
May 27th, 2010
10:15 am
Male history PhD student here. Smart, tall, handsome.
SexyCool13
May 27th, 2010
10:17 am
See, TwoPennies. I am giving you the side eye for taking me to *that* place this morning.
Now, I’m going to be sending TheDude *special* text messages all day.
(she sighs…)
Melo
May 27th, 2010
10:17 am
One of our american lady friends’ dad died and shes outa state for the funeral…
What wld be an appropriate american way to show sympathy for her?
Subrational
May 27th, 2010
10:19 am
We must defeat the idiocracy people!
Melo
May 27th, 2010
10:20 am
@Subrational
PhD student here. Smart, tall, handsome But with no Time for sex with his girlfriend coz of his busy schedule….
ENTER
Melo
Kym-only been up since ohhh 4:00am
May 27th, 2010
10:21 am
Okay I am trying not to crash..what did I miss?
Subrational
May 27th, 2010
10:22 am
@Melo
Why are you typing brother?!? No time like the present!
Dano
May 27th, 2010
10:25 am
It’s interesting – when I was younger, the ladies would cop the line ‘I want you as a friend’ since I wasn’t a 9 with a 6 (’great sense of humor’ – whatever). Now I’m running into all sorts of interested ladies since I have a good paying job and no debt – I guess the bulge in my pants they’re looking at nowadays is my wallet.
lovelyliz
May 27th, 2010
10:30 am
It’s not just how smart he is that interests me, but his level of intellectual curiosity that I find fascinating. Men who think they know everything are almost as much of a bore as the ones who don’t know much and don’t care to learn anything else.
Dan - do better
May 27th, 2010
10:32 am
@Dano
Why wouldn’t you attribute your newfound success to your age? Or experience? Or maybe to the fact that you’re meeting a different kind/class/mature woman now, than then?
To assume it’s your wallet (or intellect) that is attracting (or repelling) people, says more about you than them.
Reality
May 27th, 2010
10:33 am
Unfortunately, intelligence does not always lead to honesty, good morals, financial success, or a thoughtful caring mate.
Leggs
May 27th, 2010
10:35 am
Good morning everyone!
It would be sweet to have a man that is both street smart and book smart. I don’t need a rocket scientist, but I do need to be stimulated with mental warfare.
@I am ~ you are funny!
CoolShadow
May 27th, 2010
10:36 am
Are guys intimidated by a women that has more degrees than the guy and a lot of goals on her plate that she is actively trying to accomplish?
Some might be, but the men who are managing their own accomplishments are not. Some women in this position will use their accomplishments as a mechanism to emasculate or belittle men whom she may exceed in education and income level. But it’s also probably used as her rationalization when she can’t deal with her insecurities because he might have rejected her
.
Intelligence is an essential component for a meaningful relationship (for me). If I can’t conjure up any intellectual respect for a woman, then the relationship will not grow past friendship or fwb status. Dating attractive ditzy women is like chewing gum; at the first the taste is really good but after a while the flavor is lost and I end up spitting it out. Our assessments of an intelligent person is subjective, but to me it means the ability to conduct conversation across a spectrum of topics and have the ability to generate interesting questions regarding topics you’re not knowledgeable about.
lovelyliz
May 27th, 2010
10:38 am
I’ve known guys who like dating women who think and those who prefer those who don’t think at all. Whatever floats your boat.
But
The preponderance of men in my world seem to be the ones who go out with women who will never get an invite from MENSA. The ones with more looks than brains. And then when the “I’ve got a hot girlfriend” newness wears off, they moan about her stupidity only t trade her in on a model no better. Even when there are ladies out there who know a thing or two about a thing or two.
PrincessNik...exhausted and ready for the long wknd
May 27th, 2010
10:40 am
Princess, going foward , I prefer to have a guy meet my son upfront
@ I am, I have to disagree on this at least as far as a formal introduction.
CoolShadow
May 27th, 2010
10:43 am
Should have wrote,”Our assessments of an intelligent person are subjective”…
Dan - do better
May 27th, 2010
10:44 am
@CS
The grammar was fine
Leggs
May 27th, 2010
10:46 am
@Dan, it was fine, but incorrect.
kimmie
May 27th, 2010
10:47 am
Hey Gang!
Yall know I love smart men, I’ve said it 1000+ times before on here. No, it does not mean they will have everything else together, but I just can’t handle an airhead. I have more fun talking to children that are bright than a intelletualy-challenged adult.
Nerds are always hot to me!
As for the whole intimidation factor, go on somewhere with that. I’m not intimidated by a smart guy, I can hold my own. So he ought to be able to deal with me. I’m not the kind that has to throw it in your face all the time. That’s low-class. An empty wagon usually makes the most noise!
It's me....lurker
May 27th, 2010
10:52 am
I’m all for the intelligent man but a man with stuff oozing out, that ain’t even true smarts, to the point of becoming a tunneled pompous idiot frankly irks me. Good balance of book knowledge, common sense and street smarts makes for the intelligent man. The ballplayer is the prime example of the classic idiot. What’s sad is you don’t even possess true book intelligence….natural smarts. You b*&tched and moaned and pulled the race to get your position but you best believe they granted you that position but you better get to proving yourself. Now you round here tombout getting the Market Executives to come down on the “low ranked” employees cause they don’t possess what you define as “intelligence”….burns my butt. You’re so busy hob knobbing and what you call motivationally speaking that you can’t see that’s not on the agenda for getting revenue up in this mug. On client visits your black behind can’t form a good sentence without stumbling…what a freaking joke. You can’t even get the big boss man, the same market exec you snitching to, to take you serious enough to stay on a one hour conference call and it happens EVERY time, once the big boss man drops, there goes all the other execs that dialed in. When you wrap the call and ask for comments, we can’t hear nothing for all the crickets in the background. You come round here tryna “shake things up” but ain’t got intelligence to know some things ain’t NEVA changed…go ‘head, speak on my brother. What makes you an even bigger idiot is that your counterpart is making it happen. You round here wanting to kumbaya and and hob knob but this chick makes everybody jump. My CEO, your CEO clients CEOs. Not cause she’s a bully but cause she’s got a knack and possesses finesse. She’s got a budget for entertaining alone that some of us can take down our mortgage. Yet and still you can’t even get clients to take you serious enough to commit…freaking idiot. You round here emailing the 50 plus floors in the building of some award you’ve gotten but you ain’t pullin revenue….
Anotha Brotha
May 27th, 2010
10:52 am
Here’s my take on the whole “Are men intimidated by my success routine” and I’ll use last night as an example. I attended my first speed dating event and one of the 30-something ladies’ had on a business suit and clearly engaged her end of the conversation as if she were a hiring manager and I was interviewing for a position lol. “So what do you do for a profession”, hard eye contact etc etc. So obviously she believed she was in a position of authority- which is the downfall for many of the SexandTheCity types. It was not her attire or background but the arrogance and failure to realize that it is the MAN who decides whether to ask for number, call, etc. A woman has zero power unless a man gives her some ladies and you MUST acknowledge that. And I’m not saying anyone needs to kiss my Converses, but pretty much on a daily basis, women give me cause NOT to approach them and then you get to choose from the lesser guys who choose you.
It's me....lurker
May 27th, 2010
10:55 am
I don’t believe the hype one bit that men are intimidated by women. I think if that’s what you want to believe a man won’t try and convince a woman otherwise. I think he’ll oblige by letting her believe that all the way showing his back.
Kym-only been up since ohhh 4:00am
May 27th, 2010
10:59 am
Err lurker..did someone give you spoiled milk with your cheerios?
i'm swiss
May 27th, 2010
11:02 am
“Nerds are always hot to me!”
[Adjusting pocket protector & pushing taped, horn-rimmed glasses up on my nose while giving the Vulcan greeting gesture] Hey there, kimmie… How you doin’…?
In all seriousness, luckily for me, there are plenty of chicks who share your view on this. Every time Mrs. Swiss & I head out on the town, we get stares from all kinds of dudes looking at us & wondering, “Now how did he manage to get THAT???”
I owe it all to brains & manners. Well, that and the plus-sized Matterhorn helps, too…. 
gabrielle
May 27th, 2010
11:02 am
“It’s not just how smart he is that interests me, but his level of intellectual curiosity that I find fascinating. Men who think they know everything are almost as much of a bore as the ones who don’t know much and don’t care to learn anything else.”
@lovelyliz-Great distinction. I totally agree! Someone who is interested in learning is always growing in some way. Keeps conversations new and exciting, too, instead of talking about the same old same old day in and day out.
PrincessNik...exhausted and ready for the long wknd
May 27th, 2010
11:02 am
Lurker
is “the ballplayer” the same guy that was trying to get at you?
Melo
May 27th, 2010
11:05 am
It’s me….lurker??
email me right quick!
It's me....lurker
May 27th, 2010
11:06 am
Kym – Err lurker..did someone give you spoiled milk with your cheerios?
My bad, I know that wasn’t nice but he sooo gets on my nerves.
PrincessN- Yeah. We went at it almost 2 hours last week. He “CALLED” me in. It took all I had to contain myself. Why was he quoting scriptures and telling me I need to learn to submit. Ummm, I’m VERY good at submitting, just not to you.
Okay, Imma let this go this morning.
Luvbug
May 27th, 2010
11:09 am
Why was he quoting scriptures and telling me I need to learn to submit.
LOL
It's me....lurker
May 27th, 2010
11:15 am
Luvbug – You know, I got bamboozled. He initially started out asking my thoughts on the recent client visit we had. Me with my dumb self, just talking away. After about 45 minutes of grilling me on what I thought the conversation shifted and he started talking about feeling tension and what I need to do. I was like honey, bite me. I mean it didn’t say that but we went from there.
It's me....lurker
May 27th, 2010
11:15 am
Back to the blog topic…not tryna hijack
Leggs
May 27th, 2010
11:17 am
This topic is right on point. A co-worker just stopped at my desk asking how I’m doing. I knew she had a hard breakup about 2 years ago so I ask how’s she doing and if she’s now dating. She says she’s not. She says she seems to intimidate men. Yes, she’s highly intelligent and one step up from being a “plain jane.” (Clearly my observation). She’s highly salaried and lives alone in a very big house. She goes on to say there are too many dumb men out there and she’s leaning toward FWB. Don’t know how I did it, but I managed to keep my eyes from bucking! She’s frustrated with the dating scene and may just opt for a boy toy. I laughed and told her to go for it.
Sassy Me..Rude gal in a di place :-)
May 27th, 2010
11:17 am
Why was he quoting scriptures and telling me I need to learn to submit.
Sometimes some men slay me with that ish….they get all holy and selctively qoute scripture when it suits their purpose. If they want a woman to submit then according to the same word men should provide and protect and they don’t always do that…but they want you to bow down just cause…chile puhleaze.
I am whatever you say I am (I'm off today Bitches!)
May 27th, 2010
11:21 am
enjoying today…the little guy gets pictures taken at 4
I am whatever you say I am (I'm off today Bitches!)
May 27th, 2010
11:22 am
<——trying real hard not to sex text my ex.
kimmie
May 27th, 2010
11:23 am
lurker – I ain’t mad atcha! Dude need to go sit down somewhere & stop showboatin’!LOL!!
Leggs – Your coworker sounds sad. And no way could I live in a gigantic house alone. I’d have to move some trustworthy family or friends in or something. Even if I won the lottery, I don’t think I’d have a house much bigger than the little one I have now!