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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Put a (big?) ring on it

I’m not one of those women who dreamed about their wedding day since childhood.  I’m sure I pictured having a family at some point but weddings and engagements just didn’t seem on my radar.  I remember when one of my friends got engaged last year and she was sort of horrified at the way her then boyfriend proposed. She was even more disappointed in the size of the ring.  I found it odd because she didn’t seem the type to get hung up on this kind of thing.

How important is the ring and the proposal, though?  When you are watching the person you (hopefully!) love spill out their heart and risk the ultimate rejection, is their ring selection really an issue?    A lot of my male friends tell me that if their woman even uttered a complaint about their engagement ring, it’s going back to the store. Not sure if they have found themselves in this situation but if it happened, I think they mean it!

Ladies, would the size of an engagement ring make a difference when you know they can afford something bigger and more elaborate?

What is the protocol when the ring becomes an issue? Ignore it? Discuss it? How do you handle it?

490 comments Add your comment

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:24 am

yes sir dig that and thanks kym……….committment my butt DK over ten years buddy please…..lol

Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)

May 24th, 2010
11:25 am

ok yall heard eric snow and his wife is spitting

:shock: What is really happening?

czBrat

May 24th, 2010
11:26 am

lolololol EPO! A woman of course! now i’m crackin up!!

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:27 am

sassy after 12 years he FILED in the futon courts I will locate the article honey one sec….they were college sweethearts to so I am not the only one! LOL not making light of it either…..lol

I am whatever you say I am

May 24th, 2010
11:27 am

My ex took me ring shopping. His idea.
Prior to him, I knew nothing about diamondsr.
He schooled me.
The ring he chose was different from the ones he took me to look at.
I loved my ring but it was the right thing for me to give it back once the relationship crumbled.

Melo

May 24th, 2010
11:28 am

@@czBrat!!

that sister literally has balls beside her cootie….i wld handle her and put her to bed very nicely if it were me and she wldnt speak to me nor her sister for months..or they all go tgether since theyre family!

Raqi

May 24th, 2010
11:29 am

EastPoint, probably a set of women who ended up getting some rather uninspiring very cheap rings. See it works both ways. You guys can’t be just throwing something at the woman under the umbrella of “she should like because it’s what I gave her”. Put some thought into it and don’t be a cheap arse.

And I agree if I have to wear it I should at least like it. But that doesn’t mean it will be the most expensive rock in the store.

czBrat

May 24th, 2010
11:29 am

i usually don’t concern myself with celebrities’ personal lives, but i was sad to hear about that split. i was impressed that they’d been together before he went pro and had such strong faith in their household.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:29 am

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 24th, 2010
11:30 am

CZ – I would have cussed the clothes off that Chick.. First for coming to me like that.. Secondly cause she’s not the one Im marrying, nor does she have to have to wear it.. Then Thirdly it aint her business on how my Business is doing.. The nerve of that chick for real.. I mean who does she think she is to feel as if she needs to sit someone down and tell them what they should be doing.. That was wrong on so many levels..

czBrat

May 24th, 2010
11:33 am

THANK YOU! i thought it was just me. i’m crazy close to my fam but we do NOT put our two cents in each other’s personal relationships unless asked. and the whole issue of how she was so sure he could afford more was just tacky. i can’t believe he even dignified her with an explanation.

Grazer

May 24th, 2010
11:34 am

You all know the engagement ring tradition doesn’t exist anywhere else but here in the US…right?

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 24th, 2010
11:35 am

I pay attention to that kinda stuff though and when a Babe has everybody in our business or values what her committee tells her too much, then thats a red flag for me.. I like a free from the herd thinker..

Im feeling extra Saucy this morning.. Too much coffee.. That double pack they made this morning has me wired for sound.. I tell you what..

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:35 am

good post czBrat……

my ex was impressed with me moving to atlanta with him an dwe had NOTHING….but that is me I am not a materilitic chic at alll…..I know where I came from and will never forget it coming to a city a faking…..we slept on the floor til his mom but us furniture but we were saving up for our own and now looking back we should have declined it and brought our own and we would have worked for it….yep much was given to us…..after we married in 04 we got 20,000 not much money but to two young fools who wanted two diff things at the end we had NOTHING to show for it…I wanted a modest townhomw and he wanted to shop….I stepped back and helped him spend it bc I beeged him to call my uncle a former ML invenstor and he told me i can’t control him…..I truly was trying to do right but hey it was THEIR money NOT mine and he can happily have his mother without me! She had the nerve to go off on me and wouldn’t say ish to him talking bot what we did with the money!

i tell ya NO more mama’s boys! LOL

Lori

May 24th, 2010
11:38 am

Have any of you considered another stone besides diamonds for an engagement ring? Princess Diana, had a sapphire solitaire engagement ring.

Melo

May 24th, 2010
11:38 am

i can’t believe he even dignified her with an explanation.

@czbrat!

thats whtas up…

as for Eric snow, i fel bad for them and wonder what happened… i liked the cpple…

but a lot of these athletes “upgrade” on their high school sweeties ones they taste proff money and the heifers start flocking to them like bees to honey………

on a side note..Dwayne Wade shld have asked his ex to go under the knife a have a mouf job..that cld have helped! :lol: baby’s mouf and teeth are so……ughhhhh..my God!

:lol: :lol:

Raqi

May 24th, 2010
11:39 am

Quick question, I know ABC could probably answer this…

Does smoked salmon and Pinot Noir pair well together?

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:40 am

yes raqi and share! lol with a salmom creamse cheese spread! yummmy!

Dig That

May 24th, 2010
11:40 am

@Brat- You are not crazy at all. I know it was hard for you to snap on her about that craziness. I wonder if she is single?

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:42 am

You all know the engagement ring tradition doesn’t exist anywhere else but here in the US…right?

So? The US is where I happen to live. :lol:

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:42 am

Melo i truly prayed for Wade’s soon to be ex wife she has to come to grips with it is over! it is a process and I don’t even know what it feels like to be married to a famous person but I look @ the ones before her and some went gracefully and quiet

Kym-If you do 4 me..I will do 4 you.

May 24th, 2010
11:43 am

@Lori..if and when I get to the point of marriage..I want a ruby. Its my birthstone.

Dig That

May 24th, 2010
11:43 am

@Lori- It is very traditional for the diamond to represent marriage proposal and ceremony, however it used to be also very traditional for the bride to wear white to signify virginity walking down the isle and of course that’s out the window too.

SexyCool13

May 24th, 2010
11:45 am

Speaking of Basketball Wives, I actually used up brain cells and life to watch a few episodes of that show yesterday. And I actually feel really sorry for those chicks, in a way.

Dig That

May 24th, 2010
11:45 am

Melo- D.Wades’s old lady got some real issues. She ain’t going out quietly at all.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:47 am

dig that LMBAO!!!!!!

my next go round everybody can wear what the hell they want to including me! the things I fretted over!
Holler @ me now I know what I won’t give a damn about! LOL

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:47 am

Have any of you considered another stone besides diamonds for an engagement ring?

Lori, I hadn’t, until I saw this one….

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2583/3865559472_418a6c292b_m.jpg

I think it’s gorgeous. The stone is green amethyst and cost a total of $430.

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:49 am

One chick on Basketball Wives got an 11 carat ring when she got engaged. They broke up and now she wants at least 15. :?

But she will never date another ball player :lol:

Reality check, aisle 10

East Point's Own

May 24th, 2010
11:49 am

@Raqi I understand that, and of course I don’t mean a man should be able to give a woman any ole thing and she should love it. BUt I mean some of these women have the tone of “this is the ring I want and I am not getting married to you if you can’t get it for me” On another note I have also heard one or two women state that their ring much cost at least a certain price or they won’t marry the dude. I think any respectable guy (who is not Scrooge McDuck)will spend a decent amount of money on the ring with respect to his income level. I don’t know of any guys I came up with who make $50,000 a year or more but flaked out and got his woman a $299.99 engagement ring. That could be a problem, but on the other side of that same token if that’s how they roll and he knows she does not want a fancy ring that $299.99 ring could be perfect.

http://hispointofview.com

Melo

May 24th, 2010
11:51 am

She ain’t going out quietly at all.

@Dig?Lady J??

shes fighting for that money..its hard to see it go away.that must be very depressing for a high school woman with nothing else to show for herself other than the kids she birthed with him…..

I liked Wade when he was drafted back in the day..but hes making some mistakes too with his women choices…..

I sure hope hes just messing with that Gabriel heiffer and not serious.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:51 am

ARed LMBAO!!!!! these shows need to go! LOL a mess!!!!

luangtom

May 24th, 2010
11:52 am

I sit and laugh at the demands made concerning rings and other things when it comes to pleasing the woman in a relationship. My wife is from a foreign country. Others have asked her if it was true that I “bought” her from her parents. She looks at misinformed American women and laughs. She said, “The gifts that my future husband gave to my mother is payment for her bringing me to the point of being a woman eligible to be married. It is repayment for all that my parents did for me.” She then asks what, besides the bills for the wedding, does an American woman give her parents to repay them for their bringing them to the point of marriage in their lives. Few, if any, answer at all. She then asks, “Would you marry if the man did not give you a diamond?” Not one said that they would. Sad commentary on the high status women put on themselves and not their parents. We are both immigrants or from an immigrant family, so American customs and demands are a bit unnerving.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:53 am

she would get it quietly….trust me…..the others did! lol besides the housewife chic shree sharae however she spells it! lol

czBrat

May 24th, 2010
11:53 am

Dig, co-worker has been married to the same mane forever, just like her parents. i don’t know if that’s what makes her a bit possessive about her sister now getting married, but still. you just don’t talk to a man about not doing right by his woman unles it’s a pattern and a problem. they’re just getting started! my co-worker and her mother seem to rule the roost in their homes (based on what she’s told me), so i’m scared to think what the new guy is in for, especially if he didn’t nip it from jump.

Melo

May 24th, 2010
11:53 am

very traditional for the bride to wear white to signify virginity walking down

@Dig that?

isnt it tradition Now that non- virgins (u know urelves) :lol: and divorce\es wear off white instead?? signifying non purity??

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:55 am

Melo I NEVER dig Wade….way back then either….just something about him…….lol

when you shut your trap you can demand silently and successfully from an experience demander! LOL!

JtJ

May 24th, 2010
11:55 am

Morning All,

I think a guy should at least know what a woman likes before he buys an engagement ring. I am not that picky, but I knew I wanted something nice. In random trip to the mall, I would take JT to stores to show him what I like. I would also show him the flyers from Kay Jewelers to give him ideas of what I liked and did not like. Tell him what you like in random conversations and show him a picture if possible. I think it’s ridiculous to expect a HUGE rock especially if you know what he earns and can afford. We knew we would be purchasing a new home and selling his old home, so we knew what we were working with.

I have a nice 1 carat that I saw in and showed to him months before he proposed. He went back and got the ring and kept it hidden at work for about 4 months. My ring cost about $1700, but I think he got it for 50% off on sale. We got our bands also and only paid about $600 for the 2 bands.

Leggs

May 24th, 2010
11:57 am

@ARed ~ I believe marriages like that can work.

@czB ~ your co-worker was completely wrong. Especially after her sister said she was happy. That was grounds for her to mind her own business. To pry your unappreciation of the size of your sister’s ring is ri.di.culous at best. Nice of him to answer her, but I would have just left her standing there in mid sentence!

kimmie

May 24th, 2010
11:58 am

Hey Blog Peeps!

It blows my mind when I hear about women complaining about an engagement ring. Even if my guy gave me something I didn’t like, I would just suck it up and wear it with pride. And these dudes still marry these women that complain! SMH!!!

People don’t have the right to judge other folks’ rings. So what if he’s balling and YOU think he should have gotten her something better? You don’t really know what their financial situation is or mainly – where they put their priorities! I know folks who are extremely wealthy and always have been that way, but wore simple gold bands. But they have REAL wealth and don’t feel the need to be pretentious.

I like quality, classy, simple jewelry. Something unique would be nice too. I don’t like gawdy. Small and high quality beats big and cheap any day of the week. I would expect someone that I’m about to make such a major commitment to to know this about me. So if thru the years we have dated I have constantly talked about how I hate yellow gold and then you turn around and get me a yellow gold ring – my feelings may be hurt more than anything because I feel you are more concerned with exerting control than getting me something you know I will like and symbolize your love for me.

If you are the super cheap type and I’m dating you to the point that we are getting engaged, well no use complaining – I should already know what I’m getting & getting in to!LOL!!

Leggs

May 24th, 2010
11:59 am

@ARed ~ I believe marriages like that can work.

@czB ~ your co-worker was completely wrong. Especially after her sister said she was happy. That was grounds for her to mind her own business. To state your unappreciation of the size of your sister’s ring is ludicrous. Nice of him to answer her, but I would have just left her standing there in mid sentence!

czBrat

May 24th, 2010
11:59 am

luangtom personally, i bring both my kids up to be good people because i want them to be good people. if they choose to share that gift with someone by taking a spouse, then God bless them both. my repayment is that they be happy, treated well, and respected. you can’t give me anything more meaningful than that!

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:59 am

she has even claimed he hit and abused her wade that is i was honey….but who knows

SlimOne...Single Sex in the City

May 24th, 2010
12:01 pm

Speaking of wedding traditions, has the idea that the chicks family pays for the wedding also gone out the window or has it moved towards the couple themselves?

Dig That

May 24th, 2010
12:03 pm

@Brat- He better nip that in the bud because they and wife to be will be the reason why dude has get the heck of there.

It's me....lurker

May 24th, 2010
12:03 pm

Wades’s old lady got some real issues. She ain’t going out quietly at all.

Rightfully so. She’s his wife. I wouldn’t quietly step aside either for some trick to hop in my place. She’s earned and got every right as the wife…please I wish I would take a back seat to some girfriend/trick when I’ve been washing your drawers, cleaning behind you, taking care of your kids…yada yada yada. Okay, well the maid’s been doing it but still. You wanna exchange for a better model. Go ‘head got no problem with that you just gonna pay me on the way out.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
12:03 pm

hmmmm the jim sullivan case is on 48 hours on WE!

kimmie

May 24th, 2010
12:05 pm

EPO – I agree with you assessment. I would just want someone to get me something within his means. I would feel uncomfortable accepting something I know he could not comfortably afford. That’s so ghetto to me! I want someone who is responsible with his finances. I’ve dated someone who was very irresponsible and it is SO not fun and not worth the stress. Showing off & “keeping up with the Joneses” is not the way I was brought up and so not important to me. That is a turn-off, a big one!

Dig That

May 24th, 2010
12:05 pm

@Melo- I have yet to see an off white wedding gown walking down the isle.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
12:06 pm

but lurker when it is over it is over…….I want to fight the person my ex emotionally attached himself too but it wasn’t her fault my/our marriage was ending we had BIGGER issues and we failed @ them so of course he founded an outlit……….when it is over you can’t make a man or woman stay….go out with dignity and have eveything in writing….lol

SexyCool13

May 24th, 2010
12:06 pm

kimmie – as usual – >>>here<<<