Diversify your dating options?
I was hanging out with my fabulous cousin Stephanie recently. She lives here in the city but since we both travel and have crazy work schedules we don’t hang out as much as we’d like to. We were talking about our (only) male cousins who had married white women and how it seemed as if the family accepted them. Stephanie turned to me and said, “Well, you know Grandmother thinks that we both are going to marry white men. She told me that once”
When my cousins married white women it didn’t seem to cause an uproar. For some reason, I don’t expect the same reaction if Stephanie or I decided to marry a white man. I don’t have any proof of this, it’s just a feeling I get. It seems that we aren’t supposed to have the same options as our cousins did.
The Modern Day Match Maker aka Mr. Brunson recently interviewed author Langhorne Folan about her book “Don’t Bring Home a White Boy.” I was impressed by the points Ms. Folan raised here. She basically described the exact challenges and expectations a woman like me could face when we consider exploring our options in dating other races.
As in the video, I also wondered if interracial dating will continue to be so controversial? What kind of challenges will the next generation face if they decided to “diversify their dating” so to speak?
How can women find ways to meet and date men of other races without it feeling so “premeditated” and plotted out?
Ladies, if you have tried online dating, do you widen your selection criteria beyond one particular race?
Guys, do you find it difficult to diversify your dating options? Do you find it easy to meet women with diverse backgrounds who are interested in exploring relationships with you?
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470 comments Add your comment
Lucinda
May 18th, 2010
9:40 am
@Leggs <— gonna have to take ya out for Johnny Depp.
Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan
May 18th, 2010
9:40 am
@Baskins..I am never bitter at some black dude who gets a white woman..good for him. I do question so of their taste in white women..but hell who am I to judge? Just wish the ones I see in the wally world would put on some better clothes..I mean I know its walmart but still..
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
9:40 am
Hmmmm I kid you not it is some great Hispanic men out there that I would date! real talk! lol
Asian a thought…..would they be open to dating outside their race lucinda???? lol
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
9:41 am
kym too funny!
Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan
May 18th, 2010
9:42 am
Lucinda..I am just going to say..for me unless dude is as tall as Yao Ming..it is not going to work. Most Asian men I see are short..I just can’t do short.
Lucinda
May 18th, 2010
9:42 am
@LadyJ no idea, never tested those waters, but you never seem to see anything but white man/asian woman.
@Kym too funny! you seen http://www.peopleofwalmart.com?
Trevor0529 - 11 days until 42
May 18th, 2010
9:44 am
Good Morning,
I have not diversified my dating options yet since I am slowly getting back into the dating pool. I have no issues with interracial dating and/or marriage. My brother married a white woman who had two boys prior to their meeting. They now have a young son of their own but I consider my brother stepson my nephews because they are family. With that being said, my dating preference is black women.
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
9:44 am
Why in the world are they canceling this show??? EXACTLY!
@SassyMe ~ I was the one swooning over Sam Elliot…back off!
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
9:47 am
@LadyJ ~ Smits, I’ve always liked him. Can’t think of his first name. Back in the day, Eric Estrada would handcuff me any day!
Carlito
May 18th, 2010
9:47 am
Kym, I wonder why they are canceling it as well. Hassan’s wife knew something was amiss as soon as she saw Logan. Jack left him alive for a reason, I just do not know what it is yet. Is next week the final episode? I really hope that Jack completes his mission and does not die from his wound.
DreamsMaterialize
May 18th, 2010
9:47 am
Morning
I have dated outside my culture/ethnicity, but never outside my race. I’ve dated latinos, but they were obviously black and readily acknowledged their african ancestry. I also kicked it with a Samoan girl, but she also acknowledged being black. Same for the girl from Fiji. I dated a sista from England, and one from France. A Nigerian, a Kenyan, an Ethiopian, a Cape Verdean, a Trini girl, an Antiguan, a Guyanese, Belizean. All different cultures & ethnicities, but the same race. Almost dated an asian girl with pretty dark skin from Laos once, but we just stayed friends.
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
9:49 am
Not would….could!
Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan
May 18th, 2010
9:49 am
Carlito next week is it..the end of a era..there will never be another Jack.
Trevor0529 - 11 days until 42
May 18th, 2010
9:50 am
hmmmmm so white women are not angry and bitter just black women…..hmmmmm
White women have it just as hard as black women to find a good dude.
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
9:50 am
Is it just me, but do you guys trust Jack’s right hand man! Something about the way he said he didn’t have the right equipment and had to go back to the hotel or whereever he had to go to irked me! Any of you looking at him?????
BIG Nick
May 18th, 2010
9:52 am
Any white woman that dates a black man has absolutely no self esteem and is asking to be abused emotionally, physically and especially financially. Black men are animals. No education. No positive role models.
When was the last time you heard about a white man robbing, raping or murdering a black woman?
Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan
May 18th, 2010
9:54 am
@Leggs that dude is clean..he has been under the radar since the Gulf War..I don’t trust or like Cole..that joker needs to get shot just on gp. Idiot boy.
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
9:55 am
STFU little minded Nick!
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
9:56 am
Had to laugh at Idiot boy!
Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)
May 18th, 2010
9:58 am
I was the one swooning over Sam Elliot…back off!
My bad Leggs…
What about Asian dudes?
I’ve never been there either but I’ve always thought Chao Yun Fat(Bullet Proof Monk) was sexy.
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:00 am
I am open and aware……lol….when that time comes if it does I won’t be ignorant to the fact or rule it out…..I remember when I was a candy stripper back in the day at the local hospital, I was a high school graduate, and this younger white dude was flirting…lol…also in high school my high school sweatheart played baseball and I kept score for the team (yeas I love sports) lol but his white team mate was trying to flirt behind the scenes….lol at the end of the day men are men and men like what they like and flirt without looking at race 1st……lol
kimmie
May 18th, 2010
10:00 am
Just popped in to say Good morning!
I was open to dating multiculturally, but never got the opportunity. Only my brothers pay any attention to me, so that’s who I’ve dated, those that want me. Don’t really care about what others do, just don’t put down your own. Keep your stereotypes to yourself.
Have a good one Gang!
Baskin Robins!!! ( Down with all 31 flavors)
May 18th, 2010
10:00 am
Is this Nick dude a regular here????
Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)
May 18th, 2010
10:01 am
STFU little minded Nick!
Needed repeating….
Carlito
May 18th, 2010
10:01 am
Big Nick, ever heard of slavery and what the white people did to black women? Or President Obama, Colin Powell, Vernon Johnson, Booker T. Washington, Jesus. Those are a few of my Minority role models who just happen to be black.
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
10:02 am
Is it Candy Stripper or Candy Striper?
Stripping for candy…sorry, couldn’t resist!
Lucinda
May 18th, 2010
10:02 am
I was a candy stripper back in the day at the local hospital,
think you mean “candy striper” Ladyj???!!!
Keith
May 18th, 2010
10:03 am
A man is a man…white, black, brown, or green. A man will do what he want to. If any person wants to date outside their race; thats their problem. I like my sista way too much to leave them. They need me and I need them. I will not marry or date outside my race. Stick with your own race.
Melo
May 18th, 2010
10:05 am
I also kicked it with a Samoan girl, but she also acknowledged being black. Same for the girl from Fiji. I dated a sista from England, and one from France. A Nigerian, a Kenyan, an Ethiopian, a Cape Verdean, a Trini girl, an Antiguan, a Guyanese, Belizean. All different cultures & ethnicities, but the same race
@Dreams!!??
Daaaamn man..thats diversity for real!!
I wldnt be surprised nor raise eye brows if u said u keep momentos/souvenir of rainbow colored condoms, with tribal markings of faces and ship wreckings etc,ur bedroom!
Like BlackMagic..u’re the epitome BlueTooth United Nations of Dating and Phlucking!!
:lol;
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:05 am
striper yeah sadly and I thought I got it right go figure the pp’s got to me! LMBAO!
DreamsMaterialize
May 18th, 2010
10:05 am
Jesus. Those are a few of my Minority role models who just happen to be black.
Carlito now gets abducted by masked individuals, thrown into an unmarked white van, and taken to an undisclosed location in the Vatican. lol
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:06 am
I truly was trying to avoid stripper see thinking too hard lol
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:07 am
lucinda that is why I follwed up with the hospital part breaking it down! silly me!
DreamsMaterialize
May 18th, 2010
10:10 am
Melo that’s funny man. There’s plenty of diversity in the diaspora of black people. I love it!
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
10:12 am
@kimmie ~ thank you for the end of the day quote!
Carlito
May 18th, 2010
10:12 am
Dreams, LOL
All I have to say is that I am glad God is not prejudiced, like some people are. We are all made by him and his image. Africa is the birth place of civilization and we are ALL descendants of Adam and Eve somewhere along the lineage. We are all one family ,with some incest (LOL). Tower of Babel, anyone know the story? LOL
Luvbug
May 18th, 2010
10:13 am
The longest relationship I’ve been in was with a Mexican, but he looked like a light-skinned black guy. I’m not opposed to dating outside of my race. I’m only apprehensive about dating one particular race, white guys…not b/c they’re white but b/c white guys get a few (if not a lot of) freebies with the criminal justice system. They can be 5-6 murders/rapes in before someone considers them a suspect…and that’s just with white on white crime. I’m not absolutely against dating a white guy, but I’m more likely to strenuously vet him and have 3-4 exit strategies set up in advance.
Maybe that’s way too honest a statement, but that’s how I feel (so far).
Mo (aka Moeisha - jammin to Outkast videos!)
May 18th, 2010
10:14 am
Morning All!
Lady J – this snack duty is no joke, Im making bags as we speak for a game tonight and tomorrow!! LOL! And Im peeking at the blog about T.O. coming to the A as well
As for my “options” in dating: I LOVE Matthew McCutie (from Time to Kill, The Wedding Planner…I cannot spell that last name), David Beckham, Matt Cibrian (the old Matt from Y&R that is on CSI Miami I think), Orlando Bloom, Eric Bana (OMG was he NOT fine in “Troy” or WHAT). I think all of these guys are oh so cute
Okay Im still speed reading and catching up so I’ll say more in a sec
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:15 am
awww just had a awesome convo with another one of my white male co workers who is married to a black women!!!! their son will be attending North Carolina Central !!!!! I am too excited!!!! so yes there are great multi-racial unions out there!
Central is our (SCSU) rival! LOL
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:17 am
Leggs I deserved that one I was so trying to avoid the usual but I am me! and yall love me despite my flaws! LOL
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:18 am
meant married to a black woman
kimmie
May 18th, 2010
10:22 am
Leggs – U r welcome:)
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
10:22 am
Yeah, we still love you and so glad you put that stripping behind you and got a decent job.
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:27 am
Mo I get to attend my child’s prek5 meeting tonight!!!! Class is cancelled and i am too excited…her dad went to the 1st one now today his my mommy free day and I am doing me to the MAX……mani, pedi, eyebrow arch, then meeting with JLC about my child’s future!!!!1 PRICELESS!!!!!
Mo your son is blessed to have you!!!!!
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:28 am
I will fail as a stripper! LOL I ask too many questions! LOL
Leggs
May 18th, 2010
10:29 am
I’ve never heard of a stripper stripping and talking at the same time.
boots
May 18th, 2010
10:30 am
This has always been an interesting issue for me. I’m a white guy, raised here in the South and just turned 40. I could care less what color someone is, and I think most of my friends would agree. In fact, I have dated hispanic and asian women, and how is that any different than dating an african-american woman? It is not. I think most – not all – white people (especially those under the age of say 45) are over than hump, and I wonder if the black community feels the same? For me, it is all about the heart, and I think we all have red ones.
Jimmy
May 18th, 2010
10:32 am
Black women are so under-appreciated in today’s world. The way a woman carries herself is truly what determines whether a man finds her attractive or not. Never forget that. A “polite and friendly” demeanor is approachable and easy to be around. The mocha skin, dark hair, and chocolate brown eyes that make my stomach do somersaults…well…those don’t hurt either.
Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm
May 18th, 2010
10:34 am
LMBAO Leggs stop!!!! i am so sorry for that! Really it was an honest mistake!!!!!!
Mo (aka Moeisha - jammin to Outkast videos!)
May 18th, 2010
10:34 am
Lady J – enjoy yourself chica!! Sounds like you have a great day ahead!