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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Put a (big?) ring on it

I’m not one of those women who dreamed about their wedding day since childhood.  I’m sure I pictured having a family at some point but weddings and engagements just didn’t seem on my radar.  I remember when one of my friends got engaged last year and she was sort of horrified at the way her then boyfriend proposed. She was even more disappointed in the size of the ring.  I found it odd because she didn’t seem the type to get hung up on this kind of thing.

How important is the ring and the proposal, though?  When you are watching the person you (hopefully!) love spill out their heart and risk the ultimate rejection, is their ring selection really an issue?    A lot of my male friends tell me that if their woman even uttered a complaint about their engagement ring, it’s going back to the store. Not sure if they have found themselves in this situation but if it happened, I think they mean it!

Ladies, would the size of an engagement ring make a difference when you know they can afford something bigger and more elaborate?

What is the protocol when the ring becomes an issue? Ignore it? Discuss it? How do you handle it?

490 comments Add your comment

I am whatever you say I am

May 24th, 2010
10:49 am

I like the yellow.
It’s my birthstone.
I would switch the sterling silver for white gold though.

Leggs

May 24th, 2010
10:50 am

@czB ~ I definitely can understand the jitters and disbelief. However, I sure hope that smile is shone on the outside very soon.

Raqi

May 24th, 2010
10:52 am

A guy probably shouldn’t be proposing to a woman that he does not know enough about to not know that she will throw a fit if she does not receive a certain kind of ring. These things just don’t happen. Who we are shows in our everyday lives if you look close enough.

If you want to be sure to get her the ring she likes the two of you should pick it out together. That could be one of the first steps of merging your lives and finances together. Agreeing to marry and then agreeing on what you will spend for the ring.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
10:52 am

slim my former bff helped out with picking it……she knew my stlye…….he wanted a woman’s POV…..they met several times at Whitehall @ Lenox I learned later…..

my propopals was one evening when he got off work and knocked on the door vs using his key…he had roses, a awesome CD of our fav jams that he made and the ring….he asked I said yes…..lol…..was suprised bc while we were talking about getting married i didn’t think it would occur before that winter was over…..lol

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
10:54 am

cool beans chica yellow is one of my fav coloros too it just threw me in the setting……it just 31 bucks buy it…lol….I am thinking about buying a CZ like one of my gf just for the hell of it and sport it on my left hand! LOL

I still have the band to my set but lost the diamond on purpose believe that…..lol

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
10:56 am

Ladies let’s be real, if you had a gargutuan rock (HUGE!!!) none of us would wear it. We would be too scared that we would get robbed!

Absolutely. I don’t need more than a carat.

czBrat

May 24th, 2010
10:57 am

Dig That, shouldn’t it be up to her whether or not she is perfectly happy with .5ct even though you’re ballin on wall st? i think it’s entirely unreasonable and selfish to want more than your man can comfortably afford, but that doesn’t mean you HAVE to go for as much as he can handle if that’s just not your taste.

SlimOne...Gemini twinny twin twin

May 24th, 2010
10:57 am

Lady J – was your friend able to keep the secret Whitehall meeting with your SO to herself? I think i’d be so excited that I may slip up and let the cat out of the bag. I also don’t think i’d want that type of pressure of helping a dude pick out a ring for his lady. If she doesn’t like it, I’d feel bad. I’m just not that girlie when it comes to things like that.

Melo

May 24th, 2010
10:58 am

She threw a fit and made him redo the proposal.

@Yaza!!

he must have been gay,to have such a snake back!

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
10:58 am

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
10:59 am

There isn’t a counterpart for men, IMHO, to the diamond imperative.

I hear a good “man cave” helps. :lol:

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
10:59 am

yes ma’am and I am a demanding heifer and was like WTH why are you @ Lenox without me….that was early 200’s and we ran the streets and I was like what are you doing honey……..she blew me off……lol…….

frugal one

May 24th, 2010
11:00 am

I more or less gently nudged my husband to the local pawn shop for my diamond. He bought me a beautiful 1 carat with excellent clarity and cut for $1500 cash. The same ring would have cost a lot more in the mall. I wanted at least a carat(good color and no eclusions) and could not stand to see him go in debt for a ring or spend 1 month’s salary on one. Once the diamond is on the finger no one knows whether it came from the local pawn shop or Tiffany’s.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:00 am

now you can’t pay me to go to lenox! ha!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 24th, 2010
11:00 am

Ok about the ring.. The only thing I will say is this… Dont plan on buying another engagement ring but if I did it would have to be bigger than 2 1/2 carats.. Thats what the EX had.. Ha!!! Oh with Platinum Bands

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:02 am

awwwwww DK some lucky woman will have you as their husband again….stay open minded! LOL

Buckhead Writer

May 24th, 2010
11:03 am

My boyfriend and I have been discussing engagement and I think all of our discussions have gone very well. We both agree that it is important for me to have a nice ring that I love and that is special, but as two young people who aren’t rolling in dough, he promised that on down the road, he could get me a bigger and better ring for an anniversary present. I think this is a smart compromise. I also told him early on that it was important to me that I be surprised and dazzled by a proposal. He seems to respect my wishes as I have gotten the hint he plans to propose soon, but will not tell me when, where or how. And this is how I want it to be. We’re both very happy!

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:03 am

meant 2000’s slim

Melo

May 24th, 2010
11:04 am

1500 cash.???

@the expensive one…

did u say $150 or u said $1500?? fifteen hundred for a phluccking,’marry me if u want’ ring??

For what??

SlimOne...Gemini twinny twin twin

May 24th, 2010
11:04 am

Lady J – LOL! I remember I was with my ex’s mother in the mall and she decided that I should get my finger sized. Next thing you know she has me trying on rings and such. I was like, you and I must be getting married because your son shole hasn’t said anything about it. She just laughed it off but deep down inside, I think she wanted us to get married more so than he ever claimed to. Even back when I lived with her for a short stint, she would leave ring mailers on my bed telling me I should start getting an idea of what type of ring i’d want. It became a bit excessive. Still no proposal….

So guess i’m still having Single Sex In the CIty. :-D

I am whatever you say I am

May 24th, 2010
11:05 am

All I ask is that if you were married before, make sure what I get is better than what the ex had :-D

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:06 am

A coworker of mine got slack from her friends because she didn’t have a ring.
They all shut up when she told them that instead of a ring, he bought her a house

Eh…we got houses. lol

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:07 am

Slim i spit my drink out!!!!!!!!! LMBAO!!!!!!1

brb

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:07 am

An old co-worker of mine got engaged a few years ago and her ring was TEENY TINY….I know how women are when you mention the word “engaged” because they immediately go into Judge the Ring mode. The looks on their faces whenever they saw the ring was crazy. I sort of felt bad but she wore it with honor.

My baby sis has a teeny ring. She wears it with pride too.

Most importantly, she has a good marriage and is very happy. So is he.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:10 am

ok yall heard eric snow and his wife is spitting????

Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)

May 24th, 2010
11:12 am

So guess i’m still having Single Sex In the CIty.

That’s perfectly okay…do you baby girl.

On topic: Never been in that situation….not even a conversation( a serious one) about marriage let alone a ring. That’s just something I haven’t pressed about. I’m not knocking it,though…just haven’t gotten there

Randyt (AKA How do I find my way home...)

May 24th, 2010
11:13 am

Hey Melo, Dig That

I’m over in N. England (again). If these clowns had listened to me 2 years ago, i wouldn’t have to be there right now. ,may be going to Southern France for awhile, about an hour from the French Riviera. Nice duty just a long way from home.

Re the rings, it is pretty much a “loss leader” for a guy. If you don’t buy nice, she’ll make ya pay for it in other ways. If she does like it, that is no guarantee that she will keep on liking YOU anyway and will keep the ring when she kicks you to the curb.

It is one of those things you just accept, bend over and take it like a man and move on trying to forget the pain to the checkbook ;-)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 24th, 2010
11:13 am

Lady J – Yeah some lucky lady will be getting a ring from me.. A commitment ring.. thats it.. Ha!! Im committed to ya baby and I love ya.. Now get on outta here.. :-)

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:14 am

Sassy LMBAO!!!!!!

I am ready to see Miss Carrie and the gang too!!!!!!!!! YIPPPPIE!

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:14 am

I more or less gently nudged my husband to the local pawn shop for my diamond. He bought me a beautiful 1 carat with excellent clarity and cut for $1500 cash.

Ooh..that is a good idea. With this economy, I’m sure there is a great selection out there. :(

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:15 am

Lord have mercy so she isn’t entitled to your social security when you clock out???? sorry I think long term and men die quicker……lol

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:17 am

I think it is ten years DK

also dk me an dmy ex are still beneficiaries on our insurance policies for our daughter sake an dit is in writing in a living will Yep gotta have it….lol straight business…..

Dig That

May 24th, 2010
11:17 am

@Brat- we are on the same page.

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:17 am

DK and Leggs – This weekend I read an article about this couple that married, but kept seperate residences. The guy had two kids and a good system and the wife liked being alone and didnt want to be a step mom. So seperate houses it is. They’ve been married for 7 years and feel that their marriage is strong because they have time to “miss” each other.

So keep hope alive. lol

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:18 am

a percentage that is not 100%…..

Kym-If you do 4 me..I will do 4 you.

May 24th, 2010
11:18 am

@RandyT, Carlito and Swiss..The last two hours are on the clock fellows..for 24..I just know I am going to cry. This movie they are working on better come out soon.

Melo

May 24th, 2010
11:19 am

If she does like it, that is no guarantee that she will keep on liking YOU anyway

@Randyt!!

u spend 10k and she kicks u..she def has some cash to give her a head start with her life and u holding the wrong end of the stick…..

I dont think like most other men do,thankfully…..im always hedging coz like sister girl said,no gurantees in lyfe..so i wld rather err on the side of caution with my money.

cootie cat scent is all the same..im not getting dazzled by it and splurging on dead matter! :lol: :lol:

East Point's Own

May 24th, 2010
11:19 am

Over the last few years I have heard women say that they have to basically approve of the ring beforehand, meaning they have to go ring shopping with their man before the proposal. More than a couple women have told me that “since they have to wear the ring everyday the woman should like it.”
I wonder who started this whole line of thinking… it seems to be pretty popular these days.

http://hispointofview.com

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:19 am

wow ared that is different…….

I think I would make a great step mom but what I have noticed I don’t date guys with kids per se or haven’t had to deal with that…..lol

SlimOne...Single Sex in the City

May 24th, 2010
11:20 am

DK – LMAO!!! I imagined you giving a chick a slap on the arse when you said, Now get on outta here. lol

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

May 24th, 2010
11:20 am

lolololol EPO! A woman of course!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 24th, 2010
11:21 am

ARED – Thats the only way to go for me.. Im good on Marriage cause unlike Randy T said “I dont want to bend over and take it like a man” Im doing life on my terms now and Im sure its a babe out there that wants what I want I just have to find her.

czBrat

May 24th, 2010
11:21 am

don’t know and don’t care what the ex had. i just want what makes me smile and he wants what will make him smile and with that we’ll be quite content with our little trinkets.

Amazon, you just reminded me of something that really irked me about a co-worker not too long ago. she came to me complaining that she felt her sister’s engagement ring was too small and that she intended to have a talk with the guy about it. i asked if her sister was happy and she said ‘yes’, but that her sister was never one to complain. my co-worker tells me he is a business owner and can certainly to better. i told her i felt she was wrong. well, she invited them over to ‘celebrate’ and spoke to him about the ring. dude had to admit the business wasn’t doing so well and that they felt it was smarter to be conservative now and upgrade in the future. she had the nerve to come back and tell me she “approves” of their decision. is it just me? maybe that’s just fam looking out for fam, but i was completely :shock: over her getting in their business like that.

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:21 am

@Lady J, that was the focus of the article…if you ever thought your marriage was “different” look at these… :lol:

One lady is engaged to a man…who was born a woman. She’s not gay tho.

Dig That

May 24th, 2010
11:21 am

@LadyJ- That is using your head.

Kym-If you do 4 me..I will do 4 you.

May 24th, 2010
11:22 am

To get the Social Security..must be married 10 years. If you divorce after the 10 years and you or she remarries..the first spouse still gets the Social Security. First one down the aisle and holds for 10 years gets the money..such as it is. Second wife..you out of luck.

Raqi

May 24th, 2010
11:22 am

But Randy that’s with anything when it comes to relationships. You may as well say you are going to get married but not move in together because she may stop liking you. Or not buy a new bed to sleep in because she may not want to sleep with/beside you at some time.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 24th, 2010
11:23 am

Slim – Yes Ma’am send tha A$$ away happy..

AmazonRed™

May 24th, 2010
11:24 am

czBrat – That is way too much. I’ve never told my sister what I’ve thought of her ring… it doesn’t matter what I think. Besides, they’re broke and in love and I know the did the best he could. (he didn’t even have a car at the time).

I am certain he will upgrade her down the line.

My other sister has a gorgeous ring that I want to steal. lol

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 24th, 2010
11:24 am

I might generally ask what style ring she likes but thats it. As in the shape of the Diamond. If she doesnt like it, cool I can take it back and she can buy the one she wants herself to have…