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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Diversify your dating options?

I was hanging out with my fabulous cousin Stephanie recently. She lives here in the city but since we both travel and have crazy work schedules we don’t hang out as much as we’d like to.  We were talking about our (only) male cousins  who had married white women and how it seemed as if the family accepted them.  Stephanie turned to me and said, “Well, you know Grandmother thinks that we both are going to marry white men. She told me that once”

When my cousins married white women it didn’t seem to cause an uproar.  For some reason, I don’t expect the same reaction if Stephanie or I decided to marry a white man.  I don’t have any proof of this, it’s just a feeling I get.  It seems that we aren’t supposed to have the same options as our cousins did.

The Modern Day Match Maker aka Mr. Brunson recently interviewed author  Langhorne Folan about her book “Don’t Bring Home a White Boy.”  I was impressed by the points Ms. Folan raised here.  She basically described the exact challenges and expectations a woman like me could face when we consider exploring our options in dating other races.

As in the video, I also wondered if interracial dating will continue to be so controversial?  What kind of challenges will the next generation face if they decided to “diversify their dating” so to speak?

How can women find ways to meet and date men of other races without it feeling so “premeditated” and plotted out?

Ladies, if you have tried online dating, do you widen your selection criteria beyond one particular race?

Guys, do you find it difficult to diversify your dating options?  Do you find it easy to meet women with diverse backgrounds who are interested in exploring relationships with you?

470 comments Add your comment

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
8:22 am

Good Morning All,

Give’em hell Morrus.

On-Topic..Wisey my cousins say the same about me. If I brought home a white guy..no one would be shocked. Hurt but not shocked.

The older I get the less I am concerned with race. If you had asked me oh I don’t know say a year ago..I might have been nope I am down with the brothas..I am not trying to swirl.(is that the right term) But now..I am all for someone who is going to do right by me so I can do right by him..period..end of story. This is no longer about successful black women blah..blah.. or cant find a good man blah..blah..nope I am concern more with someone who will show me care and concern. Now if you ask me do I dream of a white chocolate prince..not really ..well there was that dream about Nick Cage..ohh and Brian Urlacher could get it on a bad day…ohh and I got a thing for Timothy Hutton and the other guy on Leverage..but I digress.

If I ever do take the plunge back into online dating..well I personally would not rule the swirl out. That is all.

Lucinda

May 18th, 2010
8:27 am

Hold up, Kym, Nicholas Cages is MINE!!! LOL

On topic, I am currently dating a white guy. Different for sure, but works so far. We’ll see…

Lucinda

May 18th, 2010
8:28 am

(that’s “Cage” not Cages. Was looking for my gloves while typing, just in case)

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
8:30 am

Good Morning!!!!!

I have yet to date outside my race…….With time I do see less color but many times I am reminded color is there…..If I brought home a white man there will be jokes bc I have dated and married well very dark skin or darker men….it is my weakness….lol…….I do embrace the theme dating outside the box and if the experience is apart of my journey then one day I will see what the hype is about……I applaud multi-racial dating and marriages who fight the stigma and perception of our society……

They have a should T.O. come to the Falcons Blog going on too crew………I am going to peek in….lol

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
8:35 am

Lucinda..ohh we can go about the Ghost Rider..bring it chica!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
8:43 am

The guy in Sweet Home Alabama is a cutie and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days!!!!!!!!

Richard Gere is an all time Favorite!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
8:44 am

I would date Mr. Biggs off Sex and the City!!!!! Yep! LOL!

Jeff

May 18th, 2010
8:45 am

Halle Berry is free and I’m available to be her next big mistake in the world of love.

As my (white) guy friends used to say: She’s so fine I’d walk her down the aisle in church on Sunday and sit her on the FRONT row.

Lucinda

May 18th, 2010
8:51 am

Kym, it’s on now!! Plus, ill fight anybody for Johnny Depp. yummmmmmmm ummmm phew that man is ummm.

@Jeff funny!

the whole interactial dating thing requires some humor — both to laugh at yourself — and the funny stuff people do. But its also an education process and im finding that my white guy wants to “get it”, he just hasn’t been around certain things enough. But at least he’s trying and that[s what matters. Plus at the end of the day, we all want to connect with somebody so if it works it works.

PrincessNik

May 18th, 2010
8:53 am

Let me get my vote in

Matthew Mcconaughey

OMG

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
8:55 am

thanks PK!!!!! I don’t do names well!!!! LOL

He’s a keeper!!!! BEAUITFUL SMILE!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
8:56 am

Jon B and Robin Thicke!

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

May 18th, 2010
8:59 am

To swirl or not to swirl…that’s the question

I have yet to date outside of my race but I’ve always been curious about it….the opportunity hasn’t presented itself but I’m open to it…

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
8:59 am

Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon!

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
9:00 am

@Lucinda..you can have Johnny Deep..but Nick..I don’t know I like a man with a touch of crazy..LMAO. Now back in the day..John Schiender..Bo Duke..in those tight jeans..sliding across the General Lee..LMAO..come to think of it..I had his poster. LMAO..

Okay who else.. Sean C. (Old James Bond please) New James Bond guy..I like his eyes…Trace Atkins..his voice..enough said…give me a min..

@Princess and I second that vote on Matthew..

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

May 18th, 2010
9:01 am

Lady J Robin can get it!! I used to like Jon B but he lost me when I found out he only likes light skinned sistas…and I’m anything but. However to each his own.

Carlito

May 18th, 2010
9:03 am

Hello everyone :) Interracial dating is nothing new from my observations, although I do not see it as much here in Atlanta in comparison to home or the neighboring states near home. Love knows no barriers. :) Have a great day everyone.

Lady J thanks for the Sunday message, I was indeed happy. :) I will be blogging less, more responsibility at work :)

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:03 am

Sassy Me, Robin is soooooo soulful and yes that is a major plus…..I just feel all connections have to be connected and yes I would hope to connect with his culture too!

Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)

May 18th, 2010
9:04 am

Sean C. (Old James Bond please) New James Bond guy..I like his eyes…Trace Atkins..his voice..enough said…

!!!!!!!!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:04 am

Carlito I thought about you yesterday and how you were going to do just that blog less!!!! I tell ya our postive connection is tight!!!!!!! Anytime my friend!!!! I am happy for you and your new wife and can’t wait to meet you both! I will toast you two too! God Bless your union!

SlimOne

May 18th, 2010
9:05 am

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:06 am

awwwwww the theme of the day ~Love knows no barriers~

That is doesn’t! Real unconditional pure love!

Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)

May 18th, 2010
9:06 am

Lady J I’m with you all the way on Robin….he reminds me of that Campbell’s soup slogan…. mmm,mmm GOOD ;)

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
9:07 am

@Carlito..I know good and doggone well you are not going to leave without talking about Jack..oh yeah Kiefer can get it to…

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:07 am

Gary Owen???? He does well with his wife and our culture!!!! He is one of my fav comedians!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:08 am

yes ma’am sassy me! all day long!!!! my mama loves him too! lol

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:09 am

Victor Newman! LOL

Lucinda

May 18th, 2010
9:09 am

Brad Pitt (seen those legs in Gladiator?) , George Clooney, Richard Gere (sans gerbil), Jude Law, Pierce Bronson (a prior 007)

Sean Connery beat up his ex-wife and made comments that she deserved it. Deal killer.

gabrielle

May 18th, 2010
9:12 am

I used to think I would never date anyone outside of my own race/culture-the odds are stacked against interracial marriage.I have many friends who are biracial and I’ve heard about the personal angst this has caused them in society. So I thought-no way. I’ll stay with what I know. (I’m Italian).

Then I fell madly in love with someone from a different race, culture AND religion. Did it cause some waves in our families? Yes. Do some people give us dirty looks when they see us out together? Yes. Have we had to deal with a lot of ignorance being here in this region of the country? Yes, yes, yes.

We make things work by having very open minds and very honest communication. Because we’ve had to discuss everything from religion to culture to racism, we’ve built an incredibly solid foundation.

Being with someone outside of your race/culture has its unique challenges. I think each individual has to be honest about their level of maturity, open-mindedness and need for approval from society and others before getting seriously involved with someone from a different background than your own.

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
9:13 am

Okay there is this other British actor he plays on this show Doc Martin..now his character is a bit goofy but I saw him in a interview with longer hair..and smiling..yeah out of character he could get it..I think its the accent..

Carlito

May 18th, 2010
9:13 am

Kym, HEY! :) I am not leaving, more lurking. LOL Jack, went he set up that motorcade, AWESOME. He said “I don’t plan on coming back” reminded me of the Jack of old. I wonder why he left Logan alive? The current president is going to end up dead or in jail herself.

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:13 am

yep George Clooney would be a great experience I bet!!!!!

Brad Pitt loses me but he is fine!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:14 am

That is AWESOME gabrielle!!!!!! Truly happy yall are beating the odds and staying true to yall!!!!!

Carlito

May 18th, 2010
9:16 am

Lucinda, Brad Pitt was not in Gladiator. Russell Crowe was. I think the movie Brad Pitt was in was named “Troy”

Are you all talking about “dating” these men or “bedding” them? You all are sounding like my little brother and his interracial quest. LOL

Carlito

May 18th, 2010
9:17 am

Lady J, thanks :)

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
9:17 am

Good morning, everyone.

Online dating is looking more and more promising. I’ve even gone so far and put my profile on one. Got a few good hits. Am even considering dating outside my race. Never done it, but it’s clearly time to find other avenues to this dating thing!

Now, Johnny Depp is ALL MINE! Back off! Love Sean Connery, Matthew McConaughey, Richard Gere, Robin Thicke and Brad Pitt. Can look at them all day, but Johnny Depp is ALL MINE! But, Sam Elliott can easily knock him out the box.

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:18 am

Carlito!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 LOL dating them! LOL Why we gotta be bedding them! LOL

Michael McDonald and Kenny G

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
9:20 am

Carlito..she is going to be impeached..but I am hoping Hassan’s wife slaps the mess out of her. Yep Jack went all out on those Russians..and I was really hoping he would kill Logan..that would have been the ultimate..but alas..that joker lives on. I knew he had something to do with the Russians..ugh can’t stand him. Why in the world are they canceling this show??? You saw that Jack got hurt..if he dies at the end of this next week..let’s just say it can’t end like that..it just can’t

Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)

May 18th, 2010
9:21 am

Brad Pitt (seen those legs in Gladiator?)

I think you’ve got the movies and/or the men mixed up….Brad was in Troy and I had to watch that movie by myself cause he was HAWT AS HELL in that movie. Actually he’s in another one called Legends of the Fall and oh my dayum…

Now Russell Crowe did Gladiator but I didn’t think he was all of that…he’s aiight,though.

Sean Connery beat up his ex-wife and made comments that she deserved it. Deal killer.

:shock: Noooooooo….

Kym-Jack Bauer's Biggest Fan

May 18th, 2010
9:24 am

Carlito..this is just fantasy..I have as much chance of meeting Nick Cage as I do winning the lotto. But its fun to dream. But I will take a Nick Cage sub..actually because I like big guys I would take a Brian Urlacher sub..

Sassy Me..Milk in my Koffee :-)

May 18th, 2010
9:25 am

Sam Elliott can easily knock him out the box.

Kym I didn’t want to be the first to say anything about Sam…thanx. :oops: I’ve always liked him as a cowboy/bad a$$ but when I saw him in Ghost Rider I liked him even more.

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:26 am

yep kym fun to dream! LOL

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:27 am

I have a co worker that is a flirt nice looking white male but he is happily married too sooooooo lol! men are men!

Baskin Robins!!! ( Down with all 31 flavors)

May 18th, 2010
9:28 am

Its great to hear so many folks say that they are open to interracial dating, but speaking from my own experiences, Let me be the first to say that there is very little difference between Black women and white women, but society really makes it hard for those relationships to work! The bias is still there and the anger and bitterness from the sisters will eventually take their toll. Now It can be done and is everyday, But it needs to said that its not as easy and just saying it and doing it……

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:28 am

lol Leggs I just thought about your co workers!!!! LOL you do well lady! LOL

Baskin Robins!!! ( Down with all 31 flavors)

May 18th, 2010
9:29 am

And for the record, I would pick a fight with my brother for a weekend with Jerri Ryan!!!

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:31 am

hmmmmm so white women are not angry and bitter just black women…..hmmmmm

Lady J-How can something so familiar be so strange...hmmmmm

May 18th, 2010
9:33 am

when we traced our roots and discovered our Rome Ga roots and Irish roots my perception of white men is welll ummmmm ya know….times are different but racism is real and our role back then to now has changed but my folks were in the house or at leat the women were and you know the story….naw we don’t talk about it now and it is almost taboo but I can’t forget our most of our families and last names started….just my personal spin…..andI know everyday I am a black women with a smile! LOL

Lucinda

May 18th, 2010
9:39 am

What about Asian dudes? Y’all ever date there?

Leggs

May 18th, 2010
9:40 am

24 WAS OFF THE CHAIN LAST NIGHT! Jack Bauer is the man. That motorcade setup was genius!