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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Diversify your dating options?

I was hanging out with my fabulous cousin Stephanie recently. She lives here in the city but since we both travel and have crazy work schedules we don’t hang out as much as we’d like to.  We were talking about our (only) male cousins  who had married white women and how it seemed as if the family accepted them.  Stephanie turned to me and said, “Well, you know Grandmother thinks that we both are going to marry white men. She told me that once”

When my cousins married white women it didn’t seem to cause an uproar.  For some reason, I don’t expect the same reaction if Stephanie or I decided to marry a white man.  I don’t have any proof of this, it’s just a feeling I get.  It seems that we aren’t supposed to have the same options as our cousins did.

The Modern Day Match Maker aka Mr. Brunson recently interviewed author  Langhorne Folan about her book “Don’t Bring Home a White Boy.”  I was impressed by the points Ms. Folan raised here.  She basically described the exact challenges and expectations a woman like me could face when we consider exploring our options in dating other races.

As in the video, I also wondered if interracial dating will continue to be so controversial?  What kind of challenges will the next generation face if they decided to “diversify their dating” so to speak?

How can women find ways to meet and date men of other races without it feeling so “premeditated” and plotted out?

Ladies, if you have tried online dating, do you widen your selection criteria beyond one particular race?

Guys, do you find it difficult to diversify your dating options?  Do you find it easy to meet women with diverse backgrounds who are interested in exploring relationships with you?

470 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss

May 18th, 2010
10:34 am

“They can be 5-6 murders/rapes in before someone considers them a suspect…and that’s just with white on white crime”

Well, d@mn…. I only got by with 2 — I was robbed! :lol:

On topic: Well, you all know where I stand on this… SWIRL ON! :lol: Nah, actually, just be with who you love, regardless of who that may be. For me, I’ve always tended to gravitate to black women because I’ve always been more attracted to dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes, etc. That simple. As far as making interracial relationships work, not to over-simplify, but I think you just have to put everything in perspective. Yes, we are different. Yes, we (blacks & whites, particularly here in the U.S.) have a lot of negative shared history. But none of that is more important than how I feel about you & how you feel about me…

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:36 am

awww lubbug I am so open to their culture! I see many mexican with black women!

DreamsMaterialize

May 18th, 2010
10:37 am

Carlito you get no objection from me on this point, but I’m sure you objection from many others.

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:37 am

swiss great post!!!!!!!!

Happy for you too!!!!!!

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
10:37 am

Aren’t our hearts pink. Seriously, I get your point!

boots

May 18th, 2010
10:37 am

@ Luvbug…. seriously? I’m pretty sure most white guys walking around are not serial rapist who have been let go by the justice system. Breathe, lady, breathe! As Ronald Reagan said, trust but verify.

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:38 am

Thanks Mo!!!! I am just happy I get to go to a meeting I promise my pysche plays with me sometimes about my child and getting my degree but I do have support! just thankful I can attend the meeting!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:39 am

luvbug that is!

AmazonRed™

May 18th, 2010
10:40 am

Stephanie turned to me and said, “Well, you know Grandmother thinks that we both are going to marry white men. She told me that once

:lol: My Grandparents told me about a year ago that “love is colorblind” shocked the hell out of me. :lol:

Would I be open to marrying a guy outside my race? Sure. Would I actively seek out a non-black man? No. Preserving the black family is important to me. I watched Will and Jada Smith on Oprah yesterday…their family is refreshing.

Grace

May 18th, 2010
10:42 am

Good Tuesday morning, I’ve always been opened to dating outside my black race and have done it several times…. BTW ladies it is a myth :wink:

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
10:42 am

The heart is red! Must have been thinking of some other pink organ???

i'm swiss

May 18th, 2010
10:43 am

Leggs — You’re right… it is all pink on the inside…. ;-) :lol:

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
10:43 am

@ARed ~ I forgot to record before I left home. Thank goodness my neighbor has a key. I called and had her son go over and tape Oprah for me yesterday. I like Will and Jada!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:44 am

ARed great post and yes their family rocks!!!!!

Luvbug

May 18th, 2010
10:47 am

Swiss – LOL

boots- Yes, seriously. I don’t believe that most white guys are serial rapist let go by the justice system. I believe that they are prosecuted far less harshly than others…and that concerns me. I would have the same concern with dating a policeman or top wall street executive…but we’re talking about race now and that is the fear I would like to expose today.

Baskin Robins!!! ( Down with all 31 flavors)

May 18th, 2010
10:48 am

Pink is good…..

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
10:49 am

Baskin Robins ~ are you thinking what I think you’re thinking???

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:49 am

luvbug agree!

AmazonRed™

May 18th, 2010
10:49 am

I called and had her son go over and tape Oprah for me yesterday.

:shock: :lol:

I literally have not watched Oprah in years. It was all coincidence I even caught yesterday’s show!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:50 am

ared I don’t watch at all but I love the next day recaps!!!!!!! lol

SexyCool13

May 18th, 2010
10:50 am

Mo (aka Moeisha - jammin to Outkast videos!)

May 18th, 2010
10:52 am

ARed – hey chica! I watched Oprah yesterday as well, I have always liked Will & Jada! It was quite interesting and refreshing to hear them talk about their family and extended family and how they function

Carlito

May 18th, 2010
10:53 am

Dreams, I am surprised there were no attacks from Big Nick after my blog entry. LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

May 18th, 2010
10:54 am

Ok topic change.. Oh and Good Morning..

What in the gobbledy goop is going on with the SCLC? Im craming to understand.. I do feel a “And I wouldve gotten away with it if it werent for you meddling kids” coming though..

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:54 am

thanks sexycool will be apart of my summer reads!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
10:58 am

dk I looked @ that maddness this morning and was like wow are we resulting to this!

DreamsMaterialize

May 18th, 2010
10:59 am

Dreams, I am surprised there were no attacks from Big Nick after my blog entry. LOL
Carlito the trolls intentionnally make incendiary comments, but they don’t stick around for the responses because they aren’t really interested in beneficial dialogue.

Melo

May 18th, 2010
10:59 am

What in the gobbledy goop is going on with the SCLC?

@DK??

U talking bout Thugg Merkel, i mean rev… changing the locks in the middle of the nite?? :lol:

Thats a pastor for u…?? to think there wld be congregants listening to him on sunday?? delivering what godly message??

Thank God he got no church! :lol:

Carlito

May 18th, 2010
11:00 am

It is only 11am? Feels like it is late afternoon.

Have a good rest of the day :) TTYL

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
11:01 am

@ARed ~ :lol: Neighbors can be very helpful. I haven’t recorded Oprah in a long time, and I really wanted to see The Smith Family.

PrincessNik

May 18th, 2010
11:05 am

Central is our (SCSU) rival!

Lady J

SCSU has 15 rivals please pick one LOL

Mo (aka Moeisha - jammin to Outkast videos!)

May 18th, 2010
11:08 am

Infamous – I saw that mess with the SCLC and just shook my head….SERIOUSLY?!?!?

abc

May 18th, 2010
11:08 am

Fact is, inter-racial dating and marriage doesn’t really happen that much. White men and black women are the least likely combination. If that’s what you’re feeling then go with it.

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:08 am

Fight MISSY!!!! FAMU AND NCCU ARE OUR FIERCE HONEY!!!! LOL BC IS A CAKE WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

LMBAO!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:09 am

for 2 years straight we have WON the MEAC honey so thay are not ready for the SCSU BULLDOGS!!!!!! LOL

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:10 am

Melo LMBAO @ you and your assessment!!!!!

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
11:10 am

@InfamousD ~ to childishly change the locks and leave town is rid.iculous at best. I have no doubt that although the doors are padlocked, pertinent paperwork has probably been removed as well. When I first heard the story I thought more on what was taken out of the bldg. as opposed to no one being able to get in. We have leaders who are so territorial they forget to lead!

DreamsMaterialize

May 18th, 2010
11:10 am

What in the gobbledy goop is going on with the SCLC?
Man, why am I not surprised to see that Markel Hutchins is right in the middle of this. He was a clown in college, and he’s a clown now. This is what happens when clowns are in charge of organizations. I’m tired of clowns.

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
11:10 am

LMAO!!! I swear sometimes abc reminds me of that skit from SNL..Debbie Downer..everyone is all hyped and happy over something and here comes Debbie with some stats..to squash it all. LMAO!!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:10 am

abc you are right about that! lol

AmazonRed™ - pro black not anti white

May 18th, 2010
11:12 am

Neighbors can be very helpful.

:lol: Yes, for emergencies, not Oprah tapings.

Just messing with ya. ;)

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:13 am

but wonder why abc the white man and black woman…..hmmmmmmmm

It's me....lurker

May 18th, 2010
11:13 am

Ya’ll know NICK is some cowardice hooded crusader that can only find a forum to say what he really feels anon…cause he knows as well as we know he betnot be out with that kind of foolishness. Anyway if your folks can’t handle a black man (and I’m just saying…not being ignorant), then they should stay in their lane

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:15 am

dreamsM what is your take too…..did you do an assessment…..the white man and black woman……

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:16 am

clown is a great assessment but he tries! lol

i'm swiss

May 18th, 2010
11:17 am

Lady J — Sadly, I suspect this may have a little something to do with it…

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
11:18 am

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
11:21 am

Ate my post again!

@ARed ~ I know, I know, sometimes are priorities can be off center (lol)!

@InfamousD ~ I can’t believe how childish he was to padlock the offices. I immediately thought of what was taken out of those offices more so than the people not being able to get in. So many of our leaders are territorial yet they refuse to lead. That is a damn shame!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
11:22 am

wow swiss that was the truth and makes me more aware as a parent to what I teach and how I raise my child!!!!

Thanks sir!

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
11:23 am

Much like my typing…off center!